Duo looked at the copy of the prescription on the computer, it was a heavy sleeping pill. One that not many people use anymore because you could overdose easily.

"What the hell is Heero doing with Zerhtricycl." Zerhtricycl or Zp. was a drug made especially for the trips to colonies in shuttles that can take hours and days. It was almost stopped being used because many people were getting sick and some died on shuttles too far away from a hospital to get treatment for accidentally overdosing. ::Heero hasn't been going on shuttles, maybe he hasn't been able to sleep, but why would he chose this drug when there are others without the risk?::

Duo tapped his fingers on the keys of the computer a couple of times. His forehead was starting to crease as he worried what Heero was up to. ::God he better not be thinking of overdosing, but I guess if you didn't want anyone to find out your death was a suicide, then that would be the best way to go. Gah! what are you thinking about? Heero isn't the kind of person who would do that kind of thing. And even if he was thinking of suicide I'm sure Quatre would be able to tell.::

Suddenly Duo had an idea. "His laptop that's it! If I can somehow get into that maybe I can find out something more."

The next three hours Duo spent trying to get into Heero's laptop. "Hmmm… well at least I know he still HAS his laptop, not that he would ever get rid of it. But its gonna be hell getting past all his security." Duo scratched his head and started the long process of hacking into Heero's computer. ::Heh! If anyone can get into the perfect soldiers computer I can. Just you wait Heero!::

~~~~~~~~~~~

Heero sat at the dinning room table looking at his plate of food. Quatre was at the head of the table with Trowa to his left and Wufei to his right. Then there was about ten (Heero lost count) of Quatre's sisters between where he sat at the far corner of the table and where the three pilots sat. Right now he could here them laughing and talking about Quatre's latest business disaster. Of course he was not in the conversation. Ever since 'She' arrived.

"Heero! Nice day isn't it?" Heero internally groaned and turned his head to acknowledge the girl sitting next to him. She was one of Quatre's sisters, and she had come to be obsessed with Heero. He had found out that she had told Quarte that she liked him, so Quatre trying to be the 'good friend' was trying to hook Heero up with the said sister. Heero had no intention of liking her, Even if her voice was not as squeaky as Relena's. But all Quatre ended up doing was distancing Heero from his fellow ex pilots.

He sighed and looked at the girl with blond short bob hair and brown eyes. She was one of the few Winner's that had brown eyes. Most had blue so she told him. That wasn't the only thing 'she' told him, she seemed to love to talk. And every time she rambled on his chest started to hurt when reminded of another talkative person whom was far away.

He realized that she was waiting for an answer, so he quickly shoved his thoughts away. "No, I don't see this day as any different from the other days." She laughed at his response much to his annoyance. Finally after some more rambling she left him alone to talk with one of her other sisters.

He quickly picked up the food of his plate and dropped it under the table where the two family dogs were waiting. The small dogs were accustomed to Heero giving them his food and so were ready to devour the meal.

Heero looked back across the table at his once friends, he hadn't even talked to them in weeks. ::I wonder if they even know I am here?:: He got up and excused himself from the table turning to see that his "friends" didn't even know he was leaving.

::Well I guess I cant blame them, I don't deserve friends. All I am doing here is using up his money, Quatre would probably be glad to see me go. Well he wont have to worry about me much longer anyway.::

Heero walked up to his room on the other side of the estate. Stepping in he felt a chill of cold air from the window being left open. He didn't bother to get anything warmer on, or to even close the window. ::I don't deserve to be warm, not what after all I've done:: He walked over and sat down at his computer. A beeping noise caught his attention and his eyes widened. Someone had gotten into his files. Someone had hacked into HIS computer!

His breath quickened as he clicked on the beeping icon.

"SHIT!" Heero stared at the status bar telling what was opened recently. Someone had read his journal!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Duo was in. He had finally after hours of trying, got into Heero's laptop files. Though he was thrilled with his success he was soon shocked at what he found. It appeared Heero had a journal. Duo would have laugh at knowing that the perfect soldier had something like a diary if he was not worried about Heero's health. He looked at the dates of entries and decided to start at an entry a week earlier, he just wanted to make sure Heero was alright, not read into his personal thoughts too much.

As he started reading he gasped and put his hand over his mouth in shock. "Oh my god!" He quickly shut the program and began searching for the next shuttle to Earth. Duo closed his eyes for a minute thinking over what he had read.

Journal: Feb 15

Haven't slept for three days. For some reason when I lay down and think of the dreams I keep having, I don't want to fall asleep. I have no right to dream about him. Soon it will be over though.

Journal: Feb 16

Picked up prescription drug. Plan on hinting to Quatre that I am having sleeping problems so he doesn't suspect anything wrong with taking sleeping pills. Sat at dinning room table again and felt sick watching Quatre, Wufei, and Trowa down at the end of the table having fun. I am just a burden to them.

Didn't eat anything again today. Gave food to the dogs.

Journal: Feb 17

Had another dream , he was in it like all the others, we talked like usual. I hate them, why do they torture me so and taunt me with what I can not have. If only I hadn't been so stupid. I hate myself.

Journal: Feb 18

I plan on doing it in a couple of days. I have barely eaten this month. I seem really pale, nobody has noticed though, perhaps they don't want to notice. I just hope when I am gone that they will be happy.

Journal: Feb 19

Slept for an hour. Had dream again with him in it, woke up with stomach ach and had to throw up. Possible side effect of the drug. Calculated that it would take 4 pills. I plan on taking 6 pills two each hour two lessen chances that they will find out it was not an accident.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Heero stared at his computer for a half hour. ::What am I going to do? Who would hack into my computer? No one ordinary person could get in. Only person I know skilled enough would be…::

Heero began a search on his computer for any computer that was connected to his in the last couple of hours. About thirty minutes later he came across something. He had been able to trace the connection all the way to L2.

"The only person I know in L2 would be Duo… and he is the only one I know who could pull something like this off… SHIT!" Heero slammed his fists on the desk. "This is not good."

He closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. ::But why would Duo want to look into my personal files after all this time? I hope he doesn't figure anything out, I mean he could have looked at any of my journal files, doesn't mean he read any giving myself away. Shit, what am I thinking, even if he did read them he wouldn't care whether or not I kill myself.::

"I'll do it tomorrow." Heero closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he started the long process of deleting ever trace of himself that ever existed on his laptop.

::Delete files… ok… Delete all Journal entries…. ok…. done… Mission starts tomorrow::