Title: "Seth, Link, and Zelda's Undies Don't Mix"
Written by:
Kalakamra
Co-written by:
Diablo Omega
Rating: PG-13 for violence, undies and maybe R for some innuendo.
Notes: We wrote this in, no kidding, 20 minutes after a fight with a hockey stick...Oo; Hope you like it. Blame Kalakamra. This is all his fault...
Link and Seth were walking quickly down the hall, arguing hotly. "It's my turn," growled Link, grabbing the basket of laundry.
"No. Its. Not!" Gritted Seth as he struggled to regain his prize: Princess Zelda's Unmentionables.
Link grabbed one end of the wicker container and stumbling into the tiny wash room. "You aren't even supposed to be here, Mr. I'm-Too-Good-For-My-Restraining-Order-As-Set-By-Princess-Zelda-Herself!" Hissed the Savior of Time, as he added soap to the tub of water.
"Okay, okay, fine!" Grumbled Seth as he glanced furtively around and slipped into the small stone room.
Link grinned in a perverted way and held up a pair of violet silk panties with a large, glistening wet patch in the crotch. "I guess she was thinking of me again..."
Seth clenched his fist and shook it in a silent wish, and went back to washing a satin teddy on the washboard, until...
Link selected another pair of panties as he slipped the wet pair into his legging pocket, chuckling lewdly.
"What are you doing?" demanded the trench-coat clad elf, blue bangs rustling slightly against his pale forehead as he whipped fully around, teal-tinted eyes gleaming fiercely as he glared at the offending Hyrulian.
"I have rights to these articles as the Hero of Time and Savior of Hyrule," drawled the young hero, drawing himself up proudly, shallow chest puffed out to its full extent, which was not far.
"Yeah, sure O Hero-to-all-Perverts-Great-and-Small..." grumbled Seth, his narrow frame shaking with excitement as he grabbed a handful of the Princess' delicates, stuffing them into his deep trench coat pockets.
"Put 'em back, Seth," said Link, not looking up from his washings.
"No," replied Seth, equally engrossed in his task.
"I'm serious, elf-boy," laughed the Hyrulian condescendingly, picking up a dirty bra as he set aside a newly-cleaned one.
'Oh, that's it! Bring it on you fairy!" snarled the Verditian, trench coat rustling as he turned around again, flying into an impulsive rage on the spot.
"What did you say!?" cried Link, task forgotten as he turned to face his new foe.
"You heard me," spoke Seth calmly, sliding his hands casually into his pockets.
"I. Am. Not. A. Fairy!" scowled the blonde, clenching his fists till they turned white.
"Yeah, sure," snorted the black-haired lad. He continued with a smug sneer, "Last I heard, you and that Sheik guy were getting down and dirty in the broom closet..."
"Sheik was Princess Zelda in disguise so her enemies wouldn't find her!" shouted Link, his voice shrilling swiftly in his fiery temper's wake.
"Oh, yeah, that really worked, then you had to rescue her again."
"That's it! Bring it on, you skinny freak!"
"You want some?! Huh!? Come get some, ya fruit!"
"Fine, I will, you gay elf!"
"Well, it might interest you to know that I have the one weapon to bring you down!"
"Oh yeah? What?"
Seth smirked triumphantly as he played his trump card: "A wet, dirty mop!"
"No," mouthed Link, voiceless in his wide-eyed horror.
"That's right, Missing Link. I'll ruin you and your non-threatening, Michael J. Fox-style boyish good looks forever!" Seth lunged at Link, sopping mop-head first, the Virditian war cry ripping from his throat: "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
The blonde fended him off ever-so-slightly, dodging the murky mop-top and gripping the pole, gritting his teeth, trying to push the Virditian from him. Seth grimaced, then smiled as he forced Link onto the cold stone floor, head just above the washtub full of dirty, soapy water. "Lets see how well Sheik taught you to hold your breath!" laughed the elf, forcing his foe's head into the water.
Link cried out, "No!" then swallowed the murky water as his head was forced under the surface. Moments later he was brought into the air and he choked, gasping and panting for breath.
"Aww...Did Sheik really get off that quickly? Or were you just talented?" grinned Seth maliciously, submerging his rival's head back into the tub.
"What are you doing?" came a voice from the doorway.
Seth still clutched Link's tunic, but he looked over to the door, bubbles from the water-logged blonde.
Princess Zelda stood framed in the door, hands on her hips, adding, "I need those undies. I'm currently going commando here!"
A deep crimson blush crept over the elf's pale cheeks.
"Wait...Seth? What are you doing here? Isn't the restraining order still in effect!?"
"Well, lets just say your guards are a few clover short of a meadow..."
"Whatever...Is that Link!?"
"Oh..." The Virdirtian remembered the warrior he was drowning, and pulled him up. "Oops..."
The Hero of Time spluttered, hair sopping and his face a faint bluish tint.
"What were you doing?" asked Zelda, forgetting the killer elf who was holding her love.
"Um...er...the thing about that is...Yoink!" he stammered, grabbing a further handful of Zelda's undies and bolting out the window. Into the moat 100 feet below...
END!
Written by:
Kalakamra
Co-written by:
Diablo Omega
Rating: PG-13 for violence, undies and maybe R for some innuendo.
Notes: We wrote this in, no kidding, 20 minutes after a fight with a hockey stick...Oo; Hope you like it. Blame Kalakamra. This is all his fault...
Link and Seth were walking quickly down the hall, arguing hotly. "It's my turn," growled Link, grabbing the basket of laundry.
"No. Its. Not!" Gritted Seth as he struggled to regain his prize: Princess Zelda's Unmentionables.
Link grabbed one end of the wicker container and stumbling into the tiny wash room. "You aren't even supposed to be here, Mr. I'm-Too-Good-For-My-Restraining-Order-As-Set-By-Princess-Zelda-Herself!" Hissed the Savior of Time, as he added soap to the tub of water.
"Okay, okay, fine!" Grumbled Seth as he glanced furtively around and slipped into the small stone room.
Link grinned in a perverted way and held up a pair of violet silk panties with a large, glistening wet patch in the crotch. "I guess she was thinking of me again..."
Seth clenched his fist and shook it in a silent wish, and went back to washing a satin teddy on the washboard, until...
Link selected another pair of panties as he slipped the wet pair into his legging pocket, chuckling lewdly.
"What are you doing?" demanded the trench-coat clad elf, blue bangs rustling slightly against his pale forehead as he whipped fully around, teal-tinted eyes gleaming fiercely as he glared at the offending Hyrulian.
"I have rights to these articles as the Hero of Time and Savior of Hyrule," drawled the young hero, drawing himself up proudly, shallow chest puffed out to its full extent, which was not far.
"Yeah, sure O Hero-to-all-Perverts-Great-and-Small..." grumbled Seth, his narrow frame shaking with excitement as he grabbed a handful of the Princess' delicates, stuffing them into his deep trench coat pockets.
"Put 'em back, Seth," said Link, not looking up from his washings.
"No," replied Seth, equally engrossed in his task.
"I'm serious, elf-boy," laughed the Hyrulian condescendingly, picking up a dirty bra as he set aside a newly-cleaned one.
'Oh, that's it! Bring it on you fairy!" snarled the Verditian, trench coat rustling as he turned around again, flying into an impulsive rage on the spot.
"What did you say!?" cried Link, task forgotten as he turned to face his new foe.
"You heard me," spoke Seth calmly, sliding his hands casually into his pockets.
"I. Am. Not. A. Fairy!" scowled the blonde, clenching his fists till they turned white.
"Yeah, sure," snorted the black-haired lad. He continued with a smug sneer, "Last I heard, you and that Sheik guy were getting down and dirty in the broom closet..."
"Sheik was Princess Zelda in disguise so her enemies wouldn't find her!" shouted Link, his voice shrilling swiftly in his fiery temper's wake.
"Oh, yeah, that really worked, then you had to rescue her again."
"That's it! Bring it on, you skinny freak!"
"You want some?! Huh!? Come get some, ya fruit!"
"Fine, I will, you gay elf!"
"Well, it might interest you to know that I have the one weapon to bring you down!"
"Oh yeah? What?"
Seth smirked triumphantly as he played his trump card: "A wet, dirty mop!"
"No," mouthed Link, voiceless in his wide-eyed horror.
"That's right, Missing Link. I'll ruin you and your non-threatening, Michael J. Fox-style boyish good looks forever!" Seth lunged at Link, sopping mop-head first, the Virditian war cry ripping from his throat: "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
The blonde fended him off ever-so-slightly, dodging the murky mop-top and gripping the pole, gritting his teeth, trying to push the Virditian from him. Seth grimaced, then smiled as he forced Link onto the cold stone floor, head just above the washtub full of dirty, soapy water. "Lets see how well Sheik taught you to hold your breath!" laughed the elf, forcing his foe's head into the water.
Link cried out, "No!" then swallowed the murky water as his head was forced under the surface. Moments later he was brought into the air and he choked, gasping and panting for breath.
"Aww...Did Sheik really get off that quickly? Or were you just talented?" grinned Seth maliciously, submerging his rival's head back into the tub.
"What are you doing?" came a voice from the doorway.
Seth still clutched Link's tunic, but he looked over to the door, bubbles from the water-logged blonde.
Princess Zelda stood framed in the door, hands on her hips, adding, "I need those undies. I'm currently going commando here!"
A deep crimson blush crept over the elf's pale cheeks.
"Wait...Seth? What are you doing here? Isn't the restraining order still in effect!?"
"Well, lets just say your guards are a few clover short of a meadow..."
"Whatever...Is that Link!?"
"Oh..." The Virdirtian remembered the warrior he was drowning, and pulled him up. "Oops..."
The Hero of Time spluttered, hair sopping and his face a faint bluish tint.
"What were you doing?" asked Zelda, forgetting the killer elf who was holding her love.
"Um...er...the thing about that is...Yoink!" he stammered, grabbing a further handful of Zelda's undies and bolting out the window. Into the moat 100 feet below...
END!