"The Jivin' Wizard MagiClub" By Quidditch, Anyone?

What Everyone Expected From Slytherin

Now, every must already assume that Dumbledore is the biggest Disco-King in all of wizarding history. I mean, how could he not be? He looks the part, acts the part, and is the most famous wizard of his time. It was bound to happen that ol' Albus would be tearing up the dance floor before long.

So there he was, in bright blue bellbottoms, his funkiest wizard hat, a rather shocking orange open vest, and a gold peace sign on a chain over his bare chest. Young wizards and witches alike parted so he has a clear route to the spotlight (which just happened to appear out of nowhere).

"Ron," Fred hissed at his astonished brother. "Now would be a good time to-"

And, right on cue, Ron started playing funky music from the 70's just as Dumbledore did a disco move to put every boy band to shame (which, then again, isn't saying much). Then, as the teenagers present started tapping their feet to the beat and bobbing their heads, the dance floor filled in and everyone was once again rockin' the house.

Gin-Gin turned to Harry back at the bar. "Wanna dance?" she asked sheepishly.

"Er, I- I don't really- I never..." Harry mumbled.

"Oh, go on, lover boy," George appeared suddenly and grabbed Harry's arm and yanked him around the bar. Whiplashed, yet thankful, Harry started groovin' with his red-headed partner.

Ron was watching Harry and Ginny and got the sudden urge to ask Hermione to dance. He glanced at her breifly just as she did the same. Good thing strobelights were dancing in the dark bar, otherwise they would see how red the other had gotten. Ron looked away, embarrassed, and mumbled something like, "Wannadancewimme?"

Before he even finished, Hermione steered him into the crowd and they started to jive.

Soon everyone was partnered with their crush; Lavender and Seamus, Parvati and Lee Jordon, Ernie and Justin... between the music, blood alcohol levels increasing, and skimpy clothing, everyone was having, well, the time of their lives.

Or, as it seems to be in the imaginary world of every story you can think of, it meant trouble was on its way. Oh, how very cliche...

For the second time that night (Wasn't it Neville's job to keep out the squares and teachers? Oh, wait, he had three sips of a margarita and passed out... that's right), the doors flew opened and a climactic scene unraveled... dressed in woman's clothes, plastered in glitter, sporting very obnoxious platform shoes- were the Slytherins!

"What the hell do you think you're doing here?" Fred yelled. He and George pushed their way through the crowd to meet the Slytherins face-to-face.

"No, wait Fred," came the heroic voice of a black-haired boy. "This is personal."

"Oh, God, here comes Potter... going to save the day again from the forces of evil," Draco Malfoy sighed as Harry came up. A few people in back nodded slightly and rolled their eyes, too.

"The most evil thing here," said a sweaty Ron. "is the way you're dressed."

Malfoy stepped in front of the rest of the Slytherins and everyone caught sight of his fish-net stockings, black miniskirt, tank top, and platforms.

"What is the meaning of this, Mr. Malfoy?" Dumbledore questioned.

"I think I'd better take care of this, Draco," said a Snape who was previously hidden in the shadows. And, not to mention, wearing a pink sequined dress and matching feather boa.

"You see, Headmaster," cross-dressing Snape began. "The Slytherins and I have been talking, and we don't really think it's fair that the rest of the school has access their own nightclub here in Hogsmeade, when the closest gay bar is 300 miles away."

"And for good reason," said a disgusted Harry.

"So... you mean to say that-" Hermione began.

"Yeah, that's right, Mud-blood," drawled Malfoy. "We're gay."

"All of us," said a fourth-year.

"Yup," said Crabbe and Goyle.

I'm sorry. I have absolutly nothing agains people who are gay, but I just thought it would make sense. I mean, Crabbe and Goyle went to the ball together in book four! Besides, the plot was getting boring; it needed, erm, a little 'something', right? Oh well... I plan to end the story within the next few chapters anyway.