Authors Notes: A Kinder Surprises is a chocolate egg with a toy you put
together yourself inside. There used to be a famous commercial for them
(famous where I am, anyway) on television all the time, where I little boy
asks his mother to bring him back "something exciting, something to play
with, and some chocolate" from the grocery store, to which his mother
replied that it wasn't possible to bring him back three surprises at once.
Of course, Kinder Surprise is the answer.
Misty's Song is off the 2BA Master Pokémon CD, as everyone in the whole world should know. It's really quite a nice song, if you ignore the fact that it's meant to be Misty singing about Ash. No song is going to help her. He's obviously in love with Gary Oak! Nicko is a brand of permanent marker/pen in Australia.
***
There was much sausage eating as Matt pulled the bus into a gas station. As he pulled up next to a gas pump, everyone rose to their feet... as a mark of respect for the cat that the bus had just run over. Oh, what a shame. "All out for a cup of coffee, etcetera", Matt called from the front of the bus. "Hurry up. And also, go to the bathroom. It's been about seven hours since our last stop." Everyone except Linka and Wheeler, who had both finished their sausages and fallen asleep again, left the bus. Matt stuck around to fill the gas tank (with gas) while the others went into the snack bar to buy some kind of beverage. You know, a drink.
Clark sat down by himself, holding his newly purchased carton of strawberry milk. He felt a dull pain in his feet. 'Strange', he thought to himself. 'My feet have been hurting since yesterday.' Clark looked down at his feet, and something dawned on him. Woah, bright sun. 'I've never gotten up this early before', he thought. 'And also, I'm wearing those Wish Wellingtons! I can't believe I forgot!' He rubbed his feet together once again, like he had so long ago.
MacGuyver was rifling through the box of Kinder Surprises, looking for what he believed to be the toy of toys. Reaching to the bottom of the box, MacGuyver felt something larger and rounder than a regular Kinder Surprise. Pulling it out, he was amazed at how shiny and gold it was. Holding it carefully in his hand, MacGuyver carried his precious find towards the counter, ready to pay big bucks for it. Halfway there Gohan stopped him. "Hey MacGuyver, what's that you've got there?" Gohan asked. "It's something lovely and gold", MacGuyver replied. "Wanna see?" Gohan nodded, so MacGuyver showed the ball to him. "Oh my God!" Gohan exclaimed. "That's a Dragon Ball! Note the six stars on it. Congratulations!" MacGuyver was very pleased with himself. "Attention everyone!" he called to the entire gas station. "I found a Dragon Ball! Come and congratulate me, my fellow skegs."
So MacGuyver's fellow skegs came to congratulate him. All that is, except Clark, who was still sitting in blissful silence with his strawberry milk and his Wish Wellingtons. And of course, Linka and Wheeler were still asleep on the bus. Quami wrote down the place that MacGuyver had found the Dragon Ball, and it (the Dragon Ball, not Quami or his notebook) was placed in a tissue-filled shoebox along with Mulder's find. Linda and Wheeler suddenly walked in, saw the Dragon Ball, and were excessively pleased.
Spike stood up to get everyone's attention. "You know what I think?" he announced in a questioning way. "No, what do you think?" asked Marti. "I think we should all have nametags", Spike replied. There was a general groan of "As if, retard", but in a nicer way. "No, come on you guys!" Spike whined. "Not our normal names, that would be pathetic. No, we should have code names, and wear them, so that no one knows exactly WHO is looking for the Dragon Balls. We can use my post- its." "Yeah, that's not a bad idea", Gohan relented. "But are you sure you don't have any of those 'hello my name is _______' stickers?" "Wait a second, I'll check", said Spike. He rifled through his backpack, and the surrounding skegs stood well back to avoid the gun. But unfortunately, Spike came up empty-handed. "I'm sorry", he said, "but I just don't have any."
Spike was most upset. He'd never needed to have outside assistance when looking for something. His backpack had failed him. Spike sat down and began to cry... out for nametags. "Nametags!" he called. There's some over there on a shelf, along with the tape and those coloured circle stickers that everyone sells but nobody buys", Lois pointed out. "And it's only $1.50 for a packet of twenty-four, too." Spike pulled out his wallet from the front pocket of his purple backpack. "No, Spike", said Lois. "Don't worry about it, I'll pay." And with that final comment, she strode over to the counter, carrying the precious nametags. Two packets, in fact. You can never be too careful when it comes to nametags.
"I think the person with the neatest writing should write out the name tags", suggested Marti. "Good plan", said Gohan, slapping Marti on the back in a friendly, guy way. ""But", said Spike, "it would probably be easiest to choose the best writing if we each write out the same poem, and then choose from that." "That is also a good plan", Buffy said to Spike, patting the top of his head with one hand and rubbing the back of his neck with the other. "But how do we choose a suitable poem?" "How about 'The Swing', by that old guy?" suggested Lois. I do like old guys, after all." "Nah, that's a pretty crappy one", replied Gohan. " I reckon we should go for some kind of limerick, because limericks are the best kind of poem ever!" "Oh, screw that", interrupted MacGuyver. "Let's just write out the chorus to "Misty's Song"."
So everyone borrowed a piece of paper and a Nicko pen from Spike. Why a Nicko? Because that's what name tags are always written with. As the fast yet neat writing commenced, a quiet scritch-scratch on paper could be heard throughout the gas station. From different places across the room the sound of Misty's song being hummed arose.
"I'm done!" announced Wheeler. "So am I", said Mulder. "I finished painting the table hours ago!" "That's... nice", said Matt. "Very good for you. Also, I'm finished as well." As everyone else was done as well, they all lined up their pieces of paper on a table. Everyone, that is, except... a dog lying on the floor that had decided to join in all the writing fun. Of course, not having any fingers, its piece of paper was just covered in drool. But that's really not surprising.
Each person looked at the different copies of "Misty's Song" in turn. "I think that Lois' writing of the song is best", said Snaps. "I think that I agree with you", agreed Matt. "Who else thinks that Lois wrote out the lovely "Misty's Song" in a lovely way?" Everyone raised their hands. Lois smiled and dropped a napkin. She had been attempting to neaten her smudged and messy make-up. "Well", announced Gohan, "it looks like you're writing our name tags, Lois." "I don't know what to say!" Lois exclaimed. "Other than... pass me the name tags and writing utensils! It's time to get writing!" Spike passed Lois the nametags he had picked up earlier, collected all the Nicko's and handed Lois one. "Thank you, kind sir", Lois said to Spike. "As a thank you, your code name shall be written first." "Why, that's so nice of you Lois!" replied Spike. "I've already chosen my new fabulous code name. Please write 'The fabulous bad-ass vampire guy' on my nametag!" Lois wrote Spike's special name on his nametag, peeled it off the backing shit, and handed it to Spike. He grabbed it off her and stuck it on the front of his duster. Then he smiled at Lois. Uhoh.
Lois turned from Spike to those without nametags. "Who's next?" she asked them eagerly. "Me, me, me, oh God, please pick me!" exclaimed Snaps. "Alright, go ahead", prompted Lois, "what do you want your code name to be?" "I want my code name to be 'Pokéboy' please," answered Snaps. Lois wrote 'Pokéboy on a nametag in her neat and splendid writing, peeled it off the backing shit and handed it to Snaps. He took the nametag and placed it carefully in the middle of his forehead. Then he smiled widely and faded into the background.
"Can I go next?" asked Quami. Lois nodded. "Goodies", said Quami. "Please write 'The Sacred Man' on my name tag, Lois." So she did. Lois peeled Quami's nametag off the backing shit and handed it to him. Quami placed it on the front of his shirt, the place that nametags are supposed to go. "Who's next?" asked Lois. "That would be me", Buffy said. "I want mine to say 'Child of a dead woman', please." And so it was done, and the nametag writing continued. When everyone's nametag was finished Linka's said 'My heart will go on', Marti's said 'Freddie Prinze Jnr', Gee's said 'Ocean Girl', Wheeler's said 'Fireman Sam', Clark's said 'Super Dude', MacGuyver's said 'Killer whale Animorph', Matt's said 'Dick Tracy' and Gohan's said 'Possible ruler of all things special'. In a final movement, Lois wrote out a nametag for herself that said 'Lady Diana Spencer, d. 1997'.
"Excuse me", said Mulder quietly, "but you forgot me!" "Oh, that's right", Lois replied. "Here, you can have this one." Lois handed Mulder a nametag that said 'A Crazy, Crazy Man'. Mulder read it, blushed some sort of colour, and stuck it on the inside of his jacket where n one could see it. You see, it's rather embarrassing to announce your craziness to the entire world.
"Alright everyone", announced Gohan to the newly nametagged group. "We've definitely spent quite enough time at this gas station. Who thinks that it's time to move onto somewhere new and exciting?" Everyone raised their hand except Clark, who was currently trying to catch the eye of the girl at the counter. Unsurprisingly, she was ignoring him. "Looks like we're leaving, then", said Buffy, as everyone stood up. Spike collected his Nicko from Lois and put it back in his backpack. Lois picked up the remaining nametags and put them wherever she had been keeping her typewriter all this time. In single file for no reason at all, the skegs left the gas station and returned to the bus, expertly ignoring the parking ticket stuck under one of the windshield wipers. Buffy reached up and patted the foot of the frozen Fat Naked Riley statue as she hummed a jaunty tune to herself. As the bus doors closed the skegs took their seats.
Meanwhile, somewhere else that could possibly have been a different gas station to the one that the skegs had just vacated, someone covered themselves with gasoline then lit a match. They'd had a really rough day.
Misty's Song is off the 2BA Master Pokémon CD, as everyone in the whole world should know. It's really quite a nice song, if you ignore the fact that it's meant to be Misty singing about Ash. No song is going to help her. He's obviously in love with Gary Oak! Nicko is a brand of permanent marker/pen in Australia.
***
There was much sausage eating as Matt pulled the bus into a gas station. As he pulled up next to a gas pump, everyone rose to their feet... as a mark of respect for the cat that the bus had just run over. Oh, what a shame. "All out for a cup of coffee, etcetera", Matt called from the front of the bus. "Hurry up. And also, go to the bathroom. It's been about seven hours since our last stop." Everyone except Linka and Wheeler, who had both finished their sausages and fallen asleep again, left the bus. Matt stuck around to fill the gas tank (with gas) while the others went into the snack bar to buy some kind of beverage. You know, a drink.
Clark sat down by himself, holding his newly purchased carton of strawberry milk. He felt a dull pain in his feet. 'Strange', he thought to himself. 'My feet have been hurting since yesterday.' Clark looked down at his feet, and something dawned on him. Woah, bright sun. 'I've never gotten up this early before', he thought. 'And also, I'm wearing those Wish Wellingtons! I can't believe I forgot!' He rubbed his feet together once again, like he had so long ago.
MacGuyver was rifling through the box of Kinder Surprises, looking for what he believed to be the toy of toys. Reaching to the bottom of the box, MacGuyver felt something larger and rounder than a regular Kinder Surprise. Pulling it out, he was amazed at how shiny and gold it was. Holding it carefully in his hand, MacGuyver carried his precious find towards the counter, ready to pay big bucks for it. Halfway there Gohan stopped him. "Hey MacGuyver, what's that you've got there?" Gohan asked. "It's something lovely and gold", MacGuyver replied. "Wanna see?" Gohan nodded, so MacGuyver showed the ball to him. "Oh my God!" Gohan exclaimed. "That's a Dragon Ball! Note the six stars on it. Congratulations!" MacGuyver was very pleased with himself. "Attention everyone!" he called to the entire gas station. "I found a Dragon Ball! Come and congratulate me, my fellow skegs."
So MacGuyver's fellow skegs came to congratulate him. All that is, except Clark, who was still sitting in blissful silence with his strawberry milk and his Wish Wellingtons. And of course, Linka and Wheeler were still asleep on the bus. Quami wrote down the place that MacGuyver had found the Dragon Ball, and it (the Dragon Ball, not Quami or his notebook) was placed in a tissue-filled shoebox along with Mulder's find. Linda and Wheeler suddenly walked in, saw the Dragon Ball, and were excessively pleased.
Spike stood up to get everyone's attention. "You know what I think?" he announced in a questioning way. "No, what do you think?" asked Marti. "I think we should all have nametags", Spike replied. There was a general groan of "As if, retard", but in a nicer way. "No, come on you guys!" Spike whined. "Not our normal names, that would be pathetic. No, we should have code names, and wear them, so that no one knows exactly WHO is looking for the Dragon Balls. We can use my post- its." "Yeah, that's not a bad idea", Gohan relented. "But are you sure you don't have any of those 'hello my name is _______' stickers?" "Wait a second, I'll check", said Spike. He rifled through his backpack, and the surrounding skegs stood well back to avoid the gun. But unfortunately, Spike came up empty-handed. "I'm sorry", he said, "but I just don't have any."
Spike was most upset. He'd never needed to have outside assistance when looking for something. His backpack had failed him. Spike sat down and began to cry... out for nametags. "Nametags!" he called. There's some over there on a shelf, along with the tape and those coloured circle stickers that everyone sells but nobody buys", Lois pointed out. "And it's only $1.50 for a packet of twenty-four, too." Spike pulled out his wallet from the front pocket of his purple backpack. "No, Spike", said Lois. "Don't worry about it, I'll pay." And with that final comment, she strode over to the counter, carrying the precious nametags. Two packets, in fact. You can never be too careful when it comes to nametags.
"I think the person with the neatest writing should write out the name tags", suggested Marti. "Good plan", said Gohan, slapping Marti on the back in a friendly, guy way. ""But", said Spike, "it would probably be easiest to choose the best writing if we each write out the same poem, and then choose from that." "That is also a good plan", Buffy said to Spike, patting the top of his head with one hand and rubbing the back of his neck with the other. "But how do we choose a suitable poem?" "How about 'The Swing', by that old guy?" suggested Lois. I do like old guys, after all." "Nah, that's a pretty crappy one", replied Gohan. " I reckon we should go for some kind of limerick, because limericks are the best kind of poem ever!" "Oh, screw that", interrupted MacGuyver. "Let's just write out the chorus to "Misty's Song"."
So everyone borrowed a piece of paper and a Nicko pen from Spike. Why a Nicko? Because that's what name tags are always written with. As the fast yet neat writing commenced, a quiet scritch-scratch on paper could be heard throughout the gas station. From different places across the room the sound of Misty's song being hummed arose.
"I'm done!" announced Wheeler. "So am I", said Mulder. "I finished painting the table hours ago!" "That's... nice", said Matt. "Very good for you. Also, I'm finished as well." As everyone else was done as well, they all lined up their pieces of paper on a table. Everyone, that is, except... a dog lying on the floor that had decided to join in all the writing fun. Of course, not having any fingers, its piece of paper was just covered in drool. But that's really not surprising.
Each person looked at the different copies of "Misty's Song" in turn. "I think that Lois' writing of the song is best", said Snaps. "I think that I agree with you", agreed Matt. "Who else thinks that Lois wrote out the lovely "Misty's Song" in a lovely way?" Everyone raised their hands. Lois smiled and dropped a napkin. She had been attempting to neaten her smudged and messy make-up. "Well", announced Gohan, "it looks like you're writing our name tags, Lois." "I don't know what to say!" Lois exclaimed. "Other than... pass me the name tags and writing utensils! It's time to get writing!" Spike passed Lois the nametags he had picked up earlier, collected all the Nicko's and handed Lois one. "Thank you, kind sir", Lois said to Spike. "As a thank you, your code name shall be written first." "Why, that's so nice of you Lois!" replied Spike. "I've already chosen my new fabulous code name. Please write 'The fabulous bad-ass vampire guy' on my nametag!" Lois wrote Spike's special name on his nametag, peeled it off the backing shit, and handed it to Spike. He grabbed it off her and stuck it on the front of his duster. Then he smiled at Lois. Uhoh.
Lois turned from Spike to those without nametags. "Who's next?" she asked them eagerly. "Me, me, me, oh God, please pick me!" exclaimed Snaps. "Alright, go ahead", prompted Lois, "what do you want your code name to be?" "I want my code name to be 'Pokéboy' please," answered Snaps. Lois wrote 'Pokéboy on a nametag in her neat and splendid writing, peeled it off the backing shit and handed it to Snaps. He took the nametag and placed it carefully in the middle of his forehead. Then he smiled widely and faded into the background.
"Can I go next?" asked Quami. Lois nodded. "Goodies", said Quami. "Please write 'The Sacred Man' on my name tag, Lois." So she did. Lois peeled Quami's nametag off the backing shit and handed it to him. Quami placed it on the front of his shirt, the place that nametags are supposed to go. "Who's next?" asked Lois. "That would be me", Buffy said. "I want mine to say 'Child of a dead woman', please." And so it was done, and the nametag writing continued. When everyone's nametag was finished Linka's said 'My heart will go on', Marti's said 'Freddie Prinze Jnr', Gee's said 'Ocean Girl', Wheeler's said 'Fireman Sam', Clark's said 'Super Dude', MacGuyver's said 'Killer whale Animorph', Matt's said 'Dick Tracy' and Gohan's said 'Possible ruler of all things special'. In a final movement, Lois wrote out a nametag for herself that said 'Lady Diana Spencer, d. 1997'.
"Excuse me", said Mulder quietly, "but you forgot me!" "Oh, that's right", Lois replied. "Here, you can have this one." Lois handed Mulder a nametag that said 'A Crazy, Crazy Man'. Mulder read it, blushed some sort of colour, and stuck it on the inside of his jacket where n one could see it. You see, it's rather embarrassing to announce your craziness to the entire world.
"Alright everyone", announced Gohan to the newly nametagged group. "We've definitely spent quite enough time at this gas station. Who thinks that it's time to move onto somewhere new and exciting?" Everyone raised their hand except Clark, who was currently trying to catch the eye of the girl at the counter. Unsurprisingly, she was ignoring him. "Looks like we're leaving, then", said Buffy, as everyone stood up. Spike collected his Nicko from Lois and put it back in his backpack. Lois picked up the remaining nametags and put them wherever she had been keeping her typewriter all this time. In single file for no reason at all, the skegs left the gas station and returned to the bus, expertly ignoring the parking ticket stuck under one of the windshield wipers. Buffy reached up and patted the foot of the frozen Fat Naked Riley statue as she hummed a jaunty tune to herself. As the bus doors closed the skegs took their seats.
Meanwhile, somewhere else that could possibly have been a different gas station to the one that the skegs had just vacated, someone covered themselves with gasoline then lit a match. They'd had a really rough day.