Disclaimer: Wish were mine but not
.^^ : Buy cyanide to rid the world of spiders!
^^. : Knives you cant do that!
: If you do that then no one will be left to watch
-_\\ : I'm to sexy for my spikes to sexy for my spikes so sexy yah!
LEGATO'S TALES FROM THE GIRLS BATHROOM
BY EVTSC
REM: Last we left these idi.wonderful people they just realized they were out of money and whose pay they would cut. Well they finally decided and the persons pay they cut was. -DRUM ROLL- -SHE UNFOLDS A PIECE OF PAPER AND READS IT, SHE SUDDENLY FROWNS- the person whose pay gets cut is Rem.Saverem.WHAT THE!!
ON THE STAGE LEGATO AND VASH SIT ON WOODEN BENCHES. LEGATO IS SIPPING SOME COCO MILLY JUST BROUGHT OUT
LEGATO: Hello and welcome to the end of life as you know it.
VASH: Uh Legato, you've said that before.
LEGATO: No I didn't. You just think I did. Besides our viewers will never know the difference. -LEGATO USES HIS MIND POWERS TO MAKE YOU FORGET THAT HE SAID THAT-
LEGATO: Hello.Humans are a total waste of life.thank you.
VASH: And I am Vash the Stampede Welcome one and all.
LEGATO: And today we are trying something new
KNIVES: I like to call it squish the spiders
MERYL: You do that and the show is cancelled.
KNIVES: You know Vash your spider girlfriend ruins all of my fun.
LEGATO: Today's topic is 'Why We Wear What We Wear.'
VASH: Couldn't you call it anything better.
KNIVES: Hey I thought of the name thank you very much Mr. Poopy Pants! VASH: I do not crap my pants thank you very much you goober butt.
MERYL: Your pay!!
LEGATO: Milly could you come onto the stage?
MILLY WALKS ONTO THE SET A PUDDING CUP IN HER HAND
MILLY: What do you need? More coco?
LEGATO: No. Why do you wear that ridiculous outfit you call clothes?
MILLY: Well I'm not for the whole dress idea. This way with the pants I am able to get to where I need to go. Plus the pockets in these baby's will hold my secret stash of pudding.
VASH: How much pudding can you get in your pockets?
MILLY: Let's see.a lot. Then I wear the brown overcoat thingy to help hide my stun gun.
LEGATO: I can see why.
MILLY: Then I wear this little blue shall thing because it just looks cute!
VASH: Anything else Milly?
MILLY: No that about covers it unless you wanna hear about my.
LEGATO: Thank you Milly. Now please go and finish your jobs for the day.
MILLY: Aye, aye Mr. Legato.
LEGATO: That was interesting.
VASH: Yea, who knew she hid pudding in her pockets.
LEGATO: -TURNS TO MIDVALLEY- So my minstrel Midvalley.
MIDVALLEY: Yes Mr. Legato?
LEGATO: Why did you choose that ensemble?
MIDVALLEY: Well the suit just makes me look better, while the pink shirt brings out the color in my eyes. And as an accessory I chose my lovely Sophia. A beautiful, shiny musical instrument that I can hardly leave home without, unless I am surrounded by many beautiful women.
VASH IS NOW MAKING HAND PUPPETS AND MAKING THEM ATTACK EACH OTHER
LEGATO: Thank you Midvalley.
VASH: That was very interesting. MIDVALLEY: Glad I could be of help. -GOES BACK TO PLAYING MUSIC-
LEGATO: Master.why did you choose that lovely outfit that suits you perfectly.
VASH: Yeah, Knives how's come you chose that? When you could have had something like my wonderful outfit!
KNIVES: First, I wouldn't be caught dead in that outfit. Second I like mine because it reveals that I have a great body that all the human trash scum wishes they could have. It also says I'm bent on destroying all the population as we know it.
VASH: But Knives, what's with the hole looking pluggy things?
KNIVES: Oh, those, those are where I.why should I tell you?
MILLY: Hey Mr. Knives,
KNIVES: Yes pudding spider?
MILLY: Yes, well where do you keep things I've noticed that you don't seem to have any pockets.
KNIVES: I wont discuss that with any spiders.
LEGATO: Thank you Mastah.
KNIVES: No problem.
VASH: Hey Meryl my love and joy and uh.all that other stuff!!
MERYL: Vash.
LEGATO: Please tell us boring meister why do you choose that?
MERYL: Well, let me think.
KNIVES: How do you keep it white? Wouldn't the stain start to stain it??
MILLY: Well one time I did laundry and everything turned pink.
DOMINIQUE: I wonder why.
MILLY: Well you see I put Mr. Vash's coat in with Meryl's dress and cape, oh and my shirt. So Meryl was pink for a day.
VASH: I remember that. Ya know Meryl you should wear pink more often it looks real cute on you with that dark hair and those eyes and it looks cute on short people.
MERYL: Shut up Vash.
LEGATO: Anyways please tell us why.
MERYL: Fine. The cape is to hold all fifty derringers. Plus it looks cool. The short skirt because long skirts don't let you do as much. The boots because heels don't let me get my job done.
VASH: Gee.I could see Meryl in heels cute! She'd be taller!!
MERYL: -GLARING AT VASH- Anyways the bow helps hold the cape tied shut at the neck and a white shirt to match.
LEGATO: What about the black hose things.
MERYL: Oh those are so perverts like Vash cant see my panties.
VASH: I've always wondered what they look like.
MILLY: If you wanted to know then why didn't you volunteer to do laundry?
MERYL: Shut up Milly!
WW: Why didn't you go through her dresser drawers?
VASH: Why didn't I ever think of these things?
MERYL: Shut up! Now can I get back to work?
LEGATO: Yes, yes.
KNIVES: Bon voyage! Senorita pissy pants!
MERYL JUST GLARES THEN FLIPS THEM ALL OFF AS SHE ENTERS HER OFFICE.
KNIVES: That's some spider you picked there Vash
VASH: Ya I know isn't she great? -HE LOOKS ALL DREAMY EYED AND SMILES-
LEGATO: So Wolfwood, why the black suit unshaven shaggy hair look for you?
WW: Well I just don't have any time to shave regularly that is. The chicks dig the shaggy hair; don't you see me get mauled by thousands of gorgeous women every time I step onto the street?
VASH: I always wondered who that was.I always thought it was Knives, because the girls got confused and thought he was me.
KNIVES: Like I'd have anything to do with those female spiders
WW: Anyways back to me here. The black suit helps people to notice that I am a priest. Plus the inside of this jacket helps hold all of my cigarettes.
VASH: Then where do you put your portable confessional?
WW: Oh that along with the scripts, go in my pants pocket.
VASH -EYES ARE HUGE-How do they fit in there?
WW: Glad you asked. You see my pockets are like a gateway to anther dimension. One that holds everything I need. For example if you ever see me without my cross it is hiding in my pocket. Oh and any ammo I need to refill my cross with.
VASH: Amazing where can I buy one of those?
WW: No where my friend. I had these babies's specially made.
VASH: So then who made them for you?
WW: Same people who made Knives' outfit.
VASH: -LOOKS TO KNIVES- Who made yours?
KNIVES: Same one who made all the Gung-Ho-Guns.
WW: And that about sums up my wonderful arrangement.
LEGATO: Thank you WW.
VASH: Who haven't we asked yet?
LEGATO: We haven't asked you my unintelligent co-host.
VASH: Me? -HE POINTS TO HIMSELF-
KNIVES: No your evil twin clone.
VASH: I have one?
KNIVES: No I lied.
VASH: Oh.
LEGATO: Get on with it already.
VASH: Ok. Well I kept the hair the same because Rem liked it this way and it helped me to remember her. The red coat for the red geranium which means determination. I chose the long coat look so I could have lots of room to move around and hide stuff. Then the boots.well as you all know from having seen my show in episode. -PLACES HIS HAND ON HIS CHIN AND THINKS.
WW: -PULLS A SCRIPT OUT OF HIS POCKET- Well according to this it was in episode three, Truth of Mistake. -HE PUTS THE SCRIPT BACK INTO HIS POCKET. IT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS NEVER THERE TO BEGIN WITH.
VASH: Hey thanks man! Well I use it to help get me out of any predicament that I cant use my gun or my head, or more importantly my good looks. -HE STRIKES A RIDICULOUS POSE AND PROCEEDES TO SHOW OFF HIS MUSCLES MUCH LIKE IN EPISODE TWO-
LEGATO: Okay, that is enough from you Vash.
VASH: But I haven't finished I still have to tell you about my favorite pair of boxers the ones with little donuts and fairies all over them.
LEGATO: There you just told them.
VASH: But they don't know that the donuts glow in the dark!
LEGATO: .
KNIVES: So my servant what about you?
VASH: Yeah what's with the spiky thing?
LEGATO: It comes in handy when you need something to roast your hotdog over an open flame, or to even poke someone in the eye with repetitively.
VASH: Ooooohhhh. Why do you have a creepy looking skull attached to your arm?
LEGATO: Oh you mean Fru-Fru?
WW: Fru.-SNICKER- Fru? -SNICKER SNICKER-
LEGATO: Yes Fru Fru is the remnants of a child hood friend who was destroyed by you.
VASH: Gee, now I actually feel sorry for you. You carry around a dead guy on your arm.
LEGATO: You shouldn't because Fru Fru here helps me along in my time of despair.
WW: Can I ask what exactly was -SNICKER- Fru Fru?
LEGATO: Fru Fru was my pet fuzzy pink bunny rabbit.
WW: Dahahahahah!! A fuzzy pink rabbit!! Oh that's just too good.
LEGATO: Shut your mouth! Never speak badly of bunny Fru Fru!
WW: Dahahahahah Bunny Fru Fru!!!
VASH: Well my peace loving folks time is up and Legato has to go get his overcoat dry-cleaned and bunny Fru Fru needs to get his rabbi shots.
ALL EXCEPT LEGATO BREAK OUT INTO HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER
VASH: Meryl!! I love you!!!
MERYL: Vash will you shut up! And end the show!!
KNIVES: Next week I shall have taken over the world and this show!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!! EVTSC: .
.^^ : World domination la la la
^^. : I LOVE YOU MERYL DO YOU LOVE ME!???
: VASH GO AWAY!!!
^_\\ : Mass chaos!!
LEGATO'S TALES FROM THE GIRLS BATHROOM
BY EVTSC
REM: Last we left these idi.wonderful people they just realized they were out of money and whose pay they would cut. Well they finally decided and the persons pay they cut was. -DRUM ROLL- -SHE UNFOLDS A PIECE OF PAPER AND READS IT, SHE SUDDENLY FROWNS- the person whose pay gets cut is Rem.Saverem.WHAT THE!!
ON THE STAGE LEGATO AND VASH SIT ON WOODEN BENCHES. LEGATO IS SIPPING SOME COCO MILLY JUST BROUGHT OUT
LEGATO: Hello and welcome to the end of life as you know it.
VASH: Uh Legato, you've said that before.
LEGATO: No I didn't. You just think I did. Besides our viewers will never know the difference. -LEGATO USES HIS MIND POWERS TO MAKE YOU FORGET THAT HE SAID THAT-
LEGATO: Hello.Humans are a total waste of life.thank you.
VASH: And I am Vash the Stampede Welcome one and all.
LEGATO: And today we are trying something new
KNIVES: I like to call it squish the spiders
MERYL: You do that and the show is cancelled.
KNIVES: You know Vash your spider girlfriend ruins all of my fun.
LEGATO: Today's topic is 'Why We Wear What We Wear.'
VASH: Couldn't you call it anything better.
KNIVES: Hey I thought of the name thank you very much Mr. Poopy Pants! VASH: I do not crap my pants thank you very much you goober butt.
MERYL: Your pay!!
LEGATO: Milly could you come onto the stage?
MILLY WALKS ONTO THE SET A PUDDING CUP IN HER HAND
MILLY: What do you need? More coco?
LEGATO: No. Why do you wear that ridiculous outfit you call clothes?
MILLY: Well I'm not for the whole dress idea. This way with the pants I am able to get to where I need to go. Plus the pockets in these baby's will hold my secret stash of pudding.
VASH: How much pudding can you get in your pockets?
MILLY: Let's see.a lot. Then I wear the brown overcoat thingy to help hide my stun gun.
LEGATO: I can see why.
MILLY: Then I wear this little blue shall thing because it just looks cute!
VASH: Anything else Milly?
MILLY: No that about covers it unless you wanna hear about my.
LEGATO: Thank you Milly. Now please go and finish your jobs for the day.
MILLY: Aye, aye Mr. Legato.
LEGATO: That was interesting.
VASH: Yea, who knew she hid pudding in her pockets.
LEGATO: -TURNS TO MIDVALLEY- So my minstrel Midvalley.
MIDVALLEY: Yes Mr. Legato?
LEGATO: Why did you choose that ensemble?
MIDVALLEY: Well the suit just makes me look better, while the pink shirt brings out the color in my eyes. And as an accessory I chose my lovely Sophia. A beautiful, shiny musical instrument that I can hardly leave home without, unless I am surrounded by many beautiful women.
VASH IS NOW MAKING HAND PUPPETS AND MAKING THEM ATTACK EACH OTHER
LEGATO: Thank you Midvalley.
VASH: That was very interesting. MIDVALLEY: Glad I could be of help. -GOES BACK TO PLAYING MUSIC-
LEGATO: Master.why did you choose that lovely outfit that suits you perfectly.
VASH: Yeah, Knives how's come you chose that? When you could have had something like my wonderful outfit!
KNIVES: First, I wouldn't be caught dead in that outfit. Second I like mine because it reveals that I have a great body that all the human trash scum wishes they could have. It also says I'm bent on destroying all the population as we know it.
VASH: But Knives, what's with the hole looking pluggy things?
KNIVES: Oh, those, those are where I.why should I tell you?
MILLY: Hey Mr. Knives,
KNIVES: Yes pudding spider?
MILLY: Yes, well where do you keep things I've noticed that you don't seem to have any pockets.
KNIVES: I wont discuss that with any spiders.
LEGATO: Thank you Mastah.
KNIVES: No problem.
VASH: Hey Meryl my love and joy and uh.all that other stuff!!
MERYL: Vash.
LEGATO: Please tell us boring meister why do you choose that?
MERYL: Well, let me think.
KNIVES: How do you keep it white? Wouldn't the stain start to stain it??
MILLY: Well one time I did laundry and everything turned pink.
DOMINIQUE: I wonder why.
MILLY: Well you see I put Mr. Vash's coat in with Meryl's dress and cape, oh and my shirt. So Meryl was pink for a day.
VASH: I remember that. Ya know Meryl you should wear pink more often it looks real cute on you with that dark hair and those eyes and it looks cute on short people.
MERYL: Shut up Vash.
LEGATO: Anyways please tell us why.
MERYL: Fine. The cape is to hold all fifty derringers. Plus it looks cool. The short skirt because long skirts don't let you do as much. The boots because heels don't let me get my job done.
VASH: Gee.I could see Meryl in heels cute! She'd be taller!!
MERYL: -GLARING AT VASH- Anyways the bow helps hold the cape tied shut at the neck and a white shirt to match.
LEGATO: What about the black hose things.
MERYL: Oh those are so perverts like Vash cant see my panties.
VASH: I've always wondered what they look like.
MILLY: If you wanted to know then why didn't you volunteer to do laundry?
MERYL: Shut up Milly!
WW: Why didn't you go through her dresser drawers?
VASH: Why didn't I ever think of these things?
MERYL: Shut up! Now can I get back to work?
LEGATO: Yes, yes.
KNIVES: Bon voyage! Senorita pissy pants!
MERYL JUST GLARES THEN FLIPS THEM ALL OFF AS SHE ENTERS HER OFFICE.
KNIVES: That's some spider you picked there Vash
VASH: Ya I know isn't she great? -HE LOOKS ALL DREAMY EYED AND SMILES-
LEGATO: So Wolfwood, why the black suit unshaven shaggy hair look for you?
WW: Well I just don't have any time to shave regularly that is. The chicks dig the shaggy hair; don't you see me get mauled by thousands of gorgeous women every time I step onto the street?
VASH: I always wondered who that was.I always thought it was Knives, because the girls got confused and thought he was me.
KNIVES: Like I'd have anything to do with those female spiders
WW: Anyways back to me here. The black suit helps people to notice that I am a priest. Plus the inside of this jacket helps hold all of my cigarettes.
VASH: Then where do you put your portable confessional?
WW: Oh that along with the scripts, go in my pants pocket.
VASH -EYES ARE HUGE-How do they fit in there?
WW: Glad you asked. You see my pockets are like a gateway to anther dimension. One that holds everything I need. For example if you ever see me without my cross it is hiding in my pocket. Oh and any ammo I need to refill my cross with.
VASH: Amazing where can I buy one of those?
WW: No where my friend. I had these babies's specially made.
VASH: So then who made them for you?
WW: Same people who made Knives' outfit.
VASH: -LOOKS TO KNIVES- Who made yours?
KNIVES: Same one who made all the Gung-Ho-Guns.
WW: And that about sums up my wonderful arrangement.
LEGATO: Thank you WW.
VASH: Who haven't we asked yet?
LEGATO: We haven't asked you my unintelligent co-host.
VASH: Me? -HE POINTS TO HIMSELF-
KNIVES: No your evil twin clone.
VASH: I have one?
KNIVES: No I lied.
VASH: Oh.
LEGATO: Get on with it already.
VASH: Ok. Well I kept the hair the same because Rem liked it this way and it helped me to remember her. The red coat for the red geranium which means determination. I chose the long coat look so I could have lots of room to move around and hide stuff. Then the boots.well as you all know from having seen my show in episode. -PLACES HIS HAND ON HIS CHIN AND THINKS.
WW: -PULLS A SCRIPT OUT OF HIS POCKET- Well according to this it was in episode three, Truth of Mistake. -HE PUTS THE SCRIPT BACK INTO HIS POCKET. IT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS NEVER THERE TO BEGIN WITH.
VASH: Hey thanks man! Well I use it to help get me out of any predicament that I cant use my gun or my head, or more importantly my good looks. -HE STRIKES A RIDICULOUS POSE AND PROCEEDES TO SHOW OFF HIS MUSCLES MUCH LIKE IN EPISODE TWO-
LEGATO: Okay, that is enough from you Vash.
VASH: But I haven't finished I still have to tell you about my favorite pair of boxers the ones with little donuts and fairies all over them.
LEGATO: There you just told them.
VASH: But they don't know that the donuts glow in the dark!
LEGATO: .
KNIVES: So my servant what about you?
VASH: Yeah what's with the spiky thing?
LEGATO: It comes in handy when you need something to roast your hotdog over an open flame, or to even poke someone in the eye with repetitively.
VASH: Ooooohhhh. Why do you have a creepy looking skull attached to your arm?
LEGATO: Oh you mean Fru-Fru?
WW: Fru.-SNICKER- Fru? -SNICKER SNICKER-
LEGATO: Yes Fru Fru is the remnants of a child hood friend who was destroyed by you.
VASH: Gee, now I actually feel sorry for you. You carry around a dead guy on your arm.
LEGATO: You shouldn't because Fru Fru here helps me along in my time of despair.
WW: Can I ask what exactly was -SNICKER- Fru Fru?
LEGATO: Fru Fru was my pet fuzzy pink bunny rabbit.
WW: Dahahahahah!! A fuzzy pink rabbit!! Oh that's just too good.
LEGATO: Shut your mouth! Never speak badly of bunny Fru Fru!
WW: Dahahahahah Bunny Fru Fru!!!
VASH: Well my peace loving folks time is up and Legato has to go get his overcoat dry-cleaned and bunny Fru Fru needs to get his rabbi shots.
ALL EXCEPT LEGATO BREAK OUT INTO HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER
VASH: Meryl!! I love you!!!
MERYL: Vash will you shut up! And end the show!!
KNIVES: Next week I shall have taken over the world and this show!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!! EVTSC: .
.^^ : World domination la la la
^^. : I LOVE YOU MERYL DO YOU LOVE ME!???
: VASH GO AWAY!!!
^_\\ : Mass chaos!!