Title: The Elements of Trust
Author: Nights
Paring: None really, but Shalimar and Jesse are the main characters being dealt with.
E-mail address for feedback: nights@poetic.com

Disclaimers: Mutant X is the property of Tribune Entertainment, and maybe even Marvel Entertainment. The characters and universe of Mutant X are being used by this author for entertainment purposes only, without any possibility of making money. I do own Laura, though. ^_^

Summary: An exploration of the bond between Shalimar and Jesse. Held a few years when it was just Shalimar and Adam, no one else. This is my first Mutant X fanfic, so please be nice to me.

Part VI: Fragments

"Adam?" Jesse looked at him questioningly, silently asking him to direct him on what to do.

Adam shook his head, thinking fast. It had been a good twenty minutes since Jesse shut the com panel off, and he had turned it on practically every minute, listening intently for any sign of Shalimar's current condition. The response was the same every time. Nothing.

"Keep on checking," he told him wearily. With a nod, Jesse went back to the com panel.

A pained look crossed Adam's face as he watched Jesse steadfastly turning the com panel on again every now and then, waiting patiently for a response from Shalimar. Bright blue eyes lost its luster every time he received a muted response from the panel, yet he kept on listening. And listening.

Adam didn't know if he should admire the boy's dedication or should he berate him for his naivety. Right now, it didn't really matter.

The urge to kick himself for letting Shalimar get away with her carelessness returned with a vengeance. He always made it clear to her that someday her recklessness would get her into trouble, although he never really wished for that trouble to arrive anytime soon, or anytime at all.

"Adam!" Jesse beckoned for him excitedly. Adam walked up to the com panel and sat down next to him. "I heard something-her voice," he told him. "That's a good sign, isn't it?"

Adam wanted to be as optimistic as him, he really did, but he didn't want to keep the boy's hopes up and shatter them later, should the situation keep on being like this. "Maybe," he answered vaguely. Maybe not. Yet he berated himself for his negativity. He felt his heart break as Jesse's face fell, not anymore bothering to hide his feelings to himself. He tried to think of something comforting to say, anything to soothe him, but static from the com panel pulled him from his thoughts. He let out a sigh of relief when he heard Shalimar's familiar voice.

"Jesse?"

Adam tried to hide the smile from his face as Jesse's face lit up at the thought of being the first person Shalimar called for. Jesse's moods were like a seesaw-when he's sad, he would be drowning in an abyss of pain; but when he's happy, he would be soaring onto clouds. Jesse looked at him, silently asking for permission to speak on the receiver. Adam nodded his go ahead.

"Yeah, Shalimar? I'm here."

"Tell Adam I'm ok, Geoffrey got away but I managed to disable the machines. I'm on my way back."

"Ok."

Adam crossed his arms, preparing himself for what he planned for her later. He would not let her get away with her recklessness this time.

************

Ouch. Her arm hurt like hell, but she continued to keep it on its position, knowing that if Adam found out that she was injured, he would increase the length of his pre-planned speech on responsibility and obedience. And she didn't want to hear that.

Geoffrey was stronger than she thought, and even though she disabled the machinery before he attacked her, it did not stop him from forcing his claws on her arm. The pain was enough to stun her so he could make a quick getaway.

She had no intention on meeting anyone on her way out of Double Helix, but when she came out, Jesse was right there on the landing strip. He walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, the look on his face betraying his worry. "Are you all right?"

She laughed and gave him a light punch on the arm, trying to hide how her face contorted in pain at the exertion. "Why wouldn't I be?" she answered flippantly.

Jesse ran his eyes all over her, and Shalimar was starting to get irritated at being observed like a lab rat. His gaze finally came to a stop of her arm. She held her breath as his eyes narrowed for a moment, but returned to its normal demeanor. "I...we were worried back there," he told her. "I thought you were-" His eyes clouded for a moment, but he shook his head to clear it. When he spoke again, the tone of his voice was cool. "I thought you were in trouble."

"Me, in trouble?" She laughed. "Hardly."

Silence. Jesse wanted to say more, she noticed, but he was having a hard time coming up with the words. Instead, he hesitantly reached for her, anything, of her. She wanted to oblige, but she knew that if he touched her he would find out about her arm and she wasn't in the mood to answer the million questions he would ask her. So instead, she gave him a reassuring smile and brushed past him. She tried to ignore the look of hurt from his face that bored onto the back of her head but it hit her hard, like twenty million meteor fragments exploding on solid ground.

She tried to push Jesse out of her mind and hurriedly tried to duck past the lab into her room when Adam came out of nowhere, grabbed her firmly by her injured arm, and steered her to the lab. She tried to stop herself from crying out in pain but the exertion was too much.

When they reached the lab, Adam finally let go of her arm. "Injured, I see."

"It was just…just a scratch from Geoffrey."

Adam tore off the sleeve of her shirt, exposing the blood dripping from three, long and very deep scratches on her arm. He clucked his tongue at the sight, and gave her a look that betrayed all of his pent-up irritation, frustration, and annoyance at her.

She tried to beat him to whatever he had in mind to say to her. "Adam-"

Adam raised his hand firmly. "Don't say anything, Shalimar. You'll just make me more angry than what I am right now."

She kept quiet, allowing Adam to cleanse her wounds and bandage her arm methodically. When he finished, she tried to get up, but was surprised when Adam pushed her back on the examination table roughly.

"Look, Adam, I know you're angry I didn't bring Jesse but-"

Adam turned around, and she was shocked at how angry he was. Yet his voice remained calm and even, despite the small hints of anger it betrayed. "What the hell were you thinking, Shalimar? Not only did you purposely disobey my orders but you got yourself injured also."

Shalimar bent her head down in fear. She had never seen Adam so angry, and she had to admit that seeing him so out of control scared her.

Adam finally spoke again, but the tone of his voice-he was on the brink of screaming at her, and his overwhelming patience was the only thing stopping him from doing so. For once, Shalimar found herself thankful for that patience. "I have had enough of this, Shalimar. I told you before that you're all I got, how important it is for you to be careful at all times, not to take unnecessary risks. How many times do I have to tell you that before you understood it well enough to follow it?"

She couldn't answer. When he put it that way, how could she? The feeling of shame coursed through her very being and she felt sick to the stomach. Yet she willed herself to say something.

"I'm sorry, Adam," she answered finally, her voice small. "But I just couldn't-I just couldn't put Jesse in any danger."

Adam didn't let her finish. With a loud sigh, he left the room, leaving her to soak into her guilt, shame, and pain.

*********************

Shalimar looked up when Adam returned to the lab minutes later, his face still reared in anger, but not as intense as before. She tried to smile at him, but the look on Adam's face was too serious to make room for a smile back.

"Any news on Geoffrey?" She asked.

"We're trying to track him. Jesse volunteered to search the database for any clues on Geoffrey's favorite hiding places, maybe he would return to those. For now," Adam massaged his temples. "We have nothing to do but stay put and wait for anything Jesse finds, or for any news from my contact." He regarded her curtly. "How's your arm doing?"

"Not too great, but it wasn't as bad as before."

"Go to your room then, and get some rest."

Shalimar nodded, suddenly feeling weary. She stretched and walked out of the lab. She hesitated before walking to her room, and decided to pass by the computer room.

Jesse was stretched out on the chair, typing furiously on the computer. She reminded him for a moment of Adam, when he was rebuilding the database. Adam lost sleep for two weeks fixing that database, and knowing Jesse, he would lose just as much to find Geoffrey. She smiled to herself at the subtle hint of protectiveness from Jesse, liking the feeling, despite its unfamiliarity.

Jesse noticed her standing and hesitated, before giving her a small smile. "Hey."

Shalimar herself hesitated before approaching him, mentally rehearsing her apology for the cold treatment she gave him earlier. She walked over to him, bent over and leaned her arm on the back of his chair. "How's the search going?"

Jesse sighed. "To be honest, not too well," he confessed. "Geoffrey switches hiding places practically everyday, and I'm trying to figure out a pattern, and so far, whatever I've learned, I end up on a dead end. Right now I'm checking out the latest news reports on unexplainable attacks, maybe it would lead me to him, but so far, still nothing." He looked at her arm and his eyes widened. "Your arm…?"

"No, no, its nothing," she told him breezily. "Just a small scratch from Geoffrey. It doesn't even hurt much."

Jesse grew silent, and he faced the computer again. "I bet nothing could ever hurt you," he said softly.

Shalimar looked at him, deciding in the end to dump the apology, because Jesse didn't need it, nor wanted it. She watched him as he quietly returned to his work. It had been two weeks, and Jesse had obviously been working extra hard, filling his schedule with things to do so he could feel useful again, and also, to keep his mind off Laura's death. It pained her, how she wanted so hard to make everything better for him but every now and then the lingering shadow of pain and sadness would trample over everything she's worked so hard for. Jesse didn't know that she still watched over him as he slept, and he probably didn't know also that he still had bad dreams. She was always there to soothe him back to sleep before the feeling of waking up fully registered into his system, hence, he never really remembered anything. But still, it was there, and the irate feeling of helplessness bothered Shalimar more than anything.

Without thinking, she used her uninjured arm to massage the muscles on the back of his neck. He let out a soft sigh at the comfort of her thumbprints on his skin. Jesse instinctively leaned his cheek to the palm of her hand, and she smiled at the subtle sign of complete trust from him.

"Shal?"

She raised her eyebrow in surprise at the use of an unfamiliar nickname. She let it go anyway. "Yeah?"

"Why did you leave me?"

She sighed. "I didn't think you were ready to go to this mission."

Jesse reached for her hand, keeping his eyes on the data streaming on the screen, yet not fully taking them in. "But I am."

"You don't trust yourself to control your power. I can see it. How you avoid me when I ask to start with your combat training. You don't believe that you can save people. I can't risk you out there at your current state of mind, Jesse." I can't risk myself with you.

Jesse responded by squeezing her hand tightly. "I need to prove myself to you, Shalimar. I need to prove myself to Adam. You have to take a chance on me."

"Take a chance on yourself."

"I'm afraid."

Shalimar finally squeezed his hand back, so tightly that she didn't notice Jesse's face wince in pain. So am I.

****************

As she predicted, Jesse spent the rest of the evening until the early morning searching for Geoffrey, seemingly exhausting all means. She didn't leave him the whole time, but she kept her distance, and the minute she saw him bend his head on the keyboard, just to shut his eyes for a short while, she found herself at his side in seconds. Pillow in hand, she adjusted him to a better position, and turned off the computer. Satisfied at her work, she then pulled a chair next to him and kept her usual watch as he slept.

She counted three times. Three times Jesse woke up with yet another bad dream, and barely a minute it took for her to soothe him back to sleep.

Three times. It was an improvement from the first day, when she couldn't even keep track of the number of bad dreams he had.

Adam must be kidding himself to think that Jesse was ready for missions. Yet he called her to the lab the next morning, right after breakfast. She approached the room hesitantly. She was still afraid of Adam, how he nearly exploded at her a few hours ago. It scared her, the realization that Adam was human and had limits to his own seemingly overwhelming exhaust of patience.

"Yes, Adam?"

He didn't look up from his computer. "My contact called," he answered, typing furiously. "For some unknown reason Geoffrey had his subdermal governor deactivated. He had stolen new computer equipment and is hidden at a new warehouse, again. He wants to execute his plans as soon as possible. "

The sound of Geoffrey's name being mentioned freed her from her early morning grogginess, and she felt the familiar surge of excitement to get some payback run through her body. "I'll get on it," she replied. She turned to leave. She wanted to get out there before Adam could-

"And don't forget to take Jesse with you."

She turned around. She wasn't going to lose this argument this time. "No."

Adam let out a loud sigh, and then turned off the monitor of his computer. He faced her squarely. The expression on his face made it clear that he wasn't in the mood for an argument with her, but he gave it a shot anyway. "Shalimar. Your arm still has yet to heal. Yesterday's events proved that Geoffrey is someone you can't handle alone." A pair of outraged eyes met his and he held out his hand so she would let him finish. "I know that you think you can handle it on your own but from what happened yesterday I think you should take my word for it."

Shalimar was about to let out a defiant response, when she realized that perhaps a change of approach would help her situation. She waited for a while, and then spoke, keeping her voice quiet and reasonable. "Adam. I know you're worried about me, and you don't think I can handle myself. But you see, its not me you should be worried about." She met his eyes, and when Adam didn't interrupt, she took it as a sign that he was waiting for her to continue. "I-I don't think Jesse's ready, physically and emotionally."

Adam nodded. "I'm aware of that, Shalimar. But sometimes, when we face things even though we're not yet ready, the strength of what we face will drive us to be ready for it."

Shalimar knew that she was fighting a losing battle, but she kept on anyway. "I don't want to risk him when he's not yet ready."

Adam stepped forward and placed a hand on her shoulder. He looked at her for a full minute, and when he finally spoke, his voice was so gentle, it almost came out as a whisper. "And when will he be ready, Shalimar?"

Shalimar was surprised at the question, more so because she had been asking herself the same question and frankly, she didn't know the answer. She was too proud to tell that to Adam, though. Instead, she looked down at the floor of the lab. "Please, Adam," she finally answered, resorting to begging. Anything would do to keep Jesse safe.

Adam shook his head. She knew it. With a heavy heart, she nodded and made her way to where she left Jesse sleeping.

******************

Shalimar watched in admiration as Jesse piloted Double Helix like he was born to do so. If he was the least bit excited of finally going to his first mission, he didn't show it. She relayed Adam's plan to him earlier, with some minor alterations. He was the lookout, while she would go in the warehouse, disable the machinery and get out. She didn't mention to him that she had plans of kicking Geoffrey's ass, for that would worry him and might make him tell on her to Adam.

Jesse's eyes narrowed in confusion when she outlayed the plan to him. "I'm just a lookout? I thought Adam said something about me disabling the machinery?"

She let out a laugh and gave him a pat on the head. "I don't think I remember Adam saying anything about that."

"I think he did." Jesse looked at her closely. "Look, Shal, I know you don't think I could handle it but I-"

"That's not it," she interrupted him. "Adam won't give you too much work to do at your first mission, that's all."

The answer didn't satisfy Jesse, but as usual he kept his reservations to himself, and trusted on her judgment. "Don't worry, Shalimar, you can count on me."

I hope so.

****End Part 6****