Hey I like writing this fic. I actually get reviews! Yey 4 me. I hope the
site I added helped anyone who needed it. Please review this after you read
it coz it really makes my day! Another thing that made my day was watching
'The whole nine yards' with Matthew Perry and Bruce Willis. It is such a
great film I recommend it till I die.
Thanx to Llew for always reviewing and cheering me up! I dedicate this to you.
Disclaimer: you know it hurts to say I don't own them? It physically hurts! Still I'm getting Matthew Perry for my birthday this year. Wait, no, that was a dream I had. Yeah I also got Michael Owen. (For anyone who is NOT English he is a really fit footballer)
'Chandler what's wrong? I think it would be good to speak to him again. Tie up old ends and start again.' I stared at her. She didn't understand. She didn't know. That wasn't the father she knew of. My real one. The one that had killed my sister all those years ago. Probably killed my mother as well. And now it seemed he would be after me.
'Chandler? What's wrong?' Monica asked again. She had seen my expression and was concerned. I couldn't tell her. It would make everything different. My friends would think of me differently. I had worked so hard to make my life normal and keep all this away from them. They hadn't needed to know, maybe they did now. Monica was still looking at me. I had to say something. I took a deep breath.
'Th-that wasn't the dad that I told you I had, that's my moms friends husband. The dad you heard there. well that's my actual dad. The biological one. The gay one is just my adopted one.' I stared at her and allowed it to sink in; I needed time to get over actually admitting it.
'Chandler, you're adopted? Why didn't you-'
'Mon. let me finish ok? It's. hard, complicated. My father was an alcoholic. He would go out drinking all day, spending all the money mom went out and earned during the day. When he was drunk he used to hit my mom, and my older sister. and me.' I paused again. It was hard admitting this had actually happened when I had spent over 25 years denying it to myself. Monica looked shocked, I couldn't blame her. She made a move which looked like she was going to touch my arm but didn't. 'Then, on Thanksgiving, he was really drunk. He smashed the dining table; he started to hit my mom. Lizzie, my sister, tried to stop him but he hit her as well. and killed her.' I stopped as the tears started to flow and sat down in one of the chair. I looked down at the scars on my arm and ran my finger over them. A small pain cried out from my arm and I relished in it.
'Mommy! Don't leave!' I cried out as her figure retreated down the driveway. She didn't even look round. I buried my face in Nora's shoulder and sobbed harder. She held me comfortingly and took me inside the house. She tried to pit me down in one of the chairs but I wouldn't let go. I needed something to hang on to. All the confusion and worry and all the other emotions were all too much for me and I felt that if I let go I would fall.
'Shh Chandler, it's ok. It'll be all right.' She kept repeating. I wanted to believe her but I felt too bad right then. Charles, Nora's husband, walked in to the room and looked at me, then to Nora, then back to me. Nora gave him a look that told him she'd tell him later. 'Come on Chandler let go, I need to ring the police.' I froze, I didn't like the police, dad always yelled at them and since dad was boss in my life they must be bad. True, things were always worse after the police left. I wouldn't let go and so she just rocked me in her arms until I cried myself to sleep.
'Oh. Chandler-. I. I mean we. how could. why?' Monica stuttered. 'Chandler, why didn't you tell us?' she was now standing in front of me and staring down at me. She didn't realise that she was making me uncomfortable. I stood up sharply and ran to the door, locking it.
'Monica, what do I do? Help please. I cant see him, I cant!' once more my mouth wouldn't let me say the things I wanted to and I was saying rubbish. Monica seemed to understand though. She walked over and dead-bolted the door so that I understood she would protect me. She wrapped her arms around me and I buried my head in her shoulder.
'Chandler calm down. Is there anyone you can call? How about your adopted parents? Could they help?' I looked up at her and slowly nodded. Mom could help. Whatever happened when I was a kid, she was always there to comfort me. Subconsciously, I realised, I trusted he because she protected me after my mom abandoned me. I reached over and picked up the phone. I silently thanked whoever was listening that my mom was touring in New York that week. She had called a few days ago to leave her hotel number and I had put it on speed-dial, like I always did.
'Hello?' I heard my moms voice on the phone and almost cried out loud again.
'Mom it's me.' I stated. My voice was shaking and I had started sweating.
'Chandler honey! I was wondering when you'd call. What's up babe?' she was as cheerful as ever and it made me feel better some how.
'Mom I need you to come over. Right now.'
'Chandler what's wrong.' Her voice was serious now; she could tell I was upset.
'I'll tell you when you come over. I'll be at Monica's. Please be quick.' At that I started to shake and cry again. This couldn't be real. It couldn't. I had worked so hard to forget it and now.
'I'll be there in about half an hour ok honey? I promise. Are your friends there?'
'Yeah Monica's here.' At the sound of her name she reached over and touched my hand, sending me a comforting smile that made me feel better.
'Ok. Bye'
'Bye' she hung up the phone. I turned to Monica.
'Sorry but I cant stay here tonight. Not when I know he knows I'm here.' Monica nodded in agreement and went over to open the door. I went with her and clung on to her hand. I knew I was being childish but I was scared. As we opened the door someone tripped over and landed on the floor. I screamed and leapt behind Monica.
'Whoa it's just me.' Said Joey, lifting himself off of the floor. I started to shake violently and gripped on to Monica's hand more tightly.
'Chandler calm down, it'll be all right. He can't hurt you now.' She led me over to her apartment and Joey followed. As Monica shut the door I went over and locked every lock I could find. Ross, Rachel and Phoebe, who were all over by the table, stared at me. I shrugged, trying to hide the fact that I was terrified and went over to sit down on the couch.
'Um, while you were out Chandler, your dad came round.' I jumped up and stared at Rachel, who had spoken. 'You know he doesn't look like a drag queen, he's too.'
'Manly.' Finished Phoebe. 'And he said that he'd drop by again around half seven tonight.' I looked at the clock. Shit! It was twenty past seven already.
'What!' I yelled. My friends looked at me in shock. 'I cant see him! Don't you realise what he's done?' I was shaking violently and started to feel sick.
This wasn't happening.
My knees went weak.
Thanksgiving.
The room was swirling and spinning.
Lizzie. Dead.
There was a knock at the door and I yelled out, before falling to the floor. My world suddenly swam before my eyes and then disappeared in to blackness.
Thanx to Llew for always reviewing and cheering me up! I dedicate this to you.
Disclaimer: you know it hurts to say I don't own them? It physically hurts! Still I'm getting Matthew Perry for my birthday this year. Wait, no, that was a dream I had. Yeah I also got Michael Owen. (For anyone who is NOT English he is a really fit footballer)
'Chandler what's wrong? I think it would be good to speak to him again. Tie up old ends and start again.' I stared at her. She didn't understand. She didn't know. That wasn't the father she knew of. My real one. The one that had killed my sister all those years ago. Probably killed my mother as well. And now it seemed he would be after me.
'Chandler? What's wrong?' Monica asked again. She had seen my expression and was concerned. I couldn't tell her. It would make everything different. My friends would think of me differently. I had worked so hard to make my life normal and keep all this away from them. They hadn't needed to know, maybe they did now. Monica was still looking at me. I had to say something. I took a deep breath.
'Th-that wasn't the dad that I told you I had, that's my moms friends husband. The dad you heard there. well that's my actual dad. The biological one. The gay one is just my adopted one.' I stared at her and allowed it to sink in; I needed time to get over actually admitting it.
'Chandler, you're adopted? Why didn't you-'
'Mon. let me finish ok? It's. hard, complicated. My father was an alcoholic. He would go out drinking all day, spending all the money mom went out and earned during the day. When he was drunk he used to hit my mom, and my older sister. and me.' I paused again. It was hard admitting this had actually happened when I had spent over 25 years denying it to myself. Monica looked shocked, I couldn't blame her. She made a move which looked like she was going to touch my arm but didn't. 'Then, on Thanksgiving, he was really drunk. He smashed the dining table; he started to hit my mom. Lizzie, my sister, tried to stop him but he hit her as well. and killed her.' I stopped as the tears started to flow and sat down in one of the chair. I looked down at the scars on my arm and ran my finger over them. A small pain cried out from my arm and I relished in it.
'Mommy! Don't leave!' I cried out as her figure retreated down the driveway. She didn't even look round. I buried my face in Nora's shoulder and sobbed harder. She held me comfortingly and took me inside the house. She tried to pit me down in one of the chairs but I wouldn't let go. I needed something to hang on to. All the confusion and worry and all the other emotions were all too much for me and I felt that if I let go I would fall.
'Shh Chandler, it's ok. It'll be all right.' She kept repeating. I wanted to believe her but I felt too bad right then. Charles, Nora's husband, walked in to the room and looked at me, then to Nora, then back to me. Nora gave him a look that told him she'd tell him later. 'Come on Chandler let go, I need to ring the police.' I froze, I didn't like the police, dad always yelled at them and since dad was boss in my life they must be bad. True, things were always worse after the police left. I wouldn't let go and so she just rocked me in her arms until I cried myself to sleep.
'Oh. Chandler-. I. I mean we. how could. why?' Monica stuttered. 'Chandler, why didn't you tell us?' she was now standing in front of me and staring down at me. She didn't realise that she was making me uncomfortable. I stood up sharply and ran to the door, locking it.
'Monica, what do I do? Help please. I cant see him, I cant!' once more my mouth wouldn't let me say the things I wanted to and I was saying rubbish. Monica seemed to understand though. She walked over and dead-bolted the door so that I understood she would protect me. She wrapped her arms around me and I buried my head in her shoulder.
'Chandler calm down. Is there anyone you can call? How about your adopted parents? Could they help?' I looked up at her and slowly nodded. Mom could help. Whatever happened when I was a kid, she was always there to comfort me. Subconsciously, I realised, I trusted he because she protected me after my mom abandoned me. I reached over and picked up the phone. I silently thanked whoever was listening that my mom was touring in New York that week. She had called a few days ago to leave her hotel number and I had put it on speed-dial, like I always did.
'Hello?' I heard my moms voice on the phone and almost cried out loud again.
'Mom it's me.' I stated. My voice was shaking and I had started sweating.
'Chandler honey! I was wondering when you'd call. What's up babe?' she was as cheerful as ever and it made me feel better some how.
'Mom I need you to come over. Right now.'
'Chandler what's wrong.' Her voice was serious now; she could tell I was upset.
'I'll tell you when you come over. I'll be at Monica's. Please be quick.' At that I started to shake and cry again. This couldn't be real. It couldn't. I had worked so hard to forget it and now.
'I'll be there in about half an hour ok honey? I promise. Are your friends there?'
'Yeah Monica's here.' At the sound of her name she reached over and touched my hand, sending me a comforting smile that made me feel better.
'Ok. Bye'
'Bye' she hung up the phone. I turned to Monica.
'Sorry but I cant stay here tonight. Not when I know he knows I'm here.' Monica nodded in agreement and went over to open the door. I went with her and clung on to her hand. I knew I was being childish but I was scared. As we opened the door someone tripped over and landed on the floor. I screamed and leapt behind Monica.
'Whoa it's just me.' Said Joey, lifting himself off of the floor. I started to shake violently and gripped on to Monica's hand more tightly.
'Chandler calm down, it'll be all right. He can't hurt you now.' She led me over to her apartment and Joey followed. As Monica shut the door I went over and locked every lock I could find. Ross, Rachel and Phoebe, who were all over by the table, stared at me. I shrugged, trying to hide the fact that I was terrified and went over to sit down on the couch.
'Um, while you were out Chandler, your dad came round.' I jumped up and stared at Rachel, who had spoken. 'You know he doesn't look like a drag queen, he's too.'
'Manly.' Finished Phoebe. 'And he said that he'd drop by again around half seven tonight.' I looked at the clock. Shit! It was twenty past seven already.
'What!' I yelled. My friends looked at me in shock. 'I cant see him! Don't you realise what he's done?' I was shaking violently and started to feel sick.
This wasn't happening.
My knees went weak.
Thanksgiving.
The room was swirling and spinning.
Lizzie. Dead.
There was a knock at the door and I yelled out, before falling to the floor. My world suddenly swam before my eyes and then disappeared in to blackness.