Author/pseudonym: Nights
Fandom:Mutant X
Paring: None really, but Shalimar and Jesse are the main characters being dealt with.
E-mail address for feedback: nights@poetic.com
Disclaimers: Mutant X is the property of Tribune Entertainment, and maybe even Marvel Entertainment. The characters and universe of Mutant X are being used by this author for entertainment purposes only, without any possibility of making money. I do own Laura, though. ^_^
Notes: Thanks so much to all those who reviewed my fic. :) This is my first time to write a Mutant X fanfic, let alone a fanfic with multiple chapters, so its great to receive good commentary. This fic is going to be very angsty, and this chapter will deal with some of the questions regarding Jesse's past. I know, the TV series will eventually reveal Jesse's past to us and debunk everything I've written here but hey, this IS just a fanfic. :)
Summary: An exploration of the bond between Shalimar and Jesse. Held a few years when it was just Shalimar and Adam, no one else. This is my first Mutant X fanfic, so please be nice to me.
Part IV: Pushing the Limits
"Shalimar?"
She sighed. "Adam?"
"I don't mean to annoy you, but you know what I'm going to ask."
Shalimar pulled slightly away from Jesse, who kept his eyes firmly on the ground next to her. She kept her left arm on his shoulder and gave him the most comforting smile she could muster, and then proceeded to talk to Adam on her ring.
"Give me a little more time, Adam. I'm not sure if he's ready to come with us yet."
"I'm afraid I can't give you that, Shalimar." She looked up in surprise to see the familiar form of the Double Helix appearing in the dark night sky. "Adam?"
Adam didn't answer. She sighed and looked at Jesse, who had now stood up and leaned on the tree. She wondered how she would break the news to him, and after careful deliberation, decided to take it one step at a time. "Jesse?"
He looked up at her, trying to hide his surprise, yet being betrayed by the momentary flash of shock in his eyes. "How did you know my name?"
She sighed again. She got this all the time, and it was starting to get annoying. She tried to keep her patience in check, though. "No time to answer that. We have to go."
He backed away, careful to look behind him as he did so. "Where?"
"Someplace safe. The GSA-I mean those guys," she corrected herself hastily. "They will keep on coming and coming and coming back for you, and I have to bring you someplace safe."
He looked at her suspiciously. "And that someplace safe is where?"
Shalimar lost her patience. "I can't tell you right now," she replied, grabbing his arm in an attempt to steer him to the direction where she thought Adam landed Double Helix.
It was harder than she thought, because the minute she started dragging him, she felt herself holding nothing but air. She turned around, and saw him smirking at her. "You're not going to drag me out of here without telling me who you are, and where you're from. And while you're at it, tell me what the hell you are, because I know for a fact that those moves you did earlier can't be done by any normal human being." He crossed his arms and waited for an answer.
Shalimar gritted her teeth. Smart ass. "Oh, I forgot, mommy taught you not to go anywhere with strangers," she mocked. "Tell me, little man, after I saved your head from getting shot wide open, would I take you to any dangerous place?"
Jesse thought for a moment. "I guess not." Then his eyes narrowed. "But who are you? Its not fair, you know my name, you're not even telling me how you found out, but you're not telling me anything about yourself."
"Look, I don't have time for a third degree, but if you really need to know, its Shalimar."
"Shalimar, huh?" Shalimar looked up and realized that while she was talking, Jesse had been checking her out. She smirked as he tried not to let on that he was admiring her from head to toe, but Shalimar wasn't stupid, and she wasn't going to let him get away with it. "Do you want me to turn around so you can get a full view?"
Jesse blushed, and Shalimar laughed at his reaction, her eyes twinkling. "Ok, you know my name, so let's go?"
He hesitated for a moment, and then reached for her hand, which, with hesitation, she obliged. As they walked, Jesse squeezed her hand tightly, as if he was checking if her hand was still there. Shalimar blinked, surprised at the gesture and the too-intimate contact, but responded by squeezing his hand back.
******************
"Report?"
"Nothing much, Adam. Three GSA agents tried to get him, even tried to steal his things." Shalimar pressed her fingers to her forehead. She felt a headache slowly making its presence felt. "I got rid of them, and brought Jesse here."
Adam pressed the auto-pilot button of the Double Helix and looked behind him at Jesse, who sat a few meters away, his forehead pressed into the window, eyes clouded, deep in thought. "And how is he?"
Shalimar hesitated, then decided that she shouldn't hide anything from him. "Not good," she confessed. "Adam…" she broke off, not knowing what else to say.
Adam regarded her with a concerned look on his face. He studied her for awhile, then stood up and walked to Jesse's direction.
Shalimar knew what he had in mind, and instinctively grabbed his arm. "Be gentle."
Adam nodded. He pulled a seat and sat down in front of Jesse. "Jesse?"
Jesse pried his face away from the window with much difficulty. He looked at Adam with weary eyes, not even bothering to answer.
Adam pulled out a thin sheet of plastic from a container he kept in his pocket. "Don't panic," he told him soothingly. "This will only be for a few minutes."
Much to his surprise, Jesse didn't panic, nor fight him from attaching the sheet onto his right temple. Adam gave Shalimar a Look, which she returned.
"A visual cloak," Jesse whispered softly, in a voice barely audible, but enough for Shalimar's enhanced hearing to catch. She gave Adam a startled look.
Adam thought for a moment. "You're aware of this kind of technology?"
"I heard my father talk about these kinds of things before," Jesse answered coolly.
"What exactly does your father do?" Shalimar asked.
Jesse didn't answer, and leaned back into his seat. He felt for the window, and pressed his face to it again. Shalimar and Adam guessed the conversation was over.
Adam sighed and returned to the cockpit. Shalimar stayed behind, staring at the young man who was staring outside the window as if he could still see through it. She couldn't understand why, but the previous events and the cold demeanor he just exhibited stabbed at her heart, and she felt the unexplainable sadness she felt when she saw the ring without a genetic code return with a vengeance. She tried to make sense with her feelings and the more she did, the more it made her confused.
And scared.
*********************
Jesse lay on the examination chair, shifting every now and then, trying to find a comfortable position. He had insisted on keeping his clothing the whole time, and no amount of coaxing from Adam made him change his mind.
"Scan complete." Adam walked back towards Jesse, who had sat up quickly.
"You never really told me what this scan is for." Jesse looked at him suspiciously.
Adam held up his hands. "Well, since you recognized the technology we used, from the visual cloak, I figured you would know what this scan does to New Mutants."
Jesse's head raised sharply as he heard the word, that word that seemed so vile to him, that one word other than "freak" that he hated. "I'm not a New Mutant."
Adam blinked, and then proceeded to explain the scan. "This machine is sort of a diagnostic check. It checks up on your powers-"
Jesse threw his head back and let out a sardonic laugh. "Powers, huh?" His jaw clenched as everything, all the frustration, pain and confusion he failed to control and understand from the previous events that happened that evening, all solidified into an emotion he could control, quite well.
Anger.
He lashed out, banging his fist onto the nearest exam table. "How can you call these "powers"?" he shouted. "I bet none of us freaks wanted this power you're forcing in on us!"
Adam didn't answer. Jesse felt himself seeing red, again, and in his desperation to push it away, push the images of the previous events from his mind, the more he lost control of that very aspect of himself that he wanted to hide so badly. His heart caught in his throat as he felt it, the sudden rush of air into his chest, as if he was floating into a space, a space he didn't want to be in.
Adam tried to hide his surprise as he watched Jesse fading, slowly, in front of him. He stepped forward and watched him closely. Jesse's eyes grew wide in fear as he tried to control his powers, but in vain. And that was when he raised his eyes to him, his fear and confusion stabbing Adam like a dozen knives.
Adam acted quickly. "Focus," he told him, keeping his voice calm. "You can do it, Jesse. Come back to us."
It didn't work. Adam could barely see the features of Jesse's face now, but he knew the young man was more than horrified than what he let on. But then Jesse suddenly reappeared, his features more clear, as he was finally able to control his powers.
Adam clapped. "Good work, Jesse," he congratulated him. "Now, if I can teach you to control your powers-"
Jesse cut him off. "I don't want to control my powers."
Adam had heard this a dozen times, in each case he never really listened to what the other New Mutants had to say. But there was something in Jesse that made him give him a chance.
"I've done everything you've asked me to without question," Jesse started, his voice now calm and sure of himself, but Adam could detect the lingering feeling of self-doubt. But he listened anyway. "So I'm going to ask for your help."
Adam nodded. "I'm listening."
Jesse started to pace back and forth in the room. "My dad-he said something about fixing me," he continued. "That there's a way to end this, all these unnecessary "powers"."
"Where is your father?" Adam prodded gently, hoping to steer the conversation as far away from the direction Jesse had intended it to.
It didn't work. "Shalimar told me that you've a very smart person, and that you're doing this, saving all new mutants, out of guilt from everything you've done. That you want to make amends for your mistakes." Jesse stopped pacing and looked at him squarely in the eye. "I want you to cure me."
Adam blinked, and replied almost immediately. "No."
Jesse's eyes widened in disbelief, yet he kept his voice calm. "And why not?"
"Because its too dangerous, and its nearly impossible."
Jesse's face contorted in anger. "Dangerous??!" he practically yelled. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe our own powers are dangerous on their own?"
Adam cringed inwardly as Jesse almost spat the word "powers" out. "Yes, I'm aware of that, " he replied calmly. "But-"
Jesse was trying to control himself from lashing out, pacing back and forth, and then stopping, and then pacing again. "We are a danger to ourselves, to everyone around us!" He stopped pacing and came to a stop in front of him. "What happens if we can't control our "powers"? What happens if some of us don't want to control our powers" and want to use these "powers" to harm other people? Isn't that a reason on its own to stop this?"
Adam didn't speak, and merely looked him in the eye, the expression in his face enough as an answer. Jesse's shoulders heaved, and when he spoke, his voice cracked. "Please," he whispered. "I need you to cure me. I'm begging you."
Adam shook his head sadly, feeling Jesse's pain. "I'm sorry, Jesse," he tried to soothe him. "I don't know why you hate your powers so much, but I can assure you that I did try to make a cure. Unfortunately it didn't work. Making a cure takes longer than you think, and while it is feasible, we have more important things to worry about."
Jesse didn't seem to hear him. He kept his eyes glued to the floor for several minutes, and when he finally spoke, his voice was small and barely audible. "If you don't mind, I want to leave tomorrow morning."
Adam nodded. He wanted to argue, but the young man's exhaustion was too obvious. "I'll tell Shalimar to get you a room." He watched as Jesse barely nodded, his shoulders dropping so low in disappointment. Adam hated seeing these people that he had always considered as his children so sad, and he almost felt angry with himself that for once, he didn't really know what to do to make everything better.
****************
Adam was on his way to his quarters when he saw Shalimar standing in the middle of the hallway, staring on the door outside Jesse's guest room. Adam came to a stop next to her and was about to ask her what was wrong, but he stopped himself when he saw how weary she looked as she stared, through the open door, the young man sitting on his bed, staring into space. Adam didn't fully understand why the young man affected Shalimar so much, but he had been with her long enough to know what she is feeling without her needing to tell him, and what he could feel, are emotions so alien from Shalimar.
Sadness. So much sadness.
"Don't mind him," Adam told her gently. "He's just confused and afraid. That's how they usually get, but I'm sure-"
"How can you be so cold and unfeeling?" Shalimar snapped. She turned and looked at him, her eyes flashing in anger.
Adam was stung by her remark, but he kept his voice calm. "I can understand your frustration, Shalimar, but-"
She cut him off again. "Stop acting like you know everything about me, Adam, because I can tell you now that you don't know what I'm feeling." She looked at him squarely in th eye, her jaw jutting up in defiance.
It has been bothering Adam for such a long time, and he had been meaning to discuss it with her, but he couldn't find the right time to do so. Now, he decided to just plunge right in. "This is all about the ring, isn't it?"
Shalimar was taken aback. It worked. "What?"
"I saw you looking at the ring, the one without the genetic code." He tried to put his hand on her shoulder, but Shalimar flinched and backed away. "I know that you're afraid of being off to missions on your own-"
"I'm not afraid!" Shalimar shouted. She saw that Jesse's door was still open, and Jesse had now cocked his head to the direction of her voice. Shalimar slammed the door shut and walked farther down the hall. Adam followed her. "I'm not afraid, " she said, in a voice that Adam recognized, her self-confidence back.
"Then what's wrong, Shalimar?" Adam prodded gently.
Shalimar couldn't speak. She wanted to tell Adam so badly, everything she was feeling, everything that had been keeping her mind busy for the last few days. But she was too afraid.
"Is it Jesse?"
That did it. Shalimar felt the unfamiliar saltiness of tears materialize into her eyes. When was the last time she cried? She couldn't remember, and if she did, she didn't want to. It made her feel weak and vulnerable, and that was one feeling that she didn't want to feel ever again.
"Shalimar, Jesse can learn to control his powers, I can assure you that." Adam tried to soothe her the only way he can, by making promises that he would have to work harder to fulfill later.
"Why?" Shalimar finally managed to say.
"Why what?"
"Why do you always say "when?" How can you be so sure that we can control it?"
Adam was surprised at the negative energy he rarely felt from her. He didn't say anything, but the look on his face willed her to continue.
When she did, her voice cracked. "I was there, Adam," A tear slid down her cheek and she wiped it off hastily, angry at herself for crying in front of him. Adam nodded, giving her a slight smile of assurance. "I saw everything...how everything...how our powers can make someone so happy and then make someone so sad just like that," she snapped her fingers. "Just like that. Oh God, Adam, you should have seen his face..." And then she told Adam everything; Jesse's birthday, how happy he was, Laura's fall, the incident with the GSA agents. Adam tried not to show his horror and sadness when he heard the story but Shalimar knew him well enough to see it. When she finished her story, she could feel the tears arriving, threatening to fall any minute now but she kept on talking. "I was strong enough. I felt like I should have used my powers to save her but I just watched. That man, on his birthday, is dying inside and it pains me more than anything that I couldn't do anything about it! Me, with all my powers. I couldn't do anything." When she finished, she wiped as much of the tears on her face that she could, and kept her eyes on the floor.
There was silence, a silence so thick that lasted for almost an eternity. When Adam finally spoke, his voice was firm, but gentle and reassuring. "Shalimar, there are things we can't control. Even people with powers such as yours. I told you before, about limits, right? " He waited for her to nod, to see if she fully comprehended what he was trying to tell her. "As much as we want to fix everything, make everything all right, we are all still human. There was nothing you could have done for Laura. But there is something you could still do for Jesse. And what you want to do for him, it will take time." He emphasized his point by putting his hand on her shoulder, and this time, Shalimar didn't push him away.
Shalimar looked at the shut door of Jesse's room, and then met his eyes. Finally, she nodded, understanding what he was trying to tell her. He was right, she had her powers, but she could only do as much.
She couldn't protect Laura. But she could protect Jesse.
It was a comforting thought.
***End Part IV***
Author's Notes: I know, this fic is very slow in pacing but I want to focus on Shalimar's psyche also. I hope I didn't fail in doing so. Please read and review, thanks. :)
Fandom:Mutant X
Paring: None really, but Shalimar and Jesse are the main characters being dealt with.
E-mail address for feedback: nights@poetic.com
Disclaimers: Mutant X is the property of Tribune Entertainment, and maybe even Marvel Entertainment. The characters and universe of Mutant X are being used by this author for entertainment purposes only, without any possibility of making money. I do own Laura, though. ^_^
Notes: Thanks so much to all those who reviewed my fic. :) This is my first time to write a Mutant X fanfic, let alone a fanfic with multiple chapters, so its great to receive good commentary. This fic is going to be very angsty, and this chapter will deal with some of the questions regarding Jesse's past. I know, the TV series will eventually reveal Jesse's past to us and debunk everything I've written here but hey, this IS just a fanfic. :)
Summary: An exploration of the bond between Shalimar and Jesse. Held a few years when it was just Shalimar and Adam, no one else. This is my first Mutant X fanfic, so please be nice to me.
Part IV: Pushing the Limits
"Shalimar?"
She sighed. "Adam?"
"I don't mean to annoy you, but you know what I'm going to ask."
Shalimar pulled slightly away from Jesse, who kept his eyes firmly on the ground next to her. She kept her left arm on his shoulder and gave him the most comforting smile she could muster, and then proceeded to talk to Adam on her ring.
"Give me a little more time, Adam. I'm not sure if he's ready to come with us yet."
"I'm afraid I can't give you that, Shalimar." She looked up in surprise to see the familiar form of the Double Helix appearing in the dark night sky. "Adam?"
Adam didn't answer. She sighed and looked at Jesse, who had now stood up and leaned on the tree. She wondered how she would break the news to him, and after careful deliberation, decided to take it one step at a time. "Jesse?"
He looked up at her, trying to hide his surprise, yet being betrayed by the momentary flash of shock in his eyes. "How did you know my name?"
She sighed again. She got this all the time, and it was starting to get annoying. She tried to keep her patience in check, though. "No time to answer that. We have to go."
He backed away, careful to look behind him as he did so. "Where?"
"Someplace safe. The GSA-I mean those guys," she corrected herself hastily. "They will keep on coming and coming and coming back for you, and I have to bring you someplace safe."
He looked at her suspiciously. "And that someplace safe is where?"
Shalimar lost her patience. "I can't tell you right now," she replied, grabbing his arm in an attempt to steer him to the direction where she thought Adam landed Double Helix.
It was harder than she thought, because the minute she started dragging him, she felt herself holding nothing but air. She turned around, and saw him smirking at her. "You're not going to drag me out of here without telling me who you are, and where you're from. And while you're at it, tell me what the hell you are, because I know for a fact that those moves you did earlier can't be done by any normal human being." He crossed his arms and waited for an answer.
Shalimar gritted her teeth. Smart ass. "Oh, I forgot, mommy taught you not to go anywhere with strangers," she mocked. "Tell me, little man, after I saved your head from getting shot wide open, would I take you to any dangerous place?"
Jesse thought for a moment. "I guess not." Then his eyes narrowed. "But who are you? Its not fair, you know my name, you're not even telling me how you found out, but you're not telling me anything about yourself."
"Look, I don't have time for a third degree, but if you really need to know, its Shalimar."
"Shalimar, huh?" Shalimar looked up and realized that while she was talking, Jesse had been checking her out. She smirked as he tried not to let on that he was admiring her from head to toe, but Shalimar wasn't stupid, and she wasn't going to let him get away with it. "Do you want me to turn around so you can get a full view?"
Jesse blushed, and Shalimar laughed at his reaction, her eyes twinkling. "Ok, you know my name, so let's go?"
He hesitated for a moment, and then reached for her hand, which, with hesitation, she obliged. As they walked, Jesse squeezed her hand tightly, as if he was checking if her hand was still there. Shalimar blinked, surprised at the gesture and the too-intimate contact, but responded by squeezing his hand back.
******************
"Report?"
"Nothing much, Adam. Three GSA agents tried to get him, even tried to steal his things." Shalimar pressed her fingers to her forehead. She felt a headache slowly making its presence felt. "I got rid of them, and brought Jesse here."
Adam pressed the auto-pilot button of the Double Helix and looked behind him at Jesse, who sat a few meters away, his forehead pressed into the window, eyes clouded, deep in thought. "And how is he?"
Shalimar hesitated, then decided that she shouldn't hide anything from him. "Not good," she confessed. "Adam…" she broke off, not knowing what else to say.
Adam regarded her with a concerned look on his face. He studied her for awhile, then stood up and walked to Jesse's direction.
Shalimar knew what he had in mind, and instinctively grabbed his arm. "Be gentle."
Adam nodded. He pulled a seat and sat down in front of Jesse. "Jesse?"
Jesse pried his face away from the window with much difficulty. He looked at Adam with weary eyes, not even bothering to answer.
Adam pulled out a thin sheet of plastic from a container he kept in his pocket. "Don't panic," he told him soothingly. "This will only be for a few minutes."
Much to his surprise, Jesse didn't panic, nor fight him from attaching the sheet onto his right temple. Adam gave Shalimar a Look, which she returned.
"A visual cloak," Jesse whispered softly, in a voice barely audible, but enough for Shalimar's enhanced hearing to catch. She gave Adam a startled look.
Adam thought for a moment. "You're aware of this kind of technology?"
"I heard my father talk about these kinds of things before," Jesse answered coolly.
"What exactly does your father do?" Shalimar asked.
Jesse didn't answer, and leaned back into his seat. He felt for the window, and pressed his face to it again. Shalimar and Adam guessed the conversation was over.
Adam sighed and returned to the cockpit. Shalimar stayed behind, staring at the young man who was staring outside the window as if he could still see through it. She couldn't understand why, but the previous events and the cold demeanor he just exhibited stabbed at her heart, and she felt the unexplainable sadness she felt when she saw the ring without a genetic code return with a vengeance. She tried to make sense with her feelings and the more she did, the more it made her confused.
And scared.
*********************
Jesse lay on the examination chair, shifting every now and then, trying to find a comfortable position. He had insisted on keeping his clothing the whole time, and no amount of coaxing from Adam made him change his mind.
"Scan complete." Adam walked back towards Jesse, who had sat up quickly.
"You never really told me what this scan is for." Jesse looked at him suspiciously.
Adam held up his hands. "Well, since you recognized the technology we used, from the visual cloak, I figured you would know what this scan does to New Mutants."
Jesse's head raised sharply as he heard the word, that word that seemed so vile to him, that one word other than "freak" that he hated. "I'm not a New Mutant."
Adam blinked, and then proceeded to explain the scan. "This machine is sort of a diagnostic check. It checks up on your powers-"
Jesse threw his head back and let out a sardonic laugh. "Powers, huh?" His jaw clenched as everything, all the frustration, pain and confusion he failed to control and understand from the previous events that happened that evening, all solidified into an emotion he could control, quite well.
Anger.
He lashed out, banging his fist onto the nearest exam table. "How can you call these "powers"?" he shouted. "I bet none of us freaks wanted this power you're forcing in on us!"
Adam didn't answer. Jesse felt himself seeing red, again, and in his desperation to push it away, push the images of the previous events from his mind, the more he lost control of that very aspect of himself that he wanted to hide so badly. His heart caught in his throat as he felt it, the sudden rush of air into his chest, as if he was floating into a space, a space he didn't want to be in.
Adam tried to hide his surprise as he watched Jesse fading, slowly, in front of him. He stepped forward and watched him closely. Jesse's eyes grew wide in fear as he tried to control his powers, but in vain. And that was when he raised his eyes to him, his fear and confusion stabbing Adam like a dozen knives.
Adam acted quickly. "Focus," he told him, keeping his voice calm. "You can do it, Jesse. Come back to us."
It didn't work. Adam could barely see the features of Jesse's face now, but he knew the young man was more than horrified than what he let on. But then Jesse suddenly reappeared, his features more clear, as he was finally able to control his powers.
Adam clapped. "Good work, Jesse," he congratulated him. "Now, if I can teach you to control your powers-"
Jesse cut him off. "I don't want to control my powers."
Adam had heard this a dozen times, in each case he never really listened to what the other New Mutants had to say. But there was something in Jesse that made him give him a chance.
"I've done everything you've asked me to without question," Jesse started, his voice now calm and sure of himself, but Adam could detect the lingering feeling of self-doubt. But he listened anyway. "So I'm going to ask for your help."
Adam nodded. "I'm listening."
Jesse started to pace back and forth in the room. "My dad-he said something about fixing me," he continued. "That there's a way to end this, all these unnecessary "powers"."
"Where is your father?" Adam prodded gently, hoping to steer the conversation as far away from the direction Jesse had intended it to.
It didn't work. "Shalimar told me that you've a very smart person, and that you're doing this, saving all new mutants, out of guilt from everything you've done. That you want to make amends for your mistakes." Jesse stopped pacing and looked at him squarely in the eye. "I want you to cure me."
Adam blinked, and replied almost immediately. "No."
Jesse's eyes widened in disbelief, yet he kept his voice calm. "And why not?"
"Because its too dangerous, and its nearly impossible."
Jesse's face contorted in anger. "Dangerous??!" he practically yelled. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe our own powers are dangerous on their own?"
Adam cringed inwardly as Jesse almost spat the word "powers" out. "Yes, I'm aware of that, " he replied calmly. "But-"
Jesse was trying to control himself from lashing out, pacing back and forth, and then stopping, and then pacing again. "We are a danger to ourselves, to everyone around us!" He stopped pacing and came to a stop in front of him. "What happens if we can't control our "powers"? What happens if some of us don't want to control our powers" and want to use these "powers" to harm other people? Isn't that a reason on its own to stop this?"
Adam didn't speak, and merely looked him in the eye, the expression in his face enough as an answer. Jesse's shoulders heaved, and when he spoke, his voice cracked. "Please," he whispered. "I need you to cure me. I'm begging you."
Adam shook his head sadly, feeling Jesse's pain. "I'm sorry, Jesse," he tried to soothe him. "I don't know why you hate your powers so much, but I can assure you that I did try to make a cure. Unfortunately it didn't work. Making a cure takes longer than you think, and while it is feasible, we have more important things to worry about."
Jesse didn't seem to hear him. He kept his eyes glued to the floor for several minutes, and when he finally spoke, his voice was small and barely audible. "If you don't mind, I want to leave tomorrow morning."
Adam nodded. He wanted to argue, but the young man's exhaustion was too obvious. "I'll tell Shalimar to get you a room." He watched as Jesse barely nodded, his shoulders dropping so low in disappointment. Adam hated seeing these people that he had always considered as his children so sad, and he almost felt angry with himself that for once, he didn't really know what to do to make everything better.
****************
Adam was on his way to his quarters when he saw Shalimar standing in the middle of the hallway, staring on the door outside Jesse's guest room. Adam came to a stop next to her and was about to ask her what was wrong, but he stopped himself when he saw how weary she looked as she stared, through the open door, the young man sitting on his bed, staring into space. Adam didn't fully understand why the young man affected Shalimar so much, but he had been with her long enough to know what she is feeling without her needing to tell him, and what he could feel, are emotions so alien from Shalimar.
Sadness. So much sadness.
"Don't mind him," Adam told her gently. "He's just confused and afraid. That's how they usually get, but I'm sure-"
"How can you be so cold and unfeeling?" Shalimar snapped. She turned and looked at him, her eyes flashing in anger.
Adam was stung by her remark, but he kept his voice calm. "I can understand your frustration, Shalimar, but-"
She cut him off again. "Stop acting like you know everything about me, Adam, because I can tell you now that you don't know what I'm feeling." She looked at him squarely in th eye, her jaw jutting up in defiance.
It has been bothering Adam for such a long time, and he had been meaning to discuss it with her, but he couldn't find the right time to do so. Now, he decided to just plunge right in. "This is all about the ring, isn't it?"
Shalimar was taken aback. It worked. "What?"
"I saw you looking at the ring, the one without the genetic code." He tried to put his hand on her shoulder, but Shalimar flinched and backed away. "I know that you're afraid of being off to missions on your own-"
"I'm not afraid!" Shalimar shouted. She saw that Jesse's door was still open, and Jesse had now cocked his head to the direction of her voice. Shalimar slammed the door shut and walked farther down the hall. Adam followed her. "I'm not afraid, " she said, in a voice that Adam recognized, her self-confidence back.
"Then what's wrong, Shalimar?" Adam prodded gently.
Shalimar couldn't speak. She wanted to tell Adam so badly, everything she was feeling, everything that had been keeping her mind busy for the last few days. But she was too afraid.
"Is it Jesse?"
That did it. Shalimar felt the unfamiliar saltiness of tears materialize into her eyes. When was the last time she cried? She couldn't remember, and if she did, she didn't want to. It made her feel weak and vulnerable, and that was one feeling that she didn't want to feel ever again.
"Shalimar, Jesse can learn to control his powers, I can assure you that." Adam tried to soothe her the only way he can, by making promises that he would have to work harder to fulfill later.
"Why?" Shalimar finally managed to say.
"Why what?"
"Why do you always say "when?" How can you be so sure that we can control it?"
Adam was surprised at the negative energy he rarely felt from her. He didn't say anything, but the look on his face willed her to continue.
When she did, her voice cracked. "I was there, Adam," A tear slid down her cheek and she wiped it off hastily, angry at herself for crying in front of him. Adam nodded, giving her a slight smile of assurance. "I saw everything...how everything...how our powers can make someone so happy and then make someone so sad just like that," she snapped her fingers. "Just like that. Oh God, Adam, you should have seen his face..." And then she told Adam everything; Jesse's birthday, how happy he was, Laura's fall, the incident with the GSA agents. Adam tried not to show his horror and sadness when he heard the story but Shalimar knew him well enough to see it. When she finished her story, she could feel the tears arriving, threatening to fall any minute now but she kept on talking. "I was strong enough. I felt like I should have used my powers to save her but I just watched. That man, on his birthday, is dying inside and it pains me more than anything that I couldn't do anything about it! Me, with all my powers. I couldn't do anything." When she finished, she wiped as much of the tears on her face that she could, and kept her eyes on the floor.
There was silence, a silence so thick that lasted for almost an eternity. When Adam finally spoke, his voice was firm, but gentle and reassuring. "Shalimar, there are things we can't control. Even people with powers such as yours. I told you before, about limits, right? " He waited for her to nod, to see if she fully comprehended what he was trying to tell her. "As much as we want to fix everything, make everything all right, we are all still human. There was nothing you could have done for Laura. But there is something you could still do for Jesse. And what you want to do for him, it will take time." He emphasized his point by putting his hand on her shoulder, and this time, Shalimar didn't push him away.
Shalimar looked at the shut door of Jesse's room, and then met his eyes. Finally, she nodded, understanding what he was trying to tell her. He was right, she had her powers, but she could only do as much.
She couldn't protect Laura. But she could protect Jesse.
It was a comforting thought.
***End Part IV***
Author's Notes: I know, this fic is very slow in pacing but I want to focus on Shalimar's psyche also. I hope I didn't fail in doing so. Please read and review, thanks. :)