Ahh that's better. Parents have stopped fighting and now im feeling better.
This one might be longer, might be shorter but I'll try to make to like 4
pages coz any longer and you wont hear from me for weeks ok? This'll be
like the second or third from last chapter ok?
Also I took a friends quiz that Llew sent me and it turned out that im like Chandler! Sweet (
'Chandler! Where are you going?' Nora called; I ignored her and walked out. I ran down the stairs and out to the cool night. I didn't know where I was going to go, I just needed to be alone. Half an hour later I realised I was in the park. I sat down on a bench under a light and put my head in my hands. A shadow fell over me and I looked up and saw the person casting the shadow and the breath caught in my throat.
My dad.
I looked up at him. Instantly I knew he was drunk. He always was.
'Hello, son.' He said. Again it was simple, normal thing to say but to me it sounded like a threat. The only time he spoke to me when I was a child was to either threaten me or shout insults to me. I stood up to face him. Coming out was a mistake. A big one. 'Why did your friends just say that you were out of town on a business trip son? Don't you want to see me?' he was swaying to and fro as he spoke. I thought of running but I needed to get this over with. Not like last time.
It was a few years later and I was almost nine years old. I was playing in the park with my friends, the only ones that weren't bullying me. It was getting late and they were all getting called in before it got dark. There wasn't a particular reason these streets were safe. But there was something different about today. It was warm but the sun was totally hidden in the clouds all day. There was no activity out, just me and the few friends whose parents were letting them stay out. The park looked eerie in the hazy twilight and we decided to go in.
I said goodbye to my friends who lived on the other side of the park and headed home. Nora was out at a book signing and I couldn't find the houseboy or Charles. That was becoming common now. I was home alone. That's how I liked it, no distractions from having fun and no rules. I walked in to the kitchen to get a drink.
Standing by the sink was my dad. The door closed behind me and suddenly I felt trapped. There was nowhere to run. As he advanced on me I cowered by the door, just like old times, I thought.
'Where is she?' he asked. His voice brought back many unwelcome memories, ones of a past I really wanted to forget, ones that were permanently etched into my brain. 'Where is she!' he shouted again.
'I don't know.' I said, my voice shaking. I didn't know who he meant but if I said that I didn't know then maybe he would go away.
'Don't lie to me you little freak!' he was standing above me now, the usual sight, fist raised, face red, shaking all over with rage. 'Tell me where you mother is!' he picked me up easily with one hand. Even after over three years I was still scared of him. Of course I was.
'I don't know!' I shouted. I immediately wished I hadn't. He dropped me to the floor and I sank down, out of his reach. I could smell the alcohol on his clothes and remembered back to the times where that smell would creep up on me in the night. He bent down so we were eye level.
'If you don't tell me where she is you little brat, then I'll come after you and break every tiny bone in your body. Then I'll lock you away for disobeying me and you'll never get to come out and be the failer that you will eventually become.' His words drilled themselves in to my head, so that I would remember them forever. 'Because you will never amount to anything, no one will ever love you, that's why they all leave you. Even your own parents don't want you.'
The front door slammed but I knew better then to get my hopes up. Dad was more powerful then anyone else that could be the one walking through the door. Dad noticed the door slamming too and he got back up and looked me square in the eye.
'If anyone finds out I was here Chandler, you know what'll happen.' He said and then left out the back door.
'Why are you here?' I said, I tried to sound brave but my voice was shaking.
'Can't a father come and see his only son?' he said. There was a trace of self-pity in his voice, as if I was the one driving him away, I was bad, he was good. But that's how it used to be.
'You never wanted to see me before, so why now?' I was getting braver; I felt I could handle him now.
'You don't understand what it was like Chandler. Every day having to come home to the same people, the same annoying kids, the same nagging wife who made no secret in the fact that she didn't love me any more. I was driven to drink. And that made me do stupid things. You have to understand what it was like Chandler. Don't ever tell me you never found it hard sometimes.' I knew better then to take pity on him.
'Yes I found it hard sometimes but I would never so what you did.' I spat at him.
'Chandler, I came here to try and talk to you. I've changed now and want to make things better between us. Give us another chance Chandler. Please. Don't you think we deserve it?'
'I deserve it! You don't deserve anything. I don't owe you and I hate you! I never want to see you again. Just leave and don't come anywhere near me, ever!' I shouted. People in the park had begun to stare but it didn't bother me, I was winning! I was winning over my father. I felt great. My dad just stared at me but I had nothing else to say so I walked off. I decided to go home. I was safer home.
'Chandler wait!' My dad called. I looked round at him. There was a look in his eyes that brought a flicker of fear back to me. It was the look he always got whenever he was mad, but couldn't show it. His eyes showed it all though. He walked up to me so we were standing eye to eye. My instinct was to run but I stood my ground, convincing myself that I could do this. 'You will never get rid of me Chandler. Just remember that. I'll be seeing you soon.' Then he walked away.
I stood by the bench in the park for a while, thinking when I would see him again. The time when I was nine wasn't the only time that I ran in to him. It seemed that he really wanted to see my mom again and thought I knew where she was. I hadn't seen her since that thanksgiving when she abandoned me.
I started to walk home. I felt I would be safer there, even if he did know where I lived, my friends were there. As I reached the park gates I saw Monica.
'Chandler!' she yelled, running up to me and hugging me. I cried out slightly as she touched the scars on my arm. 'Oh, sorry honey. Chandler where'd you go? Everyone's out looking for you. It's not safe to be out here with your father after you. Nora explained why he was after you.' She paused and looked at me. 'You don't know where she is do you?' I stared at her.
'No! I don't Monica. I haven't seen her since she abandoned me. And even if I did see her I wouldn't sell her out to that psychotic maniac.' I pushed past her and walked back home.
'Chandler!' she called after me and started to follow me. She had to run to keep up. 'Chandler, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that.'
'Listen Mon I need to be alone.'
'But with him after you it's not safe to be alone.'
'I just met him. Im still alive now aren't I?' I looked at her. There was genuine concern in her eyes. Something no one has ever felt for me before. I calmed down a bit before I continued. 'Monica if you really want to help me then you can come with me.' I offered. Monica smiled. It seemed to mean a lot for her to help me. We walked back to my apartment. The knife was still on the kitchen counter top. Monica sighed when she saw it and I shrugged.
'I'll clean this while you go and get me some of that ointment thing in my bathroom ok?' I nodded and went to get it. I was feeling a little better now. I had stood up to my father. I knew I hadn't won; it was imposable to win when you knew he could still come after you.
I found the ointment and went back to my apartment. Monica wasn't where I had left her.
'Monica?' I called out. There was no answer. I started to get scared. I looked around and noticed there must have been a scuffle. A few plates were knocked to the floor and the knife was no longer there. A bottle of alcohol sat on the counter top.
Suddenly my dad appeared from around the corner, holding the knife to Monicas' throat. She was terrified.
'I told you I'd see you soon. A pity you won't listen. Now say good bye to your friend.'
This seems like a cruel place to leave it for the moment. Please review or else I wont continue (now that WOULD be cruel HAHAHAAAAAAAAA)
Also I took a friends quiz that Llew sent me and it turned out that im like Chandler! Sweet (
'Chandler! Where are you going?' Nora called; I ignored her and walked out. I ran down the stairs and out to the cool night. I didn't know where I was going to go, I just needed to be alone. Half an hour later I realised I was in the park. I sat down on a bench under a light and put my head in my hands. A shadow fell over me and I looked up and saw the person casting the shadow and the breath caught in my throat.
My dad.
I looked up at him. Instantly I knew he was drunk. He always was.
'Hello, son.' He said. Again it was simple, normal thing to say but to me it sounded like a threat. The only time he spoke to me when I was a child was to either threaten me or shout insults to me. I stood up to face him. Coming out was a mistake. A big one. 'Why did your friends just say that you were out of town on a business trip son? Don't you want to see me?' he was swaying to and fro as he spoke. I thought of running but I needed to get this over with. Not like last time.
It was a few years later and I was almost nine years old. I was playing in the park with my friends, the only ones that weren't bullying me. It was getting late and they were all getting called in before it got dark. There wasn't a particular reason these streets were safe. But there was something different about today. It was warm but the sun was totally hidden in the clouds all day. There was no activity out, just me and the few friends whose parents were letting them stay out. The park looked eerie in the hazy twilight and we decided to go in.
I said goodbye to my friends who lived on the other side of the park and headed home. Nora was out at a book signing and I couldn't find the houseboy or Charles. That was becoming common now. I was home alone. That's how I liked it, no distractions from having fun and no rules. I walked in to the kitchen to get a drink.
Standing by the sink was my dad. The door closed behind me and suddenly I felt trapped. There was nowhere to run. As he advanced on me I cowered by the door, just like old times, I thought.
'Where is she?' he asked. His voice brought back many unwelcome memories, ones of a past I really wanted to forget, ones that were permanently etched into my brain. 'Where is she!' he shouted again.
'I don't know.' I said, my voice shaking. I didn't know who he meant but if I said that I didn't know then maybe he would go away.
'Don't lie to me you little freak!' he was standing above me now, the usual sight, fist raised, face red, shaking all over with rage. 'Tell me where you mother is!' he picked me up easily with one hand. Even after over three years I was still scared of him. Of course I was.
'I don't know!' I shouted. I immediately wished I hadn't. He dropped me to the floor and I sank down, out of his reach. I could smell the alcohol on his clothes and remembered back to the times where that smell would creep up on me in the night. He bent down so we were eye level.
'If you don't tell me where she is you little brat, then I'll come after you and break every tiny bone in your body. Then I'll lock you away for disobeying me and you'll never get to come out and be the failer that you will eventually become.' His words drilled themselves in to my head, so that I would remember them forever. 'Because you will never amount to anything, no one will ever love you, that's why they all leave you. Even your own parents don't want you.'
The front door slammed but I knew better then to get my hopes up. Dad was more powerful then anyone else that could be the one walking through the door. Dad noticed the door slamming too and he got back up and looked me square in the eye.
'If anyone finds out I was here Chandler, you know what'll happen.' He said and then left out the back door.
'Why are you here?' I said, I tried to sound brave but my voice was shaking.
'Can't a father come and see his only son?' he said. There was a trace of self-pity in his voice, as if I was the one driving him away, I was bad, he was good. But that's how it used to be.
'You never wanted to see me before, so why now?' I was getting braver; I felt I could handle him now.
'You don't understand what it was like Chandler. Every day having to come home to the same people, the same annoying kids, the same nagging wife who made no secret in the fact that she didn't love me any more. I was driven to drink. And that made me do stupid things. You have to understand what it was like Chandler. Don't ever tell me you never found it hard sometimes.' I knew better then to take pity on him.
'Yes I found it hard sometimes but I would never so what you did.' I spat at him.
'Chandler, I came here to try and talk to you. I've changed now and want to make things better between us. Give us another chance Chandler. Please. Don't you think we deserve it?'
'I deserve it! You don't deserve anything. I don't owe you and I hate you! I never want to see you again. Just leave and don't come anywhere near me, ever!' I shouted. People in the park had begun to stare but it didn't bother me, I was winning! I was winning over my father. I felt great. My dad just stared at me but I had nothing else to say so I walked off. I decided to go home. I was safer home.
'Chandler wait!' My dad called. I looked round at him. There was a look in his eyes that brought a flicker of fear back to me. It was the look he always got whenever he was mad, but couldn't show it. His eyes showed it all though. He walked up to me so we were standing eye to eye. My instinct was to run but I stood my ground, convincing myself that I could do this. 'You will never get rid of me Chandler. Just remember that. I'll be seeing you soon.' Then he walked away.
I stood by the bench in the park for a while, thinking when I would see him again. The time when I was nine wasn't the only time that I ran in to him. It seemed that he really wanted to see my mom again and thought I knew where she was. I hadn't seen her since that thanksgiving when she abandoned me.
I started to walk home. I felt I would be safer there, even if he did know where I lived, my friends were there. As I reached the park gates I saw Monica.
'Chandler!' she yelled, running up to me and hugging me. I cried out slightly as she touched the scars on my arm. 'Oh, sorry honey. Chandler where'd you go? Everyone's out looking for you. It's not safe to be out here with your father after you. Nora explained why he was after you.' She paused and looked at me. 'You don't know where she is do you?' I stared at her.
'No! I don't Monica. I haven't seen her since she abandoned me. And even if I did see her I wouldn't sell her out to that psychotic maniac.' I pushed past her and walked back home.
'Chandler!' she called after me and started to follow me. She had to run to keep up. 'Chandler, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that.'
'Listen Mon I need to be alone.'
'But with him after you it's not safe to be alone.'
'I just met him. Im still alive now aren't I?' I looked at her. There was genuine concern in her eyes. Something no one has ever felt for me before. I calmed down a bit before I continued. 'Monica if you really want to help me then you can come with me.' I offered. Monica smiled. It seemed to mean a lot for her to help me. We walked back to my apartment. The knife was still on the kitchen counter top. Monica sighed when she saw it and I shrugged.
'I'll clean this while you go and get me some of that ointment thing in my bathroom ok?' I nodded and went to get it. I was feeling a little better now. I had stood up to my father. I knew I hadn't won; it was imposable to win when you knew he could still come after you.
I found the ointment and went back to my apartment. Monica wasn't where I had left her.
'Monica?' I called out. There was no answer. I started to get scared. I looked around and noticed there must have been a scuffle. A few plates were knocked to the floor and the knife was no longer there. A bottle of alcohol sat on the counter top.
Suddenly my dad appeared from around the corner, holding the knife to Monicas' throat. She was terrified.
'I told you I'd see you soon. A pity you won't listen. Now say good bye to your friend.'
This seems like a cruel place to leave it for the moment. Please review or else I wont continue (now that WOULD be cruel HAHAHAAAAAAAAA)