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Interviews
by:
Kile Terro
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*Welcome to the final installment of Interviews...*
Kile is back in his usual spot
Kile: Hi, everyone...This time we have two new guests and ALL of our other guests from the past interviews. So, uh, we had better get this underway.
*Please welcome past guest, Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy VII!*
Cloud sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: What's up?
Cloud: Nothing.
Kile: what have you been doing since we saw you last?
Cloud: Narcotics.
Kile: .........Um, uh, do you still miss Aeris?
Cloud: No, now I have Tifa and Yuffie.
Kile: ...
Cloud: And I have a son now.
Kile: Really?
Cloud: Yeah, I named him Kile Strife.
Kile: You named him after me?
Cloud: Yeah, he's the runt of the two kids.
Kile: Let's get another guest out here before I kill this guy.
*Please welcome past guest Kuja Tribal from Final Fantasy IX!*
Kuja sits next to Kile's desk
Kuja: Wassup, Kile?
Kile: Nothing. Met any nice girls yet?
Kuja: Hahh...No, everytime I walk over to a girl her boyfriend comes out of nowhere looks at her then me and with heart eyes walks over to me.
Kile: That must be hell!
Kuja: Yeah, the only chance I've had so far is K.D. Lang.
Kile: ....Ouch, that's gotta hurt your pride.
Kuja: Yeah.
Kile: How's your brother?
Kuja: He's better off than me...he's got Garnet.
Kile: ...I've got Kid.
Kuja: .....(Sweatdrop)...Either you have female friends?
Kile: Dunno 'bout her but...
Kile pulls out a long, long, LONG list
Kile: Ami, Serena, Lita, Mina, Raye, Reeny--
Kuja: Reeny?
Kile: Leena, Lucca, Luccia, Marle, Ayla, Mihoshi, Ayeka, Ryoko, Kyone, Sasami--
Kuja: Sasami?
Kile (Childlike voice): Lil Washu!!!
Kuja: Lil Washu???
Kid comes out from behind the curtain and hits Kile over the head with a big stick
Kile: OW!
Kid walks back backstage
Kile: ....I wonder if Pyra loaned her that stick?
Kuja: Something I was wanting to tell you.
Kile: What?
Kuja begins to cry and he lies his head on Kile's desk
Kuja (Crying): Don't go, Kile! Dooon't gooo.....WAHHHHH!!!!!!!
Kile looks toward ragnarock
Kile: Am I the only one getting deja vu of the last Johnny Carson Tonight Show episode when Johnny was talking with Bob Newhart?
ragnarock: ............
Kile looks at Kuja
Kile: I am sorry, friend, but....uh...I've no choice.
Kuja: I'll cope somehow....
*Please welcome past guest Princess Zelda from The Legend of Zelda!*
Princess Zelda sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: I'm sorry about our first interview, Zelda, about calling you a bisexual.
Zelda: It's alright. I was a little mad at first, but when I got home Link made it aaalll better...tee hee!
Kile: .....Uh...Oh, forgot!
Kile hits a button under his desk
The Tenchi Muyo! yell is heard and so are are the bricks clacking (Or whatever they are)
ragnarock: ????!!!! THAT'S where that sound was coming from???!!!
Kile: Yep! Zelda, do you feel safer with Link around?
Zelda: No, I feel more....satisfied.
Kile: ....Augh....DID I miss this place? That jail is looking better.
Zelda: Oh, Kile, I missed seeing you here, I watch this show all the time!
Kile: Really?
Zelda: No, I just thought that would be the nice thing to say.
Kile: GET ANOTHER GUEST OUT HERE!
*Please welcome past guest and our very own Chief of Security, Serge from Chrono Cross!*
Serge walks out and sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: We don't really need to interview this guy because we see him everyday, but....Serge, you like workin' here?
Serge thinks
Kile: ..................................................................
Serge shrugs
Kile: Huh? Don't you?
Serge shakes his head no
Kile: Why not?
Serge points at Kile then tilts his head up and begins to act as if he's pouring something down his throat
Kile: I'm a drunkard?
Serge points to his own nose
Kile: .........Could be worse.....You could work with Marilyn Manson..
Serge turns white
Kile: Anyhow, will you miss us when we're gone?
Serge nods and moves his hands around
Kile: ........You'll need to find another job......?
ragnarock: How do you know what he's saying?
Kile: I dunno.
*Please welcome past kidnapper and our very own stage hand, Kid from Chrono Cross!*
Kid sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: Hey, hon.
Kid: Hey, Kile-Kile.
ragnaock: Kile-Kile?????
Kile: You in the mood?
Kid: Yeah, mate.
Kile and Kid run backstage and don't come out for 2 and a half hours
Kile sits down at his desk
Kid sits at the chair next to the desk
ragnarock: You noisy bastard.
Kile: Was is good, Kid?
Kid: Yep!
Kile: That accounts for the two questions, bring out the next guest--I mean victim--No, I mean guest.....????
*Please welcome past kidnapper, Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII!*
Sephiroth sits in the chair next to Kile's desk
Kile: Mother still in Jenny Craig?
Sephiroth: No, she's with Slim Fast and Subway.
Kile: Subway has GREAT food, I love those steak and cheese subs. How about you?
Sephiroth: Haven't tried that one yet.
Kile: Want to?
Sephiroth: Sure.
Kile: Okay. Gokuu!
Gokuu comes out of Kile's ready room
Gokuu: Yeah?
Kile: Hey, go down to the Subway and get us couple subs...anyone else want any?
ragnarock: ME! A meatball sub!
Gokuu: Okay!
Gokuu takes the money and leaves
Kile: Did you find out anything more about the mispelling of your final form?
Sephiroth: .....Well...let me put it this way...Squaresoft is gonna be looking for new translaters.
Kile: Power to the People!
Kid gets up and goes backstage
Kid: I've got work to do you know.
Serge goes past ragnarock
Kile: He needs to get back to his station
*Please welcome past kidnapper, Janus from Chrono Trigger!*
Janus sits next Kile's desk
Kile: 'Sup?
Janus: Nothing, Monkey-boy.
Kile: I'm proud of my heritage. How is it you are the only one who can use Shadow Magic?
Janus: Because I'm cool.
Kile: ...............Why don't you have a monkey-tail?
Janus: Because I'm--
Kile: Not cool! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Augh....Please welcome past guest, Tidus from Final Fantasy X!*
Tidus sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: .................How'd you get invited?
Tidus: I was a past guest.
Kile: Don't remind me. What do you think is the weirdest thing about...Yuna?
Tidus: She has one blue eye and one green.
Kile: Thought so.........Get outta my sight.
*Please welcome past guest, Jack from Harvest Moon: Save The Homeland!*
Jack sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: How's the farm?
Jack: Good.
Kile: Got a girlfriend, yet?
Jack: Gwen, why?
Kile: Kuja needs one.
Kuja: Damn straight!
Jack: .....Anyhow, You done?
Kile: ................Yeah.
*Please welcome past guest, Sasami from Tenchi Muyo!!*
Sasami sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: Hi, Sasami!
Sasami: Hey-hey, Kile!
Kile: How's the Masaki household been?
Sasami: Not that good, Tenchi does everyone but me...Whoa! I mean all the girls but me!
Kile: ......
Sasami: How about you?
Kile: 'Bout me, what?
Sasami: You like young girls, right?
Kile: ......I'm 1,000,061, ANY girl is young compared to me.
Sasami: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!
Kile: Yeah, I look like a scrawny young teen but....I'm older than your great-great-great-great grandfather!
Sasami: ....!
Kile: Uh...Ha...ha...???
*For the love of everything good and holy please welcome past guest, Heero Yuy from Gundam Wing!*
Heero sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: Been a while, eh?
Heero: Yeah, haven't seen you since the communist assholes invaded.
Kile: Yeah, better ask the questions if anyone's still reading.
Heero: I think they bailed a while ago.
Kile: Eh, oh, well. Why did you try to kill Mariemaia?
Heero: She pissed me off!
Kile: .....Still trying to kill Relina?
Heero: No, now I'm trying to f^$* her!
Kile: Been a while since we heard THAT word. NEXT!
*Please welcome past guest, Armitage from Armitage*
Armitage sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: Need any money?
Armitage: Hey, 50 Kaiko is only $25!
Kile: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Armitage: You wanna die, monkey-boy?!
Kile: Too late. Uh, do you like being here?
Armitage: No.
Kile: Bye, then!
*Please welcome past guest, Squall Leonhart from Final Fantasy VIII!*
Squall sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: Wassup, Squall?
Squall: I devised a two new attacks. The Ass-Whupper.
Kile: The other?
Squall: The Heartilly Killer!
Kile: Lovely....Things bad in your love life?
Squall: Dunno, I'm gonna be like the author of this and just hate everyone on Earth!
Kile: .......Cool.
*Please welcome past guest, Ramza from Final Fantasy Tactics!*
Ramza sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: 'Sup? You done anything lately?
Ramza: .............................I ate pudding.
Kile: ....................
*.............Please welcome past guest, Majin Buu from DragonBall Z!*
Majin Buu sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: Hungry?
Majin Buu: YEAH!!
Kile: Sorry, you missed the sub train.
Majin Buu: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kile: You okay?
Majin Buu: Got food?
Kile: I think I got some chips.
Majin Buu: GIVE!
Kile hands over tortilla chips
Majin Buu: YUM!
Kile: That'll keep him busy a while....
*Please welcome past guest, Raye from Sailor Moon!*
Raye sits next Kile's desk
Raye: Did you see when I stripped here?
Kile: No, I was on the phone checking on things here...
Raye: Want me to do it again?
Kile: What the bloody hell, it IS the last show.
Raye begins to strip
Kid: BUGGER!
Kid comes from behind the curtains and hits Raye upside the head
Raye sits back down
Kile: ...........Next guest before we are hurt!
*Please welcome past guest, Spike from Cowboy Bebop!*
Spike sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: How's being dead been, Spike?
Spike: I get enough sleep now...although I miss Jet's Bell Peppers and Beef.
Kile: Anything else you miss?
Spike: F^%&ing.....Edward.
Kile: NEXT GUEST, DAMN IT ALL!!!
*Please welcome past guest, Kefka from Final Fantasy III/VI!*
Kefka sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: Been swallowed by any good summons lately?
Keka: ...............Bahamut.
Kile: Serious?
Kefka: Serious.
Kile: Well, that is odd.
Kefka: Try playing chess there.
Kile: I just might. Next guest?
*Please welcome past guest, Yuseke Uremeshi from Yu Yu Hakusho!*
Yuseke sits next to Kile's desk
Yuseke: No hard feelings about the Spirit World?
Kile: ....I am hurt. A wound nothing can heal. One question. Will you say that I came up with the idea first...'cause I did!
Yuseke: Okay, bastard, Kile Terro came up with the idea of the Spirit World first.
Kile: Good, next guest.
*Please welcome past guest, Cecil from Final Fantasy II/IV!*
Cecil sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: How are you, Cecil?
Cecil: Good. How are you?
Kile: Tired, how long have I been interviewing?
Cecil: Dunno.
Kile: Let's see....I started this earlier today, finished one interview...stopped, then began again when Dr. Demento came on, and Dr. D is already over!
Cecil: Isn't that two hours long?
Kile: Yeah...Anyhow, You and Rosa have kids yet?
Cecil: One, Locke.
Kile: Don't THAT sound familiar?
*Please welcome past guest, Tenchi Masaki from Tenchi Muyo!!*
Tenchi sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: You tired?
Tenchi: No.
Kile: I am. You hungry?
Tenchi: No.
Kile: I am. Where's my damn sub?
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
WITH GOKUU AT THE BULLET TRAIN STATION
Queza: Look, kid, I told you. This is a bullet train, not a subway.
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*Please welcome past guest, Kiro from Card Captor Sakura!*
Kiro sits on Kile's desk
Kile: Hey.
Kiro: Yo.
Kile: You like video games, right?
Kiro: Yeah.
Kile: So do I. Anime?
Kiro: I AM anime, you dumbass.
Kile: ........Oh, yeah...my eyes must be messing up.
Kile puts on his anime-like glasses
ragnarock: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You wear glasses?!
Kile: Only when my sight is bad.
ragnarock and Kiro: No duh.
*Please welcome past guest, Zero from Pilot Candidate!*
Zero sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: Shit...my glasses must be busted or something 'cause he looks like Tai Kamiya to me.
ragnarock: No, he actually looks like that.
Kile: Oh. Zero, how do you like GOA?
Zero: ............The catgirl's hot.
Kile: ......How's classes?
Zero: I dunno....???
Kile: Augh.....
*Please welcome past guest, Tetsuro Hoshino from Galaxy Express 999!*
Tetsuro sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: You gonna miss us when we're gone?
Tetsuro: No, I didn't know you guy's existed.
Kile: you gonna miss you head when I snap it off like a twig?
Tetsuro: You a machine?
Kile: No, just a hungry and tired dead guy with a monkey tail whose eyesight is shot right now.
*Please welcome past guest, Magus from Chrono Trigger!*
Magus sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: How's the world been treating you?
Magus: Good.
Kile: .......I thought something would happen if there were two of someone?
Magus looks at Janus and Janus looks at Magus
A black hole forms and sucks them inside it
Kile: .......There's something you don't see on Pay-Per-View.
*Please welcome past guest, Ryu from Breath of Fire 4!*
Ryu sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: Another mute....Do you think you'll miss us?
Ryu nods
Kile: That's all I'll ask.
*Please welcome past guest, X from Mega Man X!
X sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: See anyone with black hair and subs on your way here?
X: No.
Kile: What is your relation with Roll?
X: Wrong Mega Man...That was Rock, I'm X.
Kile: Whew, I did her and I was afraid of the relation.
X: He's her sister, I think....wait isn't she a robot?
Kile: Not from what I could tell.
*Please welcome our LAST past guest, Jim Hawking from Outlaw Star!*
Jim sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: How's the world of technology?
Jim: Ever changing.
Kile: You like catgirls?
Jim: Not really.
Kile: I do. End this sword master!
*You got it, Kile!*
Silence
*Please welcome Selphie Tilmitt from Final Fantasy VIII!*
Kile: Am I doomed to do this show for eternity?
Selphie sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: Why are you so hyper?
Selphie: I take speed, lots and lots of speed!
Kile: .....Revenge of the Sugar High.....How is your relationship with Irvine?
Selphie: He's a sex-crazed demon.
Kile: Who isn't?
*Please welcome our next guest, Ryo-Ohki from Tenchi Muyo!!*
Ryo-ohki sits on Kile's desk
Kile: RYO-OHKI!!!!! ^____^
ragnarock: That's scary.
Kile picks up Ryo-Ohki and he leans back in his chair with Ryo-Ohki on his chest
Kile: How are you?
Ryo-Ohki: Myao-myao!
Kile rubs his head agains Ryo-Ohki
Kile: Isn't she just precious?
*Well, I guess this is it for Interviews--*
Hojo runs in and slams his hands down on Kile's desk
Hojo: You guys killed my most prized creation!
Kile: What?
Hojo: Osama Bin Laden!
Kile: You were the guy who kept resurrecting him?
Hojo: Yes!
Kile: You'll have to take this up with Reader's Services...behind the curtain.
Hojo: Thank you.
Hojo walks behind the curtain
Hojo: Why is there a girl back here? With a...dagger? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kile is still petting Ryo-Ohki
Kile: And on this final note, if any of you guys walked in on your girlfriends and saw a guy jump out the window...it was me! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fifty dozen guys come running into the studio
Kile speaks into mini tape recorder
Kile: Note: Next time I say if any guys walked in on their girlfriends and saw a guy jump out the window....before I say it was me...lock ALL doors and windows.
Kile clicks off the recorder and Serge escorts all of the guys out
Kile: Bye.......everyone, tell your girlfriends I'll be there an hour later tonight! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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STAFF ROOM
animemaster is interviewing Dante from Devil May cry, Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid, and Leo from Zone of the Enders
Kile: Is this where you've been all day?
animemaster: It's only been about half an hour.
Kile: In fic time, that's all day.
ragnarock: We better get back to our own worlds, now.
sword master: Yeah...Bye Kile.
ragnarock: Bye, Kile.
animemaster; See ya, KT.
Gokuu: Bye, Uncle Mike.
Kile: I thought I said not to say my name!
Gokuu: Sorry, bye.
Gokuu, animemaster, sword master and ragnarock leave
Kile: And goodbye to the readers.
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THE END
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Interviews
by:
Kile Terro
_______________________________________________________________________
*Welcome to the final installment of Interviews...*
Kile is back in his usual spot
Kile: Hi, everyone...This time we have two new guests and ALL of our other guests from the past interviews. So, uh, we had better get this underway.
*Please welcome past guest, Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy VII!*
Cloud sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: What's up?
Cloud: Nothing.
Kile: what have you been doing since we saw you last?
Cloud: Narcotics.
Kile: .........Um, uh, do you still miss Aeris?
Cloud: No, now I have Tifa and Yuffie.
Kile: ...
Cloud: And I have a son now.
Kile: Really?
Cloud: Yeah, I named him Kile Strife.
Kile: You named him after me?
Cloud: Yeah, he's the runt of the two kids.
Kile: Let's get another guest out here before I kill this guy.
*Please welcome past guest Kuja Tribal from Final Fantasy IX!*
Kuja sits next to Kile's desk
Kuja: Wassup, Kile?
Kile: Nothing. Met any nice girls yet?
Kuja: Hahh...No, everytime I walk over to a girl her boyfriend comes out of nowhere looks at her then me and with heart eyes walks over to me.
Kile: That must be hell!
Kuja: Yeah, the only chance I've had so far is K.D. Lang.
Kile: ....Ouch, that's gotta hurt your pride.
Kuja: Yeah.
Kile: How's your brother?
Kuja: He's better off than me...he's got Garnet.
Kile: ...I've got Kid.
Kuja: .....(Sweatdrop)...Either you have female friends?
Kile: Dunno 'bout her but...
Kile pulls out a long, long, LONG list
Kile: Ami, Serena, Lita, Mina, Raye, Reeny--
Kuja: Reeny?
Kile: Leena, Lucca, Luccia, Marle, Ayla, Mihoshi, Ayeka, Ryoko, Kyone, Sasami--
Kuja: Sasami?
Kile (Childlike voice): Lil Washu!!!
Kuja: Lil Washu???
Kid comes out from behind the curtain and hits Kile over the head with a big stick
Kile: OW!
Kid walks back backstage
Kile: ....I wonder if Pyra loaned her that stick?
Kuja: Something I was wanting to tell you.
Kile: What?
Kuja begins to cry and he lies his head on Kile's desk
Kuja (Crying): Don't go, Kile! Dooon't gooo.....WAHHHHH!!!!!!!
Kile looks toward ragnarock
Kile: Am I the only one getting deja vu of the last Johnny Carson Tonight Show episode when Johnny was talking with Bob Newhart?
ragnarock: ............
Kile looks at Kuja
Kile: I am sorry, friend, but....uh...I've no choice.
Kuja: I'll cope somehow....
*Please welcome past guest Princess Zelda from The Legend of Zelda!*
Princess Zelda sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: I'm sorry about our first interview, Zelda, about calling you a bisexual.
Zelda: It's alright. I was a little mad at first, but when I got home Link made it aaalll better...tee hee!
Kile: .....Uh...Oh, forgot!
Kile hits a button under his desk
The Tenchi Muyo! yell is heard and so are are the bricks clacking (Or whatever they are)
ragnarock: ????!!!! THAT'S where that sound was coming from???!!!
Kile: Yep! Zelda, do you feel safer with Link around?
Zelda: No, I feel more....satisfied.
Kile: ....Augh....DID I miss this place? That jail is looking better.
Zelda: Oh, Kile, I missed seeing you here, I watch this show all the time!
Kile: Really?
Zelda: No, I just thought that would be the nice thing to say.
Kile: GET ANOTHER GUEST OUT HERE!
*Please welcome past guest and our very own Chief of Security, Serge from Chrono Cross!*
Serge walks out and sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: We don't really need to interview this guy because we see him everyday, but....Serge, you like workin' here?
Serge thinks
Kile: ..................................................................
Serge shrugs
Kile: Huh? Don't you?
Serge shakes his head no
Kile: Why not?
Serge points at Kile then tilts his head up and begins to act as if he's pouring something down his throat
Kile: I'm a drunkard?
Serge points to his own nose
Kile: .........Could be worse.....You could work with Marilyn Manson..
Serge turns white
Kile: Anyhow, will you miss us when we're gone?
Serge nods and moves his hands around
Kile: ........You'll need to find another job......?
ragnarock: How do you know what he's saying?
Kile: I dunno.
*Please welcome past kidnapper and our very own stage hand, Kid from Chrono Cross!*
Kid sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: Hey, hon.
Kid: Hey, Kile-Kile.
ragnaock: Kile-Kile?????
Kile: You in the mood?
Kid: Yeah, mate.
Kile and Kid run backstage and don't come out for 2 and a half hours
Kile sits down at his desk
Kid sits at the chair next to the desk
ragnarock: You noisy bastard.
Kile: Was is good, Kid?
Kid: Yep!
Kile: That accounts for the two questions, bring out the next guest--I mean victim--No, I mean guest.....????
*Please welcome past kidnapper, Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII!*
Sephiroth sits in the chair next to Kile's desk
Kile: Mother still in Jenny Craig?
Sephiroth: No, she's with Slim Fast and Subway.
Kile: Subway has GREAT food, I love those steak and cheese subs. How about you?
Sephiroth: Haven't tried that one yet.
Kile: Want to?
Sephiroth: Sure.
Kile: Okay. Gokuu!
Gokuu comes out of Kile's ready room
Gokuu: Yeah?
Kile: Hey, go down to the Subway and get us couple subs...anyone else want any?
ragnarock: ME! A meatball sub!
Gokuu: Okay!
Gokuu takes the money and leaves
Kile: Did you find out anything more about the mispelling of your final form?
Sephiroth: .....Well...let me put it this way...Squaresoft is gonna be looking for new translaters.
Kile: Power to the People!
Kid gets up and goes backstage
Kid: I've got work to do you know.
Serge goes past ragnarock
Kile: He needs to get back to his station
*Please welcome past kidnapper, Janus from Chrono Trigger!*
Janus sits next Kile's desk
Kile: 'Sup?
Janus: Nothing, Monkey-boy.
Kile: I'm proud of my heritage. How is it you are the only one who can use Shadow Magic?
Janus: Because I'm cool.
Kile: ...............Why don't you have a monkey-tail?
Janus: Because I'm--
Kile: Not cool! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Augh....Please welcome past guest, Tidus from Final Fantasy X!*
Tidus sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: .................How'd you get invited?
Tidus: I was a past guest.
Kile: Don't remind me. What do you think is the weirdest thing about...Yuna?
Tidus: She has one blue eye and one green.
Kile: Thought so.........Get outta my sight.
*Please welcome past guest, Jack from Harvest Moon: Save The Homeland!*
Jack sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: How's the farm?
Jack: Good.
Kile: Got a girlfriend, yet?
Jack: Gwen, why?
Kile: Kuja needs one.
Kuja: Damn straight!
Jack: .....Anyhow, You done?
Kile: ................Yeah.
*Please welcome past guest, Sasami from Tenchi Muyo!!*
Sasami sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: Hi, Sasami!
Sasami: Hey-hey, Kile!
Kile: How's the Masaki household been?
Sasami: Not that good, Tenchi does everyone but me...Whoa! I mean all the girls but me!
Kile: ......
Sasami: How about you?
Kile: 'Bout me, what?
Sasami: You like young girls, right?
Kile: ......I'm 1,000,061, ANY girl is young compared to me.
Sasami: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!
Kile: Yeah, I look like a scrawny young teen but....I'm older than your great-great-great-great grandfather!
Sasami: ....!
Kile: Uh...Ha...ha...???
*For the love of everything good and holy please welcome past guest, Heero Yuy from Gundam Wing!*
Heero sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: Been a while, eh?
Heero: Yeah, haven't seen you since the communist assholes invaded.
Kile: Yeah, better ask the questions if anyone's still reading.
Heero: I think they bailed a while ago.
Kile: Eh, oh, well. Why did you try to kill Mariemaia?
Heero: She pissed me off!
Kile: .....Still trying to kill Relina?
Heero: No, now I'm trying to f^$* her!
Kile: Been a while since we heard THAT word. NEXT!
*Please welcome past guest, Armitage from Armitage*
Armitage sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: Need any money?
Armitage: Hey, 50 Kaiko is only $25!
Kile: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Armitage: You wanna die, monkey-boy?!
Kile: Too late. Uh, do you like being here?
Armitage: No.
Kile: Bye, then!
*Please welcome past guest, Squall Leonhart from Final Fantasy VIII!*
Squall sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: Wassup, Squall?
Squall: I devised a two new attacks. The Ass-Whupper.
Kile: The other?
Squall: The Heartilly Killer!
Kile: Lovely....Things bad in your love life?
Squall: Dunno, I'm gonna be like the author of this and just hate everyone on Earth!
Kile: .......Cool.
*Please welcome past guest, Ramza from Final Fantasy Tactics!*
Ramza sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: 'Sup? You done anything lately?
Ramza: .............................I ate pudding.
Kile: ....................
*.............Please welcome past guest, Majin Buu from DragonBall Z!*
Majin Buu sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: Hungry?
Majin Buu: YEAH!!
Kile: Sorry, you missed the sub train.
Majin Buu: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kile: You okay?
Majin Buu: Got food?
Kile: I think I got some chips.
Majin Buu: GIVE!
Kile hands over tortilla chips
Majin Buu: YUM!
Kile: That'll keep him busy a while....
*Please welcome past guest, Raye from Sailor Moon!*
Raye sits next Kile's desk
Raye: Did you see when I stripped here?
Kile: No, I was on the phone checking on things here...
Raye: Want me to do it again?
Kile: What the bloody hell, it IS the last show.
Raye begins to strip
Kid: BUGGER!
Kid comes from behind the curtains and hits Raye upside the head
Raye sits back down
Kile: ...........Next guest before we are hurt!
*Please welcome past guest, Spike from Cowboy Bebop!*
Spike sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: How's being dead been, Spike?
Spike: I get enough sleep now...although I miss Jet's Bell Peppers and Beef.
Kile: Anything else you miss?
Spike: F^%&ing.....Edward.
Kile: NEXT GUEST, DAMN IT ALL!!!
*Please welcome past guest, Kefka from Final Fantasy III/VI!*
Kefka sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: Been swallowed by any good summons lately?
Keka: ...............Bahamut.
Kile: Serious?
Kefka: Serious.
Kile: Well, that is odd.
Kefka: Try playing chess there.
Kile: I just might. Next guest?
*Please welcome past guest, Yuseke Uremeshi from Yu Yu Hakusho!*
Yuseke sits next to Kile's desk
Yuseke: No hard feelings about the Spirit World?
Kile: ....I am hurt. A wound nothing can heal. One question. Will you say that I came up with the idea first...'cause I did!
Yuseke: Okay, bastard, Kile Terro came up with the idea of the Spirit World first.
Kile: Good, next guest.
*Please welcome past guest, Cecil from Final Fantasy II/IV!*
Cecil sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: How are you, Cecil?
Cecil: Good. How are you?
Kile: Tired, how long have I been interviewing?
Cecil: Dunno.
Kile: Let's see....I started this earlier today, finished one interview...stopped, then began again when Dr. Demento came on, and Dr. D is already over!
Cecil: Isn't that two hours long?
Kile: Yeah...Anyhow, You and Rosa have kids yet?
Cecil: One, Locke.
Kile: Don't THAT sound familiar?
*Please welcome past guest, Tenchi Masaki from Tenchi Muyo!!*
Tenchi sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: You tired?
Tenchi: No.
Kile: I am. You hungry?
Tenchi: No.
Kile: I am. Where's my damn sub?
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
WITH GOKUU AT THE BULLET TRAIN STATION
Queza: Look, kid, I told you. This is a bullet train, not a subway.
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*Please welcome past guest, Kiro from Card Captor Sakura!*
Kiro sits on Kile's desk
Kile: Hey.
Kiro: Yo.
Kile: You like video games, right?
Kiro: Yeah.
Kile: So do I. Anime?
Kiro: I AM anime, you dumbass.
Kile: ........Oh, yeah...my eyes must be messing up.
Kile puts on his anime-like glasses
ragnarock: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You wear glasses?!
Kile: Only when my sight is bad.
ragnarock and Kiro: No duh.
*Please welcome past guest, Zero from Pilot Candidate!*
Zero sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: Shit...my glasses must be busted or something 'cause he looks like Tai Kamiya to me.
ragnarock: No, he actually looks like that.
Kile: Oh. Zero, how do you like GOA?
Zero: ............The catgirl's hot.
Kile: ......How's classes?
Zero: I dunno....???
Kile: Augh.....
*Please welcome past guest, Tetsuro Hoshino from Galaxy Express 999!*
Tetsuro sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: You gonna miss us when we're gone?
Tetsuro: No, I didn't know you guy's existed.
Kile: you gonna miss you head when I snap it off like a twig?
Tetsuro: You a machine?
Kile: No, just a hungry and tired dead guy with a monkey tail whose eyesight is shot right now.
*Please welcome past guest, Magus from Chrono Trigger!*
Magus sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: How's the world been treating you?
Magus: Good.
Kile: .......I thought something would happen if there were two of someone?
Magus looks at Janus and Janus looks at Magus
A black hole forms and sucks them inside it
Kile: .......There's something you don't see on Pay-Per-View.
*Please welcome past guest, Ryu from Breath of Fire 4!*
Ryu sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: Another mute....Do you think you'll miss us?
Ryu nods
Kile: That's all I'll ask.
*Please welcome past guest, X from Mega Man X!
X sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: See anyone with black hair and subs on your way here?
X: No.
Kile: What is your relation with Roll?
X: Wrong Mega Man...That was Rock, I'm X.
Kile: Whew, I did her and I was afraid of the relation.
X: He's her sister, I think....wait isn't she a robot?
Kile: Not from what I could tell.
*Please welcome our LAST past guest, Jim Hawking from Outlaw Star!*
Jim sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: How's the world of technology?
Jim: Ever changing.
Kile: You like catgirls?
Jim: Not really.
Kile: I do. End this sword master!
*You got it, Kile!*
Silence
*Please welcome Selphie Tilmitt from Final Fantasy VIII!*
Kile: Am I doomed to do this show for eternity?
Selphie sits next to Kile's desk
Kile: Why are you so hyper?
Selphie: I take speed, lots and lots of speed!
Kile: .....Revenge of the Sugar High.....How is your relationship with Irvine?
Selphie: He's a sex-crazed demon.
Kile: Who isn't?
*Please welcome our next guest, Ryo-Ohki from Tenchi Muyo!!*
Ryo-ohki sits on Kile's desk
Kile: RYO-OHKI!!!!! ^____^
ragnarock: That's scary.
Kile picks up Ryo-Ohki and he leans back in his chair with Ryo-Ohki on his chest
Kile: How are you?
Ryo-Ohki: Myao-myao!
Kile rubs his head agains Ryo-Ohki
Kile: Isn't she just precious?
*Well, I guess this is it for Interviews--*
Hojo runs in and slams his hands down on Kile's desk
Hojo: You guys killed my most prized creation!
Kile: What?
Hojo: Osama Bin Laden!
Kile: You were the guy who kept resurrecting him?
Hojo: Yes!
Kile: You'll have to take this up with Reader's Services...behind the curtain.
Hojo: Thank you.
Hojo walks behind the curtain
Hojo: Why is there a girl back here? With a...dagger? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kile is still petting Ryo-Ohki
Kile: And on this final note, if any of you guys walked in on your girlfriends and saw a guy jump out the window...it was me! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fifty dozen guys come running into the studio
Kile speaks into mini tape recorder
Kile: Note: Next time I say if any guys walked in on their girlfriends and saw a guy jump out the window....before I say it was me...lock ALL doors and windows.
Kile clicks off the recorder and Serge escorts all of the guys out
Kile: Bye.......everyone, tell your girlfriends I'll be there an hour later tonight! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
STAFF ROOM
animemaster is interviewing Dante from Devil May cry, Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid, and Leo from Zone of the Enders
Kile: Is this where you've been all day?
animemaster: It's only been about half an hour.
Kile: In fic time, that's all day.
ragnarock: We better get back to our own worlds, now.
sword master: Yeah...Bye Kile.
ragnarock: Bye, Kile.
animemaster; See ya, KT.
Gokuu: Bye, Uncle Mike.
Kile: I thought I said not to say my name!
Gokuu: Sorry, bye.
Gokuu, animemaster, sword master and ragnarock leave
Kile: And goodbye to the readers.
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THE END
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