Author's notes: I need to clarify something: the nappy leaked from *er hem* over-flooding in the last chapter. And for this chapter, remember that there are no nappies in Middle Earth, at least according to me. . And for the sake of the story, take the Common Speech to be English. Oh yeah, and Larchles was something I came up with. Thanks.

   BTW, any ideas for what you want to happen in Lothlórien? And I'm now outta ideas. Help me, please.

The Fellowship Of The…Baby?

Five: A Problem Of Nappies And Names

   It would be a few days ere they reach the borders of Lothlórien, and new problems arose.

   Aragorn had washed his arms thoroughly in the first stream they came to, while Legolas and Gimli built a fire.

   The Ranger had scouted the area ere he spotted the larchles plant, its leaves which were huge and useful for his purpose.

   He returned to camp and set the leaves down. "Which of you have taken care of one so young before?" There came no answer, and he sighed. "Legolas, help me."

   Man and Elf laid the baby down on the grass, and as Legolas fumbled carefully with the child's bottom, he saw a small tag sticking out from what the baby wore. His keen Elven eyes caught words of the Common Tongue. "Drycare Baby Nappies," he read and looked at Aragorn, frowning. " What is Nappies?"

   "I do not know, Legolas," the Man answered as they parted the nappy. Instantly, a horrible sight greeted them and a foul smell filled the air.

   "Cast it into the fire!" Merry gasped.

   Legolas threw the nappy in hurriedly. For a while, nothing happened, until it caught fire and started to burn.

   The burning of it (remember that nappies contain plastic, and burning plastic is poisonous) and of the…outputs of the baby formed fumes that choked all, and they threw themselves onto the ground.

   It was long ere the foul air passed and they could breathe easily again, and Boromir glared at Merry. "Do not say to cast it into the fire again, Meriadoc Brandybuck, or I shall roast you myself!"

   Aragorn gathered himself and cut two holes in a leaf, slipping the baby's legs through them and fastening the leaf around his waist with twines as best as he could.

   "How will we dispose of it again?" Frodo inquired.

   The Ranger thought for a moment, and then said slowly and carefully. "The leaves of the larchles plant give off sweet air when burnt. Let us hope that it will…be of help."

   Pippin gagged.

***

   The Fellowship tarried at the Nimrodel in rest, and Legolas began a song of the river and the story of its past. Halfway through, the baby tottered over to him and hugged his leg, drool leaving a mark on his leggings.

   "Monster," Legolas grumbled as he stopped his song and pried the baby off his leg, splashing water on the wet stain left by the child.

   Gimli chuckled. "It would not be right to keep calling the young one Monster or Babe or Rascal. He needs a name."

   "Torandy," Sam supplied.

   "No! Meriadoc Brandybuck II!" Merry said.

   Pippin frowned. "Why not Peregrine Took II? Or Froddy?"

   The Ring-bearer laughed, his pain of losing Gandalf temporarily forgotten. "No, Pippin! Don't name him after me!"

   "One Brandybuck and one Took are more than what Middle Earth needs," Legolas said.

   The baby ran over to the Hobbits and started playing with them. Frodo gave his cheek a slight pinch before suggesting, "Laylofa?"

   Boromir frowned. "That sounds like a name of grace, and of horses. The babe does not seem very graceful to me, nor very horse-like."

   "What do you say to an Elven name, Elf?" Gimli prodded.

   Legolas scowled. "I say still Monster, Master Gimli."

   "From the race of Men he is," Boromir said. "He should have a name of Men. What do you say, Aragorn?"

   Aragorn did not answer, for the baby had tottered over to him, arms held out as if expecting to be carried or hugged. The Man evidently remembered the trouble the young one had caused him, for he rose hurriedly and moved away.

   The Hobbits, Gimli and Boromir laughed, for the sight of the Ranger trying to dodge the baby was one they found thoroughly amusing.

   He glanced up briefly at Boromir. "What was it you said, Boromir?" The baby went for him again and he leapt deftly aside.

   The redhead could not hide the smile on his face as he asked again, "What do you say to a name of Men for the child?"

   "Gaelin?"

   "No, Fili."

   "Sida."

   "Monster." Legolas groused still.

   "Addraen," Boromir proposed.

   "Pippin!"

   "Merry!"

   "Doddy!"

   Everyone stared at Merry. "What kind of a name is that?" Even Legolas had to ask.

   "Rosie!" Pippin laughed. "Sam hugs him to sleep every night!"

   Sam reddened. "Mr. Pippin, this is nothing to joke about!"

   "Rascal." Legolas remained adamant about not liking the child.

   "How about—hey Aragorn!" Frodo called to the Man who was almost into the Golden Wood, the baby a distance behind him. "Where are you going? What about the name? It's dangerous in there alone!"

   The normally unflappable Man looked panicked for a moment. "I will go ahead to scout. Be ready to follow when I call. Legolas, please bring my things and Andúril for me!" He turned and jogged into the Wood, voice floating out to them. "Name him Gaelin!"

   The others laughed while the newly named baby stared dejectedly at the Man who had vanished among the trees. He was having such fun playing catching.