It's the end of the war, and for one person there is absolutely nothing planned for his future. Duo Maxwell sat at his small table with only one chair in his small dirty home on L2. He had moved back here in hopes of finding something meaningful to do with his life. But as he sat there eating his stale bread with a small amount of butter, all he could think about is his failures. He was a nobody, he never got phone calls, no on ever came to visit him, he was alone.

Well Duo wasn't alone all the time. At night a lonely cobalt boy would occupy his dreams. Heero Yuy, his once fellow pilot who was now staying at one of the many estates Quatre had. From what he could find out, Trowa, Quatre and Wufei were all living there as well. Duo of course had been invited but he refused, saying he needed time to find himself. But as the days grew on, Duo felt himself wishing he would have taken up that offer, if only to see Heero.

His dreams were very real like. Duo would talk to Heero about there days, there feelings. But every morning Duo would wake up to the realization that they were dreams and only that. The conversations, even though they seemed so real, were all in his mind.

So here he was pondering his dreams while eating his poor mans breakfast. He was always hungry it seemed. But Duo couldn't afford more, and once again he scolded himself on his refusal to stay where he now knew he wanted to be. With Heero. Maybe it wasn't too late after all. Quatre sure wouldn't be less than happy to see him, but what of the others. They probably don't care too much for the joker who would annoy them once again with his wise crack jokes and comments. And there was nothing to say that Heero even thought once about Duo.

Duo sighed sitting up, he was really depressed lately, Heero had not been in his dreams as much. Maybe only two times a week where before it was ever night. He wondered what Heero was doing now. In thinking about him Duo wandered over to the couch and fell asleep with thoughts of meeting him again in his dreams.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Duo stood just outside a clearing of grass surrounded by trees. Inside the clearing stood Heero laying on his back looking at the pale blue sky. Duo was hesitant to go up to him for some reason he did not know. As he was about to step out of the trees to greet his dream friend, Heero said something that had Duo stop in his tracks.

"I want to die." From what Duo could see, a single tear ran down his right cheek as Heero closed his eyes. Duo's breath caught in his throat. He swallowed the lump in throat as he approached slowly.

"H-Heero?" It seemed he had startled him for Heero was on his feet in a defensive crouch glaring at Duo for a second before realizing who he was. His body then relaxed out of his crouch as he took in Duo standing there in front of him.

"Hello Duo." He said while sitting back down on the grass motioning for Duo to lay next to him.

"You didn't mean that did you?… About wanting to die?" Duo looked at his face searching for

signs that he knew he wouldn't find. Heero was always too well hidden behind his mask, but to his surprise Heero dropped his head and looked at the ground as if ashamed of himself.

"I just don't feel I am worth anything, I live my life doing the same things every day. Nothing is… meaningful anymore. I don't have the will to live anymore, I'm just tired of life." Duo eyes widened at what Heero had said.

::Heero would never think things like that would he? I must be going crazy to be dreaming of him being depressed::

Heero sighed before looking into Duo bright eyes. "And I think I'm really losing it, to be seeing you in my dreams all the time." Duo's eyes widened even more as he heard Heero saying he was just a dream.

::Could he really be dreaming the same thing as me? Us both talking to each other in our dreams? Not likely… probably just my hopes shaping my dream::

"Looks like were both crazy buddy, of course I know I've already lost it. But dreaming of you is what keeps me going, at least I never have those awful nightmares about the war anymore." Duo exclaimed while rising to his feet and stretching.

Heero looked at him puzzled for a moment until Duo began to speak again. "Why do you really want to die Heero?"

Duo saw Heero take a deep breath as if preparing for a long speech. "I hate myself, and I know everyone else must hate me too. Especially you, otherwise you would probably have stayed at the estate like the rest of the pilots. I was so cold to you, I never forgave myself for all the cruelty that I showed you." Duo felt tears in his eyes, this dream was just way to real, but deep down he felt Heero would never say those things in reality, but he wished it was true. He wanted him to look at Duo like he did in the dreams. "No one in the estate seems to like me much either, I'm just not cut out to peace time. All I am good for is combat and war. I'm nothing with out that." Heero looked at the ground tracing the rocks with his eyes. Duo could see an internal battle was going on inside his head.

"Heero, dying isn't going to solve anything, you just have to learn to cope. And find something to do, or something you want and go get it." Heero seemed to ponder Duo's words.

"I've already lost what I want." As Heero looked into his eyes Duo felt a shiver run down his spine.

"What did you lose?"

Heero's eyes softened and Duo could see the sadness inside of them. "You."

Duo felt his mouth drop and eyes widened, then he came to realize that this was only a dream.

::Not real, Not Real! Heero would never say something like that in real life::

"Th-Then why don't you just come and… visit or something… I mean you never even showed any interest in me or where I went."

"You wouldn't want to see me not after what I did to you."

*flashback*

"Ne, Heero what ya doin?" Duo bounded up behind Heero on his laptop placing his arms around Heero's neck trying to get a look at the screen. Heero jumped up and pushed Duo to the floor, hard. His eyes widened as he saw the look of hurt on Duo's face.

"Don't touch me." Heero said coolly as he stared back at his laptop which was now shut hiding his journal which he had been writing in. And at that moment he had been writing about Duo. His heart had nearly jumped out of him when Duo put his arms around him, and before he could think he had thrown Duo off. Now Duo lay on the floor looking at Heero with such sadness in his eyes. But he blinked and the sadness had disappeared replaced by Duo's almost too cheerful smile.

"Ah, Gomen! I just wanted to say… Goodbye." Duo looked down at the ground before continuing. "I'm not gonna stay with you guys at the estate, I think I'll take up salvaging in L2, that's where I used to live ya know, in case you forgot."

Heero did know, he knew more about Duo than the braided boy realized. But he never would admit it. He just didn't know how to.

Duo got up and walked to the door. He stood there staring at Heero as if waiting for him to say something, but Heero just stood there staring. Duo mock saluted him and with one last smile he shut the door and was gone from Heero's life. Standing in the middle of the now empty room, Heero felt his heart tighten and his stomach squeeze into a knot. He fell to the floor eyes wide, ::What have I done? I didn't even say goodbye. I. Didn't.::

*end flashback*

Duo knew what Heero was talking about. When Duo had left that day he had cried all the way to L2 on the shuttle. Nothing was worse than finding out that Heero really did hate him. The realization of it had made him stronger though, as days went by he began to almost forget about Heero. Until the dreams started happening.

Duo saw Heero look down and he was about to say something when his eyes widened and he put his hand on his stomach as if in pain.

"Heero!" Duo rushed to touch him but he disappeared before he could tell what happened.

~~~~~~~~~

Duo awoke sweating and panting on the couch. ::What is this feeling. Its like that wasn't just a dream, and Heero was really in pain.:: He had a sickening feeling in his stomach, and as he figured what it was he raced to the bathroom and leaned over the toilet emptying his breakfast into the bowl

::Something's not right, I shouldn't be getting so worked up about a dream, Heero isn't going to kill himself, he isn't, he is probably relaxing right now by Quatre's pool without even thinking of me::

Even as Duo tried to convince himself, the strange feeling in him wouldn't go away. ::Oh Heero I hope you don't do anything stupid!:: Duo walked over to his computer. ::Maybe I can find out something, anything that would put me at ease. He searched through files on Earth trying to locate anything on Heero. After about an hour or so he finally found a recent doctors prescription.

"Ah, Damnit!"