Chapter 5...sorry this one is a little slow...I've been experiencing somewhat of a writer's block lately...hopefully it'll pass...I have big plans for this story..or atleast considerably large ones. Much thanks once again to everyone who gave reviews, you are all too kind! ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ChooChoo awoke in the middle of the night with a start, trying not to wake Fred and Brad, who were sleeping on either side of her. (at this point, the author of the story would like to mention that nobody really knows what events took place leading up to this moment,and is going to ask the readers not to 'assume' that anything went on between the aforementioned characters. Really people, get your minds out of the gutter!) ____________________________________________________________________________ ________________________ "Give me the prrrrrrecioussssssss," a voice hissed from out of nowhere. ____________________________________________________________________________ ________________________ "Who's there?" ChooChoo asked frantically, looking around. ____________________________________________________________________________ _________________________ Finally she spotted a dark silhouette standing in the corner. ____________________________________________________________________________ _________________________ "I musssst have the prrrreciousssss." ____________________________________________________________________________ __________________________ Brad and Fred were now awake and staring at the stranger. ____________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________ "Show yourself," ChooChoo said impatiently after ten full minutes of the stranger rambling about his 'prrrrreciousssss'. ____________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________ He stepped out of the darkness to reveal a man with long blond hair and pointy elf ears. "Legolas?" ChooChoo asked incredulously. ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________ He nodded. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________ "What the hell are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be fighting some Orcs in Middle Earth right about now? And wasn't that Gollum's catch phrase?" ____________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________ Legolas nodded again and spoke. "I have come for the prrrecioussss." ____________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________ He pointed at Brad. ChooChoo looked from him to Brad, and back to him again. "No, Legolas, you can't have Brad Pitt, he's my precious." ____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________ Legolas blinked a couple of times, then reached into his pocket for a ciggarette. "Got a light?" he asked ChooChoo. ____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________ She used her wand as a lighter. Legolas proceeded to smoke the ciggarette, pacing back and forth, occasionally mumbling and cursing to himself. "Shit, I still don't have a precious. What the hell am I going to do now?" ____________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________ "You could go over to Bob's room. There's a blond boy in there,and he's rather precious if you ask me," ChooChoo offered. ____________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________ Legolas looked at her thoughtfully. "How precious?" ____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________ "Very precious." ____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________ "Precious enough to be my precious?" ____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________ "Yes, definitely." ____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________ He smiled at her. "Thanks, Fred, I owe you one." ____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________ "Oh, my name isn't Fred anymore, it's ChooChoo." ____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________ "Well, thank you ChooChoo. Now, I must leave you. To Bob's room!" He yelled and pointed. ____________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________ He was gone in a flash, not bothering to use the door in his haste, but succeeding in making an elf-shaped hole in the wall. ____________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________ "Does he know where Bob's room is?" Fred asked ChooChoo. ____________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________ "Probably not." ____________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________ Ron woke up suddenly to find someone with long hair standing over him. "That you Hermione?" He mumbled sleepily. ____________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________ "Are you the precious?" A male voice asked. ____________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________ Ron sat up quickly and turned on a light. He took one look at Legolas and screamed. "Ahhhh! Elf in the Dormitory!" ____________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________ Legolas gave a shrill cry and ran away. ____________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________ Several minutes later ChooChoo, Brad, and Fred burst into the room. ____________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________ "What happened? We heard you scream." Fred asked his brother. ____________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________ "I woke up, and there was an elf standing over me, asking me if I was the precious!" ____________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________ "You screamed at Legolas? Why'd you do that?" ChooChoo asked. ____________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________ "Because he frightened me!" ____________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________ "You probably frightened him more." ____________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________ "Well he shouldn't go sneaking up on people like that." ____________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________ Bob woke up to the sound of someone bursting through the door. "Legolas? What the hell? It's three in the morning!" ____________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________ Legolas looked at his watch. "So it is...oh yeah, Fred...I mean ChooChoo, said you had my precious." ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________ "Ummm...I'm not quite following you buddy." ____________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________ "The precious, God Dammit!" ____________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________ "What precious? I don't understand." ____________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________ Legolas walked up to the right side of the bed, where Draco was still sleeping. He knelt down and examined his face. "Hmmm...she's right, he is extremely precious. He'll do. I'll be taking him now." ____________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________ "Wait...what? Taking him where?" ____________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________ Legolas sighed and pulled out another ciggarette. "Let me explain this to you. I need a precious, I wanted Brad Pitt, but apparantly he belongs to ChooChoo, so this boy will have to do." ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________ "You can't take him,that's illegal! And he's my precious!" ____________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________ "Ummm...no, he's my precious," Harry said from the other side of her. ____________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________ "Legolas...if you don't mind my asking, why do you need a 'precious'?" ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________ Legolas blinked a couple of times and scratched his head. "Well...Gollum gets a precious, so why can't I?" He whined. ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________ "Yes, well Gollum has a ring. You want a blonde male as your precious. Ooooh, I see. You're really gay and this is your way of coming out of the closet! Isn't it?" ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________ "God dammit! Shit! Frodo told me it wouldn't work. He said it would be easier to just come straight out like he did..." ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________ "Legolas, first of all your straying from the subject. Second, Frodo's gay, too?" ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________ "Oops...damn, he's gonna be so mad at me." ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________ "Well if you need a precious, and Frodo's gay, then why not Frodo?" ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________ "He's err...already taken. Besides, he's not my type. A bit too short... and his feet aren't pretty enough. Well I must be off now, I plan to roam the school in search of my precious...but first, I need a snack...To the kitchens!" ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________ "Don't forget to tickle the pear!" Harry mumbled sleepily. ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________ "So Bob, where do we go first?" ____________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________ "Dumbledore said to just follow Fred and George around, since we're in the same year, and you seem rather uhhh...'friendly' with them." ____________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________ "Yes that's it, just friendly, because teenage sex is BAD!" ChooChoo said very loudly, causing people around them to stare. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________ She turned to them all, "That's right, it's bad! But if you must, wrap it up, everytime!" ____________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________ "Well, now that you've succeeded in sounding like a cheesy condom commercial, I think we'd better be going." ____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________ Dumbledore approached them immediately as they stepped into the Great Hall. ____________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________ "There is an elf running around the school," he said flatly. "I saw him on my way to the bathroom last night, then I saw him on my way back, twice, going in the opposite direction. Finally, I saw him when I came down to breakfast...and I'm quite certain he stole my eggs and a piece of toast. Now I hate to assume anything, but I have a feeling this is somehow connected with you two." ____________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________ "Oh yeah...sorry about that. He's our friend, Legolas...and might I warn you, he can turn very violent when harassed," Bob explained. ____________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________ "Could you at least teach him to use a door? I'm tired of finding elf- shaped holes in the wall everywhere I turn." ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________ "Yeah he's just a...a little excited. That should wear off in a day or two." ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________ Dumbledore gave them a strange look and walked away. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________ "So where do we go first?" ChooChoo asked as she and Bob sat down next to Fred and George. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________ "Potions," Fred answered glumly. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________ "Ohhh...fun!" ChooChoo exclaimed. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________ "You find getting yelled at and being verbally abused fun?" George asked in confusion. ____________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________ ChooChoo giggled and was about to answer when a scream broke out from the other end of the table. ____________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________ "No, it's the crazy elfman again! Get him away from me!" ____________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________ Ron practically flew over to ChooChoo and hid behind her. ____________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________ "Umm...Ron, it's okay," she said, patting him on the head, "he doesn't bite. He might hump occasionally, but trust me, that doesn't hurt." ____________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________ Everybody stared at her except Bob, who was busy jellying a piece of toast. ____________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________ "I'm going to go back to my seat now, and try my hardest to pretend you didn't say that," Ron said, backing away from her. ____________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________ ChooChoo turned to Bob, "Did I say something wrong?" ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________ Bob shrugged, "Sounded okay to me." ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________ "You two really are crazy, aren't you?" George asked with a hint of admiration in his voice. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________ "Honestly, you people act like you've never been humped before," ChooChoo said in exasperation. ____________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________ They stared at her again. "No, thats errr...never happened," Fred replied slowly. ____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________ "Oh," ChooChoo looked crestfallen, "well don't worry, it'll happen eventually." ____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________ "I can't wait?" Fred offered questioningly. ____________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________ "I think we should go to class now," George said quickly. ____________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________ "Oober!" Bob and ChooChoo cried simultaneously. ____________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________ "Where?" Fred and George yelled, ducking and covering their heads. ____________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________ "Okay...how about I refrase that," ChooChoo said reluctantly, "we meant...NEATO!" ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ "Yeah...that was one of our words...nobody seems to understand it though," Bob explained sadly. ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________ "Cheer up groupie! We need the happy for lessons, remember?" ChooChoo asked. ____________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________ Bob giggled. "Hehehe yeah, this is going to be an interesting day. Well off we go." Exit stage left.( for lack of a better ending.) ____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________END OF CHAPTER. told you it was slow...and rather short. Oh well, next 1 will be better, I hope. It also occurred to me that I haven't put any disclaimers on this story, so I'm guessing I better do that now. DISCLAIMER:All Harry Potter related characters and ideas belong to J.K. Rowling. Legolas, Frodo, Gollum, and the precious belong to J.R.R Tolkien, and Brad Pitt,Steve (don't know last name), and Joe(Don't know last name either) belong to themselves. Bob, Fred/ChooChoo,The Blue Mango, and Professor Eric Wildmen belong to me. I think thats about it so bye bye.