"The Jivin' Wizard MagiClub" by Quidditch, Anyone?
Then Comes the Dancers and Old TV Series Set
Things We Need For Our Trendy New Jivin' Club
1. A name
2. A place to 'get down'
3. Butterbeer
4. Cheez-Its
5. Dancers (or other hot forms of entertainment)
6. Solid gold dancing poles and/or cages
7. Toilet paper (for the Gryffindor loo)
8. Sh-
Fred looked up from his list temporarily while George came springing over to the couch on which he was sitting.
"Got the place!" he said excidedly.
"Really? Where?"
It was this old run-down building near some ally in Hogsmead. I think it used to be the set of some muggle game show called 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire'."
"Oh, right, I've heard of that," Fred said knowingly. "Dreadful. No suprise the place is abandoned now."
"And the best part is on the set they had all these funky lights and a network-sound-noise-stereo-thingy that played the theme music. The tune was annoying, but I'm sure we can fix it so it plays something more, er, tolerable."
"So we have the building, lights, and a network-sound-noise-stereo-thingy that can play music. Now all we need are some Cheez-Its-"
"Some what?"
"A name, dancers..." Fred confirmed from his list.
"What kind of list is that? Fred, let me take care of everything we need."
"So what can I do?"
"Well, you can, erm... make posters telling everyone about the club!"
"Score! How does this sound: The Simulated Super Sorcerer Shagadelic Shindig S-"
"Ah, on second thought, why don't you go ask some girls if they'll dance at the club," George said quickly. "It's the cheapest way to get some cheap entertainment. Just ask a few cheap girls to wear some cheap costumes and cheap make-up so they'll look really cheap."
"That's a cheap shot, but fine, I'll do it." Fred slouched away, crumpling his list and throwing it over his head into a group second-years.
·~··~··~·
"Absolutely not!" Hermione fumed ten minutes later in the girls' dormitory.
"C'mon, Hermione! Just a few nights, and if you don't like it, then you're only obligated to dance for another two and a half months, then I'll probably plead and pry once again until you give in again, and again, and again, until the club gets shut down. What's so bad about that?"
"No decent female would willingly dance in metal cages or even on your stupid stage! Not if she had any brains or morals of her own!"
"But Parvati and Lavender just agreed to do it, and I didn't even have to bribe them!"
Hermione looked as if she had putrid fish thrust under her nose.
"Keep in mind, Ronnikins is going to be at the club, too. I'm asking him to be the DJ." Fred smiled slyly.
Hermione blushed magenta. "So?"
"Just think about it," Fred pronounced as he turned a 180 and headed out of the dormitory. Mentally, he had put Hermione's name down for the entertainment the second he mentioned Ron, of course.
Next, he needed Ginny to be the waitress. Logically, with the slight lack in female entertainment, Ginny would have been down as another dancer, but the thought of his little sister waving her arms while hanging off a pole with her stomach showing gave him sudden urge to rid his digestive system of breakfast via puking his guts out. So, Ginny, or 'Gin-Gin' as she was now going to be called, would be serving drinks to sweaty, half-drunk wizards on the dance floor.
"And with the waitress, exotic-er, 'tasteful' dancers, and Ron hopefully as DJ, all we need is a bartender and bouncer. Hmm... well, Harry can be bartender, seeing as he's not the most likely candidate to be jammin' on the dance floor. Now, for bouncer, the last person who would ever jive, someone who is nerdy enough that he won't be missed, yet strong enough he can interfere if things get ugly. Well, the only person very likely is-"
"Erm, Fred? You haven't seen my teddy, Mr. Doody, anywhere, have you?"
Ah, Neville.
·~··~··~·
"Right, we nearly everything except for a name now," George informed Fred when everything else had been sorted out and accounted for.
"I told you, The Simulated Super-"
"Fred, that name might as well be The Stupid Sucky Screwy Snape Society. How about..."
"The Jammin' Jumpin' Jamboree?"
"No."
"The Wicked Weasley Wizard Wonderland?"
"No."
"The Chic Chocolate Chicken Cafe?"
Geroge raised his eyebrows. Fred just shrugged.
"The Jivin' Wizard MagiClub."
"Mmm, sounds a but amateur, don't you think?"
"Well, it's the best the author can come up with at the moment, so deal with it." George said.
"Okay. I'm sold."
Once in a while, I like to take a moment and write a deep poem reflected my biggest concern at the time;
Ants took over my bedroom,
There's spiders in my loo.
I suggest you varmints leave here,
Or you'll be flushed down with the poo.
But if you still choose to crash here,
And make yourselves at home,
Just this once, I'm warning you,
I'll write more cheesy poems.
Space in my mind for sale; I'm not using any of it.