A/N: First of all, I want to thank everyone who reviewed! There will be more, and I swear that Arnold's crazy dreams will make sense. Keep reviewing! It only makes me want to write more! I love u guys!
Ack… Family!
By: ChickenGoddess
Confessions
Some "special" classes later, the bell sounded and the students bolted from PS118 and onto their specified busses. Grandma greeted Kimba and The Ambassador as they arrived and made their way into Arnold's room. Arnold sat at his desk and began his homework, however by the time Grandma sounded the cowbell that summoned them all back down for dinner, all he had done was written "Helga" on his paper several thousand time, no exaggeration. He stared at the paper with shocked eyes, reading the name he had written over and over.
"She's just on my mind, that's all." He convinced himself. "Arnie's been giving her… well, attention and I've been noticing. There's nothing else." Thoughts of this nature continued to float back and forth through his mind all through dinner. He barely touched is food, giving the rest to a very enthused Mr. Kokshka.
"Arnie… you can go upstairs… I need to talk to Arnold for a minute." Phil said, calling Arnold aside.
"Ok." Arnie snorted and made his way up the stairs.
"Arnold… are you ok?" Phil asked.
"Yeah… I'm fine, Grandpa." Arnold replied.
"Is it… your little friend with the one eyebrow?" He asked cautiously.
"Helga?! Why would Helga be on my mind?" He asked nervously.
"Heh… no reason. Get upstairs with your cousin before he does something stupid… er, worse than he's already done!"
Arnold smiled and ran upstairs, leaving Phil behind.
"What's the matter, Tex?" Gertie asked.
"I'm such a wily old coot!" he laughed.
"Arnold, I need to ask you something important." Arnie said with no inflection whatsoever.
"Sure, Arnie…"
"Are you in love with Helga?"
"What?! NO!" He shouted in a shocked and nervous manner. "What would make you think a crazy thing like that?!"
"You stare at her. You bought her lunch. You were nervous. You wrote her name on your paper 4,327 times."
"You counted?!"
"It's my hobby."
"Oh… right." Arnold remembered. "I was just… bored, that's all." He then added defensively, "Why do you want to know?!"
"I was just asking."
"No harm in asking…" Arnold thought.
"I'm gonna go out. I'll see you later." Arnie said, and left the room.
Arnold was left in awe of what had just happened. His cousin had accused him of being in love with Helga G. Pataki and walked out, not bothering to ask if it was ok to leave! He walked over to his desk and studied the paper on which he had scribbled her name 4,327 times. He threw himself in his chair and sighed. He didn't know anymore. Everything was so confusing.
The doorbell to the Pataki house rang. Miriam Pataki was out like a light against the refrigerator and Bob was watching TV.
"Olga! Get the door!"
Helga heard the sound from her room and reluctantly dragged herself away from her shrine and down the stairs. She opened the door and froze. Before her stood Arnie… with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. Before she could even ask why he was here, Arnie spoke.
"I love you Helga." He snorted.
Helga's face paled an unearthly white and a look of utter shock and pure terror resided on her face as she up and fainted, the door closing as she hit the ground.
The sound of Helga hitting the floor awoke a less-than-sober Miriam, who heard the doorbell ring. She slowly answered the door but not before stumbling a few times, failing to notice the unconscious form of her daughter on the floor a few feet from her. Miriam opened the door… and fainted. At her door was not the nice little blond boy from school, but an evil replica of some kind.
"Hi." Arnie said to the unconscious body before him as the door again swung shut in his face.
Helga returned to consciousness as Miriam landed on the floor. Terror gripped her as she hard the doorbell chime. Gasping sharply, she raced up the stairs and into her room, locking the door and grabbing the phone with a trembling hand. Shakily, she dialed Arnold's number and prayed to all high and holy that he was home.
"Sunset Arms Boarding House, this is Phil speaking."
"Phil, I need to talk to Arnold!" She said, nervously drumming her fingers against the nightstand where her phone rested.
"Who's this?" The old man asked."
"It's Helga! I NEED to talk to him! It's a matter of life and death!"
"Ok, ok, no need to get all angry… sheesh." Phil said.
The doorbell was still chiming away. She grew more panicked each passing second
"Short Man! It's yer little friend with the one eyebrow!"
"Helga?" Arnold asked.
She mentally sighed in relief. "WHAT IS YOUR COUSIN DOING HERE?!" She screamed.
"Arnie's at your house?!" Arnold replied, shocked.
"Yeah. He showed up with flowers and professed his love for me- Arnold, you've gotta do something!"
His eyes bulged. "He did what?!"
"I answered the door and he said he loved me! Help me!"
"What can I do?!" Arnold asked, panicking.
"He's your cousin!" She reminded.
"I'll come by and get him away from your house… ok?"
Helga heard the door creek open and horror gripped her senses.
"What's wrong? Helga? Helga?!" came the voice from the other line.
"He's in my house." She replied in terror. "I'm gonna jump out the window and head to Phoebe's."
"Helga, your room is on the third floor!" Arnold reminded.
"Fire escape." She said.
She heard the soft treading of feet on the stairs coming closer to her locked door.
"I gotta go Arnold- see you later!" She said, hanging up. As if her life depended on it, she flew down the fire escape.
Arnie stood at her door and knocked. He waited. He knocked again. This process was repeated 537 times. He counted.
Helga reached Phoebe's house disheveled and out of breath. She hadn't taken so much as a second to pause and catch her breath. She pounded on the door and thankfully Phoebe answered. The small girl gasped at the sight of her best friend.
"Oh my! Helga, What happened?!"
"…Ar… Arnie!" She managed.
"Come inside!" Phoebe demanded more than offered, ushering Helga into her home and offering a bottle of water.
"Thanks, Pheebs." Helga said upon catching her breath.
"Why are you so out of breath?"
"I ran nonstop to your place."
"From your house?!"
"Yeah." Helga affirmed.
"Why on Earth would you do that?!" Phoebe lectured.
"Arnie… he showed up at my house… said he love me…" She explained, still panting.
Phoebe looked as if someone had died.
"My thoughts exactly." Helga said.
"You're certainly not going back home tonight." Phoebe explained, narrowing her eyes.
Helga smiled. "What would I do without you, Pheebs?"
"You'd still be hiding from Arnie!"
Helga held her head in her hands, "What'd I do wrong?"
"It could be worse…" Phoebe tried to console her friend.
"Yeah? How?"
"… due to Murphy's Laws, technically it could be worse…" She tried.
Helga looked at her, a glance that said she didn't believe.
"Ok… so it couldn't be worse…you've still got me!" Phoebe smiled.
"You win, Pheebs." Helga sighed with a smile.
The doorbell to the Pataki residence rang again. It woke Miriam from her unconscious state on the floor. She carefully lumbered to her feet and twisted the knob open. She sighed with relief… it was that nice little blond boy from Helga's class.
"Hi… is Helga here?"
"Gee… I don't know. But there's a creepy kid who looks just like you… only a lot uglier… I think he's upstairs." Miriam tried. "Can you get him out of here?"
Arnold faked a smile. "Sure, Mrs. Pataki." He walked past her and up the stairs where he saw Arnie, hard at work at his monotonous ritual of knocking and waiting.
"Arnie…"
"Oh. Hi Arnold."
"Helga isn't here… she went to her grandmother's house." Arnold lied.
"Ok. Let's go." Arnie said, walking down the stairs.
As Arnold and Arnie walked past Mrs. Pataki, she simply observed, and muttered to herself, "I need a smoothie…"