10: Roomies
Almost overnight a change went over Irvine and Zell. Whenever I saw Irvine, his face would break out into a smile. Well, I mean, that happened before, but now I could almost feel his excitement. He was glad to see me, really and truly glad. As for Zell, his behavior was completely out of character. It was like he developed a sudden shyness of me. All it took for him to start blushing was a smile. I tried to tell him how sorry I was but he always changed the subject. I would prefer Zell to act like his old self. Irvine, now… that's another story. I kind of like how he smiles at me now. The best part is that he's not being hounded by his little fan club anymore.
Seifer became like my older brother. I deeply considered going with him; it would be easier than saying "no" to Zell yet again. But then that would mean saying it to Irvine. Oh, I was in such a bad situation! Seifer was my only guy friend I could go to and talk about my problems. I couldn't talk to Irvine or Zell for obvious reasons and Squall just wasn't the best person to talk to about anything. Oh, I forgot about Nida. I guess it just didn't occur to me to talk to him about all this mess. He would probably say something like "I wouldn't know what to do, either". The more I thought about going with Seifer, the better that idea sounded. Maybe I should, I thought. But then my brain would start screaming Irvine! Irvine! Irvine! and I would have to think some more.
It was with these thoughts swimming through my skull that I came upon a crowd of people forming a circle. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I could tell from the noise that a fight was going on. My heart leapt in fear; I desperately prayed that it wasn't the posse. I searched the crowd for someone I knew. Seifer's white coat stood out against everyone else's uniforms. I pushed past people, apologizing along the way. Elbows knocked into my side, heels dug into my toes, and voices yelled in my ears. Someone pushed me roughly and I stumbled right into Seifer.
"Selphie?"
"Yikes! I feel like a sardine!" I gasped. I straightened my uniform. "What's going on here?" Seifer sighed, shaking his head wearily.
"Zell's gone overboard again."
"Is he hurting any of the posse?"
"Better show you," he grunted. Without warning he bent down and positioned one of his arms below my legs and the other behind my back.
"H-hey, what're you doing?" I demanded. He effortlessly hoisted me up in the air and put me on his shoulders. He held my legs so I wouldn't fall off. I felt kind of silly being up there but I soon got over it and concentrated on the scene before me. I gasped and would've tipped over if Seifer didn't steady me.
Zell and Irvine were standing in the center of the circle the crowd had made. Zell was standing, anyway. Irvine was on the ground, lying on his side. His hat was nowhere to be seen. Both of them had taken off their coats; the articles were flung on the ground and had been forgotten by their owners. Zell wasn't wearing gloves and I could see specks of blood on his bare knuckles. Irvine bore fresh bruises on his face and blood was gently running out of his nose. Zell had a black eye forming and I could see a little blood at the corner of his mouth.
"Put me down!" I insisted. "I've got to stop this!" Where was Squall? He could've stopped this! What good was being a commander if he didn't do his job? Seifer put his hands under my armpits and gently returned me to the earth.
"I don't suggest it, Sellie. When Squall tried to break them up, Zell slugged him right in the face. The guy broke Squall's jaw!" It was strange to hear my old pet name coming from him. I looked at Seifer and saw that he was genuinely concerned about me. I was so touched I wanted to give him a hug. There was unfortunately no time for that, so I took a rain check and promised myself I'd hug him the next chance I had. Right now I have to talk some sense into Zell.
"Zell will listen to me. I know he will." Seifer seemed reluctant about letting me go, but he knew better than to stand in my way. I pushed through the rest of the crowd and walked over to Zell. Everyone took in a collective gasp and they started talking among themselves. Zell glanced over at me and turned pale. Irvine gingerly pushed himself to a sitting position and offered me a weak smile. I stood before Zell with my hands on my hips. "Just what do you think you're doing?"
"Uh…" Zell had the same look on his face that he had whenever an instructor caught him at doing something wrong.
"Come on, Zell. I see plain as day that you and Irvine had a disagreement. I want to know what's going on." Zell's eyes darted around the room in search of an excuse. He spread his arms out wide and grinned innocently.
"Boys will be boys, hehehe."
"That doesn't work anymore, Zell. Try again."
"Uh…" Zell pointed his finger accusingly at Irvine. "He started it!" Irvine shook his head, his eyes desperately trying to convey his innocence.
"Zell Dincht!" I scolded. "Tell me what happened right now!"
"I punched him and he punched me back," answered Zell blankly. "Then I started really beating him up and he refused to fight back. It was my fault and I'm sorry." I clicked my tongue.
"What am I going to do with you boys? You've been roommates ever since Irvine came to the Garden. You should be able to get along by now." Zell crossed his arms and chose to remain silent. I went over to Irvine and studied his bruises. "Can you stand up?" He nodded and slowly got to his feet. I helped steady him until he was fully erect.
"Thanks, Selphie," he smiled. Now that the fight was over, the crowd scattered. Only the posse remained.
"Need any help?" Raijin offered.
"I think we'll manage," I answered. One look at Zell told me he wasn't in the mood for company. Seifer and Raijin retrieved the discarded jackets and returned them to their owners. Zell grabbed his jacket from Raijin and didn't even mutter a "thank-you".
"WAIT HERE," Fujin said. I assumed she was talking to the guys; they snorted but obeyed her order. I gently directed Irvine to the infirmary, Zell following behind. I could hear his feet scuffling the ground. I could hear him cursing under his breath.
"Selphie, dahlin, you never cease to amaze me," Irvine spoke up.
"And you never cease to amaze me," I returned. "What started this whole mess, anyway?" The two roommates didn't say anything. "Well?"
"Nothing. He just did something to piss me off, is all," Zell grunted.
" 'Just did something to piss you off'?" I mimicked. "That's so stupid." We came to the infirmary. I could already see Squall lying on one of the beds, bandages wrapped around his jaw. Rinoa sat by his side. Dr. Kadowaki didn't act very surprised at Irvine and Zell's bruises. She ushered them to two unoccupied beds and set to work cleaning them up without asking for an explanation.
"The fight is over. Thank goodness," Rinoa sighed. "I'm glad they didn't kill each other."
"Were you worried about us?" Zell asked.
"Worried that you'd both be dead." Zell laughed. Irvine rolled his eyes and wiped at the blood that was running out of his nose. Squall tapped Rinoa on her arm. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment. Rinoa turned back to us, a smile playing on her lips. "Squall says that you guys are irresponsible."
"You can read his thoughts?" I awed. Rinoa shrugged modestly.
"More or less." Cool. I hope Irvine and I have that kind of connection some day. Squall looked over at Zell. He pointed to the fighter, then drew his finger across his throat. Zell's eyes grew wide and he swallowed nervously. "Squall says…"
"I know what that means!" Zell interrupted. Rinoa chuckled playfully. I helped Dr. Kadowaki administer to the roommates. Zell grew nervous when I went over to him. I put a bag of ice over his black eye and cleaned the blood off his knuckles. Irvine was beginning to look like a mummy; his face was covered in bandages. Zell couldn't stop laughing at him. I pinched his arm and gave him a stern look.
"Behave, Zell!" I hissed.
"Yes, ma'am," he replied sarcastically.
"You both look ridiculous," Rinoa chuckled. "Now you see that fighting each other is pointless?" Zell shrugged his shoulders and Irvine nodded his head. I sat by Irvine's bed and discreetly covered his hand with mine. He noticed the gesture and smiled at me. It's been a long time since Rinoa and I talked. Maybe she can help me with my problems.
"Rinoa, I have a question for you." I studied the sorceress' face. Her black hair spilled down her back like an ebony waterfall. Her eyes stared back at me, questioning.
"I'll do my best to answer."
"Well…" I paused, forming the words in my mind. I lifted my hand away from Irvine's and clasped it in my other hand. "A good friend of mine has had two guys ask her to the Festival and she can't decide who to go with." I used the old "friend of mine" trick. I didn't want Zell and Irvine to know it was really me with the problem. Zell sat up and leaned forward. There was an eagerness on his face that made me a little uneasy. Yikes! Does he know it's me? Rinoa considered the dilemma for a moment.
"Which one does she want to go with?"
"That's the problem: she wants to go with both of them, but she knows she can't do that. She doesn't want to hurt either of them by rejecting them." Rinoa's brow wrinkled. She frowned; this made her look very cute.
"That does sound like a hard decision. I would suggest going with whichever one of them asked her first, but it's really up to her." Go with whichever one of them asked me first? That would be Zell.
"But what if she really wants to go with the other guy, but she's afraid she'll hurt the first guy's feelings?"
"Hell, that's no contest! Tell her to go with the guy she wants to go with!" Zell shouted. "I mean, if she really wants to go with this one dude, she should do it! That other guy would understand." I couldn't believe those words came out of his mouth. Wasn't he the one that couldn't understand that I wanted to go with Irvine? Irvine glared at Zell.
"You're one to talk. You got all upset 'cause Selphie wants to go to the Festival with me instead of you." Uh, oh. They figured it out. Zell returned the glare.
"Yeah? Well, I asked her first!"
"But she wants to go with me! Didn't you say just a second ago that the other gal should go with whoever she wants to? Well, what's so different about Selphie?" Zell opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. I was watching the scene, my body quivering with tears aching to come out.
"Well… well… she's the only one that accepted me!" Zell sputtered. "So she should go with me!"
"She wants to go with me, you ass!"
"You're the ass!"
"No, you are!" Both of them were on their feet by now and I was afraid they were going to start punching each other again.
"You two better behave yourselves," Rinoa warned, holding up her hands to calm them. "We don't want you guys in here longer than necessary."
"Well, if he wasn't such an ass, I wouldn't have punched him in his cocky face!" Zell snapped.
"And if you didn't mind your own damn business, neither of us would be here right now!" Irvine retorted. They shot daggers at each other. Then the volcano erupted and they started shouting. I could barely make out what they were saying, and maybe that was a good thing. I covered my ears but still their voices rang in my head. Hot tears stung my cheeks.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" I shrieked. The noise died down at once. My friends stared at me, their mouths hanging open in shock (all except for Squall, of course). "I'm not going with either of you if you're going to act this way!" This declaration was followed by dead silence. Tears continued to spill out of my eyes. "Just for your information, that friend I was talking about is me!" Zell chocked and sank back down to a sitting position. Irvine slowly followed suit. "I want to go with Irvine but Zell made me feel bad about rejecting him before. You're just making it harder by fighting each other!" My ragged breaths stung my ears in the silence.
"I'm sorry, dahlin," Irvine said. "Why didn't you say somethin' before?"
"Because I knew you'd start fighting. I guess there was no avoiding it, regardless," I answered. Rinoa stood up and handed me a handkerchief. "Thank you." I cleaned off the tears and wadded the handkerchief into a ball.
"I'm really sorry, dahlin," Irvine repeated.
"Go with Irvine, Sellie. He's the guy you want," Zell suggested, his voice sounding lifeless.
"I don't know what to do," I admitted. I sat on the ground and hugged myself. My body ached to feel Irvine's arms around me.
_____
Hyne help me. I feel so lost. I ache for Irvine, but there's another side of me that doesn't want to hurt Zell. What should I do? They're both so dear to me. I know that it doesn't matter who I go with; it's not the Festival that's bothering me. Give me strength. I'll definitely need it in the days to come.
Bless my friends, dear Hyne. Watch over Seifer, Fujin, and Raijin. I pray that they'll all have a great time at the Festival. I hope that Seifer finds a nice girl to go with him, because he deserves some happiness after all he's gone through. Hyne, please help Zell forgive the posse for their past actions. Help the Garden to accept them as Irvine and I have done. Watch over them and make sure they don't get into any more trouble.
I pray that the Festival will be a success. We've worked really hard on it. I hope that Nida has a good time with Quistis. I can' t believe how thrilled he is to have her as his date. Please help us sell the rest of the tickets. Also watch over my friend Oonagh and Walter Oren. I can tell that Oonagh cares a great deal for the instructor; I pray that he takes good care of her and doesn't do anything to hurt her. I pray all this in Hyne's name, amen.