Tainted Vengeance

By: Sara Angeldust

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Chapter 6:

"Part Of Me"

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Disclaimer:

The characters Nikolas, Sara Vida, Christopher, and the creation of this world of vampires belongs to Amelia Atwater-Rhodes, not me. Although these things are not mine, the characters Raven, and Vailor and the story plot are. The use of them are mine and mine alone, that is unless you beg and plead with me for their use. Muhahahahahaha.ok anywho, I don't even know why I'm writing this disclaimer again. I'm just stalling cause at the moment I have NO IDEA how I'm going to start this chapter. *sigh* ok I'm gunna go think now.

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"Here Is Gone"

Goo Goo Dolls

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You and I got something,

But it's all and then it's nothing to me,

Yeah,

'An I got my defenses,

When it comes to your intentions for me,

Yeah,

And we wake up in the break down,

Of the things we never thought we could be,

Yeah,

I'm not the one who broke you,

I'm not the one you should fear,

Well you got to move you darling,

I thought I lost you somewhere,

But you were never really,

Ever there at all,

And I want you,

Yeah free

Talk to me,

I can feel you falling,

And I wanted to be,

All you need,

Somehow here is gone,

(Instrumental)

I am no solution,

To the sound of this pollution in me,

Yeah,

And I was not the answers,

So forget you ever thought it was ever me,

Yeah,

I'm not the one who broke you

And I want you,

Yeah free

Talk to me,

I can feel you falling,

And I wanted to be,

All you need,

Somehow here is gone,

An I don't need the fall out

Of all the past that's in between us

And I'm not holding on

I know your lies weren't,

Enough to keep me here,

And I want you,

Yeah free

Talk to me,

I can feel you falling,

And I wanted to be,

All you need,

Somehow here is gone,

Yeah,

And I want you,

Yeah free

Talk to me,

I can feel you falling,

And I wanted to be,

All you need,

I know it's out there,

I know it's out there,

I can feel you falling,

Yeah,

I know it's out there,

I know it's out there,

Somehow here is gone,

Yeah,

I know it's out there,

I know it's out there,

Somehow here is gone,

Yeah,

***********

The streets of Nikolas's territory stared at him with laughter. The dark sky loomed over his head like a stalker. The sounds of the night filled his ears and made him want to hurl. Everything that had once made him feel good and alive filled him with disgust and hatred. Everything he had ever worked for and lived through was slipping from him and he felt weak again. How could just one little flicker of an emotion make him slip so far?

Nikolas stared at his feet and listened to the soft tap of his shoes hitting the ground. He tuned his ears to the light sounds of the night as they floated on the wind to meet him. The tingle on his right hand still hadn't gone away and the memory of Raven so destroyed and helpless floated in his head. How could just one girl, one shifter, make his hand shake and his head spin? Nikolas had felt love once. He had known once the feelings that now seemed so distant from his memories. Could all this be because he cared for her? If so, he had never experienced such strong and pure emotions before. His body shook with it and his eyes couldn't focus. He hated feelings like his prey, so defeated, worn and weak.

Thoughts of the vampire Vailor filled his head and replaced his defeat with a strong hatred. Nikolas couldn't explain why he felt so much hatred towards the vampire. Vailor seemed a lot like he himself had been and still was. Ruthless and strong. Although Vailor's strength wasn't because he had any pure power but that his age made him seem far stronger then he actually was. Nikolas calculated him to be 4 thousand at the youngest to 6 thousand at the oldest. Ancient compared to Nikolas but not as old as some vampires he knew.

And yet Vailor gave off a definite aura of being weaker then Nikolas. He had so easily defeated him the night before that it baffled him. How could a vampire who had once been so powerful and feared become nothing more then a weak bully. Nikolas laughed lightly. He had answered the question himself with the memories of what he and Christopher had gone through. Vampires who were truly weak fell in and out of power easily. It was only the truly powerful and strong vampires that stayed legends.

As Nikolas rounded the corner of a closed store he couldn't help but notice a girl walking down the opposite sidewalk. She looked to be in her early 20's and wore all black. The streets that occupied Nikolas's territory were known as bad places to all humans. Girls found dead on the streets with strange marks on their necks were a common occurrence and missing people were just seen as another average thing. The people that lived in or around the area were usually those who had ran away from their former lives, either looking for death or knowing what lurked in the shadows.

Nikolas slowed his motions to walk undetected behind the girl at a safe distance. Thoughts of Raven swam through his head as he stalked his prey. Even when he was hunting he still thought of her. He couldn't believe it but he guessed deep down he did care for the shifter. How he was ever going to accept it was beyond him. For now he would drown his emotions in hunting and think of the damned shifter later.

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Raven clung to the edge of sleep as the rays of day gave way to the blackness of night. Memories again flooded her mind and pushed her against the edge of her sanity. Why couldn't she just forget about that stupid vampire named Vailor. Probably because he was the one who had made her like this and was the cause of all her sorrows and pains. Raven tried turn over onto her back but the wounds from the night before were still ever apparent to her body. Determined not to let the pain beat her she forced her body to move. Every muscle in her body screamed as she rolled over onto her back. A groan of pain escaped her mouth as she finally rested still aching on her back. Tears began to roll down her cheeks as she looked up at the ceiling.

Damn vampires, Raven thought as she painfully rose her arm up to wipe away the tears.

Is this what I've been reduced to because of them? A worthless piece of crying snot?

Aww, what's the matter? Is the baby still in pain? Raven shot up in her bed as the voice rang through her head like a bell. Where was he? As she looked around the room she saw no one. The shadows against the wall seemed to dance as if teasing her, hiding the foe she wished she could see.

Can't find me can you? Raven fought every muscle in her body to rise out of the bed and stand. She moved her head left and right and listened for the one sound that would give the vampire away.

Where in the hell are you Vailor? Raven growled. She was in no mood to play his little games.

Sit down you wounded moth. I'm not in the room. Remember you're blood bonded to me. I could be in Antarctica and still communicate with you.

Raven relaxed. He was right. Although he had never used the privilege before, he could communicate with Raven anytime anywhere. The thought of being on a string like that made her blood curdle. Angrily she sat down next to the bed.

What do you want Vailor. I'm tired of listening to your rants and romps into my past. Raven said defeated. She hated to feel like a wounded animal but that's what she was. A helpless, wounded animal. She didn't need Vailor's mind tricks to put that thought into her head.

Poor baby. I just wanted to see how my little half fledgling was doing. You know I don't know what I should do with you when I get you. The idea of a slow and painful death seems like the logical thing to do…then again I have always wanted to see what would happen to the blood of a shifter when she was changed.

Raven snarled at the thought of being one of his fledglings. Like a little puppy for him to carry around on a leash. Although the idea of being a vampire wasn't one that Raven hated, it was being his that made her stomach churn.

You wouldn't dare to do that to me. You know if you gave me that much power I would kill you. Raven said. She heard Vailor laugh in her head. She wished he had been in the room so she could at least give him a snarl. She had no energy to hit him.

You're to big for your britches. If I changed you it would be after you had begged for mercy. No vampire that begs for death ever becomes powerful. Vailor said

Ha. No wonder you never were that famous. You must have begged for your mommy when you were changed. Haha I can see it now, "I want my mommy!" Raven's snide remark was short lived as she felt the force of a mental blow from Vailor. The force of his power made her slam her head against the wall closest to the bed. Flickers of blue and green flashed before her eyes and it took longer then usual for her to regain her focus. As the world became clear again she pulled herself from the floor to sit on the bed. For her own life she told herself not to make Vailor mad again.

Not so funny now are we shifter. You know, the only ones I remember calling for their mother before they died was your little sister.

Raven froze. Her sister? How did he know what she did before she had died, unless. Tears welled up in her eyes and came pouring down in torrents. Raven had to cover her face with her hands to control the sobbing.

So, now you get it. You know that had to have been the most fun I ever had in just a weeks time! Those screams of hers will live with me forever Raven. Ahh, they so filled me with content.

Raven was sobbing out of control now. Her sister. Adrian. She had only been 14. How could he have done such a thing. Raven wanted to be angry so badly. All she wanted at that moment was to feel the hatred she had for Vailor to well up again and over take her. And yet all she could feel was sadness. No anger, just pure weakness and tears.

You…you bastard…why…why Raven's tears inhibited her ability to concentrate on Vailor. All she wanted was to die. Right at that moment she knew what she wanted in all her life. She wanted to die. Death was her solace. Her only way to her sister. She could have given anything to die right there. But all she felt were the tears and the pain. Why, why?

Oops. I guess I hit a nerve didn't I. Stupid me. Haha, oh well you'll get over it. Can't wait to see you again Raven. Have fun with the memories. Hahahaha………

As the tears subsided Raven noticed that her head had gone empty again. She couldn't feel Vailor at all. She was glad. She couldn't take anymore of him. Exhausted from the crying Raven lay back in her bed in a fetal position. Why couldn't she just die and leave this world? Why did life hang onto her so tightly? Questions of why filled her head and threatened to swamp her. Then everything left and there was only one answer. Death. The answer to all her questions all lead to death. The final release, the end to all that made her cry and made her bleed. Death was the answer.

***********

Nikolas walked swiftly towards his house. His feeding had left him still hungry but full enough to put the bounce back in his step for the night. He knew he would have to feed again before the night was over but for now he was riding it out like a sugar high.

The first of his priorities was to check on Raven. She had looked pretty bad when he had last seen her and wanted to check on her again to make sure nothing had happened to her. As he reached his house he could still feel her aura in the room he had left her in but it was very weak. If he was to try and get her to come out of this stoop of hers he would have to get her to eat something. She wasn't just mentally exhausted but physically too.

As Nikolas stepped onto the porch of the house he could feel something not right. Upon further investigation he sensed that a presence had been in the area. When he felt that it had been Vailor Nikolas's anger flared.

"That ignorant vampire. He better not have hurt her." Nikolas said entering the house and heading for the stairs. Although he could tell that Raven was still alive he wanted to make sure for himself that she hadn't been hurt by Vailor.

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Raven lay motionless on the bed. She hadn't moved since Vailor had left her mind, and she began to fell as if she was floating. As if she was so far from all her pains and sadness that for a minute, she thought she was dead. But as soon as she moved her left arm to move some hair from her face the sensation stopped. The pain in her body returned and her senses became keen again. How easily she could be roused from pure happiness to pain again.

The tears had come and gone again and Raven could still feel the soft lines they had drawn on her worn face. A voice in her head told her that she needed to get a hold of herself. What if Nikolas saw her like this? Raven snickered. So what. She could care less if Nikolas saw her ripping the head off a lamb let alone with a tear streaked face. As if to answer her question Raven felt Nikolas's power enter the house and hurry up the stairs to her room. Raven sighed deeply. Finally, the pain would stop.

She heard him open the door cautiously as if trying to not wake her. She knew he knew she wasn't asleep but maybe he sensed her worn state. She hoped he didn't. Then he would have no pity for her when she did what she was about to do.

"Raven? It's me. How are you feeling?" Nikolas said leaning against the wall opposite her bed. Raven was turned facing the wall away from him. She tried to gather strength from within her but was shocked at Nikolas's gently nature towards her. The thought of Nikolas wanting to comfort her almost made Raven want to get up and just run to him and hold him. For a brief second she wanted more then death to hold him and tell him everything, to cry for all that had happened to her. The feeling left her quickly before she could react to it and her will to do what she planned came back.

Raven could feel Nikolas's anxiety towards her since she had said nothing since he entered the room. She could sense he need to leave and also his will to stay by her and find out what plagued her. Raven almost smiled. Poor, poor deluded Nikolas.

Slowly Raven began to change. Tears began to fill her eyes with the realization of what she was doing but she didn't let them stop her. She felt her bones begin to move and bend with the new form they were taking, while others cracked and mended themselves into position. Night black fur began to grow all over her body growing over her clothing. Her nose enlarged to become adequate for the tasks that were needed. She felt her canines enlarge and her teeth sharpen as they moved into position. Her ears moved up her head, enlarging the reception area and grew fur. As Raven's tail grew out from her body as the last part of her change and whiskers grew from around her mouth.

Raven flexed her muscles while still in a some what fetal position. Since panthers could not cry no tears fell from her face. She gathered the final amount of strength she needed and lay still.

"Raven. What's going on?" Raven heard Nikolas's confused voice as he watched her on the bed. She felt bad for what she was going to subject him to. She wished things could be different but now there was no turning back.

Nikolas. I'm so sorry.

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Suddenly and with no warning Raven lunged at Nikolas. He was so taken aback by this that he hardly had time to react and his instincts kicked in. As Raven sunk her sharp panther teeth into his shoulder he cried out in pain. Before he could think of anything he grabbed her by the neck and slammed her against the wall. Nikolas could feel her collar bone break as the impact hit her hard.

Catching his breath Nikolas held Raven suspended in the air, her back legs not even trying to kick at him. He was shocked that she had attacked him but even more shocked that she wasn't continuing with the fight and seemed to be giving in.

What the hell are you doing Raven. Stop this. Nikolas pleaded with the shifter. When he got no answer from her he loosened his grip on her neck with all intentions of letting her go. He had no wish to fight with her, it was only in self defense that he had hurt her at all. As Nikolas let her go Raven jumped him again, this time sinking her teeth into his ribs and drawing blood. Nikolas held a scream of pain and instead used the adrenaline from the pain to hit Raven hard against the head snapping her head back and sending her panther body against the bloody wall. A new mark ran up the wall as Raven hit it.

As Nikolas stared at the mark and back down at Raven he noticed that she was bleeding from a wound in her mouth. The smell of blood caught in his nose and brought the bloodlust to his mind. That wall had been the source of so much blood that he could never help but feel the bloodlust when he looked at it. Now that Raven had her own blood against that wall the lust ran straight towards her. It screamed that she was the source and that he must take it. Nikolas tried to control it but he knew it wouldn't be easy. He thought of pulling himself away from the house to feed but the lust kept him in check. He was so weak. He couldn't fight the bloodlust to stay with his brother and now he was going to succumb to it again and kill the one woman he loved.

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Raven's intire body screamed in agony. She felt frustrated that all she had done to Nikolas so far hadn't made him kill her yet. All that pain for nothing. That stupid vampire and his damn mental control. But as Raven looked up at him she could see his mind slipping again. She could tell that one more attack might just do it.

Raven tried to move but the pain hit her hard. She could tell she had broken her jaw and some ribs, some she had broken just the night before. If she was unlucky and Nikolas didn't kill her maybe the injures and lack of energy would. But as much as she wanted to take that route she knew she couldn't trust it. She had to get some strength and attack him again or else she would loose her window of opportunity.

Slowly but surely Raven rose from her deflated position on the floor. Nikolas was still occupied internally and she knew if she struck fast and quick she could end it. As soon as she had gotten to her feet Raven looked for a spot to attack. She settled on the already wounded right shoulder which would probably send Nikolas into an angry state.

Fast as lightning Raven jumped on him. She bit down hard on his right shoulder and shook it. She tasted blood as she heard Nikolas scream in pain and anger. She mentally felt his mind slip as he grabbed her neck with a more determined grasp and literally slammed her against his art work, which now became part of her as her blood splattered against it.

The end*

How sweet those words sounded.

Before Raven could or wanted to react Nikolas sunk his fangs into the left side of her throat. This came as a total shock to Raven and she screamed in agony. Nikolas made not attempt to make it pleasant as he couldn't. He had so given into the bloodlust that Raven could feel he had no control over his mind and his instincts as a vampire took over. Pain blurred every aspect of Raven's thoughts, she smelled it, breathed it, bleed it and tasted it. She had never known that such agony was possible and yet there she was, pinned against a wall, her rich shifter blood being drained from her body.

Unexpectantly, and just as Raven thought she would pass out the pain ended. Nikolas again had control. Raven fell to the floor with a thud as he pulled his fangs from her neck and stared at her body. Raven struggled to breathe as the pain subsided and she began to change back to human form. Tears against fell from her checks as she lay defeated and feeling dead on the hard wooden floor. Raven hit her fist against the floor with what little energy she had.

"No damn it no!" She cursed as Nikolas leaned against the wall beside her and slid to the ground. She could see the shock and pain in his eyes as he looked at Raven, the eyes of a scared child looked back at her own angry eyes. Nikolas leaned for Raven with tears going down his cheeks.

"Raven...Raven I…oh my god…" His voice trailed off as Raven moved away from him, sliding back against the wall towards the door although she had no intent of leaving. Raven pushed herself up from laying to sit and lean against the wall, tears falling ever faster from her eyes.

"Why…why can't I just die! Nikolas…Nikolas please you…you can't …you can't leave me like this! Please!" The tears kept coming as Raven stared into his shocked eyes. She could see as his own anger at himself fell away and all his feelings fell onto her and what was happening inside of her.

"Raven no. You can't think like that." Nikolas said as he reached for her being as gentle as possible. Raven tried to move away from him but he was faster then her. In one movement he reached his arms around her and hugged her tightly, her head against his shoulder and her hands trying to push against his chest to get away.

"No stop Nikolas, please let me die. Please, I wanna die." Raven's tears slowly made a blotch on his black shirt where the shoulder wound had healed. She tried to move away but Nikolas held her firm. He wasn't going to let her hurt herself again.

"Raven I'm not going to hurt you anymore and you need to stop hurting yourself like this. It's not your fault believe me. You did all you could for your family. No one could have asked more from you." Nikolas's voice was sweet and gentle. She knew he genuinely cared for her, but he could never feel what she felt, she was alone in the world and the only way out of it was death. So if he cared so much why wasn't he finishing what he had started.

You're not alone. I'm here. Raven heard Nikolas say in her head.

Raven had stopped pushing against him now and she felt as he pulled her from him to bring her to look into his eyes. For all the time she had ever known him all she had ever seen in those eyes was blackness. All vampires were given black eyes when they were changed and nothing was different about Nikolas's. But now as Raven stared into his eyes she saw the answers. She saw years of pain and disgust for all others except his siblings. She saw love from his eyes and emotions so pure and real that she couldn't peel her eyes from his. He was changing her whole world by just staring into her eyes and she wished she knew how. But as she stared and lost herself in them she felt at ease. All of her pain left her body as she relaxed in his firm grip. A grip she knew not only held her body but her mind too. She knew that if she just let him hold her all would be fine. She could survive with just his eyes and his hold on her soul.

Before she could stop herself Raven felt her hand reach behind Nikolas's head and the distance between them grew smaller. She felt the warmth as Nikolas held her around her waist and their lips finally met.

Raven felt everything fall away as she pressed her lips fiercely to his. All of her sadness melted away and disappeared. She could never have imagined a more perfect range of emotions then that which fell through her head when she kissed him. Her heart and mouth burned with a passion she never thought she could have for anyone or anything. Nikolas held Raven tighter to him then ever before and she gasped as he slide his tongue into her mouth and the embrace became more whole. She would never forget this moment for as long as she lived.

Then, as soon as the moment had began, it ended. Raven was reluctant to let him go but she knew they could not stay that way forever. Their eyes met again and Raven noticed a silly smile on his lips. How she longed to feel those lips against her own again, but suddenly the world began to grow faint and cold. Raven felt her life slipping from her body as she fell towards the floor. Expecting to feel the cold floor Raven instead felt as Nikolas grabbed her body, stopping her descent.

"Raven, come on stay with me!" She heard him say in a panic.

Raven was dying, she could feel it down to her very soul. The wounds she had sustained the night before and that very night were coming back to get her.

No! Not now, I don't want to die! Nikolas? Raven felt the sadness in his mind as he held her and a tear fell down his cheek. It was then that the idea fell into her head. The most perfect and amazing thought that had ever gone through her mind since she could remember.

Raven, I …I love you…I'm sorry I… Raven stopped him, a smile on her dying face.

"Nikolas. I want to be with you. I want to be what you are." Raven struggled to speak but the main idea of what she was saying sank into his head. He solemnly smiled at her and reached for his knife from his back pocket. Still holding Raven in his arms he quickly sliced a neat line on the lower part of his neck. Lifting her head with his help Raven lifted up to drink.

The blood was sweeter then anything she had ever tasted, and was filled with power. Power beyond all comparison that filled her veins and consumed her intire body.

Nikolas lowered Raven from his neck and stared for the last time at her icy green eyes. As Raven slide into the abyss of death she could feel the inner fight of her shifter blood and Vailors own blood against Nikolas's. She sighed for the last time as she closed her eyes and felt peace as Nikolas's blood won and silenced her inner demons forever.

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Yes YES YESSSSSSS

I'm done, I'm done. WAHOOOO. Muhahahahahaha!

Ok where you see the asterisk (*) that is where I thought for a split second of ending the story. But then again all would have probably KILLED me for it ne? Oh man I feel so good about this story, it's gone so great, the best I have ever written!

Ok now before you all start crying don't WORRY I'M NOT DONE!!! Goodness this story is not over yet. We are at the home stretch. There will defiantly be one more chapter and a short epilogue. Maybe if all goes nutty I may squeeze another chapter in between the epilogue. Hmmmm maybe that isn't such a bad idea. I've always hated that Amelia's books end RIGHT after the heroine is changed into a vampire. GRRRR. That is the only beef I have with them…anyway I WANT COMMENTS! Besides the usual OMG's I got questions for all you ppl.

HOW DID I HANDLE NIKOLAS! There aren't that many stories of Nikolas and I want to know if you thought I kept him in or out of character. I think I did a pretty kick ass job of being true to his character but hey I need others opinions. Also I want to ask what you thought of the story plot. Ok so it was a bit like one of Amelia's books ie how it turns out but hey what can I say, I'm addicted.

I love E-MAILS! If you have more comments that what will fit nicely into the review box PLEASE MAIL ME. I want to have some good analizations of the story. The e-mail is : saiyengirl613@yahoo.com

Ok this is a long authors note so I'm gunna stop it here. Oh and BTW I lied, this chapter was three pages LONGER then the last (well not counting the song…yeah three). Man I'm a really bad at guessing how long they're gunna be ne?