DISCLAIMER: Bob and Fred own only the concept of this story, themselves, Eric Wildmen, and The Blue Mango. No house elves were harmed during the making of this chapter. ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ __________"It's this big pink thing," Joe said, holding up Patrick from Spongebob Squarepants. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ "Hey put me down!" Patrick said. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Joe screeched and threw him across the room, "Ahhhh! It's alive!" ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Steve pulled out his Handy-Dandy Notebook and sprinted over to Patrick, who was plastered against the wall. He knelt down to examine him close up. "Ew, he sure is ugly!" ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ "I resent that! I'll have you know..." Patrick trailed off and started to drool. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ "Steve, Steve, we have all three clues, you know what that means, right?" Joe exclaimed. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Steve grinned, "Yep, it's time for our..." ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ "Thinking chair!" Brad shouted, and began to struggle with Dumbledore for his wand, finally wrenching it out of his grasp. "Accio Thinking Chair!" ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ A big chair came floating over to him from somewhere unknown. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ "Brad, how did you learn to do that?" ChooChoo questioned suspiciously. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ He shrugged, "Well, I figured since I'd have all this free time here, I might as well learn something. So, I sat in on a few classes. She didn't seem to mind," he concluded, pointing to Professor McGonagall, who turned a deep shade of red and immediately shifted her gaze to the floor. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ He flopped into the humongous chair, along with Joe and Steve. All three of them had heads propped in hands, in the classic thinking position. Steve spoke first as everyone watched silently. "Now, what could Blue be doing that involves Legolas, Ron, and Patrick?" ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ The three poorly drawn images of the clues popped out of the notebook and began to dance around above their heads. "Ron and Legolas are currently waging war on each other, but where's the connection with Patrick?" Joe asked, looking confused. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ They all turned to Patrick. "Whats so special about you?" Steve questioned. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ "I'm Spongebob's sidekick!" Patrick cried proudly. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ "That's it!" Brad yelled suddenly, startling everyone. "She's someone's sidekick! But who's? It has to be either Ron or Legolas..." ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ At that moment none other than Blue herself leapt onto the scene, coming to a screeching halt in front of Ron. He petted her knowingly. "So you've finally figured it out? How clever. Yes, she's been helping me prepare for the battle. Together, we have raised an army so formidable that to gaze upon it with your very eyes will bring fiery destruction and turmoil. Behold, our MINIONS!" With a sweep of his hand, the crowd parted, and a group of menacing first years filed through, carrying nerf crossbows and looking severely brainwashed. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Ron laughed madly, "All of Elf descent shall fear and bow before me!" his voice suddenly turned deep. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Black smoke began to swirl around, encasing everyone is darkness. A lightening bolt flashed, and there was a yelp of pain. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ "Watch it!" Harry cried, looking somewhere backstage. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ "Sorry!" cried a random special effects guy, frantically pushing buttons. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Legolas appeared suddenly, out of nowhere, bathed in an erie glowing light. "Your army is impressive, young wizard. But don't think I haven't come unprepared," He clapped his hands, and the entire house elf population of Hogwarts came to his bidding. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Ron stood quietly for a moment, assessing the situation. Finally he raised his wand, "CHARGE!" he screamed, as he, Blue, and the first years raced forward. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ What ensued was the messiest, and most bizarre battle ever witnessed by the likes of Hogwarts students and staff as rubber and foam arrows soared in every direction, random acts of cheesing occurred without warning, and innocent bystandards fell victim to bites from both first years and house elfs. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Bob and ChooChoo tried to stop the madness, but there feeble cries went unheard above the roar of a full fledged war. Finally fed up, ChooChoo pointed her wand at her throat, and whispered, "Sonorous," with that her voice bellowed above the crowd, commanding silence, "FREEZE!" ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Time seemed to freeze in a literal sense,as people stopped to stare at her. Even the arrows flying through the air halted, as if being held up by invisible strings. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ "You all should be ashamed of yourselves, fighting like this! Honestly, do you even remember what you're fighting for? We gain neither knowledge from war, nor enlightenment, only the guilty satisfaction that we have harmed another life. Do you all want to look back on your lives one day and be ashamed, or proud? It shouldn't matter whether we are Elf, Wizard, or even muggle for that matter. Can't we all just get along, and love one another?" she finished, looking proud. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ There wasn't a dry eye in the castle. Unfortunately, that was due to the fact that she hadn't taken the spell off yet, and the tears were ones of pain from earaches. Frustrated, she pointed the wand at her throat again, "Finite Incantatum." ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ "Well, what do you all have to say for yourselves?" She asked in a normal voice. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Ron and Legolas looked at each other. "I'm sorry!" They both cried at the same time and embraced one another. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Everyone followed suit, house elves hugging first years, teachers hugging students, and Brad and Joe hugging each other. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ After stepping back from a tight bear-hug with Dumbledore, Steve spoke. "Well, I guess there's only one thing left to do," at this he began singing, "Now it's time for so long..." ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Bob, ChooChoo, Joe, and Brad joined in, "But we'll sing just one more song..." ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Now the enitire school had joined in, because they all somehow magically knew the words, "Thanks for doin your part, you sure are smart! You know with me and you, and my dog Blue, we can do, anything...that we wanna do!" ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ The song ended with everyone holding hands and swaying back and forth. They suddenly let go and Ron looked around, "Hey, where's Hermione?" ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ As the crowd quieted down, a faint yelling could be heard from outside. They all ran out to the Titanic, where Hermione had joined Krum at the front of the ship. Ron cupped his hands to his mouth, "HERMIONE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ She looked at him a moment, "I'M FLYING JACK, I'M FLYING!" she spread her arms out wide on either side of her and leaned against the railing. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ "AND I'M THE KING OF THE VOOOOOORLD!" Krum added, putting his hands on her waist. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ "HEY, GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY WOMAN!" Ron cried angrily. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Krum stuck his tongue out in a very childish manner. Legolas put his hand on Ron's arm, catching his attention "Shall we attack him together, Mr. Freckles?" ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ "Sure thing, Mr. Elfman!" Ron grinned and they ran toward the ship. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Bob and ChooChoo heard screams of terror from Krum as they turned and walked away. Steve approached them. "You know, I've had fun here, but I think I'd like to go back home now." ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Joe came up behind them, followed by Brad, "Yeah, we worked out a deal...all three of us will be on Blue's Clues now!" ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ "And I'm getting a divorce!" Brad added, looking extremely happy. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ "Errr...why is that a good thing?" ChooChoo asked confusedly. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ "Because, I'm going to live with Joe now!" ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ "Oh, right...I'm very happy for you. We'll talk to Dumbledore about getting you three out of here." ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ "You mean you're not coming with us?" ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Bob and ChooChoo looked around at the castle, and all the new friends they had made. "No, we like it here. Besides, I've found my soulmates," ChooChoo added, gesturing to Fred and George. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Bob laughed, "Yeah, and uhh...I'm quite content to shag Harry and Draco. Don't worry, we'll come visit over Christmas" ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ ChooChoo began to sniffle, "This means I'll be giving up my pr...prr...precious!" ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ She and Brad hugged and began to cry. Everyone else rolled their eyes. "Come on Brad, we have to go," Steve whined. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ "I don't wanna!" ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Joe sighed and pulled out the spray bottle, holding it inches away from them, "Alright, we're going to do this slowly. Let go on three...one...two...three." ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ They stepped away from each other quickly. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Brad turned to Joe and Steve. "Well, lets be off then, shall we?" They nodded and walked off into the sunset to cheesy cowboy/adventure music. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Five minutes later they returned, because they had no idea which direction to go in. Bob and ChooChoo programmed the Blue Mango on a course heading for home, and the three were off again, this time for good. ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ __________ AFTERWORD: Brad divorced Jennifer Aniston and now resides in a cozy little apartment with Joe when they are not busy filming Blue's Clues with Steve. After getting shot down by the newly available Jennier Aniston, Steve turned to Malfoy's mom for comfort, and they keep a low profile relationship. Bob and ChooChoo remain at Hogwarts where they are striving to further their magical education and continue to wreak havoc whenever possible, with the help of Fred and George of course. They have also started a new trend among young people, in three-way relationships.ChooChoo, Fred and George, and Bob, Harry, and Draco are now the two hottest three-way couples at Hogwarts. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Hermione returned to Ron after being rescued from the Titanic by him and the newest partner in their relationship, Legolas. Viktor Krum remains atop the highest astronomy tower where he is forced to watch Wormtail dressed in drag singing Karaoke to various Britney Spears songs every hour, on the hour. All the cartoons returned to their respective t.v. networks, except for Towley, who was too moist and disoriented to find his way home. He now leads a bitter life at the bottom of the lake where he plays servant to the merpeople. The Titanic sank back into the murky depths from which it came after being attacked by dozens of radio-active badgers with razor sharp teeth, or possibly a bunch of pissed off Hufflepuffs who once again got left out of the story. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ The Blue Mango leads a happy carefree life escorting Brad Pitt around town as he sings his song to it. ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ __________ AUTHOR'S NOTES: Some of you have expressed concerns that Draco wasn't in this story nearly enough, and Bob and I feel exactly the same way, which is why we're giving you this, so enjoy.(Dun dun da da! Top secret scene that didn't make it into the actual story. Ya, and it's not so top secret anymore either.)***As the population of Hogwarts sat down to lunch, they were interrupted by Draco, who jumped on top of the Slytherin table and began to dance. Music from somewhere in the backround begins to play, and he sings along. "I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts!" At this he ripped off his shirt to numerous high pitched screams from the female part of the audience. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ Pansy and Blaise fainted, and the others gazed on in longing and wonder. Draco continued on valiantly, "I'm, too sexy for my leather pants, too sexy for my leather pants, I...uhhh...I don't know the words. Oh hell," He tried to rip off his pants only to fail miserably. ____________________________________________________________________________ _____ "NOOOOOOO! THE LEATHER, IT'S TOO TIGHT!"_____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ _________________ ***END!*** There you have it my friends, the conclusion to Harry Potter, Blue's Clues style. Did you all like the ending, or did you hate it? Feel free to tell us, the little review button is right down there *points to little review button* Anyways, Bob and I are extremely sad that this adventure is over, and we were hoping to go for a sequel. What does everyone think, yes, no? Have any ideas? once again with the review button. Thank you all for reading this fanfiction, and we hope it was as fun for you to read it as it was for us to write it. Thanks and much love!