Author's Notes: Are shopping centres called that everywhere? What I'm
referring to is a mall. The one with lots and lots of shops that has a
happy vibe (and often more than one CD store, yay!), and usually a few
department stores. K-Mart? That's just Wal-mart, only... K! And in
Australia! I don't know if they're actually in England. I was being
creative. On a completely different note, I don't actually know if
children are allowed in English pubs. I made up my imaginary knowledge,
and I'm sticking with it.
Ug boots are sheepskin-lined shoes that are not acceptable in public unless you live in Canberra and it's winter. I don't live there, but I've visited, and it's really a shoe-ed site to behold. Just think slippers with rubber soles if you don't know what I mean.
Trolleys? Shopping carts. Everyone knows that, I think.
***
"Alright, I think we'll spend some of my money on clothes first", said Spike. "Then we can have some brunch", he added, nodding at Lindsay. "Then we'll find a hotel, and then", Spike paused for effect, "Sightseeing!" Everyone cheered, because Spike's plan sounds like a pretty good one. "Where are we getting our clothes?" asked Clark. "And can we hurry up about it?" "Yeah, let's hurry up a little", agreed Matt, which is strange because no one ever agrees with Clark. It must be because his shirt has no sleeves and it's snowing. If I were him I'd want to hurry up too.
"I say we go to that strategically placed shopping centre over there", suggested Gee. "Yeah, let's go", agreed Lindsay, and so he and the skegs made the long, hundred-metre journey to the shopping centre. In the door they went, and when they noticed a sign that said 'K Mart, this way', they happily followed it. "Yay, K-Mart!" exclaimed Lois. "The greatest shop of all. Who knew they had them in England?" "I sure didn't", said Buffy as the skegs (and Lindsay) entered the large doors of K-Mart. "Where do we want to go first?" asked Matt. "Everyone split up, and get what you want, and we'll meet at the register in twenty-five minutes. See you all then!" decided Spike. The skegs dispersed, to choose some warm clothes to where because London is really chilly.
(35 minutes later [because you know, everyone's late])
The skegs arrived at the cash register where Spike was waiting, each pushing a trolley with a few (or occasionally more) items in them. "It's about time!" called Spike when he saw them coming. "I've been waiting for ten minutes!" "We're sorry", said Lois. "Or, at least, Mulder and I are. "Yeah, we are too", said Wheeler and Linka. "Yeah, is too", said everyone else. "Well, that's okay then, I forgive you", said Spike. "Now let's see what you got!"
Matt reached into his trolley and pulled out... "Detachable sleeves!" he exclaimed. "So now I don't have to take my favourite sweater vest off!" Then Matt grabbed the only other item in his trolley that was bigger than a bread box. "This here is another thing I want", Matt continued. "It's a lovely furry coat, just like that one that Harry from 3rd Rock from the Sun has! It looked really warm!" Everyone was severely impressed by Matt's coat. "I really like your coat, Matt", said Lindsay. "Your name IS MATT, isn't it?" "Yes, my name is Matt", replied Matt. "Thanks for the compliment, Mr McDonald." "PLEASE, CALL ME LINDSAY", said Lindsay, trying to keep himself under control. "Oh, okay", said Matt. "Did you get anything else, Matt?" asked Gohan, not noticing that yes, items still remained in Matt's trolley. Cause, you know, Gohan's a moron. "Why yes, I did", replied Matt. "I have these", he pointed, "mittens, and these", he pointed again, "ug boots." "That's great", said Spike. "But as this will take much too long if everyone displays their new clothes one at a time, how about you all put them on the check out, and as the nice lady puts them in bags we can each see everyone else's purchases."
No one had any real problem with this suggestion, so they all lined up at one register, holding their soon-to-be-new clothes so that there were no trolleys in the way. Spike came up the rear (ew, no! Not that way!) because he was paying for the whole enterprise. Matt put his lovely items up on the counter and the checkout chick, who's nametag read 'Janet' (but that may not be her name), scanned them, typed something on the cash register and placed the detachable sleaves, Harry-style coat, mittens and ug boots in a plastic bag. She then put the full bag to one side. "Yay, my clothes are purchased!" exclaimed Matt, as he skipped/ran through the stolen object detector to stand next to his newly purchased items.
Up next for the buying fun was MacGuyver. He placed a sports coat, a Star Trek-style sweater and a beaney on the counter. "Are you SURE that's what you want?" asked checkout chick Janet. "I mean, it's pretty cold out there." "I know it is", replied MacGuyver. "But I'm sure this enough to keep me warm during the long winter nights. Unless, of course, you'd like to help out?" Janet laughed at MacGuyver for a while, and that was the end of that. MacGuyver's jacket, sweater and beaney were scanned and put in a plastic bag. That plastic bag was then placed next to Matt and his new clothes.
"Next up, me!" announced Marti with his monkey; he placed a dressing gown, some thick socks, and a hat with earflaps on the counter. Janet scanned them, put them in a bag and placed it next to Matt and his bag (as well as MacGuyver and his bag).
Buffy stepped up to the plate, also known as the counter. On said counter she placed a long-sleeved turtleneck because, although she really admires Matt's shirt, it's a little too chilly for something sleeveless. Janet scanned the turtleneck, put it in a bag, and placed the bag with the others. As Mulder was next in line he also put his purchases (a priest's robe cause they're really warm, and some leg warmers) on the counter, and they were bagged. Then that bag was transferred to the other bags. Mulder and Buffy joined Matt, MacGuyver and Marti on the other side of the counter.
"This is getting ridiculous", said Clark. "Why do we have to see what everyone bought? It'll become quite obvious once everyone puts their clothes on anyway. Let's just shove our clothes through quickly." "Oh, alright", agreed Linka. "Yeah, I was getting bored anyway", said someone else.
So everyone put their stuff on the counter quickly, and Janet moved all of the warm stuff past the scanner and put them into plastic bags, then transferred the bags to where she had left that which she had already scanned and bagged. Visible amongst the purchases was a fur-lined jacket, another hat with earflaps and some tiger-striped leggings with stirrups attached. The remaining skegs made the short trek to join the others. Spike stayed behind to pay Janet. "That'll be £525.98, thanks", said Janet. Spike gave Janet £530, and she gave him £4.02 change. "Thanks, luv", Spike said. Would you like to come to brunch with my friends and I?" "I would", Janet replied, "but I've got to work until three this afternoon. Maybe some other time?" "Sure thing, pet", Spike said, disappointed because Janet's pretty hot and Buffy aint putting out. "But I've just got ask, did anyone ever tell you that you look exactly like as Susan Sarandon?" "Yeah, I get that a lot", Janet admitted.
Spike joined the skegs, because they were coming apart. "I think it's time for us to put our new clothes on", he announced. "Yeah, let's do that!" agreed MacGuyver. "But where?" asked Lois. "How about those public toilets?" suggested Marti and his monkey, gesturing to the public toilets in question.
Everyone agreed, so they headed towards the public toilets to do what had previously been discussed. Seventeen minutes later they emerged, clothed in all of their glory and all that was glorious. "Wow, you look great!" exclaimed Wheeler, in reference to his special friend Linka. "You too!" she replied, smiling very, very wide. "Yeah sure, we all look", said Lindsay. "But let's just get over all of the clothes and HAVE BRUNCH!"
Everyone agreed with the crazy evil lawyer, and so they began their search. But his time they weren't searching for Dragon Balls or Dragon's Balls, no sirree. This time the skegs and Lindsay were looking for a suitable brunch venue. "I think the best place for this many people would be an olde English pub", suggested Lindsay. "Or maybe a McDonalds." The skegs groaned. "I don't think any of us will be going back to McDonalds for a long time", said Marti's monkey. Yes, it can talk, but only once every 4.3299 months. So that's it from the monkey. Bye monkey. "What's wrong with McDonalds?" asked Lindsay the skegs that aren't Marti's monkey, because asking a monkey like that is just silly. "Well", replied Gohan, "there was an unusual incident involving a McDonalds, back in the country we were in before coming to this one. I don't want to talk about it. Ever."
Lindsay understood straight away. There had been several incidents in the past that had involved himself, McDonalds, and public nudity. But more about that later.
"Alright, I'm taking you all out to a pub!" Lindsay exclaimed, extremely thankful that he was going to finally get some brunch after waiting for so very long. Of course, Snaps had to dash his hopes and shatter his dreams. "Uh, excuse me everybody", he stuttered, because he has a speech impediment. "Matt, Gohan and I can't go into a pub. We're just not old enough." "You stupid little boy!" yelled Clark, this time reversing the roles by getting in Snaps face before Snaps could get in his. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that underage people like you can get into British pubs, you just can't drink anything? Some people are so idiotic that I can hardly stand it. I mean really, wise up, assboy." Snaps was extremely upset by Clarks' harsh words, and so he quickly moved away from him.
"Well, it looks like we're going to a pub, then", said the previously dead Quami. "I saw one on the way to K-Mart called Ye Olde English Pub!" said Mulder. "And I DO mean old! And English! And a pub! Ah hahahahaha!" The skegs and Lindsay were afraid. "That's... nice, Mulder", said Buffy, just as afraid as the other skegs. "And on other, less worrying topics, let's get going!"
Buffy began walking in the direction of Ye Olde English Pub (no, Mulder did NOT imagine it) and the skegs quickly followed. Thirty seconds later (because the pub was nearby) the skegs arrived at Ye Olde English Pub. They entered the medieval-style decorated doors one at a time, then sat down at four tables in close proximity to one another. At table one the five Planeteers shared one menu, as Mulder and Clark had joined forces in an effort to rid the world of an unnecessarily large number of menus that plague many a-restaurant. At table two the occupants, Spike, Buffy, MacGuyver and Lois were discussing what exactly would be the best food for their scrumptious brunch.
In the netherworld (well, really at a different table) Mulder and Clark were playing with their menus while at the same time trying to hide them from Matt, Gohan and Snaps, who were sitting at (yes that's right!) table number four. Well, Mulder was playing with the menus (and trying to build a tower out of them). Clark was trying to remember why he had decided to join forces with the crazy, crazy man to begin with. No stack of menus is worth this much.
Lindsay stood, sad and alone, because he had no idea where to sit. But suddenly his problem was solved. "Yo Lindsay, my man!" yelled Spike. "Come over here and sit with us!" Spike gestured to the people sitting at his table, but in a nice. Lindsay, relieved that he didn't have to go about the embarrassing task of actually ASKING if he could sit with people, hurried over to Spike's table and grabbed the last chair. And then he sat in it. Mm, comfy...
Ug boots are sheepskin-lined shoes that are not acceptable in public unless you live in Canberra and it's winter. I don't live there, but I've visited, and it's really a shoe-ed site to behold. Just think slippers with rubber soles if you don't know what I mean.
Trolleys? Shopping carts. Everyone knows that, I think.
***
"Alright, I think we'll spend some of my money on clothes first", said Spike. "Then we can have some brunch", he added, nodding at Lindsay. "Then we'll find a hotel, and then", Spike paused for effect, "Sightseeing!" Everyone cheered, because Spike's plan sounds like a pretty good one. "Where are we getting our clothes?" asked Clark. "And can we hurry up about it?" "Yeah, let's hurry up a little", agreed Matt, which is strange because no one ever agrees with Clark. It must be because his shirt has no sleeves and it's snowing. If I were him I'd want to hurry up too.
"I say we go to that strategically placed shopping centre over there", suggested Gee. "Yeah, let's go", agreed Lindsay, and so he and the skegs made the long, hundred-metre journey to the shopping centre. In the door they went, and when they noticed a sign that said 'K Mart, this way', they happily followed it. "Yay, K-Mart!" exclaimed Lois. "The greatest shop of all. Who knew they had them in England?" "I sure didn't", said Buffy as the skegs (and Lindsay) entered the large doors of K-Mart. "Where do we want to go first?" asked Matt. "Everyone split up, and get what you want, and we'll meet at the register in twenty-five minutes. See you all then!" decided Spike. The skegs dispersed, to choose some warm clothes to where because London is really chilly.
(35 minutes later [because you know, everyone's late])
The skegs arrived at the cash register where Spike was waiting, each pushing a trolley with a few (or occasionally more) items in them. "It's about time!" called Spike when he saw them coming. "I've been waiting for ten minutes!" "We're sorry", said Lois. "Or, at least, Mulder and I are. "Yeah, we are too", said Wheeler and Linka. "Yeah, is too", said everyone else. "Well, that's okay then, I forgive you", said Spike. "Now let's see what you got!"
Matt reached into his trolley and pulled out... "Detachable sleeves!" he exclaimed. "So now I don't have to take my favourite sweater vest off!" Then Matt grabbed the only other item in his trolley that was bigger than a bread box. "This here is another thing I want", Matt continued. "It's a lovely furry coat, just like that one that Harry from 3rd Rock from the Sun has! It looked really warm!" Everyone was severely impressed by Matt's coat. "I really like your coat, Matt", said Lindsay. "Your name IS MATT, isn't it?" "Yes, my name is Matt", replied Matt. "Thanks for the compliment, Mr McDonald." "PLEASE, CALL ME LINDSAY", said Lindsay, trying to keep himself under control. "Oh, okay", said Matt. "Did you get anything else, Matt?" asked Gohan, not noticing that yes, items still remained in Matt's trolley. Cause, you know, Gohan's a moron. "Why yes, I did", replied Matt. "I have these", he pointed, "mittens, and these", he pointed again, "ug boots." "That's great", said Spike. "But as this will take much too long if everyone displays their new clothes one at a time, how about you all put them on the check out, and as the nice lady puts them in bags we can each see everyone else's purchases."
No one had any real problem with this suggestion, so they all lined up at one register, holding their soon-to-be-new clothes so that there were no trolleys in the way. Spike came up the rear (ew, no! Not that way!) because he was paying for the whole enterprise. Matt put his lovely items up on the counter and the checkout chick, who's nametag read 'Janet' (but that may not be her name), scanned them, typed something on the cash register and placed the detachable sleaves, Harry-style coat, mittens and ug boots in a plastic bag. She then put the full bag to one side. "Yay, my clothes are purchased!" exclaimed Matt, as he skipped/ran through the stolen object detector to stand next to his newly purchased items.
Up next for the buying fun was MacGuyver. He placed a sports coat, a Star Trek-style sweater and a beaney on the counter. "Are you SURE that's what you want?" asked checkout chick Janet. "I mean, it's pretty cold out there." "I know it is", replied MacGuyver. "But I'm sure this enough to keep me warm during the long winter nights. Unless, of course, you'd like to help out?" Janet laughed at MacGuyver for a while, and that was the end of that. MacGuyver's jacket, sweater and beaney were scanned and put in a plastic bag. That plastic bag was then placed next to Matt and his new clothes.
"Next up, me!" announced Marti with his monkey; he placed a dressing gown, some thick socks, and a hat with earflaps on the counter. Janet scanned them, put them in a bag and placed it next to Matt and his bag (as well as MacGuyver and his bag).
Buffy stepped up to the plate, also known as the counter. On said counter she placed a long-sleeved turtleneck because, although she really admires Matt's shirt, it's a little too chilly for something sleeveless. Janet scanned the turtleneck, put it in a bag, and placed the bag with the others. As Mulder was next in line he also put his purchases (a priest's robe cause they're really warm, and some leg warmers) on the counter, and they were bagged. Then that bag was transferred to the other bags. Mulder and Buffy joined Matt, MacGuyver and Marti on the other side of the counter.
"This is getting ridiculous", said Clark. "Why do we have to see what everyone bought? It'll become quite obvious once everyone puts their clothes on anyway. Let's just shove our clothes through quickly." "Oh, alright", agreed Linka. "Yeah, I was getting bored anyway", said someone else.
So everyone put their stuff on the counter quickly, and Janet moved all of the warm stuff past the scanner and put them into plastic bags, then transferred the bags to where she had left that which she had already scanned and bagged. Visible amongst the purchases was a fur-lined jacket, another hat with earflaps and some tiger-striped leggings with stirrups attached. The remaining skegs made the short trek to join the others. Spike stayed behind to pay Janet. "That'll be £525.98, thanks", said Janet. Spike gave Janet £530, and she gave him £4.02 change. "Thanks, luv", Spike said. Would you like to come to brunch with my friends and I?" "I would", Janet replied, "but I've got to work until three this afternoon. Maybe some other time?" "Sure thing, pet", Spike said, disappointed because Janet's pretty hot and Buffy aint putting out. "But I've just got ask, did anyone ever tell you that you look exactly like as Susan Sarandon?" "Yeah, I get that a lot", Janet admitted.
Spike joined the skegs, because they were coming apart. "I think it's time for us to put our new clothes on", he announced. "Yeah, let's do that!" agreed MacGuyver. "But where?" asked Lois. "How about those public toilets?" suggested Marti and his monkey, gesturing to the public toilets in question.
Everyone agreed, so they headed towards the public toilets to do what had previously been discussed. Seventeen minutes later they emerged, clothed in all of their glory and all that was glorious. "Wow, you look great!" exclaimed Wheeler, in reference to his special friend Linka. "You too!" she replied, smiling very, very wide. "Yeah sure, we all look", said Lindsay. "But let's just get over all of the clothes and HAVE BRUNCH!"
Everyone agreed with the crazy evil lawyer, and so they began their search. But his time they weren't searching for Dragon Balls or Dragon's Balls, no sirree. This time the skegs and Lindsay were looking for a suitable brunch venue. "I think the best place for this many people would be an olde English pub", suggested Lindsay. "Or maybe a McDonalds." The skegs groaned. "I don't think any of us will be going back to McDonalds for a long time", said Marti's monkey. Yes, it can talk, but only once every 4.3299 months. So that's it from the monkey. Bye monkey. "What's wrong with McDonalds?" asked Lindsay the skegs that aren't Marti's monkey, because asking a monkey like that is just silly. "Well", replied Gohan, "there was an unusual incident involving a McDonalds, back in the country we were in before coming to this one. I don't want to talk about it. Ever."
Lindsay understood straight away. There had been several incidents in the past that had involved himself, McDonalds, and public nudity. But more about that later.
"Alright, I'm taking you all out to a pub!" Lindsay exclaimed, extremely thankful that he was going to finally get some brunch after waiting for so very long. Of course, Snaps had to dash his hopes and shatter his dreams. "Uh, excuse me everybody", he stuttered, because he has a speech impediment. "Matt, Gohan and I can't go into a pub. We're just not old enough." "You stupid little boy!" yelled Clark, this time reversing the roles by getting in Snaps face before Snaps could get in his. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that underage people like you can get into British pubs, you just can't drink anything? Some people are so idiotic that I can hardly stand it. I mean really, wise up, assboy." Snaps was extremely upset by Clarks' harsh words, and so he quickly moved away from him.
"Well, it looks like we're going to a pub, then", said the previously dead Quami. "I saw one on the way to K-Mart called Ye Olde English Pub!" said Mulder. "And I DO mean old! And English! And a pub! Ah hahahahaha!" The skegs and Lindsay were afraid. "That's... nice, Mulder", said Buffy, just as afraid as the other skegs. "And on other, less worrying topics, let's get going!"
Buffy began walking in the direction of Ye Olde English Pub (no, Mulder did NOT imagine it) and the skegs quickly followed. Thirty seconds later (because the pub was nearby) the skegs arrived at Ye Olde English Pub. They entered the medieval-style decorated doors one at a time, then sat down at four tables in close proximity to one another. At table one the five Planeteers shared one menu, as Mulder and Clark had joined forces in an effort to rid the world of an unnecessarily large number of menus that plague many a-restaurant. At table two the occupants, Spike, Buffy, MacGuyver and Lois were discussing what exactly would be the best food for their scrumptious brunch.
In the netherworld (well, really at a different table) Mulder and Clark were playing with their menus while at the same time trying to hide them from Matt, Gohan and Snaps, who were sitting at (yes that's right!) table number four. Well, Mulder was playing with the menus (and trying to build a tower out of them). Clark was trying to remember why he had decided to join forces with the crazy, crazy man to begin with. No stack of menus is worth this much.
Lindsay stood, sad and alone, because he had no idea where to sit. But suddenly his problem was solved. "Yo Lindsay, my man!" yelled Spike. "Come over here and sit with us!" Spike gestured to the people sitting at his table, but in a nice. Lindsay, relieved that he didn't have to go about the embarrassing task of actually ASKING if he could sit with people, hurried over to Spike's table and grabbed the last chair. And then he sat in it. Mm, comfy...