Author's notes: I'm sorry I wrote this. I started it a year ago, and am
still writing now. If you're looking for a fic that tries to cram in as
many characters from all different places, whilst attempting to be mildly
funny, then this is for you. However, if you're looking for something that
is well written and gives everyone their actually personality then this
definitely isn't. This does get better. Please review, even it's to tell me
to get my talentless arse off the internet.
Rating explanation: Yes, I probably could have gotten away with a PG-13 rating, but who am I to judge whether you want to read about an orgy starring all the Planeteers? Sure, I'm not descriptive, but this gets much worse.
***
A handsome, badly dressed man enters. "Good morning star shine. Ahem. I'm sorry, that was good morning children", said the narrator. No, he did not get payed much for this job. "My name is Stephan. Yes, that's Stephan, pronounced Stef-arn. I don't know why I'm here. What I do know is that at any moment something interesting could happen. But don't get your hopes up. Enjoy the show. But remember, drugs are bad, Mmkay."
Mulder wandered into a grassy field, muttering naughty, naughty words to himself. "Dammit Scully, you bitch fagogo! What's a fagogo? Why am I talking to myself? Hmm." Before Mulder could get too worried about his apparent psychological problems, the Planeteers landed next to him in their flying Planeteer mobile.
Mulder was decidedly shocked. "Argh!" he screamed. "Are you UFOs?"
"No", replied Linka. "We're Planeteers! We save the Earth with the help of Captain Planet!"
"And I'm Snaps! I like to take pictures of Pokémon!" said Snaps, who had just popped up as if from nowhere.
Mulder took a moment to process this information. 'Does not compute!' he thought, but then he remembered that how to speak.
"So let me get this straight", Mulder said slowly. He pointed to Snaps, even though everyone knows that's rude. "You killed Andy?"
"No!" Snaps replied, hurt and appalled by Mulder's accusation. "I like to take pictures of Pokémon!"
"Oh", said Mulder. "Then who killed Andy?"
"Buggered if I know", Snaps said. "And now I must go, because I need to take some pictures of Pokémon. That's something I really like doing".
So off skipped Snaps, to take pictures of Pokémon, because that's something he likes doing. During the entire previous semi-argument, the Planeteers had been sitting on the grass playing Uno.
"Uno!" yelled Marti.
"That's what they all say," said Gee, trying to shut Marti down but only succeeding in making herself look like a try hard.
Cute little Gohan flitted onto the field. "Hey everyone! What's up?" he asked.
"The sky! Ahahahahahahahahaaaaa!!!" Mulder replied in a crazed and frightening voice.
"That's... nice", said Gohan cautiously. "You know what, guys? We should look for the Dragon Balls!"
"The Dragon's balls?" everyone asked, in an exclaimy type style.
"No, the Dragon Balls!" Gohan corrected them.
"Yes, let's go find the Dragon Balls!" proclaimed Dawson, who had appeared as if from nowhere.
"Yeah, let's do that. But not if Dawson's coming with us", said Karl, who had also appeared. "He's a reject, and no one likes him."
"You can talk", replied Dawson, in a finger up the nose, head caving in sort of voice.
And with that, Dawson and Karl began to bitch slap each other, over and over again. It looked like it might go on for a while, so Wheeler made a decision on behalf of the other group members, and called the one person he knew could help. MacGuyver came as fast as his legs, with feet attached, would carry him, and chucked both Dawson and Karl off a building of his own choosing, then danced on their splattered remains.
"Are we going to get the Dragon Balls now?" asked Gohan. "Yep", replied the Planeteers. "But let's stay in this field for a bit longer. We haven't finished playing UNO yet." "Hi guys!" said Buffy, who had just arrived. "What's up?" "The sky is up! Ahahahahahahaha!" Mulder chimed in. "Um, good. So whatcha guys doin'", Buffy asked. "We're going to find the Dragon Balls!" replied Gohan. "The Dragon's balls?!" Buffy screeched. "No, the Dragon Balls", Gohan corrected her. "You can make wishes on them!" "Cool!" said Buffy. "When are you going? Can I come with you?" "We're going when the Planeteers finish their game of UNO. And of course you can come with us. You can even invite some friends!" "Oh goodie!" exclaimed Buffy. "I'll do that right now." Buffy then wandered off to invite her pals.
"UNO!" Mulder shouted. "But you're not playing", Gee complained. "How can you have one card left when you really have none?" "I have none?" Mulder asked. "Then I won! Yay me." "Well, if someone has won then the game is over. We can leave now", said Gohan. "Let's go!" "But my pals aren't here yet!" whined Buffy. "Oh wait, no, here they come."
In galloped a bunch of horses, each carrying one of Buffy's pals. One of the horses seemed to be larger than the others, although it could have been because of the enormous size of the person atop it. "These are my friends, guys", Buffy announced to the others already present. "This gal here is Lois, this is Clark, this is Phoebe, Piper and Prue, and this...", she said, pointing to the huge guy still on his horse (the others had dismounted), "is Riley. Please ignore the fact that he's naked." "I just feel more comfortable without clothes", Riley explained to the slightly frightened crowd. "Oh", was all they could reply.
"UNO!" exclaimed Quami. "Dammit, I suck at this game", Linka groaned. "Maybe we should just get going, and try to find those Dragon Balls." "Dragon's balls?!" exploded Lois, Clark, Phoebe, Piper, Prue and Riley. "Yucky!" "No!" shouted everyone else. "The Dragon Balls!" "Alright, I think that we should maybe go now", said Lois. "But first..." Suddenly Lois grabbed Mulder and dragged him into a nearby patch of slightly longer grass (so it really made no difference to whether or not they were visible). Everyone also heard Lois say, "You're really weird. I love that in a man." And they started going at in the patch of slightly longer grass.
Phoebe, Piper and Prue, realising that they weren't going to have a good part in this story, and also that they didn't AT ALL want to be anywhere near Fat Naked Riley, or scary (spooky) Mulder, began to chant. "The power of three will set us free, the power of three will set us free", they repeated, until they disappeared. Wow, they were set free! "Do you think that was meant to happen?" Clark asked Fat Naked Riley. Snaps then skipped up. "Buggered if I know", he said, though why he bothered to come back to the unusual group to answer a question which he didn't hear and didn't know the answer to is anyone's guess. Snaps then skipped off again to take pictures of Pokémon because he really likes doing that.
"Everyone, we are leaving now!" shouted Gohan. "I wanna get the Dragon Balls." "The Dragon's balls?!" exclaimed Mac, who had just shown up. "No, the Dragon Balls!" yelled back Gohan, who was becoming frustrated. "Let's go!" "Sure Gohan, we can go now", said Clark quietly. That Gohan guy was really starting to scare him. Mulder popped his head up from the slightly longer grass. "Um... guys, can we wait a few minutes?" he said. "I have a slight problem. I... can't stand up right now."
Scully jogged into the field. "Do you have an erection, Mulder?" she asked. Mulder's face turned bright red, really maroon. "Do you have to call it that, Scully? It makes me feel very uncomfortable." "Well, that's it's technical name. After all, I am a medical doctor", Scully replied. "Oh, yeah", said Mulder quietly. "Now Scully, I don't want you to get all mad and stuff, but I'm going out with someone..." "Who is it?" Scully demanded. "How could you? Everyone said we were meant for each other! I feel so disappointed!" "Scully you should have known that I didn't like you. You're so, well, scientific", explained Mulder.
Scully then sat down in the grass and began to wail obscene words about Mulder being a giant dick (or something along those lines). "So, we're going to go soon, right?" yelled Mac over the din of Scully's crying. "I'm getting kinda bored." "We're going to keep playing UNO until the woman we've never met shuts the hell up", Wheeler said. "Wanna play?" "Yes, I sure do", answered Mac. So Wheeler, Mac, Marti, Linka, Gee, Quami, Mulder, Gohan, Buffy and Riley (who was fat and naked at the time) all sat down in a circle on the grass and proceeded to play a vigorous game of UNO while they waited for Scully to stop crying.
Rating explanation: Yes, I probably could have gotten away with a PG-13 rating, but who am I to judge whether you want to read about an orgy starring all the Planeteers? Sure, I'm not descriptive, but this gets much worse.
***
A handsome, badly dressed man enters. "Good morning star shine. Ahem. I'm sorry, that was good morning children", said the narrator. No, he did not get payed much for this job. "My name is Stephan. Yes, that's Stephan, pronounced Stef-arn. I don't know why I'm here. What I do know is that at any moment something interesting could happen. But don't get your hopes up. Enjoy the show. But remember, drugs are bad, Mmkay."
Mulder wandered into a grassy field, muttering naughty, naughty words to himself. "Dammit Scully, you bitch fagogo! What's a fagogo? Why am I talking to myself? Hmm." Before Mulder could get too worried about his apparent psychological problems, the Planeteers landed next to him in their flying Planeteer mobile.
Mulder was decidedly shocked. "Argh!" he screamed. "Are you UFOs?"
"No", replied Linka. "We're Planeteers! We save the Earth with the help of Captain Planet!"
"And I'm Snaps! I like to take pictures of Pokémon!" said Snaps, who had just popped up as if from nowhere.
Mulder took a moment to process this information. 'Does not compute!' he thought, but then he remembered that how to speak.
"So let me get this straight", Mulder said slowly. He pointed to Snaps, even though everyone knows that's rude. "You killed Andy?"
"No!" Snaps replied, hurt and appalled by Mulder's accusation. "I like to take pictures of Pokémon!"
"Oh", said Mulder. "Then who killed Andy?"
"Buggered if I know", Snaps said. "And now I must go, because I need to take some pictures of Pokémon. That's something I really like doing".
So off skipped Snaps, to take pictures of Pokémon, because that's something he likes doing. During the entire previous semi-argument, the Planeteers had been sitting on the grass playing Uno.
"Uno!" yelled Marti.
"That's what they all say," said Gee, trying to shut Marti down but only succeeding in making herself look like a try hard.
Cute little Gohan flitted onto the field. "Hey everyone! What's up?" he asked.
"The sky! Ahahahahahahahahaaaaa!!!" Mulder replied in a crazed and frightening voice.
"That's... nice", said Gohan cautiously. "You know what, guys? We should look for the Dragon Balls!"
"The Dragon's balls?" everyone asked, in an exclaimy type style.
"No, the Dragon Balls!" Gohan corrected them.
"Yes, let's go find the Dragon Balls!" proclaimed Dawson, who had appeared as if from nowhere.
"Yeah, let's do that. But not if Dawson's coming with us", said Karl, who had also appeared. "He's a reject, and no one likes him."
"You can talk", replied Dawson, in a finger up the nose, head caving in sort of voice.
And with that, Dawson and Karl began to bitch slap each other, over and over again. It looked like it might go on for a while, so Wheeler made a decision on behalf of the other group members, and called the one person he knew could help. MacGuyver came as fast as his legs, with feet attached, would carry him, and chucked both Dawson and Karl off a building of his own choosing, then danced on their splattered remains.
"Are we going to get the Dragon Balls now?" asked Gohan. "Yep", replied the Planeteers. "But let's stay in this field for a bit longer. We haven't finished playing UNO yet." "Hi guys!" said Buffy, who had just arrived. "What's up?" "The sky is up! Ahahahahahahaha!" Mulder chimed in. "Um, good. So whatcha guys doin'", Buffy asked. "We're going to find the Dragon Balls!" replied Gohan. "The Dragon's balls?!" Buffy screeched. "No, the Dragon Balls", Gohan corrected her. "You can make wishes on them!" "Cool!" said Buffy. "When are you going? Can I come with you?" "We're going when the Planeteers finish their game of UNO. And of course you can come with us. You can even invite some friends!" "Oh goodie!" exclaimed Buffy. "I'll do that right now." Buffy then wandered off to invite her pals.
"UNO!" Mulder shouted. "But you're not playing", Gee complained. "How can you have one card left when you really have none?" "I have none?" Mulder asked. "Then I won! Yay me." "Well, if someone has won then the game is over. We can leave now", said Gohan. "Let's go!" "But my pals aren't here yet!" whined Buffy. "Oh wait, no, here they come."
In galloped a bunch of horses, each carrying one of Buffy's pals. One of the horses seemed to be larger than the others, although it could have been because of the enormous size of the person atop it. "These are my friends, guys", Buffy announced to the others already present. "This gal here is Lois, this is Clark, this is Phoebe, Piper and Prue, and this...", she said, pointing to the huge guy still on his horse (the others had dismounted), "is Riley. Please ignore the fact that he's naked." "I just feel more comfortable without clothes", Riley explained to the slightly frightened crowd. "Oh", was all they could reply.
"UNO!" exclaimed Quami. "Dammit, I suck at this game", Linka groaned. "Maybe we should just get going, and try to find those Dragon Balls." "Dragon's balls?!" exploded Lois, Clark, Phoebe, Piper, Prue and Riley. "Yucky!" "No!" shouted everyone else. "The Dragon Balls!" "Alright, I think that we should maybe go now", said Lois. "But first..." Suddenly Lois grabbed Mulder and dragged him into a nearby patch of slightly longer grass (so it really made no difference to whether or not they were visible). Everyone also heard Lois say, "You're really weird. I love that in a man." And they started going at in the patch of slightly longer grass.
Phoebe, Piper and Prue, realising that they weren't going to have a good part in this story, and also that they didn't AT ALL want to be anywhere near Fat Naked Riley, or scary (spooky) Mulder, began to chant. "The power of three will set us free, the power of three will set us free", they repeated, until they disappeared. Wow, they were set free! "Do you think that was meant to happen?" Clark asked Fat Naked Riley. Snaps then skipped up. "Buggered if I know", he said, though why he bothered to come back to the unusual group to answer a question which he didn't hear and didn't know the answer to is anyone's guess. Snaps then skipped off again to take pictures of Pokémon because he really likes doing that.
"Everyone, we are leaving now!" shouted Gohan. "I wanna get the Dragon Balls." "The Dragon's balls?!" exclaimed Mac, who had just shown up. "No, the Dragon Balls!" yelled back Gohan, who was becoming frustrated. "Let's go!" "Sure Gohan, we can go now", said Clark quietly. That Gohan guy was really starting to scare him. Mulder popped his head up from the slightly longer grass. "Um... guys, can we wait a few minutes?" he said. "I have a slight problem. I... can't stand up right now."
Scully jogged into the field. "Do you have an erection, Mulder?" she asked. Mulder's face turned bright red, really maroon. "Do you have to call it that, Scully? It makes me feel very uncomfortable." "Well, that's it's technical name. After all, I am a medical doctor", Scully replied. "Oh, yeah", said Mulder quietly. "Now Scully, I don't want you to get all mad and stuff, but I'm going out with someone..." "Who is it?" Scully demanded. "How could you? Everyone said we were meant for each other! I feel so disappointed!" "Scully you should have known that I didn't like you. You're so, well, scientific", explained Mulder.
Scully then sat down in the grass and began to wail obscene words about Mulder being a giant dick (or something along those lines). "So, we're going to go soon, right?" yelled Mac over the din of Scully's crying. "I'm getting kinda bored." "We're going to keep playing UNO until the woman we've never met shuts the hell up", Wheeler said. "Wanna play?" "Yes, I sure do", answered Mac. So Wheeler, Mac, Marti, Linka, Gee, Quami, Mulder, Gohan, Buffy and Riley (who was fat and naked at the time) all sat down in a circle on the grass and proceeded to play a vigorous game of UNO while they waited for Scully to stop crying.