DISCLAIMER: Certain phrases in this story belong to the creators of the
cartoon Invader Zim, All Harry Potter stuff belongs to J.K. Rowling, Brad
Pitt, Steve,Joe, Bob, and ChooChoo belong to themselves. Blue belongs to
the creator(s?) of Blue's Clues. Review please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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They walked into Dumbledore's office. He began without preamble. "You broke
Snape. You made him cry," at this Bob started to giggle. He turned on her.
"You think this is funny?"
___________________________________________________________________________
She choked back the laughs and tried to respond, "No...well...yes,"
she finally cried, and laughed wildly.
___________________________________________________________________________
She dropped to the floor and began rocking back and forth,
occasionally wiping the tears from her face. ChooChoo slowly kicked Bob
behind her and out of view. "Don't mind her, the gremlins are tickling from
the inside again."
___________________________________________________________________________
"The er...gremlins?"
___________________________________________________________________________
"You know, the tiny little fellows that hide inside your tummy?
Sometimes they come out to poke you in the eye," ChooChoo added.
___________________________________________________________________________
"Oh yes! Nasty little things they are! But back to the subject. I
don't think you two realize the severity of this situation. I have called
Professor Snape to my office, he will be here any minute. I want you both
to apologize to him."
___________________________________________________________________________
As if on cue, there was a knock on the door.
___________________________________________________________________________
"Come in," Dumbledore commanded.
___________________________________________________________________________
Snape entered, his eyes bloodshot, and carrying a box of tissues.
"You didn't say they would be here!" he cried angrily and jumped behind
Dumbledore.
___________________________________________________________________________
"Calm down Severus, they are here to apologize. It's all right, they
won't hurt you, just stand right over here where they can see you."
___________________________________________________________________________
Snape cautiously moved forward a bit. ___________________________________________________________________________ "We're ummm...sorry and stuff...because we really didn't mean to make you cry," ChooChoo started. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Yes," Bob said, crawling into a kneeling position and eventually standing up. ___________________________________________________________________________ "The pants made us do it!" ChooChoo yelled suddenly, not able to resist any longer. ___________________________________________________________________________ "What?" Dumbledore and Snape said at the same time. ___________________________________________________________________________ "It was the pants," she explained, "the pants command us!" ___________________________________________________________________________ "As much as I hate to add to this insanity, might I point out that neither of you are even wearing pants? You're both wearing skirts," Dumbledore replied calmly. ___________________________________________________________________________ "No, not our pants, his pants," Bob pointed to Snape. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Yeah, they're really amazing pants, they can speak in five different languages," ChooChoo added. ___________________________________________________________________________ "My pants talked to you?" Snape asked, momentarily intrigued. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Yes, they said kill...but that didn't sound very nice, and we told them so." ___________________________________________________________________________ "And then they were like 'oh, well just eat some nachos instead, then.' So we did." ___________________________________________________________________________ "Yes, I'm afraid to say it, but I think your pants might be evil," ChooChoo finished. ___________________________________________________________________________ A look of fear came into Snape's eyes, "My...my pants are e...evil?" He stuttered. ___________________________________________________________________________ "You two will end this now! He is unstable enough! Quit telling him that he has evil pants!" Dumbledore commanded. ___________________________________________________________________________ "I have evil pants!!" Snape suddenly screamed. "Get them off me! I don't wanna die!" he ripped the pants off and ran out of the room. ___________________________________________________________________________ "That's funny," ChooChoo commented. ___________________________________________________________________________ "What?" Bob asked. ___________________________________________________________________________ "I never pictured him as a tighty whities kind of guy." they both started to giggle. ___________________________________________________________________________ Professor McGonagall entered the room, looking extremely confused. "What's going on? Snape just ran down the hall pantless and crazed." ___________________________________________________________________________ Dumbledore turned to her,a resigned look on his face, "Hold me." ___________________________________________________________________________ She awkwardly patted him on the back as he began to sob freely. ____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ Fred and George came running up to Bob and ChooChoo as soon as they had left Dumbledore's office. ___________________________________________________________________________ "We would just like to say..." Fred started. ___________________________________________________________________________ "That we are extremely proud of you," George finished. ___________________________________________________________________________ "You two have managed to cause destruction and chaos around every corner of this school in two days. We have been trying for seven years. We will worship you both until our dieing days...okay maybe not, but we really admire your work." ___________________________________________________________________________ They walked to the great hall where a massive food fight was going on. Ron stood atop the Gryffindor table, holding a yellow plastic baseball bat as if it were a sword. He had a shield in the other hand, and streaks of tribal face paints in bright shades of red and blue adorned his nose, cheeks, and forehead. An overly large football helmet topped his head. ___________________________________________________________________________ "The war between elves and wizards rests solely in my hands. I shall conquer all!" He cried madly. ___________________________________________________________________________ Suddenly a foam Nerf arrow came soaring through the air to land straight between his eyes, mainly because had it been a real arrow, Ron would be dead, and certain people reading this might kill us. Ron stumbled on dramatically for a few paces before landing face first into a bowl of mashed potatoes. He didn't get up. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Ron! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Harry cried in the classic slow motion deep voice, throwing himself on top of his best friend, pushing his head further into the bowl. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Somebody should pull Harry off, before Ron drowns," ChooChoo commented. ___________________________________________________________________________ Fred finally pryed Harry away, and George turned Ron around, who gasped for breath. His face was covered in mashed potatos, his tribal streaks were smeared, and the Nerf arrow still stuck to his head. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Oh, the horror!" Harry screamed, covering his face with his hands. ___________________________________________________________________________ Ron wiped his face and ripped the arrow from his head. He held it up to his nose and sniffed, "This tool of Lucifer...it reeks of Elf! I shall have my revenge!" With a shrill Indian battle cry he bounded off for the other side of the room. ___________________________________________________________________________ Up at the staff table, the teachers were in a panic. Snape was twitching madly, wearing a pair of floral shorts he had stolen from Madam Pomfrey, and Dumbledore jumped at any sudden noise. McGonagall approached them. "Why don't you two go down to the lake and relax, you aren't helping this situation anyway. It will be very soothing, and you two need to calm down." ___________________________________________________________________________ Dumbledore and Snape left as McGonagall proceeded to restrain all the flying food. ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Bob and ChooChoo decided to leave the foodfight, and roam the school while the teachers were busy containing the mess. They eventually ended up on one of the towers. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Hey, ChooChoo, what's that?" Bob pointed to something on the ground below. ___________________________________________________________________________ It was pink and about ten feet in diameter. ___________________________________________________________________________ "I think its a..a...a whoopee cushion...a really big one!" ___________________________________________________________________________ Bob giggled, "Lets jump on it!" ___________________________________________________________________________ ChooChoo looked worried, "But it's waaay down there." ___________________________________________________________________________ Bob shrugged, "It's big enough." ___________________________________________________________________________ "Okay!" ___________________________________________________________________________ They walked to the edge of the tower and jumped. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...." ___________________________________________________________________________ They both gasped for breath as they continued to fall, "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..." ___________________________________________________________________________ Bob started to worry, because ChooChoo slowly began to deviate from the target. Bob hit the cushion, which made an extremely loud farting noise. Fortunately for ChooChoo, she was placed perfectly in front of the opening, so that the immense force of air blasted her back up again, and off toward the lake. ____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ Dumbledore and Snape were sitting in lounge chairs by the lake, sipping on apple juice with little pink umbrellas in them. ___________________________________________________________________________ Dumbledore sighed. "I believe Minerva was right, a bit of relaxation was just what we needed." ___________________________________________________________________________ "Yes, and these shorts match very well with these little umbrellas...do you hear something?" ___________________________________________________________________________ A faint buzzing sound was coming from somewhere in the distance. It turned into a human voice "oooooooooooooooooooooooooo..." ___________________________________________________________________________ The two professors shielded their eyes from the sun to get a better look. The voice belonged to none other than ChooChoo, who appeared to be flying, arms out in front of her. They would have moved had they thought there was anytime to spare, but ChooChoo got closer and closer, and soon her foot grazed the top of Dumbledore's head before she made a splashing dive into the water in front of them, soaking everyone in the vicinity. ___________________________________________________________________________ Her head quickly emerged from the water, and she gasped for breath, "That was a hoot! Let's try it again!" ___________________________________________________________________________ Dumbledore and Snape simply got up and walked away. ChooChoo got up and ran to the place where she had last seen Bob. The whoopee cushion was now completely deflated, but Bob was nowhere in sight. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Bob? Bob, where are you?" ___________________________________________________________________________ Suddenly, a hand shot up through one of the folds. " Over here!" came a muffled voice from underneath. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Oh no! Bob's drowning in the whoopee cushion! Don't worry, I'll save you!" ChooChoo cried as she leapt toward the hand. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Ow, get off me!" ___________________________________________________________________________ "Oops, sorry." ___________________________________________________________________________ Steve came running up to them. "No! you found it!" ___________________________________________________________________________ "Ummm...Steve, this is yours?" ___________________________________________________________________________ He nodded. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Explain later, help me get Bob out." ___________________________________________________________________________ They dug through the layers of rubber and finally managed to free her. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Now, how did you come across this monstrosity?" ___________________________________________________________________________ "Well...you know those stick thingies that everyone always carries around?" ___________________________________________________________________________
"Yeah...by the way, we know you stole Dumbledore's." ___________________________________________________________________________ "Ummm... yes, well...I discovered that they're more than just sticks. They do rather odd things actually. So I found this little whoopee cushion, and poked it with the stick, and it got all big. I tried to hide it in those bushes, but it was too big. So then I tried to paint it green, but I ran out of paint, so then I just ran away." ___________________________________________________________________________ "Sweet," Choochoo commended him. ___________________________________________________________________________ As they walked back to the castle, they began a conversation. ___________________________________________________________________________ "I've been having alot of fun the past two days, wreaking havoc on perfect strangers and all, but I miss my show. I wonder what Blue is doing right now?" Steve said almost wistfully as they walked through the door. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Hey Elfman! Still tormenting Ron?" Bob questioned. ___________________________________________________________________________ "I am not tormenting him! He started the war!" Legolas practically shouted. ___________________________________________________________________________ They were interrupted by a flash of blue. They looked after it, not finding anything, but when they turned back to Legolas, he had a bright blue pawprint on his forehead. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Oh oh oh!" Bob and ChooChoo exclaimed excitedly, "Is it time to play Blue's Clues?" They stopped ubrubtly, looking disturbed, "There's an animated blue dog running loose in the school!" ___________________________________________________________________________ They ran away screaming. Meanwhile, Steve pulled out his Handy-Dandy Notebook and began to draw a portrait of Legolas.____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ______END OF CHAPTER!!!
Snape cautiously moved forward a bit. ___________________________________________________________________________ "We're ummm...sorry and stuff...because we really didn't mean to make you cry," ChooChoo started. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Yes," Bob said, crawling into a kneeling position and eventually standing up. ___________________________________________________________________________ "The pants made us do it!" ChooChoo yelled suddenly, not able to resist any longer. ___________________________________________________________________________ "What?" Dumbledore and Snape said at the same time. ___________________________________________________________________________ "It was the pants," she explained, "the pants command us!" ___________________________________________________________________________ "As much as I hate to add to this insanity, might I point out that neither of you are even wearing pants? You're both wearing skirts," Dumbledore replied calmly. ___________________________________________________________________________ "No, not our pants, his pants," Bob pointed to Snape. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Yeah, they're really amazing pants, they can speak in five different languages," ChooChoo added. ___________________________________________________________________________ "My pants talked to you?" Snape asked, momentarily intrigued. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Yes, they said kill...but that didn't sound very nice, and we told them so." ___________________________________________________________________________ "And then they were like 'oh, well just eat some nachos instead, then.' So we did." ___________________________________________________________________________ "Yes, I'm afraid to say it, but I think your pants might be evil," ChooChoo finished. ___________________________________________________________________________ A look of fear came into Snape's eyes, "My...my pants are e...evil?" He stuttered. ___________________________________________________________________________ "You two will end this now! He is unstable enough! Quit telling him that he has evil pants!" Dumbledore commanded. ___________________________________________________________________________ "I have evil pants!!" Snape suddenly screamed. "Get them off me! I don't wanna die!" he ripped the pants off and ran out of the room. ___________________________________________________________________________ "That's funny," ChooChoo commented. ___________________________________________________________________________ "What?" Bob asked. ___________________________________________________________________________ "I never pictured him as a tighty whities kind of guy." they both started to giggle. ___________________________________________________________________________ Professor McGonagall entered the room, looking extremely confused. "What's going on? Snape just ran down the hall pantless and crazed." ___________________________________________________________________________ Dumbledore turned to her,a resigned look on his face, "Hold me." ___________________________________________________________________________ She awkwardly patted him on the back as he began to sob freely. ____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ Fred and George came running up to Bob and ChooChoo as soon as they had left Dumbledore's office. ___________________________________________________________________________ "We would just like to say..." Fred started. ___________________________________________________________________________ "That we are extremely proud of you," George finished. ___________________________________________________________________________ "You two have managed to cause destruction and chaos around every corner of this school in two days. We have been trying for seven years. We will worship you both until our dieing days...okay maybe not, but we really admire your work." ___________________________________________________________________________ They walked to the great hall where a massive food fight was going on. Ron stood atop the Gryffindor table, holding a yellow plastic baseball bat as if it were a sword. He had a shield in the other hand, and streaks of tribal face paints in bright shades of red and blue adorned his nose, cheeks, and forehead. An overly large football helmet topped his head. ___________________________________________________________________________ "The war between elves and wizards rests solely in my hands. I shall conquer all!" He cried madly. ___________________________________________________________________________ Suddenly a foam Nerf arrow came soaring through the air to land straight between his eyes, mainly because had it been a real arrow, Ron would be dead, and certain people reading this might kill us. Ron stumbled on dramatically for a few paces before landing face first into a bowl of mashed potatoes. He didn't get up. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Ron! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Harry cried in the classic slow motion deep voice, throwing himself on top of his best friend, pushing his head further into the bowl. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Somebody should pull Harry off, before Ron drowns," ChooChoo commented. ___________________________________________________________________________ Fred finally pryed Harry away, and George turned Ron around, who gasped for breath. His face was covered in mashed potatos, his tribal streaks were smeared, and the Nerf arrow still stuck to his head. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Oh, the horror!" Harry screamed, covering his face with his hands. ___________________________________________________________________________ Ron wiped his face and ripped the arrow from his head. He held it up to his nose and sniffed, "This tool of Lucifer...it reeks of Elf! I shall have my revenge!" With a shrill Indian battle cry he bounded off for the other side of the room. ___________________________________________________________________________ Up at the staff table, the teachers were in a panic. Snape was twitching madly, wearing a pair of floral shorts he had stolen from Madam Pomfrey, and Dumbledore jumped at any sudden noise. McGonagall approached them. "Why don't you two go down to the lake and relax, you aren't helping this situation anyway. It will be very soothing, and you two need to calm down." ___________________________________________________________________________ Dumbledore and Snape left as McGonagall proceeded to restrain all the flying food. ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Bob and ChooChoo decided to leave the foodfight, and roam the school while the teachers were busy containing the mess. They eventually ended up on one of the towers. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Hey, ChooChoo, what's that?" Bob pointed to something on the ground below. ___________________________________________________________________________ It was pink and about ten feet in diameter. ___________________________________________________________________________ "I think its a..a...a whoopee cushion...a really big one!" ___________________________________________________________________________ Bob giggled, "Lets jump on it!" ___________________________________________________________________________ ChooChoo looked worried, "But it's waaay down there." ___________________________________________________________________________ Bob shrugged, "It's big enough." ___________________________________________________________________________ "Okay!" ___________________________________________________________________________ They walked to the edge of the tower and jumped. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...." ___________________________________________________________________________ They both gasped for breath as they continued to fall, "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..." ___________________________________________________________________________ Bob started to worry, because ChooChoo slowly began to deviate from the target. Bob hit the cushion, which made an extremely loud farting noise. Fortunately for ChooChoo, she was placed perfectly in front of the opening, so that the immense force of air blasted her back up again, and off toward the lake. ____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ Dumbledore and Snape were sitting in lounge chairs by the lake, sipping on apple juice with little pink umbrellas in them. ___________________________________________________________________________ Dumbledore sighed. "I believe Minerva was right, a bit of relaxation was just what we needed." ___________________________________________________________________________ "Yes, and these shorts match very well with these little umbrellas...do you hear something?" ___________________________________________________________________________ A faint buzzing sound was coming from somewhere in the distance. It turned into a human voice "oooooooooooooooooooooooooo..." ___________________________________________________________________________ The two professors shielded their eyes from the sun to get a better look. The voice belonged to none other than ChooChoo, who appeared to be flying, arms out in front of her. They would have moved had they thought there was anytime to spare, but ChooChoo got closer and closer, and soon her foot grazed the top of Dumbledore's head before she made a splashing dive into the water in front of them, soaking everyone in the vicinity. ___________________________________________________________________________ Her head quickly emerged from the water, and she gasped for breath, "That was a hoot! Let's try it again!" ___________________________________________________________________________ Dumbledore and Snape simply got up and walked away. ChooChoo got up and ran to the place where she had last seen Bob. The whoopee cushion was now completely deflated, but Bob was nowhere in sight. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Bob? Bob, where are you?" ___________________________________________________________________________ Suddenly, a hand shot up through one of the folds. " Over here!" came a muffled voice from underneath. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Oh no! Bob's drowning in the whoopee cushion! Don't worry, I'll save you!" ChooChoo cried as she leapt toward the hand. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Ow, get off me!" ___________________________________________________________________________ "Oops, sorry." ___________________________________________________________________________ Steve came running up to them. "No! you found it!" ___________________________________________________________________________ "Ummm...Steve, this is yours?" ___________________________________________________________________________ He nodded. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Explain later, help me get Bob out." ___________________________________________________________________________ They dug through the layers of rubber and finally managed to free her. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Now, how did you come across this monstrosity?" ___________________________________________________________________________ "Well...you know those stick thingies that everyone always carries around?" ___________________________________________________________________________
"Yeah...by the way, we know you stole Dumbledore's." ___________________________________________________________________________ "Ummm... yes, well...I discovered that they're more than just sticks. They do rather odd things actually. So I found this little whoopee cushion, and poked it with the stick, and it got all big. I tried to hide it in those bushes, but it was too big. So then I tried to paint it green, but I ran out of paint, so then I just ran away." ___________________________________________________________________________ "Sweet," Choochoo commended him. ___________________________________________________________________________ As they walked back to the castle, they began a conversation. ___________________________________________________________________________ "I've been having alot of fun the past two days, wreaking havoc on perfect strangers and all, but I miss my show. I wonder what Blue is doing right now?" Steve said almost wistfully as they walked through the door. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Hey Elfman! Still tormenting Ron?" Bob questioned. ___________________________________________________________________________ "I am not tormenting him! He started the war!" Legolas practically shouted. ___________________________________________________________________________ They were interrupted by a flash of blue. They looked after it, not finding anything, but when they turned back to Legolas, he had a bright blue pawprint on his forehead. ___________________________________________________________________________ "Oh oh oh!" Bob and ChooChoo exclaimed excitedly, "Is it time to play Blue's Clues?" They stopped ubrubtly, looking disturbed, "There's an animated blue dog running loose in the school!" ___________________________________________________________________________ They ran away screaming. Meanwhile, Steve pulled out his Handy-Dandy Notebook and began to draw a portrait of Legolas.____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ______END OF CHAPTER!!!