"The Jivin' Wizard MagiClub" by Quidditch, Anyone?

Comes To Save The Day... Again

Poor Gryffindor. After all the time and hard labor put into this kickin' club, all they had to show for it was a grimey bar full of homosexuals.

"All that work we did, and now those bloody Slytherins just took it away," Fred sighed as he took a sip of warm butterbeer. Having no where else to go the next day, the rest of the school decided to hang around- not jive, not boogie, just hang around- in the Three Broomsticks among the sickly old wizards and hags. This sucked.

"If only there were a way to get it back," Ron wondered.

"Yeah, but I don't want to even step foot into our club now. I might be scarred for life at the sight of Snape in his dress," George pointed out.

A few others at their tabled murmered in agreement.

Harry said nothing. He had just been thinking how easy it was to take on the Dark Lord, save the world, and battle a full-size dragon all in the course of a school year, but how hard it must be to reclaim a bar from a bunch of gay Slytherins. It was a completely different story.

Or was it?

Harry's heart skipped a beat. Battling against a few transvestites might be very much like battling Voldemort. All that was really required was a group of allies, a few good spells, and the willpower to do a good deed. Right?

·~··~··~·

"Harry, what exactly is this about?" Ron asked grumpily. He, Hermione, Harry, and the twins were down in the common room in their pajamas and night things at 2 in the morning, at Harry's request.

"Well, today I was thinking in the Three Broomsticks- if a group of teenage students like us can fight You-Know-Who and thwart him and the forces of evil from taking over, then why can't we fight a group of Slytherins?"

"Because they have weapons even You-Know-Who doesn't have," said Fred.

"Like what?"

"Like dance moves, body glitter, and subscribtions to Queer Queen. It's a lot more than we can handle, really," George put in.

Harry ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "But I know we can! God, I'm The Boy Who Lived!" Harry had turned Ron's classic shade of red. He, of course, wasn't used to being told 'you can't'.

Hermione sighed. "Well, maybe we can try. I have a book that might be useful; Handguns and Homos: A History of the Battles Between Heteros and Gays. I'll have a look at that."

"Great! And I'll draw up a plan," Harry said cheerfully. Ah, the sweet satisfaction of still being the dreamy, heroic main character.

"And I'll just shake my head and go along with the plan, seeing as I'm just the one-liner sidekick," said Ron.

"That's the spirit!"

I know this is short and stupid, but I'll have to stop here for lack of creativity. I can assure you my stories will get better once I get back my main points of inspiration- the weirdos at my school. Really, it's like a field day. Cheesy couples, eavesdropping on conversations, gossip at lunch... don't take advantage of the odd people around you; they are truely the ticket to good writing. It's sort of like Jane Goodall studying the chimps. But for now, I apologize for my story, not updating, and being as interesting as that gross sponge with the food stuck on it in your sink. Yughck.