Fandom: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Title: Onaji kao. (The one with the same face.)
Pairing: Gendou + Rei, Gendou + Yui
Rating: PG
Description: Rei was made in the exact image of Yui Ikari...but can they be told apart in Commander Ikari's mind?

Disclaimer: Eva's by Gainax.

When you catch a glance of the object of your affections, you blindly follow them with your eyes. But when you really look at them and find it's just a look-alike…

Will you live in your delusion?

Onaji kao. (The one with the same face.)
by miyamoto yui

As he passed by the corridors of the complex maze they had all called Nerv Headquarters, he caught a glimpse of that girl again: The blue-haired one with the expressionless face.

But as his advisor and the people around him talked to him, he ignored her as if he could care less. His hands cringed in his white gloves, answering every question with the evasive technique he'd learn to perfect. And with every lie he uttered, he smiled to himself at how calmly he could keep this all in order within his mind.
Everything was clear.

Except for HER.

She caught his glance and remained as she always had. Dolls don't do much. But she was more of a good-looking mannequin that could actually walk around by itself. Talk? Oh, forget it. No matter what you did, it would be easier to open that pickle jar stuck in the fridge than to even try to understand her thoughts.

He didn't know she had felt him staring at her. But she always knew.
It was a daily occurrence.

Whenever someone wanted to come close to her, he'd find some way to make them go away. He was always possessive like that.
Commander Ikari would even get upset at his own son for having contact with the one called Rei Ayanami. Though he never showed it, his irritation seethed through his gloves whenever he sat behind his desk.

Jealousy…obsession…
Yes, they were sick emotions to feel, but they were a part of him just like sake was to the one called Katsuragi.

Late that evening, the commander stood up and folded his hands behind him as he stared at the countless boxes of glass that surrounded him.

"I'm reporting in, Commander Ikari," the one called Rei monotonously announced.

Tap, tap, tap…
Her steps were like taps without a rhythm. But they slightly became louder as she approached his desk. He didn't even bother to turn around as he held his hands even more tightly behind him.

Gendou just nodded his head with as much as care as one of those head-bobbing toys they used to sell before Shinji was born.

She started to tell him all the data she'd been asked to collect. And all that time, he kept on affirming her findings with "Mm"'s.
"Shitsureishimasu," she said as she turned around to leave him.
But he found himself blurting, "Wait a minute, Rei."

He then turned around to face her. She faced him and blinked at him unable to understand why he had stopped her from leaving. He had never done that before, and so, it puzzled her a bit.

It was in that instant that he truly looked at her. He watched her eyes blink back at him as he followed the contours of her body with his eyes.

"So close…yet so far…" he thought to himself.

He then found himself reaching out for her hand and catching it. Pulling on that soft, yet cold hand, he yanked her whole body towards him in a tight embrace. Rei, just stood there frozen as she had always been not really trying to understand his feelings.
Her eyes averted to one side as he closed his eyes and laid his head over her hair.

"I am not Yui."

His eyes opened widely as they had lost the look of one who had been in a deep trance.
Gendou then held her face between his hands as he looked down at her. Her beautiful eyes looked up at him as if in slight annoyance and defiance.

Was he really mixing his memories of Yui with Rei's face?

Deep inside, he knew it was true. But calmly he said, "I know you aren't."
Letting her go, she turned around to leave. But some part of him wouldn't let go. As with everything else in this life…

He embraced her again and found his lips on her neck giving her a single kiss there. Rei closed her eyes trying to deny the emotions that had tried to surface inside of her. She sighed, thinking, "Is this what it really means to be human?"

"Is there anything else you want, Commander Ikari?" was all she could say to him. She didn't how to comfort him like that female doctor Akagi. She didn't even know how to deal with herself.

Life to her was just one long continuous cycle of mundane things to do.

Until that time he saved her…
Until she kept those glasses he had broken in the process of doing that…

He wanted to keep Rei within his range of vision. As long as she was near, he could live with the illusion of Yui always watching him.
At that moment, as much as it would sadden her, she would do it. To make him happy…even for a little while…

She turned around and tilted her head. Rei smiled at him.
And he blinked his eyes slowly as he found himself smiling back even for a second.
Then, Gendou finally let her go as he watched her walk away from him.

It was like Yui leaving all over again and disappearing into the darkness.

"Rei?"
She stopped but didn't turn around. "Yes?"

As he opened his mouth, he closed it just as quickly.
"Nothing."

She then continued to walk away from him.

"I am not Yui," her voice repeated in his brain as he stared at her back.

"I know you aren't…" he tried to convince himself inside of his mind.

In her mind as she walked away, she began to realize, "Why did I…Why did I want to be her look-alike when he touched me?"
Tap, tap, tap…

End.
-
Author's note: I didn't plan to make another fanfic so soon, but thank you for reading if you made it to the end of this weird fic.
It was just something that popped in my head. I love Rei, but I'm probably one of those that actually like Gendou. ^^;;;; It's a long story, but I think he's interesting.

September 8th, 2002