Letting Love Go

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A/N – Not what you might think…

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Hello honey…

Well, how long has it been since we were first together then? About 4 years or so?

Actually it was 4 years yesterday; which was also my birthday.

Thanks for the presents and that. It really made a difference. Pity you had only realised when I stayed in bed crying until 2 in the afternoon. It wasn't the lack of presents; it was the fact that you didn't even remember. Such an important day and you don't remember.

The thing is, I can't understand you. You say that you love me to other people; but you don't show a shred of love when you're at home with me.

The only problem I have is how much I love you. I always have. That's why I put up with you not showing me love back. I cry every night because although it looks like I have you to others, I don't even know what goes on in your head. You sneak around and leave places without telling me. Its not the way I dreamed it would be.

When we first got together you were so lovely to me. You treated me kindly; you showed me that you cared. But over the years you just turned me into your little maid. You crushed my spirit so that I couldn't even speak out against you.

But now… the feisty spirit inside me has come out again.

You won't want to know why, but I'm going to tell you anyway. If you had listened to me, maybe you would have learnt earlier.

I've found someone else; and you know him quite well.

I'll give you a clue: the silent type? The one who lost his love and has never forgiven himself for it? Yes… you guessed right. Your friend; if you can say that you have ever had a friend.

I've fallen for Vincent, after Vincent has helped me through the depression that threatened to claim my life. Yes, you didn't know about that either did you? Maybe you should have been less involved in the past and your so-called dreams.

You didn't notice me in your life for the last year or so. Now, you probably won't notice that I'm gone.

Vincent feels guilty that I'm leaving you; but it's not his fault that I'm leaving. He just gave me an incentive. I have been leaving for the last six months.

I wouldn't worry about me; I'll be better off than I was with you. Of course, now you'll have to do your own shopping, your own cleaning; make your own cups of tea for the others when they actually come around.

I need more in my life than loneliness and love for a man who treats me as part of the furniture.

I'm 32 years old; I'm not young anymore. I have to go for happiness where I find it; and I have found it with Vincent. He's kind, considerate, caring and above all he treats me like an equal.

I'm sorry, but I can't stay like this for the rest of my life. I don't feel like the last four years of my life were wasted, but I need to move on.

You'll be better off with someone you really love. After Meteor, I thought that would become me; but it only took a month for things to come back to normal. I don't want normal; I want my life to be happy. And with you, that wont happen.

I'm going now; I borrowed a chocobo and Vincent and I are going to stay with Cloud and Tifa and their little girl. Please don't come looking for me. I'm leaving a letter so I don't have an argument to remember you by.

I'm sorry. I still love you; but I need to let you go. Nothing will change my mind; not that you'd come crawling back anyway. Goodbye Cid.

Shera xx