@Pandora's very own white room!@
(4/?)-"Attack of the annoying fangirls!"
By: Duh! Pandora, of course!
Category: Humour/Humour!
Rating: PG-13 (A few swear words, some vivid and graphic descriptions, but not ALL too much…)
Summary: Due to finally receiving an authors licence, (Or rather, stealing one!) Pandora decides to have some fun, by trapping poor innocent people in a white little room. However, she has no intentions at all to make them read MST, no, no, not at all. Pandora has something completely different in mind…
Authors note: This is because I have always wanted to have my very own "white-room-where-you-can-trap-poor-characters-from-all-around-the-world"! And, because I wanted to. So there. Anyone who gets completely annoyed and bugged out by this: Well, Pooh on you!
Disclaimer: This is the disclaimer that never ends, it goes on and on for eternity, my friends, one author started writing it, not knowing what it was, and she'll continue typing it forever, just because…Seriously, this is J.R.R Tolkien's sand box, and I am just playing with the sand that fell out. You can too!
To the reviewers:
DarkPhoenix- I am very grateful for your review, and please stay on with us! Okay everyone, a big hurrah for te latest reviewer, 'kay? (Everyone 'hoorays')
Uruviel,Lorien's Maid- Excuse me, is that a flame, or what? If so, then I have a few things to tell you. One, this is just a story. And if I really am harassing Legolas, then no one is forcing you to read. I am doing this thing for FUN, you see? NOT REAL, you get it? Good. And for your information, people like Gimli! I like him, he's cool! (Once you get over the thing about him being a Dwarf, that is…) So if you dislike my work that much, then I have a simple advice for you: Don't…READ! …*thinks for a moment, then quickly adding:* But do please review! Oh, and everyone, this chapter is going to get kinda odd, which you prolly already can see, but I have tried everything, and there was nothing I could do about it, it just got uploaded that way. Hopefully you will be able to bring some sense into the mess. Anyways, cheerios m'little darlin' sweethearts! *laughs merrily*
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Things were, if possible, going even more downwards. Legolas had returned to his corner in a desperate attempt to escape Audrey, and nothing the rabid fangirl said could convince him into coming out again. In the end, he eventually got fed up with her pleas, and promptly shoved a brown paper-bag (That appeared out of nowhere) down over his head (And over his ears specifically!) so he couldn't hear her. Or at least he pretended he couldn't hear her. But, as you all know, elves have very keen hearing, and the poor, blonde elf-prince from Mirkwood, was no exception on that. Which of course was very unfortunate for him.
"Please, Lego? Please? For me? Please? I'll give you a cookie!…Come out now, or I'm going in!" The fangirl rambled, switching between begging, tempting and threatening.
"NO!" Came the angry answer, a little muffled by the bag.
"And don't call me 'Lego', my name is Legolas!" He added, almost as an afterthought. The second the words came over his lips, he wanted to bite his tongue off. But it was too late. The fangirl were already doing a cheery little dance around the room, while chirping:
"He said something to me, out of free will! My Lego said something!" The others barely gave it a glance. They had just met, but they already knew Audrey and Anna well enough to realise that this was normal behaviour. Oh well, why don't we leave Legolas and Audrey for a while, and take a look at the others, shall we? Yes, we shall. Good dog, back to the plot line!
Aragorn had given up on getting his shoulder back, so he had just sat down next to "Ani" on one of the couches without legs, and did his best to pretend he did not have an Anna plastered on his shoulder/neck/back. Which is not an easy thing to do, but he did anyway. Sam, Merry, and Frodo eventually got tired of Pippin's snoring, and woke him up, which highly annoyed him ("Really, I do not snore!" "No, of course not, and Sam's not the ringbearer!" "HMPH!" "Eh, Merry, I AM not the ringbearer, that's Frodo!" "Oh…yeah, that's right! Sorry Frodo!" "HMPH!" "Hey, stop HMPH-ing at me, I can't help it's so easy to forget you!" "HMPH!" "Oh great, Merry, you just opened your big mouth again, congratulations!" "Oh, shut up, Pippin…Besides, you snore!") and they then quickly explained the current events for him. Which inevitably made Pippin freak out and begin to look for a cookie jar (A/N: You think I'm driving that thing too far?) to hide in. After convincing him he really needn't to hide in a cookie jar (Partly because he wouldn't fit, which of course made them restart that argument) the four hobbits reluctantly emerged from their corner. As soon as the characters two squealing nightmares caught site of them, they immediately abandoned their current victims.
"Hobbits, hobbits, hobbits!" They chanted in perfect unison as they swept over the frightened little men. The hobbits first plan to follow Legolas excellent example and run, were effectively destroyed by the shaking of their knees. Never had the hobbits been this afraid, not even when meeting with the many scary things that had been crossing their ways during their journey, and they could all have sworn that fangirls were really the spawns of Satan. Set to the earth just to torture poor, poor, characters. Oh well, even though I, the author, feels almost, ALMOST, little teeny-weeny-itty-bitty bit sorry for them, there's really nothing I can do. It's not like I can stop it or anything. Gees, what do people nowadays expect of an author anyway? Ah well, I think I can bear the Tolkien-characters temporary discomfort. It'll only do them good, anyway. But I digress. I do that a lot. I'm guessing – and hoping – that you haven't noticed it. But I guess that would be to ask for much, huh? See? Here I go again, digressing away! AAANNYWAY, I'm going back to the plot line now, just so you know. So it wont be a shock when you realise I'm for once writing something that makes sense. (A/N: See? Digressing again!) 'Neways, the poor one-metre characters used their last, natural, defence. Look extremely cute.
"Pweeeease don't hurt us!" Pippin said, smiling his most charming smile, and, seeing he had an opening to his left, bolted the second later. The three other hobbits joined him, as did the fangirls, and after chasing the hobbits around the room for half an hour, hug them extremely, nag a little more on Legolas (Who by the way *STILL* refused to come out), and plaster back onto Aragorn's shoulder/neck/back, it was really no wonder the poor fangirls were exhausted. Not to mention the main characters. What a great time for the cheery voice to pop in.
"Heeeello, my little dearies!" When she met no answer, the cheery voice continued to speak anyway.
"Are we feeling well today? Well, I certainly am!" As she still received no answer, the cheery voice suddenly turned into "not-so-cheery" anymore. In fact, Author was suddenly sobbing.
"I…try so hard…(sniffle) make everyone…(hiccup) happy…and…(sob)" And the rest of the sentence was drowned under the sound of her crying. The characters now suddenly began to feel worried. A happy author was bad enough. Were they now supposed to deal with an unhappy one, too?
"Ah…um…don't cry!" Frodo said wearily.
"Great Frodo, was that the best you could do?!" Merry hissed from the side.
"Fine, why don't you try then?!" Frodo hissed back. Merry glared at him, before taking a deep breath.
"Now, Miss, listen here. We're all very unhappy that your sad, but…" The author just kept on crying. Now Merry was beginning to look very nervous. It was obvious he wasn't really making any progress. He decided to give it one more go.
"Ah, miss?" The author tears increased. "Ah…um…don't cry!"
"Why…(hiccup) not?" The author finally said.
"Because…um…well…or else I'll also be sad!" Merry finally managed to think of an answer. Suddenly he realised what he had just said, and groaned as it would do no good, and, even worse, his words was only variations of Frodo's! Merry felt deeply depressed when thinking that He, Meriadoc Brandybuck, Heir to Brandy hall and future Master of Buckland, that had never had any problems with talking to lasses (That's how he sees Author) before, now had to use variations of his cousin. He looked miserably to the side, and saw Frodo smile smugly at him from the corner of his eye. Pippin suddenly lit up, as if he had gotten a great idea. (Pippin? Great idea? Get outta here!)
"Miss Author, have some cake! That always make me cheery!" Pippin said happily, and suddenly remembered he hadn't gotten his Luncheons that day, and so he went off to the refrigerator that suddenly appeared in "his usual" corner. Meanwhile, as the main characters was busy with cheering Author up, the two fangirls had managed to catch their breath, and make up an evil plan. They had sneaked up on Legolas, grabbed his sensitive elven-ears, dragged him out and off to a chair, and bound him there. They were now happily high-fiving and congratulating themselves to the successful plan. Meanwhile, Elrond Half-elven, lord of Imladris, one of the elves last dwellings, possessor of one of the three elven rings, had, after Galadriel's departure and the new-comes arrival, decided the corner was boring, and then had proceeded over to the couch and sat down next to Ani. Ani did not understand a thing of what was happening, and he hadn't gotten a single clue of who the people around him was. This, of course, freaked him out. Now, both of them were happily looking at Legolas getting tortured by the fangirls. They were petting him, feeding him, painting his nails with pink colour, painting little hearts and stars on his face with not body-paint, but *nailpolish*. And, horrors of all horrors, they were they couldn't get it off again. But, what was even worse, they were brushing his hair, and making nice little (In their opinion!) braids in it. Legolas hung his head. This was T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E. H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E. Absolutely U-N-A-C-C-E-P-T-A-B-L-E. But, being the wise thousand-year-old being with pointy ears that he is, he of course realised there was nothing he could do about it. Soon enough though, Elrond and Ani lost interest in looking at the girls and Legolas, and so they went on to just sitting in a bored silence. Elrond finally turned to Ani.
"So…" he began.
"Yes…" Ani answered.
"Do you think we should…?" Elrond was of course with this meaning Legolas.
"…Nah…"
"So…"
"So…" They both said, none of them being able to figure up something to talk about. A long silence occurred, before:
"Well…have you ever read the national Encyclopaedia?"
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Well, that's that, and now I'm going to bed. Nighty! //Pandora (Insert doodles and other silly drawings here) oh, and won't you be a nice little hobbit and make Mr. Button (And me!) happy by pressing him? And then, while you're at it, do be a dear and make your keyboard a little happy by writing a few words on it, please? Great, thank you! Mr. Button and Mrs. Keyboard are both extremely pleased and happy! You will get a good inundation. See ya!