1 DISCLAIMER: Not mine, am not making money off this, etc…
2 AUTHOR'S NOTE: Please do not take offense about Arwen's lines—I love the character Aragorn and mean nothing against him. This is all just something silly to write so please do not take this stuff seriously!
3
4
5 Chapter Four
Or, Dude, where's my hairbrush?
"He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and my dad is a real big nut-case—whoops," Boromir said in an audition for Legolas's part. Legolas, standing off to the side with the director, dressed in a Nazgul's robes, groaned softly.
"Next!" the director called wearily.
"But, I haven't finished my lines!"
"Did you not here me? NEXT!"
"This isn't fair! DADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDY!"
The troll bouncers heaved the guy off stage.
Arwen got up. "He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and I'm not so sure the wedding's on—I mean, uh-oh."
Aragorn stood on the edge of the stage, glaring. "We need to talk about this!" he declared.
Arwen sniffed. "Well, you know, Boromir is so much more handsome than you."
"LOVE ME!" Eowyn screamed, throwing herself at Aragorn's feet.
"You'd leave me with her?" Aragorn demanded.
"If I barks like a dog," Arwen replied, looking down her long nose at the groveling Eowyn. "It usually is a dog."
"This is all nice and well," said the director calmly, before screaming, "CAN WE GET A MOVE ON HERE, PEOPLE?!"
Elrond storms forward. "I HAD TO TAKE OUT A LONE ON RIVENDELL TO PAY FOR THIS WEDDING!" he shouted. "YOU TWO ARE GETTING MARRIED IF IT KILLS YOU! AND IT WILL, EVENTUALLY, WHEN I SEND YOU HALF OF THE BILL!"
Aragorn, getting angry, "You never said I'd have to pay for part of it."
"If it barks like a dog…"
"LOVE ME!"
"I'll do it, I'll do it!" Aragorn said hastily. "Where do I sign?"
"Right here."
Meanwhile, SuperFrodie and WonderHobbit had become Sir Frodie and Sir Wonder, and were trying out for the part of William in the remaking of A Knights Tale, where William marries the nice blacksmith instead of the noble.
"Yep," said Frodie. "We got 'dem vamats o'er der, der messin' da place up, ya know?"
"CUT!' screamed the director. "THAT'S 'SHOWDOWN AT THE OK CARRAL!' NOT 'CAMELOT!' TAKE TWENTY-NINE!"
*In southern bell accent.* "Why, I am just so tired of trying to find these hairbrushes!"
"CUT! THAT'S 'GONE WITH THE WIND!' TRY AND STAY IN CAMELOT!"
"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh, gimme a home! where the lances hit home! Where the meeeeeeeeeeeeeetal is beaten all day! Where I'll get my a** whipped, in a contest of tilting, and the sky is blood-red all day! Hoh!"
The director begins banging head against floor.
"I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!" Gandalf howled, landing in a small green spacecraft in the middle of filming. "Damn, those martians know how to party!" Gandalf opens top of spacecraft, snaps fingers, and steps out in a bright pink bikini. "Whoops, wrong costume!" Snaps fingers, and ends up in Elrond's costume. "Nope, not right either." Snaps fingers again. "A cowboy? Who's been messing with my wand? Wait a second…this handwriting looks familiar…YOU ARE DEAD PEREGRIN!" Snaps one more time. Suddenly he screams, and everyone looks over.
Gandalf is on the ground, holding too fuzzy little strips of hair in his hands. "No!" he moans, "it can't be! My fake eyebrows have fallen off!"
All exchange looks.
Galadriel: "I want more lines!"
Sauron: "When do I come in?"
AUTHOR: Next chapter, if you're good.
Peregrin: "But mommy, I didn't do it! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow……
THE MADNESS CONTINUES! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*?*?*?*?*?*?*?*?*?*?*?*?
Any ideas guys? I'm running out. EMAIL ME WITH IDEAS! LadyoftheRings35@hotmail.com
Note to sharps girl: Of course I'm crazy! You know a sane person who could write this?
2 AUTHOR'S NOTE: Please do not take offense about Arwen's lines—I love the character Aragorn and mean nothing against him. This is all just something silly to write so please do not take this stuff seriously!
3
4
5 Chapter Four
Or, Dude, where's my hairbrush?
"He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and my dad is a real big nut-case—whoops," Boromir said in an audition for Legolas's part. Legolas, standing off to the side with the director, dressed in a Nazgul's robes, groaned softly.
"Next!" the director called wearily.
"But, I haven't finished my lines!"
"Did you not here me? NEXT!"
"This isn't fair! DADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDY!"
The troll bouncers heaved the guy off stage.
Arwen got up. "He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and I'm not so sure the wedding's on—I mean, uh-oh."
Aragorn stood on the edge of the stage, glaring. "We need to talk about this!" he declared.
Arwen sniffed. "Well, you know, Boromir is so much more handsome than you."
"LOVE ME!" Eowyn screamed, throwing herself at Aragorn's feet.
"You'd leave me with her?" Aragorn demanded.
"If I barks like a dog," Arwen replied, looking down her long nose at the groveling Eowyn. "It usually is a dog."
"This is all nice and well," said the director calmly, before screaming, "CAN WE GET A MOVE ON HERE, PEOPLE?!"
Elrond storms forward. "I HAD TO TAKE OUT A LONE ON RIVENDELL TO PAY FOR THIS WEDDING!" he shouted. "YOU TWO ARE GETTING MARRIED IF IT KILLS YOU! AND IT WILL, EVENTUALLY, WHEN I SEND YOU HALF OF THE BILL!"
Aragorn, getting angry, "You never said I'd have to pay for part of it."
"If it barks like a dog…"
"LOVE ME!"
"I'll do it, I'll do it!" Aragorn said hastily. "Where do I sign?"
"Right here."
Meanwhile, SuperFrodie and WonderHobbit had become Sir Frodie and Sir Wonder, and were trying out for the part of William in the remaking of A Knights Tale, where William marries the nice blacksmith instead of the noble.
"Yep," said Frodie. "We got 'dem vamats o'er der, der messin' da place up, ya know?"
"CUT!' screamed the director. "THAT'S 'SHOWDOWN AT THE OK CARRAL!' NOT 'CAMELOT!' TAKE TWENTY-NINE!"
*In southern bell accent.* "Why, I am just so tired of trying to find these hairbrushes!"
"CUT! THAT'S 'GONE WITH THE WIND!' TRY AND STAY IN CAMELOT!"
"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh, gimme a home! where the lances hit home! Where the meeeeeeeeeeeeeetal is beaten all day! Where I'll get my a** whipped, in a contest of tilting, and the sky is blood-red all day! Hoh!"
The director begins banging head against floor.
"I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!" Gandalf howled, landing in a small green spacecraft in the middle of filming. "Damn, those martians know how to party!" Gandalf opens top of spacecraft, snaps fingers, and steps out in a bright pink bikini. "Whoops, wrong costume!" Snaps fingers, and ends up in Elrond's costume. "Nope, not right either." Snaps fingers again. "A cowboy? Who's been messing with my wand? Wait a second…this handwriting looks familiar…YOU ARE DEAD PEREGRIN!" Snaps one more time. Suddenly he screams, and everyone looks over.
Gandalf is on the ground, holding too fuzzy little strips of hair in his hands. "No!" he moans, "it can't be! My fake eyebrows have fallen off!"
All exchange looks.
Galadriel: "I want more lines!"
Sauron: "When do I come in?"
AUTHOR: Next chapter, if you're good.
Peregrin: "But mommy, I didn't do it! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow……
THE MADNESS CONTINUES! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*?*?*?*?*?*?*?*?*?*?*?*?
Any ideas guys? I'm running out. EMAIL ME WITH IDEAS! LadyoftheRings35@hotmail.com
Note to sharps girl: Of course I'm crazy! You know a sane person who could write this?