Just a little note here to say that I'm not in the mood for writing so this
may seem a little worse. Your reviews will maybe make me better. Oh and
this is set in any season before London and Chandler isn't dating anyone. I
forgot to mention that. Oh and please read and review my other fanfic
'scary friends' it took me ages to write. Its rated g but its not. I think
its something like PG-13 but I'm English and have no concept of American
ratings.
I was awake, but my eyes were closed. I could hear what the people in the room were saying. I tried to fully wake up but I was too tiered.
'Is that why he always hated thanksgiving then?' that was Phoebes voice. Sweet again, just like Lizzie.
'Um you know, I would think it is! His sister getting killed like that.' Ross' voice answered. I thought about getting up, but then I remembered why I had my panic attack in the first place. My father. Even thinking about him could do this to me. I hated it. I was weak, proving all the taunts that my father had drilled in to me for the first five years of my life, which had stuck with me for the rest of my life.
Finally I decide to get up. I would have to face my friends later anyway. I open my eyes and my friends' faces stared down at me. All of them mirrored the same looks on their faces; anxiety, worry and concern. I blinked and sat up. They all took a step backwards and stared at me as if I was on display at a zoo.
'Sweetey, are you all right?' asked Monica, she knew why I was scared. 'It's ok, we told him you were out of town on business for a few weeks, he seemed to buy it.' I sighed with an instant relief and sank back to the floor. I closed my eyes and tried not to think. My dad wouldn't come here for another few weeks so I was safe until then, wasn't I? It didn't feel that way.
'Dude, uh, Mon told us what you said about your dad.' Joey told me. I opened my eyes and looked at Monica. I didn't know whether to be grateful or shocked.
'Thanks Mon.' I said sincerely, she seemed to relax knowing I wasn't mad. 'Sorry I freaked out like that. I guess he just has that effect on me.'
I woke up on the sofa in a strange house. I recognized it, but it wasn't home. In a way I was relieved that I wasn't at home, if I wasn't at home then I wasn't near dad. But I was also worried. The last time I woke up somewhere that wasn't home it was in the hospital. My dad had pushed me down the stairs. Luckily I hadn't broken any bones but I needed to rest for a few days.
I looked around and saw the vaguely familiar living room. I had visited here a few times before. My head ached from last night and I tried to think what had happened. A swirling nausea swept over me as I remembered. Lizzie, Mom, both gone. I cried out loudly. Everything was too overwhelming and I felt like someone was crushing me.
Nora came running out to me and held me as I cried. She rocked me back and forth, comforting me in a way my mom had never. I cries went down to quiet sobs and she took me to the spare room that Lizzie and me always used to stay in when we visited. She lay me down on the bed and covered me with a blanket. I snuggled under it and tried to get away from the bad things that were happening.
The phone rang and Nora went out of the room to answer it. I drifted off to sleep again.
I woke up a few hours later, immediately I knew something was wrong. Nora and Charles were talking just outside my door in hushed voices, but I could hear them.
'I don't think he's in any fit state to be told Charles! He's only five years old and already he's suffered more then any decent person should in their whole lives. I think we should tell him when he's older.'
'When he's older it will be too late! He'll resent us for not telling him now! You just see.' With that Charles stormed off. I snuggled deeper in to my covers. Any time I was around adults they were arguing. My dad must be right, I thought, I'm a very bad person. This seemed right, everyone was always mad at me, apart from Lizzie.
There was another knock at the door and I started to panic again.
'Chandler sweety, it's me!' Nora's voice called through the door. I ran up to answer it, checking through the peephole first to make sure she was alone. I pulled the door open and pulled her in to a hug. She led me inside, without breaking the hug.
'He was here wasn't he?' she said, guessing my dilemma instantly. I nodded and hung my head slightly, feeling somehow like I was in the wrong, the way I felt everytime he was around. 'Oh my baby.' She said and hugged me again. My friends looked on at us as I told her what he had said over the phone, and what excuse was made up this time.
'I thought they put him in jail after killing Lizzie.' I said. That was true. A few days after I went to stay at Nora's they had a call saying that he had been sent away. Nora just looked uncomfortable. 'He was put away, wasn't he?' I asked. He had to be. They said.
'Well, he was put away dear.' Nora said, and then she sighed and sat down at the kitchen table. 'You see a few days after you came to us he was put on trial. It was pretty quick and after a few days the trial had ended and he was sent to a mental institution. He had pleaded guilty with temporary insanity and got off with 15 years in a mental institution for the criminally insane.' I stared at her with disbelief. I couldn't believe she lied to me about this. 'Sorry sweety, I wanted to tell you but at the time you were just so. fragile I was worried about you. I was going to tell you when you were a bit older but then Charles decided he'd rather open a drag show in Vegas then be with us.'
'I cant believe you'd lie to me like this! This was impotant!' I yelled. The pressure was mounting on me again and blackness was started to settle in. I fought it off and stared at Nora, the person who I had trusted my life to, the person who had just told me that the most important issue of my life was a lie.
'Chandler, you don't understand-'
'No you don't understand. You mean that for the last eight years of my life he could have come after me?' she started to speak again but I cut her off. 'And even when he was released you didn't tell me.' I needed to get out of there. To escape from reality and the stares of my friends, who were beginning to understand why I was so messed up.
I got up from my seat and walked to the door.
'Chandler! Where are you going?' Nora called; I ignored her and walked out. I ran down the stairs and out to the cool night. I didn't know where I was going to go, I just needed to be alone. Half an hour later I realised I was in the park. I sat down on a bench under a light and put my head in my hands. A shadow fell over me and I looked up and saw the person casting the shadow and the breath caught in my throat.
My dad.
I was awake, but my eyes were closed. I could hear what the people in the room were saying. I tried to fully wake up but I was too tiered.
'Is that why he always hated thanksgiving then?' that was Phoebes voice. Sweet again, just like Lizzie.
'Um you know, I would think it is! His sister getting killed like that.' Ross' voice answered. I thought about getting up, but then I remembered why I had my panic attack in the first place. My father. Even thinking about him could do this to me. I hated it. I was weak, proving all the taunts that my father had drilled in to me for the first five years of my life, which had stuck with me for the rest of my life.
Finally I decide to get up. I would have to face my friends later anyway. I open my eyes and my friends' faces stared down at me. All of them mirrored the same looks on their faces; anxiety, worry and concern. I blinked and sat up. They all took a step backwards and stared at me as if I was on display at a zoo.
'Sweetey, are you all right?' asked Monica, she knew why I was scared. 'It's ok, we told him you were out of town on business for a few weeks, he seemed to buy it.' I sighed with an instant relief and sank back to the floor. I closed my eyes and tried not to think. My dad wouldn't come here for another few weeks so I was safe until then, wasn't I? It didn't feel that way.
'Dude, uh, Mon told us what you said about your dad.' Joey told me. I opened my eyes and looked at Monica. I didn't know whether to be grateful or shocked.
'Thanks Mon.' I said sincerely, she seemed to relax knowing I wasn't mad. 'Sorry I freaked out like that. I guess he just has that effect on me.'
I woke up on the sofa in a strange house. I recognized it, but it wasn't home. In a way I was relieved that I wasn't at home, if I wasn't at home then I wasn't near dad. But I was also worried. The last time I woke up somewhere that wasn't home it was in the hospital. My dad had pushed me down the stairs. Luckily I hadn't broken any bones but I needed to rest for a few days.
I looked around and saw the vaguely familiar living room. I had visited here a few times before. My head ached from last night and I tried to think what had happened. A swirling nausea swept over me as I remembered. Lizzie, Mom, both gone. I cried out loudly. Everything was too overwhelming and I felt like someone was crushing me.
Nora came running out to me and held me as I cried. She rocked me back and forth, comforting me in a way my mom had never. I cries went down to quiet sobs and she took me to the spare room that Lizzie and me always used to stay in when we visited. She lay me down on the bed and covered me with a blanket. I snuggled under it and tried to get away from the bad things that were happening.
The phone rang and Nora went out of the room to answer it. I drifted off to sleep again.
I woke up a few hours later, immediately I knew something was wrong. Nora and Charles were talking just outside my door in hushed voices, but I could hear them.
'I don't think he's in any fit state to be told Charles! He's only five years old and already he's suffered more then any decent person should in their whole lives. I think we should tell him when he's older.'
'When he's older it will be too late! He'll resent us for not telling him now! You just see.' With that Charles stormed off. I snuggled deeper in to my covers. Any time I was around adults they were arguing. My dad must be right, I thought, I'm a very bad person. This seemed right, everyone was always mad at me, apart from Lizzie.
There was another knock at the door and I started to panic again.
'Chandler sweety, it's me!' Nora's voice called through the door. I ran up to answer it, checking through the peephole first to make sure she was alone. I pulled the door open and pulled her in to a hug. She led me inside, without breaking the hug.
'He was here wasn't he?' she said, guessing my dilemma instantly. I nodded and hung my head slightly, feeling somehow like I was in the wrong, the way I felt everytime he was around. 'Oh my baby.' She said and hugged me again. My friends looked on at us as I told her what he had said over the phone, and what excuse was made up this time.
'I thought they put him in jail after killing Lizzie.' I said. That was true. A few days after I went to stay at Nora's they had a call saying that he had been sent away. Nora just looked uncomfortable. 'He was put away, wasn't he?' I asked. He had to be. They said.
'Well, he was put away dear.' Nora said, and then she sighed and sat down at the kitchen table. 'You see a few days after you came to us he was put on trial. It was pretty quick and after a few days the trial had ended and he was sent to a mental institution. He had pleaded guilty with temporary insanity and got off with 15 years in a mental institution for the criminally insane.' I stared at her with disbelief. I couldn't believe she lied to me about this. 'Sorry sweety, I wanted to tell you but at the time you were just so. fragile I was worried about you. I was going to tell you when you were a bit older but then Charles decided he'd rather open a drag show in Vegas then be with us.'
'I cant believe you'd lie to me like this! This was impotant!' I yelled. The pressure was mounting on me again and blackness was started to settle in. I fought it off and stared at Nora, the person who I had trusted my life to, the person who had just told me that the most important issue of my life was a lie.
'Chandler, you don't understand-'
'No you don't understand. You mean that for the last eight years of my life he could have come after me?' she started to speak again but I cut her off. 'And even when he was released you didn't tell me.' I needed to get out of there. To escape from reality and the stares of my friends, who were beginning to understand why I was so messed up.
I got up from my seat and walked to the door.
'Chandler! Where are you going?' Nora called; I ignored her and walked out. I ran down the stairs and out to the cool night. I didn't know where I was going to go, I just needed to be alone. Half an hour later I realised I was in the park. I sat down on a bench under a light and put my head in my hands. A shadow fell over me and I looked up and saw the person casting the shadow and the breath caught in my throat.
My dad.