Author's notes: This being called stupid comedy is a good thing, right?
Sure, why not. This next bit is better than the second one. I think so,
anyway. There's really no explanation required, so on with the show, in a
Moulin Rouge way! No, not really. Oh, and I don't know if Buffy or Spike
have super hearing, and I really don't think Buffy does, but since this is
my little universe I'm pretending that they do.
Spice World: I'd just like to point out that I don't own the Spice World CD, so I was just guessing about both the order of the songs, and what is actually on the CD. I just used the songs that I either like or the ones that fit the scene. Please don't mention the non-knowledge I have about the Spice Girls.
I love everyone!: Thanks for the compliment on my stupid comedy, Gman! It's actually what inspired me to computerise this part. And the reason the MacGuyver is the one who "helps out" is because I just wanted him to be there for some reason, and that was the first reason that came into my head. I suppose it would have been funnier if I'd made it a My Little Pony, or something...
***
When all of those looking for the Dragon Balls had entered the bus no one knew where they should sit, or who to sit next to. So they just stood in the aisle, frantically looking around for spare seats.
Suddenly Buffy recognised someone she knew. "Oh my God, Spike!" she exclaimed, yelling out to the bleachy blonde vampire who was presently looking through a rather graphic pornographic magazine called "Playvamp".
"Slayer!" Spike replied, and proceeded to blush a lovely pink. He attempted to hide the magazine in a large purple backpack, which was resting next to his feet. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm not allowed to tell, because it's a secret", said Buffy. "But I'll tell you anyway, if... you let me sit next to you."
"Be my guest", said Spike, in a very evil sounding voice.
But then Riley piped up. "Buffy...", he whined. "I thought you were going to sit with meeee..."
"Sorry Riley", Buffy replied, "but I just don't think that there's room on these small bus seats for you AND someone else. You are pretty fat, after all."
After pondering Buffy's statement for awhile Riley realised that she was right, and so he sat down in an extra large seat up the front by himself.
"Alrighty everybody, the last person sitting down has to stay behind and knit pot holders!" Gohan yelled angrily because he wanted to get moving, and also because he really needed some new potholders.
There was a scrambling for seats. Mulder ended up next to his new girlfriend Lois, the Planeteers squashed across the back seat, the two little anime boys (Snaps and Gohan) sat together, Clark sat next to MacGuyver, Fat Naked Riley was already sitting by himself, and Matt got the driver's seat (as he's driving). And of course Buffy was sitting next to Spike, unsuitably close to him, especially since she's meant to be going out with Riley.
"So, what was this big secret, pet?" Spike asked Buffy.
"We are looking for... the Dragon Balls!" Buffy whispered in his ear, just before she licked it.
"Ah!" Spike shouted (but pretty quietly). "The Dragon's Balls? And also, why did you lick my ear?"
"Um, speed bump", Buffy lied. "And it's Dragon Balls, not Dragon's Balls."
"But the bus isn't moving", Spike said to himself, but because of Buffy's super slayer hearing she heard him. She pretended she didn't.
"So, anyway", Spike continued, "what are the Dragon Balls?"
"They are apparently really cool. You can make wishes on them! Do you wanna come?" Buffy asked.
Spike pondered this. For about one and a half seconds. What kind of pathetic fool passes up the opportunity to spend extra time with the object of their affection?
"Sure. That could be a bit of fun", he told Buffy. "That sounds like an alright deal."
Buffy was pleased.
'Now begins the seduction', she thought to herself, and smiled to herself.
Meanwhile, Snaps had moved to his own seat, as Gohan had the unusual habit of elbowing him in the side every 22 seconds and then making a strange cat sound. After five minutes of waiting for the bus to leave he had gotten so sick of it that he had gone to talk to Matt, who was still trying to figure out how to drive the bus. Or maybe he was just trying to figure out how to start it. He had never driven a bus before, after all.
"Come on Matt, you can do it!" said Snaps, urging him on.
"I know that!" Matt replied, slightly annoyed. "I've been trying to see the pictures in the bleached guys, magazine by looking in the rear view mirror. I suppose we should leave now, though. We really don't want to make Gohan mad. He's not quite all there, and really freaks me out."
And with that thought in mind Matt started the bus and began a slow trek down the road, on a mission for the Dragon Balls. A cheer went up from the crowd, because they were excited about watching the orgy the Planeteers were having on the back seat. But it was over almost before it began, and so everyone went back to what they had been doing before all the fun started: virtually nothing.
After a few minutes Clark realised two things. The first was that Willy (the deceased bus driver) had left his wish Wellingtons sitting, unattended, at the front of the bus. The second thing that Clark noticed was that there was no music playing. Music is ALWAYS playing during a bus trip. But he wanted to take care of the most important of his two realisations first.
"Hey everyone!" he shouted, sounding excited. "We need music!"
"Don't worry, I have the best CD ever!" Spike yelled back. He took a CD from his back pack and handed it over to Matt, who placed it in the Super Special Bus CD System (whilst driving). Music began to play. Spike's CD was... Spice World!
The first song came on, and it was "Goodbye". Because everyone is stupid they thought that it was the most romantic song ever, and they all got up to dance. Mulder danced with his new girlfriend Lois, Linka danced with Wheeler, Marti danced with Gee, Quami danced with himself, Gohan danced with Snaps (even though they now hate each other), and Buffy continued with her plan of seduction by asking Spike to dance. Riley was really jealous, until he noticed that MacGuyver was available. Matt was about to get up and dance as well when he too realised two things. The first was that he needed to drive the bus, and the second was that that hot chick Mac was gone.
"Oh well", he said to himself. "She probably got distracted by a really big navy uniform or something. It's not like anyone liked her anyway."
Clark wasn't dancing. He'd always hated the Spice Girls. Now, what had he realised before? That's it! Clark jumped to his feet, and wended his way carefully to the from of the bus, so as not to disrupt the scary crowd still dancing to Spice World in the bus aisle. Once he reached the front Clark pounced on the Wellingtons, lying discarded by the door. Clutching them to his chest, he ran back to his seat, again trying hard to avoid the dancers. He sat down and put the Wellingtons on his feet.
'No one can get them if I'm wearing them!' he thought to himself triumphantly, as his feet were squished beyond recognition. They had previously belonged to a six year old, after all. The Wellingtons that is, not his feet.
On the dance floor/bus aisle Buffy and Spike were dancing way too close for two people who are meant to be enemies. Riley stared at them, jealous of how close they seemed to be. He began chanting to himself, just to make him forget about the embarrassing display going on nearby.
'I'm a lumberjack, and I'm OK, I sleep all night and I work all day. I'm a lumberjack, and I'm OK, I sleep all night and I work all day. Ahh, that feels better', Riley thought. 'I think I might go to sleep now.'
And Riley fell asleep, his head cushioned by his enormous fat stomach.
"Goodbye" ended, and "Spice up your life" began blasting out of the speakers. Most of the rabid dancers had sat back down, having grown tired of the previous song after the second verse. But the new song, an old favourite, revived everyone's desire to dance their collective arses off, so there was a great stampede as they all rushed back to the dance floor. Riley, awoken from his thirty second sleep by the noisy crowd all singing, "People of the world! Spice up your life! Every boy and every girl! Spice up your life!" was annoyed, but then he remembered that this was one of his favourite songs, and almost as good as "Mm, bop", the greatest song of all time!
So Riley jumped to his feet and joined in the fun. He flopped in a really fat way over to Buffy, and did that hip bump thing with her. She flew through the air, landed on Spike who had bent down to tie his shoelace, and they both fell to the floor in a heap. Buffy was at first very angry at Riley, but when Spike started moaning (even though it was probably from pain) Buffy realised that her situation may not be as bad as she first thought.
Spike looked up to see who the moron was that had landed on him, interrupting his very enjoyable dancing to his favourite CD and shoe lace tying.
'People are going to die...', he thought to himself. Spike looked over his shoulder, and into Buffy's backside. She was trying to get up, you see. Spike had stared at the particular part of Buffy so many times that he would have recognised it from a mile away.
"What's this I see before me?" he asked mischeivously.
"Depends on where you're looking", Buffy replied. She sounded devious in every sense of the word.
Both Buffy and Spike stood up at the same time, as "Spice up your life reached is dramatic conclusion. A cheer came up from the bus, as it pulled into the car park of... a McDonalds.
***
A comment: I don't know why all of the characters seem to think unusual things to themselves. That's just the way it is.
Spice World: I'd just like to point out that I don't own the Spice World CD, so I was just guessing about both the order of the songs, and what is actually on the CD. I just used the songs that I either like or the ones that fit the scene. Please don't mention the non-knowledge I have about the Spice Girls.
I love everyone!: Thanks for the compliment on my stupid comedy, Gman! It's actually what inspired me to computerise this part. And the reason the MacGuyver is the one who "helps out" is because I just wanted him to be there for some reason, and that was the first reason that came into my head. I suppose it would have been funnier if I'd made it a My Little Pony, or something...
***
When all of those looking for the Dragon Balls had entered the bus no one knew where they should sit, or who to sit next to. So they just stood in the aisle, frantically looking around for spare seats.
Suddenly Buffy recognised someone she knew. "Oh my God, Spike!" she exclaimed, yelling out to the bleachy blonde vampire who was presently looking through a rather graphic pornographic magazine called "Playvamp".
"Slayer!" Spike replied, and proceeded to blush a lovely pink. He attempted to hide the magazine in a large purple backpack, which was resting next to his feet. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm not allowed to tell, because it's a secret", said Buffy. "But I'll tell you anyway, if... you let me sit next to you."
"Be my guest", said Spike, in a very evil sounding voice.
But then Riley piped up. "Buffy...", he whined. "I thought you were going to sit with meeee..."
"Sorry Riley", Buffy replied, "but I just don't think that there's room on these small bus seats for you AND someone else. You are pretty fat, after all."
After pondering Buffy's statement for awhile Riley realised that she was right, and so he sat down in an extra large seat up the front by himself.
"Alrighty everybody, the last person sitting down has to stay behind and knit pot holders!" Gohan yelled angrily because he wanted to get moving, and also because he really needed some new potholders.
There was a scrambling for seats. Mulder ended up next to his new girlfriend Lois, the Planeteers squashed across the back seat, the two little anime boys (Snaps and Gohan) sat together, Clark sat next to MacGuyver, Fat Naked Riley was already sitting by himself, and Matt got the driver's seat (as he's driving). And of course Buffy was sitting next to Spike, unsuitably close to him, especially since she's meant to be going out with Riley.
"So, what was this big secret, pet?" Spike asked Buffy.
"We are looking for... the Dragon Balls!" Buffy whispered in his ear, just before she licked it.
"Ah!" Spike shouted (but pretty quietly). "The Dragon's Balls? And also, why did you lick my ear?"
"Um, speed bump", Buffy lied. "And it's Dragon Balls, not Dragon's Balls."
"But the bus isn't moving", Spike said to himself, but because of Buffy's super slayer hearing she heard him. She pretended she didn't.
"So, anyway", Spike continued, "what are the Dragon Balls?"
"They are apparently really cool. You can make wishes on them! Do you wanna come?" Buffy asked.
Spike pondered this. For about one and a half seconds. What kind of pathetic fool passes up the opportunity to spend extra time with the object of their affection?
"Sure. That could be a bit of fun", he told Buffy. "That sounds like an alright deal."
Buffy was pleased.
'Now begins the seduction', she thought to herself, and smiled to herself.
Meanwhile, Snaps had moved to his own seat, as Gohan had the unusual habit of elbowing him in the side every 22 seconds and then making a strange cat sound. After five minutes of waiting for the bus to leave he had gotten so sick of it that he had gone to talk to Matt, who was still trying to figure out how to drive the bus. Or maybe he was just trying to figure out how to start it. He had never driven a bus before, after all.
"Come on Matt, you can do it!" said Snaps, urging him on.
"I know that!" Matt replied, slightly annoyed. "I've been trying to see the pictures in the bleached guys, magazine by looking in the rear view mirror. I suppose we should leave now, though. We really don't want to make Gohan mad. He's not quite all there, and really freaks me out."
And with that thought in mind Matt started the bus and began a slow trek down the road, on a mission for the Dragon Balls. A cheer went up from the crowd, because they were excited about watching the orgy the Planeteers were having on the back seat. But it was over almost before it began, and so everyone went back to what they had been doing before all the fun started: virtually nothing.
After a few minutes Clark realised two things. The first was that Willy (the deceased bus driver) had left his wish Wellingtons sitting, unattended, at the front of the bus. The second thing that Clark noticed was that there was no music playing. Music is ALWAYS playing during a bus trip. But he wanted to take care of the most important of his two realisations first.
"Hey everyone!" he shouted, sounding excited. "We need music!"
"Don't worry, I have the best CD ever!" Spike yelled back. He took a CD from his back pack and handed it over to Matt, who placed it in the Super Special Bus CD System (whilst driving). Music began to play. Spike's CD was... Spice World!
The first song came on, and it was "Goodbye". Because everyone is stupid they thought that it was the most romantic song ever, and they all got up to dance. Mulder danced with his new girlfriend Lois, Linka danced with Wheeler, Marti danced with Gee, Quami danced with himself, Gohan danced with Snaps (even though they now hate each other), and Buffy continued with her plan of seduction by asking Spike to dance. Riley was really jealous, until he noticed that MacGuyver was available. Matt was about to get up and dance as well when he too realised two things. The first was that he needed to drive the bus, and the second was that that hot chick Mac was gone.
"Oh well", he said to himself. "She probably got distracted by a really big navy uniform or something. It's not like anyone liked her anyway."
Clark wasn't dancing. He'd always hated the Spice Girls. Now, what had he realised before? That's it! Clark jumped to his feet, and wended his way carefully to the from of the bus, so as not to disrupt the scary crowd still dancing to Spice World in the bus aisle. Once he reached the front Clark pounced on the Wellingtons, lying discarded by the door. Clutching them to his chest, he ran back to his seat, again trying hard to avoid the dancers. He sat down and put the Wellingtons on his feet.
'No one can get them if I'm wearing them!' he thought to himself triumphantly, as his feet were squished beyond recognition. They had previously belonged to a six year old, after all. The Wellingtons that is, not his feet.
On the dance floor/bus aisle Buffy and Spike were dancing way too close for two people who are meant to be enemies. Riley stared at them, jealous of how close they seemed to be. He began chanting to himself, just to make him forget about the embarrassing display going on nearby.
'I'm a lumberjack, and I'm OK, I sleep all night and I work all day. I'm a lumberjack, and I'm OK, I sleep all night and I work all day. Ahh, that feels better', Riley thought. 'I think I might go to sleep now.'
And Riley fell asleep, his head cushioned by his enormous fat stomach.
"Goodbye" ended, and "Spice up your life" began blasting out of the speakers. Most of the rabid dancers had sat back down, having grown tired of the previous song after the second verse. But the new song, an old favourite, revived everyone's desire to dance their collective arses off, so there was a great stampede as they all rushed back to the dance floor. Riley, awoken from his thirty second sleep by the noisy crowd all singing, "People of the world! Spice up your life! Every boy and every girl! Spice up your life!" was annoyed, but then he remembered that this was one of his favourite songs, and almost as good as "Mm, bop", the greatest song of all time!
So Riley jumped to his feet and joined in the fun. He flopped in a really fat way over to Buffy, and did that hip bump thing with her. She flew through the air, landed on Spike who had bent down to tie his shoelace, and they both fell to the floor in a heap. Buffy was at first very angry at Riley, but when Spike started moaning (even though it was probably from pain) Buffy realised that her situation may not be as bad as she first thought.
Spike looked up to see who the moron was that had landed on him, interrupting his very enjoyable dancing to his favourite CD and shoe lace tying.
'People are going to die...', he thought to himself. Spike looked over his shoulder, and into Buffy's backside. She was trying to get up, you see. Spike had stared at the particular part of Buffy so many times that he would have recognised it from a mile away.
"What's this I see before me?" he asked mischeivously.
"Depends on where you're looking", Buffy replied. She sounded devious in every sense of the word.
Both Buffy and Spike stood up at the same time, as "Spice up your life reached is dramatic conclusion. A cheer came up from the bus, as it pulled into the car park of... a McDonalds.
***
A comment: I don't know why all of the characters seem to think unusual things to themselves. That's just the way it is.