20: Questions

I'll admit that I was pretty down. I mean, my best guy friend in the world was letting go of the one girl that might possibly make him happy. The worst part about the situation was that my best girlfriend was this one girl that could make him happy, and she was already happy with another guy! AAARGH! I just know I'm going to get a premature gray hair over this! I wanted to do something, to help in some way, but Zell was being so stubborn! Why didn't he want us to help him? I mean, it was obvious to Irvine and I that he really cared about Oonagh. So why was he going to make himself miserable by not doing his best to get her back? I know, I know. She's with a great guy. But… but… Zell's a great guy too! I just don't know what to do!

"Nida, I just don't know what to do!" I whined, grabbing onto his arm.

"Study."

"What?"

"For the exam," he explained. "You should study." I blinked in confusion.

"What exam?" He cringed.

"The exam that we're taking Monday."

"Oh." Gee, I must've forgotten about that. "Well, that's not what I was talking about. I was talking about something else!"

"On a crusade to bring two more people together?" he smiled.

"How'd you know?"

"It's you, Sellie. You seem to have a knack for helping everyone out and allowing no time for yourself." He figured me out pretty fast. "Whatever this new trouble is, why don't you let it be? You put far too much responsibility on your shoulders. I think you should relax and enjoy your time with Irvine."

"I can't do that!" I protested. "I just can't stand around knowing that someone's purposefully losing their chance at true happiness!" Nida chuckled and gave me a quick hug.

"Sellie, please give yourself a day off from being everyone's Love Doctor, or whatever it is you do. If not for your own good, then because I'm asking you to. Please?"

"Oh, okay," I sighed.

"And you should probably study for that exam while you're at it," he added.

"Yikes! You're right! See ya!" I waved and jetted towards the library. In all that had happened recently, the scheduled exam just flew right out of my head. I'd have to cram like no tomorrow if I hoped to make a passing grade. I slowed down just before I reached the library entrance. I'm usually sensitive when it comes to rules like that. I walked inside and spotted Oonagh reading in a corner. I quietly clapped my hands and joined her. She looked up and smiled.

"Hey, Miss Petite. What brings you here?"

"I forgot I had an exam on Monday!" I confessed. She quietly chuckled.

"I suppose you want me to help you."

"Please do!"

"Honestly! You and Zell are so lazy!" She clicked her tongue in annoyance. Her mentioning Zell reminded me of why I had been so stressed out. But Nida asked me to take a day off from that stuff. Well, I could at least ask her a few questions. There was nothing wrong with that! I tried to think of an opening that wouldn't be too suspicious.

"I didn't know you used to help Zell study."

"How else do you think we met?"

"But Zell hates libraries!" I hissed. Oonagh smiled secretly and winked at me.

"Yes, I know. He told me that seeing all those books made him dizzy. He used to pretend to have a seizure every time I told him to study, just to get out of it." She smiled at the memory. I chuckled. That's Zell! She shook her head to clear her thoughts. "He doesn't ask me for help any more. Now I only have you to tutor."

"Oonagh," I began, idly kicking my feet back and forth, "what exactly made you start liking Zell in the first place?"

"Oh, I don't know. I first thought he was cute. When I got to know him better, I found he had a personality quite unlike my own. I suppose it was his zealous nature that drew me to him…" She trailed off and her eyes were glazed over. She quickly recovered.

"So, ah… what made you stop liking him?" She stared at me, eyeing me inquisitively.

"Why are you asking me about Zell?"

"Well, I never got the whole story. That whole episode was before we got to be good friends." That sounded good enough. I didn't want her to suspect I had any ulterior motives.

"Please don't tell Walter, but… I never really stopped liking him." I think I did about a triple-take.

"Say what?" She blushed and began fidgeting with her hands.

"I never stopped liking him."

"So what happened? How'd it end with you two?"

"Remember when you came back to Garden after defeating Ultimecia and you were doing that film?" I nodded, grinning at the memory. "He and I were in the cafeteria. He was trying to set a new record for hotdog eating, and you caught him almost chocking. Well, I was right there beside him and he didn't even know I was there. Not at all." She paused. I saw a tear escape her eye. "That's when I figured it out: he didn't really like me. He just allowed me to be with him because he didn't want to hurt my feelings." I wanted to protest, to tell her she was wrong, but the time just wasn't right for that.

"So you broke it off with him? Didn't he feel sad about that?"

"There was nothing to break off!" she declared. "We weren't really dating, you know? And after I 'broke it off', for lack of a better phrase, I avoided him for a week. I have no idea what he thought about it." She took a deep shuttering breath. I let her sit alone in silence for a moment.

"Sometimes you can think someone doesn't care about you, but they're really just scared. Scared to show a weakness, to show that they care, scared that they might mess up. It's a shame that being afraid can hurt so many people." That held true for all the guys I knew. Irvine was scared, Zell was scared, and even Squall and Seifer were scared. I admit that love can be very scary. You can be broken so easily, but if you find love and it works out, it's well worth it.

"What… are you talking about?"

"Nothing! Uh, I was just remembering how Irvine was scared to ask me out. He really liked me; he was just scared." I smiled brightly. Would it do any good to tell you how much Zell cares about you? Would it matter at all? Would it change anything? I sighed. Nida was right. I put far too much responsibility on my shoulders. But when my friends need help, I can't just ignore them!

"I suppose that's true for some people…" I had to bite my tongue as hard as I could to not say anything. "You won't tell Walter, will you?"

"No, of course not. But Oonagh, why are you with Walter if you like Zell?"

"Because Walter cares about me. He loves me, and always drops whatever it is he's doing when I'm with him. I can't say that was true about Zell." I almost had to shove my fist in my mouth. I was aching to blurt it all out. He was scared! I screamed mentally. He was scared, Oonagh! He cares, he really does! I wish you knew how much he cares for you! He was just so scared. He didn't know what to do. I wish I could tell you! I felt on the verge of tears.

"You and Zell are friends now, though, right?"

"More like acquaintances than friends. I do want to be friends with him again but he has been acting strange lately. Do you think he's still upset about the posse?"

"I don't know. He's been ignoring me. He locked Irvine out of his room."

"He didn't!"

"He did!"

"That Zell!" she sighed, shaking her head. "I thought I broke him of that habit. He used to lock Konnor out all the time."

"Huh? Who's Konnor?" I asked.

"An old roommate Zell had before he became a SeeD. I'm surprised Zell hasn't mentioned him to you. Konnor was like his older brother." Maybe he doesn't mention Konnor because it reminds him of when he was with Oonagh? Who knows what goes through that guy's head?

"He doesn't tell me every little thing, silly!"

"I'm sure he doesn't." I was about to ask what she meant when she broke through my words. "That's enough talk about Zell, I think. It's time to study." She shoved a book in my face.

"No, not that!" I cried. "Maybe I should fake a seizure like Zell!"

"I think not. That's his move. You can't touch it." She gave me a stern gaze, daring me to oppose her. I laughed and obediently began to study. I only halfway paid attention to the words. Inside I had another problem stewing in my head. Zell liked Oonagh and Oonagh liked Zell, but they didn't know that. How was I going to help get them together without them finding out? This test would be a whole lot harder to pass than the one I was studying for.