Chapter Eleven: So Beautiful
Tenel Ka stormed into Kanortine's throne room, an unforgiving expression on her face and a white, ethereal gown swirling around her in the winds currents of her temper.
Kanortine payed no attention to the dramatic entrance and only continued feeding the large, brilliant red, green, yellow, and orange coloured bird in a cage. He smiled as it squawked "Pretty girl, pretty girl!" and stroked the feathers on it's head before closing the cage door promptly.
Tenel Ka glanced at the creature and commented, "An interesting pet. What is its name?"
"Polly," Kanortine smiled devilishly, "It came with the eyepatch, schooner and peg leg."
Tenel Ka's face scrunched up in confusion and slight disdain. Had she been known to make sarcastic comments, there would have been long "right…" at Kanortine's antics. Instead, she only nodded, then launched into her speech.
"Jacen has won these last four races. He has persistently achieved the highest standard for every single race and he deserves to be set free now, not later. The attendance of the races and the gambling has already been three times the amount it was at the beginning, couldn't you let him go while he's still ahead?"
Kanortine shook his head solemnly, and amused look lighting his eyes. Mournfully he replied, "I regret it cannot be so Princess. A deal was made and that's what I will stick to. If he has had the fortitude to win these past races, then he will certainly survive two more, and then you will leave this system with him."
Tenel Ka held back a sigh of frustration, and only clenched her fist, the inevitability of the situation settling upon her like a cloud of piranha beetles.
"But I do not value my freedom if he dies trying to win it for me. He shouldn't have to risk his life for my sake," she murmured sadly as she turned back towards the door to return to her quarters.
"Well," Kanortine said offhandedly, "That's love for you."
Instead of being shipped back to the high-security prison cell where he had spent the afternoon, Jacen was promptly escorted to Kanortine's throne room upon arrival in the Ruswin metropolis. Dashing and debonair as always, Kanortine was facing the window, looking out upon the lighted city shining in the black night.
When Jacen entered, he turned around and gave a toothy grin, causing Jacen to wince inwardly at the gold canine.
"Congratulations," Kanortine said, "You've done well Jacen Solo. So well that I will give a small reward before you race again tomorrow."
"What would that be?" Jacen asked curiously.
"Why, you get to see your Princess again, of course!" Kanortine exclaimed in a mockingly enthusiastic voice.
Jacen was puzzled at this kindness and raised an eyebrow suspiciously, but he bowed and said calmly, "Thank-you your Majesty."
Hey, he reminded himself as he was turned from the throne room and marched down the corridor, At least this time I didn't have to threaten anyone.
He wondered momentarily about Kanortine's motives, but in the big scheme of things, he was so relieved that he didn't really care, as long as he was able to see Tenel Ka again.
The guard droids at the door moved smoothly aside and Jacen slipped in through one of the double doors. The room was dark and unlit as he moved inside, and a cool breeze murmured softly through the open window, blowing the silk curtains of the canopy bed, and ruffling the long red-gold hair of the girl that stood before it.
She seemed deep in thought, her hand on her hip and her face turned upwards, looking at the stars and the distant mountains. The dress she wore had layers and layers of overlapping white silk that seemed to float like seaweed in water all around her in the blowing wind. The utter softness and fragility of the dress outlined her tanned bronze skin and muscles, while at the same time making her seem more delicate, more vulnerable. Jacen knew Tenel Ka was the farthest from both of those traits, but he could tell by stretching out with the Force that her emotions and thoughts were in turmoil. He didn't move from where he stood, but only watched her with wide eyes, not wanting to break the magic that surrounded her or interrupt her meditation.
Tenel Ka seemed to feel, however, that he was there in the room, and she turned her face towards him, her grey eyes shining in the fragments of light cast by the night sky.
Neither Jedi spoke a word, but Jacen crossed the room quietly, in a trance, and stood behind her, pouring all his effort into probing her thoughts, trying to discover the source of her discomfiture.
Yet if there was one thing he didn't understand in the universe, and there were many things he didn't, the one that puzzled him most of all was Tenel Ka. The only thing he was sure about was what he felt for her. Beneath the surface was a swirling, twisting storm, uncharted territory that she allowed him of all people to tread the deepest into.
Yet he could not understand what was disturbing her.
"Tenel Ka?" he whispered and reached out to put a hand on her shoulder, almost hesitant to touch her, "What's wrong?"
He felt a wave of peace move over her, quieting the commotion inside briefly. She brought her hand up to touch his where it rested against her collarbone. Her fingers caressed his slightly, and he could see her eyes close.
"I am concerned for you," she said in a barely audible voice, and though her face gave nothing away as always, there was worry in her tone.
"That's it? That's all?" he questioned, surprised, "I think there's something else."
Tenel Ka jerked her head to face his, and gave a defeated sigh, "I am also concerned about the future, in hypothesis."
"What do you mean by that?"
Her lips pressed together, as if she were trying to decide how to word her problems.
"Kanortine said something to me today. I don't value Kanortine's opinion very highly, but it did make me think," Tenel Ka answered carefully.
"Think about what?" Jacen inquired.
"Whether I will able to remain a Jedi if I am required to take the throne of Hapes," Tenel Ka said.
There was something else there, Jacen knew, an underlying meaning that she didn't want to speak aloud, but one that was on her mind no less. Jacen had an idea of what it could be.
"You're worried about our relationship if you have to rule?" he questioned.
Tenel Ka nodded painfully.
"I don't think we should worry about it," Jacen said after a moment of reflection in which dozens of possible scenarios flashed across his mind.
Tenel Ka whirled around to face him, a surprised and even angry look on her face.
"Jacen, it's important! We are choosing the course our lives will take, or we were until we ended up on this planet, and after this it may be a long while before we see each other again. When we choose our separate missions, our separate paths, our lives could change in a moment, with a word, a glance, a decree, a fight, or a death. We could have no choice in the matter," Tenel Ka reprimanded.
A shiver ran through Jacen, but he ignored it. He reached forward and cupped Tenel Ka's face in his hands, looking her straight in the eyes.
"Yes, the galaxy is changing. Yes, things beyond our control may happen. And yes, we may even be separated for indefinite lengths of time, but I know one thing Tenel Ka. And that is that I love you. That's my future," he spoke confidently, surely, his eyes promising her things that he didn't want to risk saying for fear that they would never be fulfilled.
Tears glistened in Tenel Ka's eyes and Jacen gently brushed them away with his thumbs, giving her an encouraging smile.
She smiled back at him, happy despite all that was occurring, her disturbing vision, her anxieties, and their current predicament. Because love gives people strength when everywhere there is weakness. Love shines light on people when all around there is darkness. Love is food when they are starving and water when they are thirsty. Love, above all, gives hope when there is only despair and destruction. And Jacen loved her.
So after a pause she suddenly stepped forward and embraced him tightly, with her smooth warm skin and the soft, pleasing fabric of her dress beneath his fingers, then she turned her head slightly so that her breath whispered against his ear.
Then in a calm, determined voice, she said to him, "I love you Jacen Solo. You more than anyone else in the entire galaxy."
Jacen could swear that he was longer in the palace, with his feet touching the cold marble floor. He felt then that he must be only a hand's width away from the stars, that if stretched his arm, he could touch one, and that it would feel the same way that Tenel Ka's hair felt against his cheek, teasing, ticklish and feather-light. His arms were pressed tightly around her waist and he felt then that he could stay this way for the rest of his life. Then, as he turned his head and his lips met hers, he knew that the rest of his life wouldn't be long enough. As she slowly kissed him and ran her fingers through his hair, he decided only forever would suffice.
Jacen awoke with the sun shining in his face, the light trying to coax his eyes sluggishly open and inviting him to stretch his limbs out, to make ready for the day. He extended his arms above his head, feeling the stiffness disappear from his shoulder muscles right up to his fingertips. Arching his back, he felt the slight tension fade from there as well. He wiggled his toes and smiled, but kept his eyes closed. Why did he feel so darn happy? He'd been dreaming about something, or had it been real? He wasn't sure, but there was this glowing, tingly feeling inside of him and he had no idea why it was there.
He felt a cloud pass over the sun as the brightness behind his eyelids faded slightly, causing him to wake up suddenly. He looked around him and remembered where he was as the events of the previous night floated back to his sleep-fogged brain. He blinked and looked beside him, where Tenel Ka was still sleeping. A smile lit his features, and his heart twisted inside of him as he gazed down on her. She was so beautiful. The fine bones of her face spoke highly of royal lineage and her eyelashes were pressed gently against her porcelain cheek. Her chest rose and fell slightly as she inhaled and exhaled peacefully. Wisps of red-gold hair lay spread out around her like a fan and other strands rested against her face. Jacen leaned over and gently brushed a few pieces out of her eyes and ran his hand along her cheek and neck.
So beautiful.
Her eyes snapped open at his touch and she tensed, and then relaxed as she realized whom it was. She smiled her reserved smile and then sat up, her tousled hair and sleepy expression making her seem more like a teenage girl than a Dathomiri warrior woman or heir to the Hapan throne. The loose beige tunic she wore went nearly to her knees.
"The race isn't till noon today. Do you want a Jedi healing technique?" she asked seriously.
A mischievous grin illuminated Jacen's face and he shook his head slowly from side to side.
"Then what do-" Tenel Ka started to say but was cut off by Jacen leaning forward and kissing her. She seemed about to protest, but relaxed as his lips delicately caressed her own. She allowed his arms to wrap around her waist and his hands to run lightly up to her neck. The notion of seeing how far she would let him go passed through his head, but he decided he wanted to live a little longer than that. When they finally broke apart, Tenel Ka carefully freed herself from his arms, got up, and walked over to the refresher, smiling as she went.
Jacen sighed wistfully and flopped on to his back. There was that other puzzlement about Tenel Ka. She certainly liked being kissed, but she never let herself be pushed too far. He admitted to himself that it good that at least one of them was showing a little restraint. He heard the sound of the shower start up and stirred a bit. He rolled off the bed and started to pace, not quite sure of himself. He was so lost in thought that as he stopped pacing and stood staring out the window, he didn't hear Tenel Ka approach behind him. Nor did he notice her until she was right beside him, her arm touching his slightly, making his skin warm. Automatically, he reached out and placed his arm across her waist, pulling her closer and she obliged.
"What were you thinking about?" asked Tenel Ka in a quiet, serene voice.
"You," Jacen said casually, giving her a lopsided grin.
Tenel Ka gave a small smile and replied, "I would have thought you'd be thinking about the upcoming race."
"You're pretty crazy if you thought I was thinking about races when I was just kissing you," Jacen teased her, "Why think about the bad stuff when you can think about the good? Why restrict yourself to thinking about what you should be thinking when there are other paths, better paths, more important things?"
Tenel Ka seemed to sense his need to talk about something. She said nothing and waited for him to go on, knowing there was something bothering him that he needed to talk about.
Jacen sighed and continued, "It's just… well, I've been wondering lately what being a Jedi means to me. Maybe it was because of that whole talk I had with Uncle Luke right before graduation, you know?" he gave a slight grin.
She nodded to encourage him on.
"It always seems as though I learn what it means to be a Jedi away from the Jedi Academy. It's like the Academy is just a place to come back to and mediate about the latest crisis that over takes us. If a Jedi wants to learn about the Force and himself, or herself, "he added quickly, glancing at Tenel Ka, "then it seems to me like it should be a solitary thing. It's hard to think when so much is always happening. Like when is the next time I'll get a week's break in to meditate or practice? It's just a matter of time until the next big invasion of Force-knows-what comes and attacks the New Republic. Is that what being a Jedi is about? Always on the run, always rushing somewhere new to defend people from the latest bad guys? I just don't know about it anymore Tenel Ka."
He felt her pause before answering, taking it all in and thinking it over, weighing arguments.
"The first step is this: Are you going to accept Master Skywalker's offer of apprenticeship?" she asked unexpectedly.
Jacen considered for a moment, "He's been talking with Tionne about the idea of establishing a Jedi Council. That idea kind of works opposite to my thinking that a Jedi should take a reclusive path. On the other hand, there is so much I can learn from Uncle Luke, I'd be a fool to turn it down."
"This is a fact," Tenel Ka stated.
Jacen grinned at her old line and then sighed again, "Well, I'll think about it more when this is all over. I'll work it out a bit and mull it over, and do some reading as well, Tionne has some old material on the subject of "the path of a Jedi," he finished with mock solemnity.
Smiling slightly, Tenel Ka responded, "I wish you success in that endeavour Jacen."
After a moment of comfortable silence, Jacen spoke up, "Hey look, you've distracted me from what I was thinking about before!"
Tenel Ka turned her face towards his with a confused look, "What was it you were thinking of?"
Jacen drew his face closer to hers, "I was thinking I should kiss you again pretty soon."
Appropriately, Tenel Ka did not say a word to this, but only brought her arm up around Jacen's neck and kissed very hard and very sweetly. It surprised him slightly, but he wrapped both arms around her and pulled her as close as it was humanly possible. She was like a storm, like a hurricane in the ocean, with her feelings pouring out to wash over him like waves, sometimes dragging him under completely, but he did not object. He wanted to drown in her, and for a moment he almost did. Finally he knew that he couldn't handle anymore without doing something drastic, so he broke away slowly, breathing hard.
"I should really go shower now," he said regretfully, his forehead resting against hers.
Her eyes looked straight into his, dizzy and gray like the storm he imagined.
"Fact," she contended.