Summer Holidays Malcolm sat on the couch, his finger held down on the channel changer button, so that every three seconds the channel on the television changed. Malcolm was bored, and it was only the first day of the holidays. He had slept in until 11 o'clock, when Dewey woke him up complaining that Reese was trying to set fire to all Dewey's underpants. Malcolm got up, gave Dewey the fire extinguisher, and tried to sleep again. Then Reese came in and asked Malcolm how to operate Hal's blowtorch, so he could set fire to all Dewey's undies. Malcolm told him where the instructions were, then decided he had better get up. After a breakfast of cornflakes with week old milk (tasty) that even Dewey had been scared to drink, Malcolm had sat on the couch, only to find that the one and only thing on television was home shopping, Christianity shows, and yeah, not to mention the community free-to-air channel. Malcolm heard screams coming from the bedroom, walked in and found Reese standing over Dewey with a clenched fist. Malcolm, who had been left in charge while Hal and Lois went to work because Reese was too immature and bullying, intercepted with a cleverly placed, "Who want ice-cream sandwiches?" (A/N: Ice cream sandwiches does NOT mean ice cream on bread, it is really big chocolate biscuit things with Ice cream squished in between). Then after their 4 sandwiches each Dewey felt a bit sick. He fell asleep on the couch. Malcolm and Reese knew this was an opportunity too good to pass up. Malcolm grabbed the permanent markers, and Reese 'borrowed' Hal's shaving cream and Lois' lipstick. First, they drew glasses, a big curly moustache and a little goatee on Dewey's face, and added extra thick eyebrows. Then they got Lois' lipsticks, picked the worst coloured one (a 'lovely' terracotta brown) and put it on Dewey's lips, extra thick. The next step was to cover the rest of Dewey's face with shaving cream. If Dewey moved a fraction of an inch the shaving cream would go absolutely everywhere. "Perfect." Reese said, his smile so wide you could almost fit a whole banana in there. Then he frowned, "But it needs something else." He pondered this for a while, and then finally he had the evilest grin imaginable. "I know exactly what to do." Reese grabbed a permanent marker, and walked over to Dewey. He pulled down his pants, and then drew a big smiley face on Dewey's butt, using the crack as a symmetrical reference point. Malcolm cracked up, and was doubled up laughing for about ten minutes. So was Reese. Then they heard a car door slam. The looked out the door and saw Lois walking up the driveway. They scampered out the back door hid outside. Reese up a tree, and Malcolm behind the fence in the bush. They heard the key turn in the lock, footsteps, then finally what they had been waiting for; "REESE, MALCOLM! GET IN HERE!" Reese jumped out of the tree and over the fence. He crouched next to Malcolm. "Should we make a run for it?" He asked. "Definitely. But where?" Malcolm replied, slightly hysterical. "Umm, what about Stevie's?" "O.K. But we better hurry, I think she's coming outside." End of chapter 1

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