TAKE ME AWAY (3/3)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. All Third Watch characters are the property of the genius himself- John Wells, oh and NBC, WB...etc.
Author's Note: Thank you for all your feedback. Everyone is so generous with their kind words. Makes me smile. You guys are the best. My medical knowledge is a little hazy.....I hope you like this last chapter. Thanks CCA for getting rid of my writers' block! *** denotes a past memory
Faith had been in surgery for 3 hours. Nobody had moved from their spots during that time. Most of the emergency workers from the 55 had come to visit, but Bosco didn't speak to anyone. He had stayed secluded in the corner of the room, starring into space.
"Has anyone phoned Fred yet?" Davis broke the silence that ensued over the last few minutes.
"Ya, one of the duty nurses phoned, he is on the way." Alex replied.
Kim turned to the group, "Has Bosco moved or said anything since he got here?"
"He pretty much has been that way since we got out of the ambulance. He just sits and stares." Carlos commented quitely to the group.
"We all have to get going, but give our best to Fred.....and Bosco if he snaps out of it." Alex said to Davis and Scully.
Davis spoke, "Thanks for coming guys, I'm sure Faith would appreciate you being here."
"It was the least we could do."
A short while later the doctor came into the waiting room. Bosco jumped up from his chair.
"Is there a Mr. Yokas here?"
"No, he's on....." Sully didn't even get a chance to finish.
"Is she ok, can I see her..." Bosco said in a rush, words spilling from his mouth. It was the first sign of life he had shown in hours.
"Slow down, I can't give any information to anyone but family members."
"I'm Officer Boscorelli, Faith's partner....."
"I realize that Mr. Boscorelli but.......
Grabbing the doctor by the coat, Bosco roughly pushed him against the wall.
"Listen to me and listen good.....She IS my family......" he said through gritted teeth.
"She was taken straight into surgery. She had trauma to the head and the lower torso. When she was brought in, she was in hyperthermic shock and severe dehydration. X-rays helped us locate the internal bleeding in her abdomen. We were able to repair her ruptured spleen and 3 broken ribs, however, the CAT-scan showed extensive inflamation on the brain from the trauma, she's currently in a coma on life-support."
Bosco let the doctor go and backed away. His legs gave out on him and he sank to his knees. No one made a move, scared of what would happen next, finally Davis said, "Is she going to make it?"
"I don't think she'll survive the night." the doctor said with honesty.
Those words repeated in Bosco's head over and over again. That's when Bosco lost it...went over the edge.
"You can fix her. You're a fucking doctor. FIX HER!" he screamed at the man, grabbing him again and bashing him into the wall several times.
Davis and Sully went to grab Bosco but it was like he wasn't there. Like he didn't hear them yelling for him to let go. After some struggle Bosco finally released the doctor and security came storming through the doors.
"It's ok," Sully went on the explain, "we've got him, he's a cop, we've got him."
Reluctantly, the security officers left with the shocked doctor.
With Bosco still pinned to the ground by Davis he began to struggle.
"Let me up Davis. Let me up, goddammit!"
"What the hell are you doing Bosco?" Sully demanded. "Do you think that will help Faith? Answer me!!!"
"Don't you see, she's in there because of me, I did this!" He was screaming, "If she dies......."
"Hey." Sully hauled him up by the shoulders, shaking him, trying to knock some sense into him. "She's strong ok, she'll make it, it isn't your fault."
Defeated, Bosco sank into a nearby chair, "Yes it is," staring at his blood stained hands....her blood, placing his head in his hands Sully could hear him mumble, "We had a fight."
Just as Sully was going to ask what he was talking about, Bosco kept going,"I yelled at her Sul, I said things......" he took a breath "I said things she will never forgive me for. Now she is lying in a hospital bed, almost beaten to death, and she'll never know how much...." he paused, knowing he had revealed to much but not caring anymore.
"You've never told her have you?" Sully asked in a gentle tone. Bosco looked up with questioning eyes. "You'll get a chance Bosco. Faith cares about you and her kids too much to just give up."
"I can't just sit here and watch her die. I have to do something."
"What you need right now is to get cleaned up and to get some sleep. Faith is going to need you to be strong. She'll need you here when she wakes up."
----------
After a short time, the doctor came back to speak to Fred. Both Bosco and Fred completely ignored each other since his arrival. Each hating the sight of the other.
"As a police officer, Faith had a very thorough living will." the doctor said while looking at Bosco. Uncertain of whether he should fear another outburst from Bosco.
The doctors words got Bosco's attention. He could remember the day so clearly. It had been when they were still in the academy. They had both signed each other's wills. Both had specific instructions on what should be done in an event like this.
Bosco closed his eyes. ******* "Boz, I don't want to be left on a respirator......I don't want to be a vegetable." her voice soft in his ear.
He usually would have had a smart remark, but Faith's eyes pleaded with him to be serious.
"Faith, that decision will never have to be made."
Determined to make him understand, she continued "Boz, it's important that you understand my wishes, we're going to be cops, dangerous situations are going to be part of the norm. No one can avoid death."
All he could do is nod his head in reply. Not wanting to think about it, he had signed her will and took off.
**** He opened his eyes, returning to the present. Everyone was staring at him.
"Why didn't she ask me about this? How could you sign something like that?" Fred said in disgust and anger.
"It's what she wanted. She had me sign it because she knew that you wouldn't. She could never rely on you Fred!!"
"Oh, and I suppose she could rely on YOU? What a joke, Boscorelli. You were never there for her either."
The realization of those words hit him like a freight train. The abortion, the fights with Fred, the cancer.....she hadn't told him a thing. And when she did he had gotten angry with her. For lying to him, for not telling him right away. Angry instead of supportive. He was no better than Fred.
"That's going to change, starting now." Bosco said with conviction, turning and leaving the hospital. I refuse to sit here and watch her die he said to himself.
Stunned, no one asked where he was going.
----
It had been 48 hours since this nightmare began, 48 hours without sleep and barely any food. Bosco searched the streets all day and night, hoping to find the bastard that hurt Faith. He was a walking zombie. Unaware of anything but his mission. He knew he would kill if he found him. It was that simple fact that kept Bosco going each night. A little voice inside him telling him it was the only way. The only way the pain would stop.
Startled out of his thoughts, his cell phone began to ring.
"Ya"
"Bosco, where the hell are you?" Sully demanded. "You haven't been back to the hospital in over a day. Have you even been checking your messages?"
"I'm going to catch him Sul, it's the only way."
"Listen to me Bosco, they are taking Faith off life support. Everyone's here to say goodbye. Don't you think you should be here, dammit!"
"I have to find him." Bosco almost whispered.
"She needs you! She doesn't need you trying to be hero! How will you ever forgive yourself if you never say goodbye!..........Bosco..........ANSWER ME!"
But all Sully got in response was a dial tone.
-----------
Without knowing why, he found himself in a church. He had never believed in God, what had God done for him? Did God keep him safe from his father? Did God keep Faith safe? No. All Bosco had ever seen of "God" is the pain and suffering of people on the street; Faith in that hospital bed fighting for her life.
"Why are you doing this to her?" he screamed at the ceiling above him. "She is the one of your angels. One of the good ones. TAKE ME! TAKE ME, I deserve it. I'm a mistake, a fucked up mistake!"
He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.
"I promise, I swear to you right now, that if you let her live, I will do everything in my power to never take her for granted again."
The tears continued to stream down his face but he did nothing to remove them. A wave of exhaustion overtook him. He no longer could keep his eyes open. As he laid his head down on the pew in front of him, he could be heard mumbling the words..."take me, take me, tell me what to do......"
--------
He felt safe. A gentle breeze swirled around his face. Sitting atop a rolling hill, wildflowers surrounded him, their scent intoxicating. He recognized the scent, but he couldn't put his finger on it. The sunlight was warm, beating down on his upturned face. Am I dreaming he wondered. Continuing to look around he saw a figure, a woman, standing a few steps from him. Familiarity ran through him. Did he know this woman?
"Hello?" he cautiously asked as he stood from where he was sitting. Wearing a sundress and sandals, the woman's silky hair was left down and was waving in the breeze.
"It's beautiful isn't it?" a soft, rich voice swirled around him but the woman did not turn around.
"Where are we exactly?"
Finally she turned around. "I brought you here Boz."
No. It couldn't be. "Faith....." he uttered in complete shock.
"Last time I checked that was my name," she smiled and her face lit up the sky.
Bosco took the two steps that was separating them and grabbed her into his embrace. Burying his face in her hair he could smell wildflowers....Faith's scent. She was real, she was here in his arms.
"Boz....Boz...I can't breath....." she said with a chuckle.
"Sorry." he said sheepishly, loosening his hold but refusing to let go completely. He brought his hands up to gently cupping her face. "Is this real?" he whispered.
Without warning, Faith stepped away from him.
"Faith?....."
"Don't give up on me Boz. Believe in me.....believe in us."
She disappeared and Bosco snapped awake. A dream. It was just a dream he thought to himself. Trying to shake the eerie feeling, he quickly left the church and drove back to the hospital as fast as he could.
--------
He raced into the ICU, only to see everyone in tears, consoling each other.
You're too late, You failed her again his mind screamed at him. He couldn't understand what was happening.
Emily and Charlie turned from the group to spot Bosco in the doorway. They ran straight to him and hugged him fiercely. He hugged them back, knowing they were a connection to Faith.....his last connection.
"Uncle Bosco, mom's ok, she's going to be ok. She's breathing on her own." Emily said excitedly.
Bosco looked toward Sully, a bewildered look on his face.
Nodding Sully confirmed Emily's news "She's ok Bosco, she's going to pull through. They say it's some kind of miracle."
He gently released Emily and Charlie and moved toward Faith's room. He couldn't speak. He didn't know what to say. He started wonder if THIS too was a dream.
He felt a hand on his shoulder. "You can go see her, Fred is down in the cafeteria." Sully told him gently.
Wordlessly, Bosco moved to Faith's bedside. The swelling had gone down on her face but it had taken on a color of rainbows. She looked so small. Has she always been that fragile he thought to himself. He sat in the chair beside the bed and gently took her hand in his. With his other hand he brushed a few stray strands of hair from her face and let his hand linger there. He closed his eyes and laid his head on her chest. Listening. Her breathing was the sweetest sound he had ever heard.
"I love you Faith." he whispered. "I won't give up on you. I won't give up on us." He closed his eyes, silently thanking the heavens.
Sully stood in the doorway. Nodding his head a smile formed on his lips, he slowly closed the door.
end
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. All Third Watch characters are the property of the genius himself- John Wells, oh and NBC, WB...etc.
Author's Note: Thank you for all your feedback. Everyone is so generous with their kind words. Makes me smile. You guys are the best. My medical knowledge is a little hazy.....I hope you like this last chapter. Thanks CCA for getting rid of my writers' block! *** denotes a past memory
Faith had been in surgery for 3 hours. Nobody had moved from their spots during that time. Most of the emergency workers from the 55 had come to visit, but Bosco didn't speak to anyone. He had stayed secluded in the corner of the room, starring into space.
"Has anyone phoned Fred yet?" Davis broke the silence that ensued over the last few minutes.
"Ya, one of the duty nurses phoned, he is on the way." Alex replied.
Kim turned to the group, "Has Bosco moved or said anything since he got here?"
"He pretty much has been that way since we got out of the ambulance. He just sits and stares." Carlos commented quitely to the group.
"We all have to get going, but give our best to Fred.....and Bosco if he snaps out of it." Alex said to Davis and Scully.
Davis spoke, "Thanks for coming guys, I'm sure Faith would appreciate you being here."
"It was the least we could do."
A short while later the doctor came into the waiting room. Bosco jumped up from his chair.
"Is there a Mr. Yokas here?"
"No, he's on....." Sully didn't even get a chance to finish.
"Is she ok, can I see her..." Bosco said in a rush, words spilling from his mouth. It was the first sign of life he had shown in hours.
"Slow down, I can't give any information to anyone but family members."
"I'm Officer Boscorelli, Faith's partner....."
"I realize that Mr. Boscorelli but.......
Grabbing the doctor by the coat, Bosco roughly pushed him against the wall.
"Listen to me and listen good.....She IS my family......" he said through gritted teeth.
"She was taken straight into surgery. She had trauma to the head and the lower torso. When she was brought in, she was in hyperthermic shock and severe dehydration. X-rays helped us locate the internal bleeding in her abdomen. We were able to repair her ruptured spleen and 3 broken ribs, however, the CAT-scan showed extensive inflamation on the brain from the trauma, she's currently in a coma on life-support."
Bosco let the doctor go and backed away. His legs gave out on him and he sank to his knees. No one made a move, scared of what would happen next, finally Davis said, "Is she going to make it?"
"I don't think she'll survive the night." the doctor said with honesty.
Those words repeated in Bosco's head over and over again. That's when Bosco lost it...went over the edge.
"You can fix her. You're a fucking doctor. FIX HER!" he screamed at the man, grabbing him again and bashing him into the wall several times.
Davis and Sully went to grab Bosco but it was like he wasn't there. Like he didn't hear them yelling for him to let go. After some struggle Bosco finally released the doctor and security came storming through the doors.
"It's ok," Sully went on the explain, "we've got him, he's a cop, we've got him."
Reluctantly, the security officers left with the shocked doctor.
With Bosco still pinned to the ground by Davis he began to struggle.
"Let me up Davis. Let me up, goddammit!"
"What the hell are you doing Bosco?" Sully demanded. "Do you think that will help Faith? Answer me!!!"
"Don't you see, she's in there because of me, I did this!" He was screaming, "If she dies......."
"Hey." Sully hauled him up by the shoulders, shaking him, trying to knock some sense into him. "She's strong ok, she'll make it, it isn't your fault."
Defeated, Bosco sank into a nearby chair, "Yes it is," staring at his blood stained hands....her blood, placing his head in his hands Sully could hear him mumble, "We had a fight."
Just as Sully was going to ask what he was talking about, Bosco kept going,"I yelled at her Sul, I said things......" he took a breath "I said things she will never forgive me for. Now she is lying in a hospital bed, almost beaten to death, and she'll never know how much...." he paused, knowing he had revealed to much but not caring anymore.
"You've never told her have you?" Sully asked in a gentle tone. Bosco looked up with questioning eyes. "You'll get a chance Bosco. Faith cares about you and her kids too much to just give up."
"I can't just sit here and watch her die. I have to do something."
"What you need right now is to get cleaned up and to get some sleep. Faith is going to need you to be strong. She'll need you here when she wakes up."
----------
After a short time, the doctor came back to speak to Fred. Both Bosco and Fred completely ignored each other since his arrival. Each hating the sight of the other.
"As a police officer, Faith had a very thorough living will." the doctor said while looking at Bosco. Uncertain of whether he should fear another outburst from Bosco.
The doctors words got Bosco's attention. He could remember the day so clearly. It had been when they were still in the academy. They had both signed each other's wills. Both had specific instructions on what should be done in an event like this.
Bosco closed his eyes. ******* "Boz, I don't want to be left on a respirator......I don't want to be a vegetable." her voice soft in his ear.
He usually would have had a smart remark, but Faith's eyes pleaded with him to be serious.
"Faith, that decision will never have to be made."
Determined to make him understand, she continued "Boz, it's important that you understand my wishes, we're going to be cops, dangerous situations are going to be part of the norm. No one can avoid death."
All he could do is nod his head in reply. Not wanting to think about it, he had signed her will and took off.
**** He opened his eyes, returning to the present. Everyone was staring at him.
"Why didn't she ask me about this? How could you sign something like that?" Fred said in disgust and anger.
"It's what she wanted. She had me sign it because she knew that you wouldn't. She could never rely on you Fred!!"
"Oh, and I suppose she could rely on YOU? What a joke, Boscorelli. You were never there for her either."
The realization of those words hit him like a freight train. The abortion, the fights with Fred, the cancer.....she hadn't told him a thing. And when she did he had gotten angry with her. For lying to him, for not telling him right away. Angry instead of supportive. He was no better than Fred.
"That's going to change, starting now." Bosco said with conviction, turning and leaving the hospital. I refuse to sit here and watch her die he said to himself.
Stunned, no one asked where he was going.
----
It had been 48 hours since this nightmare began, 48 hours without sleep and barely any food. Bosco searched the streets all day and night, hoping to find the bastard that hurt Faith. He was a walking zombie. Unaware of anything but his mission. He knew he would kill if he found him. It was that simple fact that kept Bosco going each night. A little voice inside him telling him it was the only way. The only way the pain would stop.
Startled out of his thoughts, his cell phone began to ring.
"Ya"
"Bosco, where the hell are you?" Sully demanded. "You haven't been back to the hospital in over a day. Have you even been checking your messages?"
"I'm going to catch him Sul, it's the only way."
"Listen to me Bosco, they are taking Faith off life support. Everyone's here to say goodbye. Don't you think you should be here, dammit!"
"I have to find him." Bosco almost whispered.
"She needs you! She doesn't need you trying to be hero! How will you ever forgive yourself if you never say goodbye!..........Bosco..........ANSWER ME!"
But all Sully got in response was a dial tone.
-----------
Without knowing why, he found himself in a church. He had never believed in God, what had God done for him? Did God keep him safe from his father? Did God keep Faith safe? No. All Bosco had ever seen of "God" is the pain and suffering of people on the street; Faith in that hospital bed fighting for her life.
"Why are you doing this to her?" he screamed at the ceiling above him. "She is the one of your angels. One of the good ones. TAKE ME! TAKE ME, I deserve it. I'm a mistake, a fucked up mistake!"
He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.
"I promise, I swear to you right now, that if you let her live, I will do everything in my power to never take her for granted again."
The tears continued to stream down his face but he did nothing to remove them. A wave of exhaustion overtook him. He no longer could keep his eyes open. As he laid his head down on the pew in front of him, he could be heard mumbling the words..."take me, take me, tell me what to do......"
--------
He felt safe. A gentle breeze swirled around his face. Sitting atop a rolling hill, wildflowers surrounded him, their scent intoxicating. He recognized the scent, but he couldn't put his finger on it. The sunlight was warm, beating down on his upturned face. Am I dreaming he wondered. Continuing to look around he saw a figure, a woman, standing a few steps from him. Familiarity ran through him. Did he know this woman?
"Hello?" he cautiously asked as he stood from where he was sitting. Wearing a sundress and sandals, the woman's silky hair was left down and was waving in the breeze.
"It's beautiful isn't it?" a soft, rich voice swirled around him but the woman did not turn around.
"Where are we exactly?"
Finally she turned around. "I brought you here Boz."
No. It couldn't be. "Faith....." he uttered in complete shock.
"Last time I checked that was my name," she smiled and her face lit up the sky.
Bosco took the two steps that was separating them and grabbed her into his embrace. Burying his face in her hair he could smell wildflowers....Faith's scent. She was real, she was here in his arms.
"Boz....Boz...I can't breath....." she said with a chuckle.
"Sorry." he said sheepishly, loosening his hold but refusing to let go completely. He brought his hands up to gently cupping her face. "Is this real?" he whispered.
Without warning, Faith stepped away from him.
"Faith?....."
"Don't give up on me Boz. Believe in me.....believe in us."
She disappeared and Bosco snapped awake. A dream. It was just a dream he thought to himself. Trying to shake the eerie feeling, he quickly left the church and drove back to the hospital as fast as he could.
--------
He raced into the ICU, only to see everyone in tears, consoling each other.
You're too late, You failed her again his mind screamed at him. He couldn't understand what was happening.
Emily and Charlie turned from the group to spot Bosco in the doorway. They ran straight to him and hugged him fiercely. He hugged them back, knowing they were a connection to Faith.....his last connection.
"Uncle Bosco, mom's ok, she's going to be ok. She's breathing on her own." Emily said excitedly.
Bosco looked toward Sully, a bewildered look on his face.
Nodding Sully confirmed Emily's news "She's ok Bosco, she's going to pull through. They say it's some kind of miracle."
He gently released Emily and Charlie and moved toward Faith's room. He couldn't speak. He didn't know what to say. He started wonder if THIS too was a dream.
He felt a hand on his shoulder. "You can go see her, Fred is down in the cafeteria." Sully told him gently.
Wordlessly, Bosco moved to Faith's bedside. The swelling had gone down on her face but it had taken on a color of rainbows. She looked so small. Has she always been that fragile he thought to himself. He sat in the chair beside the bed and gently took her hand in his. With his other hand he brushed a few stray strands of hair from her face and let his hand linger there. He closed his eyes and laid his head on her chest. Listening. Her breathing was the sweetest sound he had ever heard.
"I love you Faith." he whispered. "I won't give up on you. I won't give up on us." He closed his eyes, silently thanking the heavens.
Sully stood in the doorway. Nodding his head a smile formed on his lips, he slowly closed the door.
end