To Live
When he woke up he wasn't surprised to see a man in green leaning over him. Nor was he surprised by the silence in his head. He turned away from the distant, concerned expression that all Healers had mastered. He toned out the questions and sighed.
Why had they bothered to bring him back here? The one thing that mattered was now long gone, buried in the earth.
A hand grabbed his chin and he was forced to look into the eyes of a truly concerned Lady. She wore all white and a gold circlet held her auburn hair back. She was speaking, if the movement of her mouth was anything to go by, but he didn't hear anything.
But his mind told him something else. His ears may not be listening, but his other senses didn't understand the situation and wanted answers. It reached out and caught snatches of thoughts.
"...it's shock, the body is trying..." ".can he even hear us." "The question is.." "..does he want to."
He toned them down as well and closed his eyes. He wouldn't sleep, couldn't sleep. It was too quiet. But the hands on him seemed to have other ideas, as did the lady they were attached to. He was physically dragged out of bed and cold water was splashed in his face.
He reacted and jumped up and out of the grip of the one holding him. Her hands let go, but a pair of strong arms wrapped themselves around him instead. He couldn't turn to see who was holding him, he only knew that he couldn't get away from this grip. The only warning he had that water was again going to be thrown at him was when he saw the lady moving, then he was struck by the icy blast and brought back down into reality.
Talking erupted around him and he shook in the arms holding him, gasping.
"Can you hear me, Kayah? Just tell me you can hear me." He looked at the lady and nodded. Her eyes showed relief. "You have to say it Kayah, just say yes."
"Yes." It took him a few tries before it came out, but when it did he saw her relax completely and sink into a chair someone else had brought. He looked around and saw another young man in white, the man in green, a young lady in white and whoever was holding him.
He shook his head and tried to clear it, but it didn't seem to work. He heard them speaking and didn't realize they were addressing him until the one holding him shook him slightly.
He looked at the lady curiously.
"Kayah, do you remember what happened?" He didn't understand and cocked his head to the side. He saw her bite her lip and then try again. "Do you remember her?" He shook his head. This seemed to upset the other girl in white because she came closer and started yelling.
"How can you not remember your own Companion? The one who Chose you and protected you? You buried her!" He understood. They were talking about the voice that had been in his head. The beautiful blue voice that had.
No he couldn't think of that.
"Always and forever." He whispered. The room went silent and the one holding him tensed. The anger drained from the girl and tears took their place.
"You do remember. Can you tell us what happened?" He shook his head. How could he talk to them about it? He had fixed the problem, it was dealt with, don't make him bring it back up!
He felt himself lifted off the ground but didn't look up. He was placed in a chair on the other side of the room. Finally he could see whom the arms belonged to. It was a tall man, with short blond hair and gray eyes. He was well muscled and wore dark leather armor. He looked down at him and then moved slightly away, but still blocking him from leaving the chair.
"It will no longer be a problem. This child can not speak of it right now, but from what I can feel, no other will die from it." The man spoke to the rest of the room, but Kayah didn't care, he looked down at his hands and saw faintly, the dirt that still rested under his nails. Where had it come from? There was no dirt in the room.
"Can you at least tell us what 'it' was?" The man shook his head and in the chair behind him, the boy scratched at his nails. The voices faded again, to be replaced by his own ragged breathing. He remembered the dirt. He remembered watching the white disappear underneath it, the blue eyes closing forever. He placed the dirt there. He left her to die, but she was already dead. Right? It came in flashes, the poison on the arrow, the impact into her chest.
The fall to the ground and the scramble to his feet. Watching them walk back to the village and following.
Seeing them drinking with the finished poison ready in the middle of the square. Their minds telling him this was all there was. The torch. The fire. The death. Theirs. Hers.
He collapsed in the chair, but before he hit the arms were holding him again, but the silence remained and the blue eyes closed.
***
When she had first heard the news, Juscine had not wanted to believe it. One of her Heralds had lost his Companion and was still alive. The news had spread quickly and within a candlemark anyone who wore white or gray knew.
The Death Bell had rung shortly after and with it, they shared Kayah's anguish. All had thought it would be a matter of mending a shredded heart. None had expected what they would find. Yes they had expected a lot of work, but they had not expected this shattered soul, this split being, which didn't recognize them or himself.
Looking back she realized that they should have expected it. He had lost a Companion and had lived, though no one knew how. At first they had feared that he had left his body, that it would be kinder to let his body pass on as well. But then he spoke.
'Always and forever.'
It had stopped them cold and convinced them that he was in there, somewhere. For that was Kayah's promise. The words he spoke that no one took seriously when he was younger. Even when he was older. They were the words that had bound him to a daughter that had been a pawn in a woman's twisted revenge. They were the words that led him to travel three countries to say good-bye to a dying mother. They were the words that many Heralds held dear and they were the words that had sent his Companion to her death.
She sat and watched as Lukian held the unconscious body again. Something had triggered his memories and it hurt to watch him in pain. To stay here would drive him mad, but where else could he go. Lukian looked up at her as if reading her thoughts.
"He's coming with me." The two other Heralds were opening their mouths to protest, but she silenced them.
"He will be a burden and where you are headed is never an easy path." He smiled grimly at this.
"That I know, but the destination will be a better place for him to heal. It will be something he hasn't had to deal with before and may give him a chance at a new life."
"Even a life so much shorter than any he would find there?" This time the smile was for real.
"That, my Lady, shall be seen." He flicked his hair back and revealed the two pointed ears. Elves had only recently involved themselves with Valdemar, or anyone across the sea. They had been waiting for the land to heal from the Mage Wars, before they dealt with the humans on this side. She knew Lukian through her father and trusted him. Kayah would be safe with him.
"Good luck and I hope one day he will be able to come home." She walked over and lightly kissed Kayah on the forehead, before turning and leading everyone else out of the room. She didn't look back, but knew the others did. They would probably never see him again.
***
Lukian watched the humans leave and looked down at the young one in his arms. He was a lovely little thing, with dark blond hair and tanned skin. He didn't look the innocent little child, no. He was a fighter. It was told in the sharp green eyes and the scar along the right side of the face. The feel of the calluses on his hands and the muscle that showed slightly in his wiry frame.
It was a true crime to feel the pain that radiated from him, now that he was asleep and his guard was down. This was the part of his soul that understood what had happened. This was the part he wanted to heal.
The only question was would the child let him?
He didn't dwell on that thought; rather he got ready to leave. His boat was waiting and the sooner they left the better. He passed a soldier in the hallway and grimaced. And not just because of the iron, because he wanted to have sweets that wouldn't kill him.
Was that so much to ask?
***
He had dreamed about the blue eyes and the death that they marked. The death that he so desperately wanted to join. He opened his eyes and looked around. This wasn't a place he remembered. Not that he remembered much, but the other places he at least knew that he should remember. This place wasn't one of them.
He got out from all the blankets that had been on top of him and put his feet on the wooden floor. It took him a moment to realize that he wasn't the one swaying, but rather the floor. No wait, the whole room. To tired to feel sick, he made his way to the door, swaying with each movement of the room. He reached the door and walked up the stairs in front of him.
Sunlight hit him full on, and he was forced to turn his head away. It took him awhile to adjust to the light and he could finally see.
Blue. It stretched to all sides of him. He was on a ship in the middle of the sea! He moved to the railing in front of him but two voices made him turn.
"Tani! I swear I will get you for this!"
"Try it, Old Man." He turned and saw a pretty dark haired girl running up the ship in his direction. Green eyes flashed with mischief. Chasing her was a tall blond whose hair was almost silver. He also had green eyes, but unlike the girls these eyes resembled a cat.
They had slit pupils and were slanted and as he ran past he could also see the tip of a pointed ear through all that hair.
Now he was very confused. Suddenly he was picked up in a familiar grip. He turned his head and saw the blond from before; only his eyes matched those of the one who just ran by. Curious he shifted around in the grip till he was facing the man? And moved aside his hair. He had been right. The ears were pointed. The man shook his head when he tried to reach for the tips and he dropped his hand.
"They're sensitive child."
"I'm not a child." The other smiled.
"To me you are, so no arguing. Now how do you feel?" The eyes grew serious and he briefly wondered what had happened to the gray eyes the man had before.
"I don't know. I'm not sure what to feel."
"Don't. Just exist for the moment and answer one question for me, right now, at this moment. Do you want to live?" It wasn't a threat and he didn't take it as one. He nodded his head.
He didn't know what was going on, but the silence in his head needed to be filled, to be remembered.
"Always and forever." It was the only response Kayah could give and it seemed to work. He again gazed out at the blue sea and wished he could remember what had been attached to those blue eyes.
When he woke up he wasn't surprised to see a man in green leaning over him. Nor was he surprised by the silence in his head. He turned away from the distant, concerned expression that all Healers had mastered. He toned out the questions and sighed.
Why had they bothered to bring him back here? The one thing that mattered was now long gone, buried in the earth.
A hand grabbed his chin and he was forced to look into the eyes of a truly concerned Lady. She wore all white and a gold circlet held her auburn hair back. She was speaking, if the movement of her mouth was anything to go by, but he didn't hear anything.
But his mind told him something else. His ears may not be listening, but his other senses didn't understand the situation and wanted answers. It reached out and caught snatches of thoughts.
"...it's shock, the body is trying..." ".can he even hear us." "The question is.." "..does he want to."
He toned them down as well and closed his eyes. He wouldn't sleep, couldn't sleep. It was too quiet. But the hands on him seemed to have other ideas, as did the lady they were attached to. He was physically dragged out of bed and cold water was splashed in his face.
He reacted and jumped up and out of the grip of the one holding him. Her hands let go, but a pair of strong arms wrapped themselves around him instead. He couldn't turn to see who was holding him, he only knew that he couldn't get away from this grip. The only warning he had that water was again going to be thrown at him was when he saw the lady moving, then he was struck by the icy blast and brought back down into reality.
Talking erupted around him and he shook in the arms holding him, gasping.
"Can you hear me, Kayah? Just tell me you can hear me." He looked at the lady and nodded. Her eyes showed relief. "You have to say it Kayah, just say yes."
"Yes." It took him a few tries before it came out, but when it did he saw her relax completely and sink into a chair someone else had brought. He looked around and saw another young man in white, the man in green, a young lady in white and whoever was holding him.
He shook his head and tried to clear it, but it didn't seem to work. He heard them speaking and didn't realize they were addressing him until the one holding him shook him slightly.
He looked at the lady curiously.
"Kayah, do you remember what happened?" He didn't understand and cocked his head to the side. He saw her bite her lip and then try again. "Do you remember her?" He shook his head. This seemed to upset the other girl in white because she came closer and started yelling.
"How can you not remember your own Companion? The one who Chose you and protected you? You buried her!" He understood. They were talking about the voice that had been in his head. The beautiful blue voice that had.
No he couldn't think of that.
"Always and forever." He whispered. The room went silent and the one holding him tensed. The anger drained from the girl and tears took their place.
"You do remember. Can you tell us what happened?" He shook his head. How could he talk to them about it? He had fixed the problem, it was dealt with, don't make him bring it back up!
He felt himself lifted off the ground but didn't look up. He was placed in a chair on the other side of the room. Finally he could see whom the arms belonged to. It was a tall man, with short blond hair and gray eyes. He was well muscled and wore dark leather armor. He looked down at him and then moved slightly away, but still blocking him from leaving the chair.
"It will no longer be a problem. This child can not speak of it right now, but from what I can feel, no other will die from it." The man spoke to the rest of the room, but Kayah didn't care, he looked down at his hands and saw faintly, the dirt that still rested under his nails. Where had it come from? There was no dirt in the room.
"Can you at least tell us what 'it' was?" The man shook his head and in the chair behind him, the boy scratched at his nails. The voices faded again, to be replaced by his own ragged breathing. He remembered the dirt. He remembered watching the white disappear underneath it, the blue eyes closing forever. He placed the dirt there. He left her to die, but she was already dead. Right? It came in flashes, the poison on the arrow, the impact into her chest.
The fall to the ground and the scramble to his feet. Watching them walk back to the village and following.
Seeing them drinking with the finished poison ready in the middle of the square. Their minds telling him this was all there was. The torch. The fire. The death. Theirs. Hers.
He collapsed in the chair, but before he hit the arms were holding him again, but the silence remained and the blue eyes closed.
***
When she had first heard the news, Juscine had not wanted to believe it. One of her Heralds had lost his Companion and was still alive. The news had spread quickly and within a candlemark anyone who wore white or gray knew.
The Death Bell had rung shortly after and with it, they shared Kayah's anguish. All had thought it would be a matter of mending a shredded heart. None had expected what they would find. Yes they had expected a lot of work, but they had not expected this shattered soul, this split being, which didn't recognize them or himself.
Looking back she realized that they should have expected it. He had lost a Companion and had lived, though no one knew how. At first they had feared that he had left his body, that it would be kinder to let his body pass on as well. But then he spoke.
'Always and forever.'
It had stopped them cold and convinced them that he was in there, somewhere. For that was Kayah's promise. The words he spoke that no one took seriously when he was younger. Even when he was older. They were the words that had bound him to a daughter that had been a pawn in a woman's twisted revenge. They were the words that led him to travel three countries to say good-bye to a dying mother. They were the words that many Heralds held dear and they were the words that had sent his Companion to her death.
She sat and watched as Lukian held the unconscious body again. Something had triggered his memories and it hurt to watch him in pain. To stay here would drive him mad, but where else could he go. Lukian looked up at her as if reading her thoughts.
"He's coming with me." The two other Heralds were opening their mouths to protest, but she silenced them.
"He will be a burden and where you are headed is never an easy path." He smiled grimly at this.
"That I know, but the destination will be a better place for him to heal. It will be something he hasn't had to deal with before and may give him a chance at a new life."
"Even a life so much shorter than any he would find there?" This time the smile was for real.
"That, my Lady, shall be seen." He flicked his hair back and revealed the two pointed ears. Elves had only recently involved themselves with Valdemar, or anyone across the sea. They had been waiting for the land to heal from the Mage Wars, before they dealt with the humans on this side. She knew Lukian through her father and trusted him. Kayah would be safe with him.
"Good luck and I hope one day he will be able to come home." She walked over and lightly kissed Kayah on the forehead, before turning and leading everyone else out of the room. She didn't look back, but knew the others did. They would probably never see him again.
***
Lukian watched the humans leave and looked down at the young one in his arms. He was a lovely little thing, with dark blond hair and tanned skin. He didn't look the innocent little child, no. He was a fighter. It was told in the sharp green eyes and the scar along the right side of the face. The feel of the calluses on his hands and the muscle that showed slightly in his wiry frame.
It was a true crime to feel the pain that radiated from him, now that he was asleep and his guard was down. This was the part of his soul that understood what had happened. This was the part he wanted to heal.
The only question was would the child let him?
He didn't dwell on that thought; rather he got ready to leave. His boat was waiting and the sooner they left the better. He passed a soldier in the hallway and grimaced. And not just because of the iron, because he wanted to have sweets that wouldn't kill him.
Was that so much to ask?
***
He had dreamed about the blue eyes and the death that they marked. The death that he so desperately wanted to join. He opened his eyes and looked around. This wasn't a place he remembered. Not that he remembered much, but the other places he at least knew that he should remember. This place wasn't one of them.
He got out from all the blankets that had been on top of him and put his feet on the wooden floor. It took him a moment to realize that he wasn't the one swaying, but rather the floor. No wait, the whole room. To tired to feel sick, he made his way to the door, swaying with each movement of the room. He reached the door and walked up the stairs in front of him.
Sunlight hit him full on, and he was forced to turn his head away. It took him awhile to adjust to the light and he could finally see.
Blue. It stretched to all sides of him. He was on a ship in the middle of the sea! He moved to the railing in front of him but two voices made him turn.
"Tani! I swear I will get you for this!"
"Try it, Old Man." He turned and saw a pretty dark haired girl running up the ship in his direction. Green eyes flashed with mischief. Chasing her was a tall blond whose hair was almost silver. He also had green eyes, but unlike the girls these eyes resembled a cat.
They had slit pupils and were slanted and as he ran past he could also see the tip of a pointed ear through all that hair.
Now he was very confused. Suddenly he was picked up in a familiar grip. He turned his head and saw the blond from before; only his eyes matched those of the one who just ran by. Curious he shifted around in the grip till he was facing the man? And moved aside his hair. He had been right. The ears were pointed. The man shook his head when he tried to reach for the tips and he dropped his hand.
"They're sensitive child."
"I'm not a child." The other smiled.
"To me you are, so no arguing. Now how do you feel?" The eyes grew serious and he briefly wondered what had happened to the gray eyes the man had before.
"I don't know. I'm not sure what to feel."
"Don't. Just exist for the moment and answer one question for me, right now, at this moment. Do you want to live?" It wasn't a threat and he didn't take it as one. He nodded his head.
He didn't know what was going on, but the silence in his head needed to be filled, to be remembered.
"Always and forever." It was the only response Kayah could give and it seemed to work. He again gazed out at the blue sea and wished he could remember what had been attached to those blue eyes.