The True Lion

Chapter Two: Heat

Squall's POV

Everywhere I turn, she seems to be there. It's almost like she's haunting me. She's in my thoughts, my dreams, and all of my life. I'm an X5! How can I feel love?

X5s are heartless killing machines, and yet I still feel so drawn to her. How could I let this happen? Zack will be so pissed when he finds out about this. I have to stay quiet, under the radar. Now, I'm completely exposed. I feel so naked everywhere I go. It's as if everyone knows my secret.

But Rinoa, she knows I'm hiding from her. She keeps asking me what's on my mind. She pries at me constantly. I know that my love for her will expose me soon. She's bound to find out. What then? What will I do?

The seizures are getting worse for me. See, we X5's aren't perfect. We all have this weird brain flaw. The medical name is Seratonin Syndrome. I have to take Tryptophan to supplement my body or I will die within two days. Usually, my seizures aren't too bad. Now though, I'm having more trouble finding my meds on the black market. Tryptophan was taken off the market years ago. Now, I have to shell out two thousand gil to get my hands on thirty pills. It's only getting harder to find. I'm swiping it from the infirmary now, but Dr. Kadowaki's sure to figure that out really soon.

I'm struggling even to make ends meet. Even as the Commander, I make barely anything. Since NORG died, Garden has been in serious trouble with funding. As a result, I'm paid nothing. I'm out stealing again. At night, sneaking around the rich neighborhoods of Balamb and swiping any valuables I can find. Luckily, I can get away with it. Sometimes it's nice to be genetically enhanced.

It's starting again, the shaking. I have to go to work in less than a half hour, and I'm having tremors. This is really bad. If I have a seizure in front of Cid, I'm so screwed. I'd take a Tryptophan, but I'm rationed on it so I don't run out too fast.

Oh, wonderful. A knock on the door. I know it's Rinoa. I can already smell her. Her soft knock is unique to her. I have to let her in, I just have to.

I open the door. She smiles up at me and says, "Hi."

I stay silent and let her in. Gosh, she's so beautiful.

Stop it, Squall. Stop.

She sits down on the couch and sighs. "Are you okay?"

Here we go again. Questions.

"Yeah."

She looks at me, "I don't think so."

"Why?"

"Squall. You have been so distant lately. What is wrong?"

I shake my head. "I'm always distant by your standards."

She sighs. "You can't just admit it! Why do you have to be so proud?"

I just roll my eyes. But a sharp pain stops me from saying anything. Great, a seizure is starting. What am I going to do?

"Squall?" She sounds concerned

But my world is getting blurry now. Everything is spinning. I have to get to the bathroom and get my Tryptophan, NOW. I move to the bathroom. My legs are getting so weak. I grab my pills and swallow them quickly.

Rinoa's in here now, looking scared.

But I can't even respond. The convulsions rip through me. It hurts so bad.

Rinoa's panicking now. She goes to call the doctor.

'No." I manage to choke.

She looks at me and kneels down by me. I grab her hand and manage to speak through the pain.

"Stay with me, please. I don't want to be alone."

Tears well up in her eyes, but she blinks them back.

She stays with me through the ten minute seizure. Finally, it slows and stops.

"Squall."

I sit up and sigh.

"I have to call the doctor."

I grab her arm, "No. They can't help me. Please don't call."

"What is wrong?"

I sigh and make up a lie about a birth defect. It isn't completely a lie, but I'm not telling her about what I really have. It's too much exposure.

She seems to understand. Thank goodness.

"Are you going to call in sick?"

I manage to stand and lean against the sink for support, "No."

"But…you are sick."

"Nothing that hasn't happened before. I'll be fine, okay?"

She nods.

I look at her. She's depressed. She's been dating me for eight months, and now she really sees that I don't trust her. I've got to fix this.

"I'm sorry. I just…I don't want you to see me like this. It's terrible."

She starts to cry. My heart shatters.

"I love you, Rinoa. I'm so sorry."

She nods.

"You won't talk to me anymore." She says.

I sigh.

"I can't have a relationship without trust."

No. No, don't leave me! My heart screams in agony, but my head tells me it's the right thing.

"Give me a chance, please." I beg

She looks away. "How can I even trust you?"

I swallow hard. "Just once. Come over tonight. I'll tell you everything, okay? Please, I can't lose you."

She nods, kisses me, and leaves.

I'm such an idiot. Letting myself depend on a human! I've just screwed myself over. What am I going to do?!