"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."
-Norman Cousins
Two weeks passed... Rod's flirting increased in the classes I had with him but I still was a bit too shy to return his playful advances with anything other than a timid smile. This further alienated me from Charlotte but my friendship with Marisa grew and helped sustain me throughout that first difficult month... but I never forgot that day when I saw Erik playing the violin.
It was almost time for the auditions to West Side Story and Mrs. Lucas told those of us who were hoping for the part of Maria what was required of us on the day we auditioned which was a solo piece of our own choosing.
I was still thinking about possible songs that day after school. As I was walking out the door, I noticed that once again the theater door was open. Curiosity got the better of me and I crept towards it. Feeling foolish, I glanced around outside to see if anyone saw me, and went inside. This time, there were a few dim lights on in the hallway and I went down it instead of going to the auditorium like I had before.
The theater was larger than I thought. Doors on either side of me led to other hallways and a bend at the end of mine convinced me what a labyrinth this place truly was. Someone might easily get lost in here... I thought, rounding another corner and going down a short flight of stairs. The thought occurred to me that I might get lost... but somehow that knowledge didn't deter me from walking on. I felt safe and relaxed here... more at home in this theater than I was at my great-aunt's house.
Suddenly, I tripped over something and the brick wall rushed at me with startling quickness. I raised my hands to brace myself for impact... and in a confusing blur, fell straight forward and landed on my knees.
What just happened? Where's the wall? I thought, pushing my disheveled hair out of my eyes. I stood and gaped at my dark surroundings. Gone was the dim corridor, which I had been walking though. Where am I? It was pitch black but a mirror set into one wall on my right gave off a ghostly bluish luminescence that was strangely comforting. A bit nervous, I ventured forth, using the wall to feel my way around the room. It was small, not much bigger than a walk-in-closet sized but I could tell by feel that the floor was concrete covered by thin carpeting and the mirror made up half of one of the longer sides of the room.
The enormity of what I had discovered felled me and I leaned against the opposite wall for support. A secret room! I've accidentally found a secret room! For a moment I felt like a child again, playing hide-and-go-seek with Dad in the community theater. Reality returned with a bit of fear in a moment when I realized that I did not know how I was going to escape.
"Okay... calm down Christine," I said to myself, running my hands through my thick curls. "Think... how are you going to get out of here?"
I felt my way back to the front of the room (the front being the way I got in) and searched for a doorknob. Nothing. Well, that was to be expected I guess. It's a secret room so the way out isn't what it usually would be. For the next half hour I anxiously felt around the "door," on the walls beside it, and the floor. I couldn't reach the ceiling. Finally, I found a loose panel on the right wall that I pressed and the secret door cracked enough for me to push it open and get out. Once out in the hallway again, wonder mixed with relief replaced the panic that had threatened to overtake me and I saw the secret door close by itself.
With a smile on my face, I worked my way out of the theater, deciding not to tell anyone about my discovery. I had always loved playing in the theater where Dad usually performed, sneaking around and into dressing rooms and the orchestra pit, hiding behind backdrops and other props.
As I was exiting through the door, the darkness of the hallway no longer seemed frightening to me. Now it was almost comforting... like the caress of a hand on a face wet with tears.