Disclaimer- I… I… I… own Fushigi Yuugi… not. *crumples*
AN- Hello again! I'm typing this now straight into the computer instead of drafting it first! Yay for me! Anyways. My excuse for today is that my leg hurts when I walk. Only true devotion to my craft brought me down to my basement to start typing. (Of course that's so.) And plus I was depressed looking at some fanart. I mean, it was so good. And I went back to MY sketchbook and flipped half-heartedly through the pages… But I think you want to read the story, not my ramblings. On we go to…
CHAPTER 7- In which a lovesick teacher takes advantage of her position, thus creating a delicate situation.
Tamahome stopped abruptly in front of the health classroom as he heard a strangely familiar voice. He dug through his memory for any hints… and came up with a vision of lunch and a particularly irritated fangirl. He searched harder, had he done anything bad? Other than toss over a vending machine, but that could easily be forgiven, ne?
"Oh look! It's our friend Tamahome!!!" Sansele's voice greeted with mock happiness. "Let's welcome him with open arms to our wonderful health class!!!!"
Chichiri sweatdropped as he realized that the whole class was congregating at the door and grinning evilly. "Oh da no da…"
"I suppose that we should wade our way in," Chiriko said unhappily. "The bell's about to ring."
Sansele's grin widened. "Yeah, Tama-baby! Come on in. You know we all love you and *violent coughing* would never ever hurt you!! Just be sure to step right thar-" She gestured towards a poorly disguised bomb. " And don't be shy about going through our friends here. We're all one big family!!!" As if to demonstrate this, she knocked out the girls next to her.
"Oh, oh, oh…" Tasuki muttered. "I don' like girls!! They're mean, stupid, they cling t' people, AND THEY HAVE COOTIES!!!!!!"
"Tasuki-kun?" Nuriko asked concernedly. "Just how old are you really? I got over THAT phase when I was twelve."
"Bit late, weren't ya?" Tamahome scoffed. "I figured out that they didn't exist when I was six."
"LIAR!!!" Hotohori exclaimed. "You told me that time I confronted you about Miaka that you saved her because you didn't want Pringle-head to get contaminated!"
"Contaminated?" Mitsukake asked. "Do you mean to say that these things are contagious?" He looked around wildly in the hopes of curing somebody, anybody of this apparently horrible affliction.
"Calm down, Mitsukake-san no da," Chichiri said soothingly. "Find your center of peace… Focus on that M&M I gave you na no da…"
"I ate it."
"NANI?!?" Chichiri spazzed out. "You… ate it… no… da? HOW COULD YOU? I TRUSTED YOU!!! I let you have my precious candy to teach you how to meditate, not to have you subject my treasure to your digestive system no da!! That was my pride and joy!! I took it to the river EVERY SINGLE DAY to give it a ritual bath!!"
"You WHAT?!?"
"Took it to the river every day to give it a ritual bath na no da," the monk answered, suddenly calm. "Why do you ask?"
****
"Class?" Yui stood in front of the board and sighed. This was most definitely NOT her dream job. How was she supposed to explain later that five of her girls had been mysteriously knocked out and one tall guy had fainted? And the people in her class… They practically all looked older than her, and she felt especially short standing next to Tamahome… She did a double take. Tamahome? All right, she liked this… "EVERYBODY SHUT UP!!!!!!!!"
Surprisingly enough, the room suddenly became quiet as a tomb.
"That's better," Yui said, relieved. "Now it's time for our lesson!!" She began to scribble on the board with a pretty blue marker, though the fumes were making her feel kinda sick. She read what she had written. "Sex education. That's what we're doing today."
She stopped as the sounds of uncontrollable giggles filled the classroom. A girl sitting in the corner, who went by the name Melon Kitten, was cracking up. Again. Every single frickin' day, Melon Kitten sat in the back of the room and laughed without fail at what she heard, be it "I'm thirsty" or "I think he got laid yesterday." Overall, it was highly irritating.
"Sansele, hit her."
"Of course, Yui-sensei!!" Sansele raced over and bonked Melon Kitten on the head without hesitating. "Is that good, Yui-sensei?"
Yui sweatdropped. "Well… I don't know… You didn't really need to hit that hard…"
"You call that hard?" Nuriko muttered. "I'll show you hard."
"SILENCE!! We are beginning class!! All right now. Item one- since this is sex education, and the school has limited… props, I'll need somebody to volunteer to come up here and be a dummy of sorts!! I don't think drawings do the job right." She smiled seductively.
Chichiri very slowly sank into his seat and vanished. No way HE was stripping in front of these girls. Uh-uh. (AN- Not that we would really mind him doing that, right? *dream*)
Tamahome tried to do the same, since he was getting suggestive looks from his not-so-subtle teacher. Unfortunately, Yui caught him. She very calmly picked him up from his desk and dragged him to the front. With no further ado, she picked up some shackles and chained him to the ceiling.
"See, class? Tamahome was generous enough to volunteer for the job! Let's give him a round of applause!!"
The class complied happily, and Melon Kitten laughed her head off.
"B-b-but.." Tamahome spluttered. "I didn't volunteer!! There's been a mistake!! Tasuki… my buddy…pal… friend… You won't let them do this to me, will you? I've always stood by you and supported you in times of need…"
"Oh, of course, Tama. Like that time when you were controlled by th' kodoku. You stood by me then… with yer nunchucks."
"Oh no…" Tamahome gulped as Yui advanced.
"YUI!! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!!!" Miaka stormed in and smacked her best friend. "Trying to take Tamahome-chan like that, shame on you."
"Miaka!!" Tamahome babbled. "I'm so sorry, I lost your honeybun and I tried so hard to get it but then Arcanine threw something at me I wasn't thinking and I threw the vending machine at Sansele with the honeybun in it oh I'm so sorry can you forgi-"
"Shut up."
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tasuki yelled. "Domestic troubles, ne?"
"Shut up, Tasuki. Shut up all of you. Now. Yui… my best friend in the whole wide world… WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU DID THAT?!? YOU… YOU… YOU _SLUT_!!!!"
"I have a bad feeling about all this no da."
"You're not the only one, Chichiri-san," Chiriko whispered. "Do best friends routinely call each other sluts? What is a slut?"
Chichiri blinked at the child genius. "You haven't really been educated in the ways of the world, have you no da? But you know, ignorance is bliss na no da. I think you'd better go out and get some water while this is going on."
"Um… OK…"
"MIAKA!!!!!! YOU ARE SUCH A… PIG!!!!!"
"Yui, is that the best that you can do, NINNY?"
"No, as a matter of fact," Yui said smugly. "But remember that _I_ didn't grow up in a brothel."
"WHY YOU…!!"
"Chiriko?" Chichiri called through the door. "I think you'd better use the bathroom while you're at it no da."
Was that not a fascinating chapter? Very special sort of thing. Am I turning into some demented type of hentai? Oh boy. BTW, I'd like to credit my friend Tate with the fun idea of sticking them in a health class with The Talk. Not that that was much of A Talk, but I'm squeamish about that kind of thing. Besides, this story has a mind of its own. I just write down what it wants to have happen. I am a slave to my demented mind… Oh yeah. I would like to comment that I went off and read Tsukiyo Uchibayashi's author page thing, and am now depressed because I wanna study Japanese for ten years too!! The living in Japan part sounds cool too even though I've heard great things about the cost of living there. But it'd be worth it to meet Yuu Watase and Seki Tomokazu. I am SO jealous.
AN- Hello again! I'm typing this now straight into the computer instead of drafting it first! Yay for me! Anyways. My excuse for today is that my leg hurts when I walk. Only true devotion to my craft brought me down to my basement to start typing. (Of course that's so.) And plus I was depressed looking at some fanart. I mean, it was so good. And I went back to MY sketchbook and flipped half-heartedly through the pages… But I think you want to read the story, not my ramblings. On we go to…
CHAPTER 7- In which a lovesick teacher takes advantage of her position, thus creating a delicate situation.
Tamahome stopped abruptly in front of the health classroom as he heard a strangely familiar voice. He dug through his memory for any hints… and came up with a vision of lunch and a particularly irritated fangirl. He searched harder, had he done anything bad? Other than toss over a vending machine, but that could easily be forgiven, ne?
"Oh look! It's our friend Tamahome!!!" Sansele's voice greeted with mock happiness. "Let's welcome him with open arms to our wonderful health class!!!!"
Chichiri sweatdropped as he realized that the whole class was congregating at the door and grinning evilly. "Oh da no da…"
"I suppose that we should wade our way in," Chiriko said unhappily. "The bell's about to ring."
Sansele's grin widened. "Yeah, Tama-baby! Come on in. You know we all love you and *violent coughing* would never ever hurt you!! Just be sure to step right thar-" She gestured towards a poorly disguised bomb. " And don't be shy about going through our friends here. We're all one big family!!!" As if to demonstrate this, she knocked out the girls next to her.
"Oh, oh, oh…" Tasuki muttered. "I don' like girls!! They're mean, stupid, they cling t' people, AND THEY HAVE COOTIES!!!!!!"
"Tasuki-kun?" Nuriko asked concernedly. "Just how old are you really? I got over THAT phase when I was twelve."
"Bit late, weren't ya?" Tamahome scoffed. "I figured out that they didn't exist when I was six."
"LIAR!!!" Hotohori exclaimed. "You told me that time I confronted you about Miaka that you saved her because you didn't want Pringle-head to get contaminated!"
"Contaminated?" Mitsukake asked. "Do you mean to say that these things are contagious?" He looked around wildly in the hopes of curing somebody, anybody of this apparently horrible affliction.
"Calm down, Mitsukake-san no da," Chichiri said soothingly. "Find your center of peace… Focus on that M&M I gave you na no da…"
"I ate it."
"NANI?!?" Chichiri spazzed out. "You… ate it… no… da? HOW COULD YOU? I TRUSTED YOU!!! I let you have my precious candy to teach you how to meditate, not to have you subject my treasure to your digestive system no da!! That was my pride and joy!! I took it to the river EVERY SINGLE DAY to give it a ritual bath!!"
"You WHAT?!?"
"Took it to the river every day to give it a ritual bath na no da," the monk answered, suddenly calm. "Why do you ask?"
****
"Class?" Yui stood in front of the board and sighed. This was most definitely NOT her dream job. How was she supposed to explain later that five of her girls had been mysteriously knocked out and one tall guy had fainted? And the people in her class… They practically all looked older than her, and she felt especially short standing next to Tamahome… She did a double take. Tamahome? All right, she liked this… "EVERYBODY SHUT UP!!!!!!!!"
Surprisingly enough, the room suddenly became quiet as a tomb.
"That's better," Yui said, relieved. "Now it's time for our lesson!!" She began to scribble on the board with a pretty blue marker, though the fumes were making her feel kinda sick. She read what she had written. "Sex education. That's what we're doing today."
She stopped as the sounds of uncontrollable giggles filled the classroom. A girl sitting in the corner, who went by the name Melon Kitten, was cracking up. Again. Every single frickin' day, Melon Kitten sat in the back of the room and laughed without fail at what she heard, be it "I'm thirsty" or "I think he got laid yesterday." Overall, it was highly irritating.
"Sansele, hit her."
"Of course, Yui-sensei!!" Sansele raced over and bonked Melon Kitten on the head without hesitating. "Is that good, Yui-sensei?"
Yui sweatdropped. "Well… I don't know… You didn't really need to hit that hard…"
"You call that hard?" Nuriko muttered. "I'll show you hard."
"SILENCE!! We are beginning class!! All right now. Item one- since this is sex education, and the school has limited… props, I'll need somebody to volunteer to come up here and be a dummy of sorts!! I don't think drawings do the job right." She smiled seductively.
Chichiri very slowly sank into his seat and vanished. No way HE was stripping in front of these girls. Uh-uh. (AN- Not that we would really mind him doing that, right? *dream*)
Tamahome tried to do the same, since he was getting suggestive looks from his not-so-subtle teacher. Unfortunately, Yui caught him. She very calmly picked him up from his desk and dragged him to the front. With no further ado, she picked up some shackles and chained him to the ceiling.
"See, class? Tamahome was generous enough to volunteer for the job! Let's give him a round of applause!!"
The class complied happily, and Melon Kitten laughed her head off.
"B-b-but.." Tamahome spluttered. "I didn't volunteer!! There's been a mistake!! Tasuki… my buddy…pal… friend… You won't let them do this to me, will you? I've always stood by you and supported you in times of need…"
"Oh, of course, Tama. Like that time when you were controlled by th' kodoku. You stood by me then… with yer nunchucks."
"Oh no…" Tamahome gulped as Yui advanced.
"YUI!! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!!!" Miaka stormed in and smacked her best friend. "Trying to take Tamahome-chan like that, shame on you."
"Miaka!!" Tamahome babbled. "I'm so sorry, I lost your honeybun and I tried so hard to get it but then Arcanine threw something at me I wasn't thinking and I threw the vending machine at Sansele with the honeybun in it oh I'm so sorry can you forgi-"
"Shut up."
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tasuki yelled. "Domestic troubles, ne?"
"Shut up, Tasuki. Shut up all of you. Now. Yui… my best friend in the whole wide world… WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU DID THAT?!? YOU… YOU… YOU _SLUT_!!!!"
"I have a bad feeling about all this no da."
"You're not the only one, Chichiri-san," Chiriko whispered. "Do best friends routinely call each other sluts? What is a slut?"
Chichiri blinked at the child genius. "You haven't really been educated in the ways of the world, have you no da? But you know, ignorance is bliss na no da. I think you'd better go out and get some water while this is going on."
"Um… OK…"
"MIAKA!!!!!! YOU ARE SUCH A… PIG!!!!!"
"Yui, is that the best that you can do, NINNY?"
"No, as a matter of fact," Yui said smugly. "But remember that _I_ didn't grow up in a brothel."
"WHY YOU…!!"
"Chiriko?" Chichiri called through the door. "I think you'd better use the bathroom while you're at it no da."
Was that not a fascinating chapter? Very special sort of thing. Am I turning into some demented type of hentai? Oh boy. BTW, I'd like to credit my friend Tate with the fun idea of sticking them in a health class with The Talk. Not that that was much of A Talk, but I'm squeamish about that kind of thing. Besides, this story has a mind of its own. I just write down what it wants to have happen. I am a slave to my demented mind… Oh yeah. I would like to comment that I went off and read Tsukiyo Uchibayashi's author page thing, and am now depressed because I wanna study Japanese for ten years too!! The living in Japan part sounds cool too even though I've heard great things about the cost of living there. But it'd be worth it to meet Yuu Watase and Seki Tomokazu. I am SO jealous.