Confessions of a Death-Eater
Chapter 5
Letter from Snape
A/N: After a demand from Chimbo Baggins that I MUST write another chapter, here it is…chapter 5. It's not that I wasn't getting enough reviews. It was that I had run out of ideas…but now I just had a brilliant one and here I am, typing up the fifth chapter. TA-DA! And to X…did you mean that in a good way or a bad way? If it was a bad way…yaaay I've had my first flame! Oh, and guess what? I've downloaded new Harry Potter fonts, which consists of Lumos and Harry P!!! Weee! I'm hungry…
"Why does this guy have contracts? Did you see the Twilight Zone when the guy signed the contract, and they cut off his tongue, and it never died, it just grew and pulsated and gave birth to baby tongues? Pretty cool, huh? *holds up pen*I've got to go."
-Wayne's World
After a hard day's work at the department store, Dan headed to his Muggle friend Sasha's house and collapsed onto the couch.
Boy, what a day Dan thought to himself as he switched on the TV. Sasha came strolling into the room and turned off the TV.
"That is it, Dan" she said. "I'm sick and tired of you moping around here! Why don't you go and get a job, like most people?"said Sasha
"I did get a job, Sasha," sighed Dan.
"Oh," said Sasha, and turned on the TV. Suddenly, a giant eagle owl came into the living room. It dropped a letter in front of Dan, and he caught it and read it by instinct. Sasha was screaming and dialing up the exterminator.
"Sasha! It's all right!!!!" screamed Dan and wrestled her to put down the phone. When she finally hung up, Dan sat back on the couch and read his letter from Snape.
Dear Dan,
It's been so long since I've seen you. How're things going? I understand you've made yourself a Muggle. Dan, the Potters' death wasn't your fault. Don't go blaming yourself for it. There's nothing you could've done. Voldemort would've just killed you too.
Anybob,
"Anybob?" asked Dan out loud. "Snape doesn't say ANYBOB!" Dan continued to read the letter anyway.
Anybob, the reason I am contacting you now is because I believe all of us ex-Death Eaters are in mortal peril once again. I have reason to believe that a teacher at Hogwarts has been secretly contacting Voldemort all year and trying to get the Sorcerer's Stone so Voldemort could return to power again. We must form an alliance with our old buddies, Dave, Bill, Bob, and Bill Bob Esquire, to get rid of Voldemort once and for all!
Plus I would like to form a band with all of you.
Please contact me, Dan and let me know if you would like to join my alliance/band. The fate of the world (and music) is in our hands!
Yours truly,
Severus Snape
P.S. If you say yes, please read the contract I have enclosed. Good day.
Dan felt like bursting out laughing. The alliance part he could see Snape doing, but a band? That was just pure insane!
He loved it.
Dan opened up the contract, skimmed through it, and signed it. Instantly Snape ppeared right in front of him.
"Hurray, Dan!" shouted Snape dully, throwing confetti unenthusiastically into the air. "You have just joined the alliance/band named Swords on a Doorknob."
"Swords on a Doorknob?" grinned Dan. "What kind of weird name is that?"
"Don't blame me," glared Snape. "Bill Bob Esquire came up with it."
"So, when do we start…er…practicing?" asked Dan. Sasha was staring at Snape interestedly. Snape gave her an uneasy look, and then turned back to Dan.
"We start practicing…NOW!" Snape snapped his fingers, and suddenly Dan was at Hogwarts.
" I thought you couldn't Apparate or Disapparate within Hogwarts grounds." Dan marveled as they both trekked up to the castle.
"That's just the thing," smirked Snape. "We're not technically IN Hogwarts grounds. We're just outside of it."
When they finally got down to Snape's quarters on the third floor, Dan saw the rest of the gang: Dave with his great big shaggy beard and hippie glasses, Bill with his blonde gelled back hair, Bob with his brown messy hair that his fingers constantly ran through, and Bill Bob Esquire, with his green dyed hair and an insane look upon his face.
"Hey, Dan," said Bill coolly, nodding his head sharply.
"Peace," said Dave, making the traditional peace sign with his fingers.
"Dude," said Bob, patting his hair to make it stay flat. It wasn't working.
"Yo!" shouted Bill Bob Esquire, jumping up and down "I AM HYPER!"
"Welcome to Swords on a Doorknob, Dan," said Snape, staring at Bill Bob Esquire, who was still jumping up and down like a lunatic (which he was, in case you haven't figured that out yet).
Dan smiled. This was going to be one fun year…
A/N: I think you might've guessed I decided to add a little comic relief into this. Beware Bill Bob Esquire. He will drive you (and Dan) crazy. Well, review. (walks off)