Needle in the Haystack X: Bug Beer
"So this is Venice," said Flitwick, excitement showing from the squeak of his voice. Taking off his sunglasses, he did a three-sixty pirouette to fully take in the view.
"Yeah, whoop-de-doo. Watch out for pick-pockets." said Fiona, more grumpily than she meant to. After all, she'd been stuck in a boat for hours. To add to that, she was slightly seasick from being on the Mediterranean Sea and the Adriatic Sea before finally reaching Venice. And with Minerva shrieking on the instrumental wand for the whole trip ("Don't you know those things are addictive, Min? Stop before you're totally out of control!" She had then tried to tug the wand out of her cousin's hands, but with no success), Fiona's ears were sensitive and sore, furthering her discomfort.
"Enchanting," breathed Juniper Sprout, watching the gondolas glide by.
"Awesome," piped Gunther Flitwick. His nose caught the aroma of olive oil.
"To business," ordered Minerva McGonagall. She fumbled in her backpack and drew out a map.
They checked into a wizarding motel. Flitwick was thrilled that he got his own room, complete with complementary fuzzy blue slippers and back-scratcher; Fiona grumbled about crowded living conditions with two other bodies. While she complained, she set down her luggage, which was jammed into her backpack. Meanwhile, Juniper was airing out the room, which smelled like bread mold.
Minerva attempted to talk to the clerk, moving her hands into funny shapes and making sketches in the air. He spoke no English, so she only baffled him completely. Those crazy tourists.
"Need some help?" Fiona strode over.
"Yes, before he thinks I'm mad and evicts us from our rooms."
"But he'd only throw you out. Then, I would share that miniscule bathroom with one less person, and that would make Juniper glad, too."
"I was asking about the Duck and the Bug, Fiona."
Fiona translated Minerva's question. To her surprise and dismay, he knew nothing about it. However, there was 'The Goose and the Fly', a popular art gallery three blocks away from the motel.
After asking several of the motel staff, she still drew a blank.
"No good," she moaned. "He's never even heard about it. He's a wizard, he'd know. We're searching in the wrong place, Minerva. You were wrong."
"Perhaps 'The Duck and the Bug' is a rival hotel, so they didn't want you to know about it. Or it's possible they've never heard of "The Duck and the Bug". We should ask more people," said Flitwick, in a display of logic and excuses. He still very much wanted to stay in Venice, at least until after dinner.
"Why would it be a hotel?" muttered Fiona. "How do you know it's a place, and not a thing. Besides, no one's ever heard of 'The Duck and the Bug.' See, it shows we're in the wrong place."
"It just sounds like a place," Juniper said, simply.
Minerva disagreed. "But the riddle says 'the Duck and the Bug' went for a walk'. Perhaps it's a person. Or something that is motile."
"With a duo identity?" muttered Flitwick, shaking his head skeptically. "One moment, the chap's waddle-y, and the next moment, he goes all pesky. That doesn't make any sense at all!"
They pondered this over at dinner. Flitwick wished his friends would relax and enjoy the night atmosphere. To get to the restaurant, they took a gondola, but Minerva and Juniper had been too wrapped up with the riddle, and Fiona was too glum to delight in the boat trip.
In fact, Juniper and Minerva were still brainstorming the possibilities of what 'The Duck and the Bug' could actually be.
Fiona took a sip of wine. "Hey, Min," she said suddenly, as she sloshed the red liquid around in the glass. "Fetch wine!"
Putting down her fork, Minerva took the wineglass out of her cousin's hands. "I think you've had enough of that. "
"No, honestly, Min. We've got to find all the places that sell wine! Search the pubs, osterias, and enotecas! Don't you see? 'The Duck and the Bug went for a walk, to fetch wine from the city of water!' It works! You were right, Min, it is Venice!" She flashed a huge smile at her companions.
"I still think you've had too much drink," Minerva said, returning the grin.
She paid the bill. Fiona gave a large tip. They left the restaurant, excited and thrilled.
They wandered about, enjoying the night atmosphere, full of people and aglow with lanterns strung along the bridges and walkways. Flitwick insisted that they find a gelateria so they could sample the ice cream. He offered to treat everyone.
After exploring the city, Juniper suddenly noticed they were in a dark and unlit neighborhood.
"Minerva," she said, "I don't think we should be here."
Instantly, Fiona tensed up and peered behind her shoulder.
Flitwick finished up the remainder of his cone and licked his fingers. "That's okay. We'll just retrace our steps and end up in the friendly part of town."
Already, Minerva was consulting her map. She turned it ninety degrees, then crooked her head to the left, and then flipped the map over.
"I'm sorry," she said, looking worried. "I've no idea where we are."
Fiona turned pale. "Did you hear something?"
Flitwick shook his head. Then, he fished into his jacket pocket and brought out his wand.
"Don't," said Juniper, putting a hand on his wand arm. "We shouldn't unless we need to. Magic will attract unwanted attention."
"Well, then, we'll just have to do things the Muggle way." Minerva walked towards a dilapidated store and pushed open the grimy door.
"What are you doing?" hissed Juniper. "There are only drunkards in there!"
After surveying the pub, from the unfocused eyes of unshaven men slumped over the table to the cracks in the walls and ceiling, she smiled. "Don't worry. Gunther will protect us." Minerva beckoned at Fiona and Flitwick, who were still standing outside.
"This is no place to ask for directions," grumbled Flitwick, as he took a whiff of the powerful smell of whisky. "And there isn't even a decent tankard of Butter Beer! Outrageous!"
"It's a Muggle bar." Juniper pointed out. Then, she turned to Minerva. "Why are we in here.? This place is repulsive."
The Transfigurations professor looked up. Perched on the wall was a rotting wooden sign with a peeling picture of a yellow bird and a red ladybug. Even though Minerva couldn't read Italian, she knew instantly that the black lettering read "The Duck and the Bug".
"Things are looking up for us," she remarked.
Fiona jumped into action. She took out the riddle, both parts. "Okay, we're going to be very busy with 'crawling fishes', 'hickory dickory docks', and ducks and bugs that went swimming together. So, we ought to memorize this rhyme so we won't have to keep on referring to it."
"Read it aloud," prompted Minerva.
Hickory Dickory Dock
The fish crawled to the rock
With winking light,
Sparks powered bright
Hickory Dickory Dock.
"And here's the second stanza:
The Duck and the Bug went for a walk
To fetch wine from the city of water.
The Duck climbed down and the Bug rowed on
And they both went swimming together.
Flitwick scratched his ear thoughtfully. "You could have read it slower."
"We need to go down to the wine cellar." Juniper said, rather loudly to be heard above the din. "Fiona, tell the bartender if we could see the vintage wines."
The bartender was the only man who wasn't drunk. He did have a beer gut and a tattoo mural cascading down his left arm. In his opinion, he thought it looked rather impressive.
"Sure, right down those stairs," he grunted in flawless English, as he led them to a corner not inhabited by intoxicated customers. "You know, a chap asked to see my stores just recently. It's the beer; great stuff, it is; if you pour in some gasoline, it tastes just dandy. Mind you, that's a trade secret. So how 'bout a drink, eh?" He winked at Fiona.
She kicked him hard and ran down the stairs. Shrugging, the bar tender returned to his counter.
The cellar was dark and even gloomier and dirtier than the upstairs. Flitwick procured some light immediately with his wand.
"That's a lot of booze," said Fiona. Large racks along almost every wall contained vats of vodka, barrels of beer, firkins of firewater, and little casks of cognac. One had leaked a puddle of frothy gray liquid, which several rats were eagerly sipping up.
"We're looking for a raft or boat," Juniper said, as she searched through the shelves of tuns and kegs. "Something that can be rowed."
Flitwick whistled "row-row-row-your-boat" and Minerva sneezed.
"I'm allergic to dust."
The Charms professor conjured up a hankie.
"Bless you!" said Fiona, as Minerva sneezed again and blew her nose.
She took a step forward, tripped over a hogshead of hard cider, and stumbled into the wall, her chin jamming into the plaster.
Rubbing her chin, Fiona looked up. "Dumb wall, stupid, stupid wall…wait—"
"We've found our oar."
It was long, brown, and very ordinary; probably used by a boatman. There was a thick layer of dust on it, aside from five spots that were clean.
"What do we do?" said Juniper. "Pull on it?"
"Yeah, maybe it's a handle that will lead us into a secret chamber, like in the movies."
"Let's do it," said Fiona, as she reached for the pole. "On three, okay? One…two…three…"
Minerva found herself in a cavern filled with knee-deep water, murky and black. A rowboat had been provided for transportation, with regular oars.
"Portkey," she commented, looking into the dark tunnel that they would soon have to travel.
Flitwick, slipping his way over, toppled face first into the dirty water. "Nasty," he exclaimed, shaking water from his robes, "I swear there's gasoline in there."
"Not so loudly," whispered Juniper, even though she knew that only they were in the cave.
"Yeah, you'll cause a cave-in."
They clambered into the rowboat and began their trip down the black river. As they entered the tunnel, all light, even the glow from Flitwick's wand, vanished. All that could be heard was the ping of dripping water, like an uneven metronome.
There was a heavy thump, and the tiny craft jerked and threatened to tip. Fiona leaned on the other side to balance the boat.
"We hit something big."
There were two faint pops coming from Minerva's direction. "It was a stalagmite. There are more. Two on the left, and one on the right."
"Too bad you can't talk when you're a cat," said Fiona, smiling weakly even though no one could see it. She gripped the sides of the boat tightly. "Then, you could be our guide."
A flapping sound from above made Juniper start. Bats.
The boat jolted again, and this time, there was the sound of cracking wood. Cold water started leaking in.
Flitwick waved his wand around in circles and mumbled something intelligible. Juniper could suddenly hear the wooden stick whipping around, making a whistling sound.
"What did you just do?" demanded Fiona nervously.
"I say, it's working already," commented Flitwick, sounding much more cheerful, as he got to work patching the shattered bottom.
"What?"
"My ears are ringing," said Minerva. "No, I'm giving off the pings—oh Gunther, you didn't!"
Fiona asked, "Didn't what?"
"We have bat vision."
"More correctly, Minerva," said Flitwick, "Bat hearing. I mean, if they can hear where there are going, than we should, too. When in Rome, do as the bats do."
"We are in Venice," grumbled Fiona.
But even so, she had to admit that that was pretty smart on Gunther's part. They could detect objects in the tunnel and then maneuver out of harms way.
"I think the water's getting deeper," said Juniper, frowning.
"We must be getting farther into the cave."
"Hey, did you hear that?" said Flitwick, as he tugged his ears, which had become elongated like a bat's.
"It's quite a distance away, but it's coming closer," said Fiona, taking out her wand. "And it's big."
"Row faster," urged Minerva, "We're nearing the end of the tunnel."
"It's disappeared," cried Juniper, shocked. "I can't echolocate it anywhere!"
"I doubt it left," said Minerva, scowling, as she kept rowing.
Flitwick's eyebrows raised and his eyes became very round. "It's under the boat!"
As if to punctuate that statement, a sharp horn pierced the side of the skiff, ripping off most the wood. The boat instantly filled with water.
Fiona screamed as she and everyone else tumbled into the river.
It was pure chaos. Minerva swam as fast as she could towards the bank and safety, the water churning turbulently around her. Juniper was right beside her.
Then, a huge wave crashed overhead, submerging everyone. Taking a deep breath, she swam deep enough under the surge, trying to making the air last.
She found the bank and pulled herself onto the dry ground, panting hard. Looking back, Minerva saw the creature, which resembled a massive shark with two heads and many tentacles. She'd never seen anything like it before.
And wrapped tightly in each tentacle were her friends. Minerva pulled out her wand, and shouted a Stunning Spell.
To her horror, nothing happened. Her eyes widened as she realized she'd brought the wrong wand with her. She'd brought her instrumental wand.
To Be Continued…