19: Heart Troubles

The next day was Saturday, so we were allowed to sleep in. I don't think anyone would've woken up on time if it was a week day, but it was nice to know we were allowed to sleep in. That being said, I slept in until about nine in the morning. I was too excited about the events of the day before to do any serious sleeping. All my friends had special people in their lives now, and I was going on a date with Irvine. I had no reason not to be happy! The fact that it was a Saturday only made my good mood better. I literally skipped all the way to the cafeteria.

The place was practically empty. Well, really, it almost was empty. There were a few cooks mulling about, and one person sitting at a table. I recognized the person and ran over to him. He was slouching over the table and he didn't seem to notice I was even there. I plopped down in a chair and mimicked his stance. He was wearing his usual "uniform" and his hair looked a little more disheveled than usual. After a few minutes of sitting like this he finally took notice of me.

"Oh. You're up early."

"So're you," I returned. He wasn't wearing his usual grin. Something was wrong. "Hey, what's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"Zell, did anyone tell you how horrible you are at lying?" He snorted and continued to stare into oblivion. "Tell me what's the matter! I can't stand it when you're not happy."

"I don't want to talk about it. Especially with you." I pouted.

"Why not?"

"Just go away."

"Don't be a Squall! Tell me what's bugging you!" He's acting weird again. I wonder what's wrong? I waited for a while but he didn't speak again. "Okay, if I guess what's wrong, will you talk to me?"

"I guess so," he mumbled.

"Is it about me?"

"No."

"Is it about Viktorija?"

"No."

"Is it about a girl?" Zell stared at me for a moment, then smiled.

"Yes."

"Woo-hoo! I got it right!" I cheered. His smile widened. "And look! I got you to smile too! Okay, so it's about a girl…" I grinned in triumph. "You've got a crush on someone!" His face turned red.

"Uh… yeah…"

"Oh, Zell, that's so cool!" I grinned, giving him a hug. "Who is she? Is she nice? Do I know her? How long's this been going on?"

"One at a time, one at a time!" he chuckled, waving his hands for me to stop.

"Sorry," I smiled meekly. "Okay, first of all, who is she?" Zell's smile dropped like an anchor.

"I can't tell you."

"Huh? Why not?" I whined.

"Because you'll tell her."

"No, I won't. I swear! Please tell me!" I tugged on his arm insistently.

"You'll tell her, I know you will!"

"I won't!" I promised. "Hey, when Oonagh told me she liked Walter, I didn't breathe a word about it to anybody." The sad look on Zell's face shut me up. "You can't be… serious."

"It's Oonagh," he confirmed sadly. I was blown away. I gaped at him, shook my head, and gaped at him again. I tried to grope for words.

"Really? But… wait a minute… then… why didn't you say something?"

"Because, she and Walter are perfect for each other, that's why!" He slammed his fist down on the table, creating a small crack in the structure. "I wanted to go with her to the Festival, but Walter asked her first. So then I asked you. I just had to go with someone, Selphie. I didn't want to look like a loser." He sighed and rubbed the crack with his index finger. "But I am a loser. I liked Oonagh, I really did, and I let her go." I honestly didn't know how to react to this.

"Zell… The way you were acting, I thought it was me you liked."

"You?" Zell repeated. He chuckled lightly. "Don't take this the wrong way, Sellie, but I love you like a sister. I guess I was just so down about Oonagh that the whole mess with you just made it worse. Sorry if it made you uncomfortable." He continued to rub his finger over the crack. "You won't tell her, will you?"

"No. I won't."

"Thanks." He smiled and got up from the table.

"Hey, Zell? What are you going to do?"

"What can I do?" he asked, shrugging his shoulders helplessly. "She's with Walter now. He's a great guy and I can tell she really likes him."

"So… you're just going to give up?" I demanded, getting to my feet as well.

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Get her back, stupid!"

"I told you I can't! She's with Walter!"

"Zell," I said gently, "you never used to just give up. You can't start now. Not with something this important."

"She's your best friend, Selphie. Why are you encouraging me to break her up with a guy she seems to really like?" Zell questioned.

"Because you're my friend too. You and her are my very best friends. I want you both to be happy. I know Oonagh likes Walter now, but she used to like you. If there's a way my two best friends can be together, I'm going to find it!" I declared boldly. Zell shook his head, smiling in amusement.

"Selphie, you truly are one-of-a-kind."

"I know it!"

_____

Just when I thought everything was going along fine, I find out Zell has a crush on Oonagh again! I needed more information from him. What had caused them to break up? How long had he been secretly liking her? Did he stop liking her for a while or did he always like her and she just didn't know it? I was excited and a little scared too. Walter and Oonagh really were cute together and it seemed such a shame to break them up, even if it was to secure Zell's happiness. I was in quite a situation. If it went one way, Zell would be crushed, and if it went the other way, Walter would be crushed. Not to mention what Oonagh would think!

"Oh, man, oh, man! This is crazy!"

"What is?" I nearly jumped out of my skin. Irvine! I spun around. The posse (which now included Angel and Jake) had somehow come up behind me without making a noise. I buried my head in Irvine's chest. He gently stroked my hair. "Ssh. It's all right now, dahlin'."

"What's wrong, Sellie?" Seifer asked.

"I can't tell!" I whimpered. "I promised Zell I wouldn't."

"Zell again?" Irvine complained.

"Again?" Jake frowned.

"Yeah. He's always layin' his troubles on poor Selphie." Irvine lifted my head and kissed me soothingly. "What's he done to you this time?"

"Nothing. He didn't do anything to me. There's just something troubling him and I want to help, but I don't know how."

"Selphie, you have such a kind heart," Fujin smiled. I took note that she was using her "other" voice. She's trusting more people now. That's good.

"Whatever it is, it'll be kept inside the posse, ya know? We're good about keeping secrets, ya know?" I sighed wearily. It hadn't been ten minutes since I learned Zell's secret and already I was tempted to blurt it out. Raijin was right, though. I was safe talking to the posse about the problem. Besides, I had only technically promised not to tell Oonagh.

"Okay, here's the thing: I just learned from Zell that he still likes Oonagh. The only problem is that Walter is dating her. I want to do something to help Zell but I don't know how to help without hurting someone." They were all quiet as they thought this over.

"I knew about the Oonagh thing," Irvine spoke up. "I mean, I've been roomin' with the guy for a little over two months. It was kinda obvious, but I didn't say anything."

"Hey, that's right!" I gasped, grabbing his arm excitedly. "You're his roommate, so you know him the best! You can help!"

"Wait a second! What about our date?"

"We can do that any time at all!" I assured him. "We've got all day! It's not like you were planning on some romantic dinner or anything." He smiled sheepishly and nodded his head. "Fujin can help me talk to Oonagh. Angel doesn't know either of them too well, but I think she can tag along with me and Fujin anyway. Raijin can help with Zell, and Seifer and Jake will talk to Walter."

"Wait, Selphie!" Raijin shouted. "What is this, a sniper attack? I don't think we should all rush into this, ya know?"

"He's right," Angel agreed. "I don't know the situation as well as the rest of you, but I think it would be best if it's just you and Irvine that take care of this." The others added their agreement. I had to admit that she was right. Irvine and I were the best people to take care of this, being Zell's closest friends and all.

"Okay," I conceded. "It'll just be me and Irvine. But Angel, I think you should get to know Oonagh anyway. Just in case." She sighed and assured me she would.

_____

Before Irvine and I started on our campaign to help Zell with his problems, we went on our very first "real date". Dating Irvine is a lot like being friends with Irvine. I guess the only big difference is that I could feel his love for me. It's really cool, knowing that someone loves you. For our first date I tried to teach him that random dance Seifer and I did during the Festival. The only problem was I couldn't remember any of the steps. So we ended up making up an entirely new dance. We called it "Irvine and Selphie's random dance". It was a great time and I was glad Irvine and I could still have fun.

We got down to business pretty fast and compiled a list of things we already knew about our roommates, then compared them. We hoped that with these lists we would be able to either hook up Zell and Oonagh, or at the least help Zell feel better about Oonagh being with Walter. I knew this was a serious matter, but I couldn't help but chuckle over some of the things Irvine had put down on his list. It looked something like this:

1: Zell likes hotdogs

2: Zell is a fighter

3: Zell doesn't like Seifer

4: Zell has a hot temper

5: Zell likes Oonagh

6: Zell hates libraries

7: Zell has a big mouth

8: Zell only knows how to waltz

9: Zell hasn't visited his mother 'cause of this Oonagh stuff

10: Zell sings

11: Zell has all these notes Oonagh wrote him hidden in his pillowcase

12: Zell puts his socks on my bed

I think you get the idea. Only a few of these I found interesting while I think the rest were either just obvious or complaints Irvine put down on paper. I was intrigued by the notes hidden in his pillowcase. I would have to ask Oonagh about those later. The thing about Zell hating libraries I had always suspected; that was why I wondered how he and Oonagh grew to like each other. It just didn't seem to fit. My list for Oonagh was kind of silly too. It looked like this:

1: Oonagh's crazy about Walter Oren

2: She's read almost every book in the library

3: She's usually very sophisticated

4: Her favorite color is purple

5: She used to like Zell

6: She's a pacifist

7: She's usually quiet and keeps to herself

8: She's very polite

9: She's always on time

10: She only acts silly around me (or Zell, I guess)

11: She wants to be an Instructor

12: She can calm Zell down (according to Zell)

And so on. These two lists we contrasted instead of compared. There wasn't much similarity between them, other than the fact that they both liked each other at one point. Maybe it'd be better if we just figure out a way for Zell to let her go, I thought. I dismissed the idea at once. No way! I'm not giving up! I said I was going to find a way to bring them together and, by golly, I'm going to do it!

"We need more information than this!" I decided. "No matter what path we take, we've got to know more before we take it. Let's go talk to Zell."

"You think he'll talk to us?"

"If he doesn't, we'll just bug him until he does!" Irvine laughed and together we set out to find Zell.

_____

We first thought to look in Zell's room. It was a good thing we did, because that's where he was. He was punching the air and didn't notice us right away. Unlike the last time I was in the room, the place was disorderly. Irvine's jacket was lying on the table and other articles of clothing were scattered on the floor. Zell noticed us at last and greeted us with a broad grin.

"Hey! What's happening, you guys?"

"Zell, we need to talk," Irvine said. He shoved off a pile of clothes from a chair and sat down. I grabbed a stool and sat down near him. Zell sighed and also took a seat.

"What do you want?"

"We're here to talk about you an' Oonagh." Zell turned pale. He looked away and crossed his arms.

"Don't wanna."

"Zell, if we're going to help you, we need more information," I told him. "Like, how did you and Oonagh first get together? When did you break up? How long have you liked her? That kind of thing."

"I told you, I don't want to do this!" Zell snapped. "She's happy with Walter! End of story!" He cut his hands through the air for emphasis.

"Zell…!" I protested.

"No! Both of you, get out! I don't want you to bother about this any more!" He began forcibly shoving us out of the room. I dug my heels into the floor but he was a whole lot stronger than me. "Go on a date together or something and leave me alone!"

"We're just tryin' to help," Irvine defended.

"You can help by leaving me alone for a while!"

"What about Oonagh?" I demanded. "Don't you care about her?" Zell paused and stared at me sadly.

"Of course I do."

"Then do something about it, you big dork!"

"I am!" He paused again. I had never seen him look so sad. "I'm doing her a big favor by just being her friend. You don't know; she probably never told you. I was awful to her. I was so scared that I would mess up, so I never really showed her how much I cared. I'm all wrong for her. She's better off without me." He got us out with a final push and shut the door behind us.

"Zell!" I tried to open the door but it was locked. "Zell! Open the door!"

"Go away!" he retorted, his voice sounding thick.

"Zell, are you crying?"

"None of your business! Now, please leave me alone."

"Open this damn door!" Irvine shouted, slamming his fist on the frame. This time Zell didn't say anything. "Zell, you've gotta let me in sooner or later!" Irvine cursed and rattled the doorknob. "Open the damn door, Zell, or else I'll blast a hole through it!" I put my hand on his shoulder and he calmed down. There was silence again. I could hear sobs coming from inside. Poor Zell. He really does care about Oonagh. Why is he doing this to himself? I glanced at Irvine helplessly.

"What do we do now?"