A better place
by Susie
Spoilers: Well, apparently for season 8, since this is set after 'Brothers and sisters'.
Author's note: I know that it didn't happen that way, but a girl can dream, can't she? ;o) Oh yeah, and since English is not my native language and I didn't have a beta reader, please excuse any grammar mistakes or anything in that manner.
Disclaimer: Just like anyone else here, I don't own ER, Susan Lewis or John Carter or any other character. If I would, Chloe would be dead by now :oP
~*~*~*~
Susan couldn't believe what the doctor just told her a couple of hours ago. She had said that a hundred of times herself to the relatives of many of her patients, but now she was the one who got the bad news. Her sister died of an overdose. It shouldn't surprise her, she thought to herself. Chloe always managed to let Susan believe that she would be better soon. That she could be a good mum for little Suzy, but it never worked out in the end. Now she was dead and Susan was on her way back to County. She had to leave little Suzy in the hospital in New York for a while, but she was determined to get back as soon as possible. Right now, she wanted to talk to Kerry and tell her that she needed a couple of days off from work.
When she walked through the doors of the ER, Susan was immediately greeted by Carter.
"Hey, Susan. How are you doing? Have you found Chloe and little Suzy" he asked concerned.
"Yes, we found them. Suzy's in the hospital in New York and... and..." she managed to reply.
Susan choked back the tears which were already forming in her eyes. Carter already noticed that something was wrong when she walked through the doors, but now he knew that something really bad must have happened.
"I'm off in a couple of minutes. Why don't you get yourself a coffee and I join you when I'm out of here?" Carter offered, placing his hand on her shoulder.
"Carter, I just wanted to talk to Kerry" Susan shot back a little taken aback.
"It's one of the Weaver free days today. You have to bear with me" he retorted and tried to convince her with his puppy dog eyes.
"When are you off?" Susan asked, this time a little more friendlier.
"Give me ten minutes" Carter said after checking his watch. "Go to Doc's and get a coffee. I'll join you when I'm ready".
Susan saw no use in arguing with Carter, so she just nodded her head and walked back into the ambulance bay. She turned around to see that he was watching her and quickly got on her way to Doc's.
25 minutes later:
Carter walked through the doors of the restaurant and looked for Susan. He found her where he didn't really expected her to be. She was sitting at the bar, already tipsy. Next to her was a guy who was obviously flirting with her. He didn't know why, but he felt slightly jealous. He slowly walked over to where she was sitting and cleared his throat.
"Excuse me?" he said to the guy. "Would you leave us alone for a second?"
The guy looked at Susan first, then to Carter and back to Susan. Susan just nodded her head and motioned for the guy to leave. The guy shot one last glare at Carter before he finally left them alone.
Carter sat down on the stool next to Susan and looked at her.
"I've never seen you like this before. Wanna tell me what happened?" he asked cautiously.
"Actually no. I don't wanna talk about it, but since I think you won't let up 'til I tell you..." she said sighing. "Chloe died of an overdose" she blurted out.
Carter stared at her in disbelief. Here he said with an almost drunken Susan who just told him that her sister died.
"Susan, I'm so sorry. Why didn't you call anyone? You could have stayed with Suzy" he said unable to understand why she was in Chicago when her niece was alone in a hospital room.
"I wanted to talk to Kerry in person" she stammered. "And I had to get some things out of my apartment" she added quickly.
"You could have called me. I still have a key to your apartment, remember?" he said, gently touching her arm in a comforting way.
"It doesn't matter anymore. I'm here now..." Susan retorted, motioning for another drink.
"Don't you think you had enough alcohol already?" Carter said, concern washing over him.
"I had to do something while I was waiting for you" she replied, knowing that it was definately more than just a lame excuse.
"Listen Susan, let me take you home and make sure you're okay", he said all of a sudden.
"Carter, I really appreciate it, but I don't think..." she tried to reply, but Carter put a finger to her lips, interrupting her.
"I just don't think you should be alone right now," he declared looking her in the eyes.
Susan nodded, she knew that he was right. With the way she felt, she really shouldn't go home on her own.
"Okay," she said. Carter stood up and then held out his hand to her. He gently helped her to her feet.
"Thank you" she said.
"For what?" he asked.
"For helping me. It's nice to know that you still care."
Carter just smiled, paid for her drinks and led her out of the restaurant.
Later at Susan's apartment:
"Wanna have some coffee? I think I really need one myself" Susan said entering her apartment with Carter right behind her.
"Sit down, I'm gonna make the coffee" he told her and put his coat down over the back of the couch.
Susan didn't respond, she just looked at him. "Uh-oh. I've learned it's not a good thing when you don't respond." Carter said.
"Why do you say that?" she asked with just a hint of curiousity.
"Because, it usually means that you're planning your next line of attack" he said, trying to lighten the mood.
Despite the whole situation, Susan was actually feeling better and she realized that she really enjoyed Carter's company right then.
"First of all, I don't plan attacks, they just come naturally" she said with a grin. "And second of all, would you mind if I turn on some music? It's too quiet in here."
"Sure, no problem" he said, walking towards the kitchen.
Susan headed over to her sound system and turned on the radio. Her favorite station was in the middle of a song and she listened to the lyrics.
So wipe the tears from your eyes
'Cos you know that you'll survive
Wipe the tears from your eyes
And think of the good times
Baby you will survive
It's hard but you got to try
To wipe the tears from your eyes
'Cos you know you will survive
All the emotions Susan had tried to hold back for so long crashed into her and she broke down in tears. Carter, who had heard her sobbing from the kitchen, was immediately at her side. He pulled her into an embrace and just held her for a couple of minutes. After a while, when she had stopped crying, he began to move to the music slowly.
"John, I..." she began, but was stopped by the feeling of his lips on hers. It was only for an instant and then Carter pulled away.
"Susan, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." He stopped. He was too confused to know what to say.
Susan just pulled him closer and kissed him again. The kiss was soft at first, but deepened by the second. When they pulled back for air, they stared at each other in wonder.
"I don't know what's coming over me, but I can't stop it either" she admitted.
The truth was, she didn't want to stop it. The music, the alcohol and her pain had all mingled together into one emotion. All she wanted right now was to be with someone. All she wanted was to be with Carter.
"Are you sure you want this?" he asked his own resolve weakening by the second.
"Yes, I'm sure" she answered with a smile.
That smile was all he needed to keep going and he began to kiss her passionately. They just stood there for a while, kissing as Susan slowly started to walk backwards.
"Where are you going" Carter whispered breathless after he broke the kiss.
"It's much more comfortable there, I promise" Susan said turning out the music, taking his hand and making her way to the bedroom.
~*~*~*~
Author's note: There was supposed to be a NC-17 part, but I decided to leave it out for now. Let me know what you think.
Spoilers: Well, apparently for season 8, since this is set after 'Brothers and sisters'.
Author's note: I know that it didn't happen that way, but a girl can dream, can't she? ;o) Oh yeah, and since English is not my native language and I didn't have a beta reader, please excuse any grammar mistakes or anything in that manner.
Disclaimer: Just like anyone else here, I don't own ER, Susan Lewis or John Carter or any other character. If I would, Chloe would be dead by now :oP
~*~*~*~
Susan couldn't believe what the doctor just told her a couple of hours ago. She had said that a hundred of times herself to the relatives of many of her patients, but now she was the one who got the bad news. Her sister died of an overdose. It shouldn't surprise her, she thought to herself. Chloe always managed to let Susan believe that she would be better soon. That she could be a good mum for little Suzy, but it never worked out in the end. Now she was dead and Susan was on her way back to County. She had to leave little Suzy in the hospital in New York for a while, but she was determined to get back as soon as possible. Right now, she wanted to talk to Kerry and tell her that she needed a couple of days off from work.
When she walked through the doors of the ER, Susan was immediately greeted by Carter.
"Hey, Susan. How are you doing? Have you found Chloe and little Suzy" he asked concerned.
"Yes, we found them. Suzy's in the hospital in New York and... and..." she managed to reply.
Susan choked back the tears which were already forming in her eyes. Carter already noticed that something was wrong when she walked through the doors, but now he knew that something really bad must have happened.
"I'm off in a couple of minutes. Why don't you get yourself a coffee and I join you when I'm out of here?" Carter offered, placing his hand on her shoulder.
"Carter, I just wanted to talk to Kerry" Susan shot back a little taken aback.
"It's one of the Weaver free days today. You have to bear with me" he retorted and tried to convince her with his puppy dog eyes.
"When are you off?" Susan asked, this time a little more friendlier.
"Give me ten minutes" Carter said after checking his watch. "Go to Doc's and get a coffee. I'll join you when I'm ready".
Susan saw no use in arguing with Carter, so she just nodded her head and walked back into the ambulance bay. She turned around to see that he was watching her and quickly got on her way to Doc's.
25 minutes later:
Carter walked through the doors of the restaurant and looked for Susan. He found her where he didn't really expected her to be. She was sitting at the bar, already tipsy. Next to her was a guy who was obviously flirting with her. He didn't know why, but he felt slightly jealous. He slowly walked over to where she was sitting and cleared his throat.
"Excuse me?" he said to the guy. "Would you leave us alone for a second?"
The guy looked at Susan first, then to Carter and back to Susan. Susan just nodded her head and motioned for the guy to leave. The guy shot one last glare at Carter before he finally left them alone.
Carter sat down on the stool next to Susan and looked at her.
"I've never seen you like this before. Wanna tell me what happened?" he asked cautiously.
"Actually no. I don't wanna talk about it, but since I think you won't let up 'til I tell you..." she said sighing. "Chloe died of an overdose" she blurted out.
Carter stared at her in disbelief. Here he said with an almost drunken Susan who just told him that her sister died.
"Susan, I'm so sorry. Why didn't you call anyone? You could have stayed with Suzy" he said unable to understand why she was in Chicago when her niece was alone in a hospital room.
"I wanted to talk to Kerry in person" she stammered. "And I had to get some things out of my apartment" she added quickly.
"You could have called me. I still have a key to your apartment, remember?" he said, gently touching her arm in a comforting way.
"It doesn't matter anymore. I'm here now..." Susan retorted, motioning for another drink.
"Don't you think you had enough alcohol already?" Carter said, concern washing over him.
"I had to do something while I was waiting for you" she replied, knowing that it was definately more than just a lame excuse.
"Listen Susan, let me take you home and make sure you're okay", he said all of a sudden.
"Carter, I really appreciate it, but I don't think..." she tried to reply, but Carter put a finger to her lips, interrupting her.
"I just don't think you should be alone right now," he declared looking her in the eyes.
Susan nodded, she knew that he was right. With the way she felt, she really shouldn't go home on her own.
"Okay," she said. Carter stood up and then held out his hand to her. He gently helped her to her feet.
"Thank you" she said.
"For what?" he asked.
"For helping me. It's nice to know that you still care."
Carter just smiled, paid for her drinks and led her out of the restaurant.
Later at Susan's apartment:
"Wanna have some coffee? I think I really need one myself" Susan said entering her apartment with Carter right behind her.
"Sit down, I'm gonna make the coffee" he told her and put his coat down over the back of the couch.
Susan didn't respond, she just looked at him. "Uh-oh. I've learned it's not a good thing when you don't respond." Carter said.
"Why do you say that?" she asked with just a hint of curiousity.
"Because, it usually means that you're planning your next line of attack" he said, trying to lighten the mood.
Despite the whole situation, Susan was actually feeling better and she realized that she really enjoyed Carter's company right then.
"First of all, I don't plan attacks, they just come naturally" she said with a grin. "And second of all, would you mind if I turn on some music? It's too quiet in here."
"Sure, no problem" he said, walking towards the kitchen.
Susan headed over to her sound system and turned on the radio. Her favorite station was in the middle of a song and she listened to the lyrics.
So wipe the tears from your eyes
'Cos you know that you'll survive
Wipe the tears from your eyes
And think of the good times
Baby you will survive
It's hard but you got to try
To wipe the tears from your eyes
'Cos you know you will survive
All the emotions Susan had tried to hold back for so long crashed into her and she broke down in tears. Carter, who had heard her sobbing from the kitchen, was immediately at her side. He pulled her into an embrace and just held her for a couple of minutes. After a while, when she had stopped crying, he began to move to the music slowly.
"John, I..." she began, but was stopped by the feeling of his lips on hers. It was only for an instant and then Carter pulled away.
"Susan, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." He stopped. He was too confused to know what to say.
Susan just pulled him closer and kissed him again. The kiss was soft at first, but deepened by the second. When they pulled back for air, they stared at each other in wonder.
"I don't know what's coming over me, but I can't stop it either" she admitted.
The truth was, she didn't want to stop it. The music, the alcohol and her pain had all mingled together into one emotion. All she wanted right now was to be with someone. All she wanted was to be with Carter.
"Are you sure you want this?" he asked his own resolve weakening by the second.
"Yes, I'm sure" she answered with a smile.
That smile was all he needed to keep going and he began to kiss her passionately. They just stood there for a while, kissing as Susan slowly started to walk backwards.
"Where are you going" Carter whispered breathless after he broke the kiss.
"It's much more comfortable there, I promise" Susan said turning out the music, taking his hand and making her way to the bedroom.
~*~*~*~
Author's note: There was supposed to be a NC-17 part, but I decided to leave it out for now. Let me know what you think.