The Lord of the Hamsters!!
*When we last left our hobbit pals, Frodo, Sam & Pippin were on their way to Crickhollow. Just to clarify, I am skipping between the book & the movie as to what shows up in this paradoy. Confuzzling, ne? *
"We've been walking for hoooooooooooooouuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrsssssss," Pippin whined. "Can't we rest?"
"No!" Frodo said. "And besides, we haven't been walking for hours, we've only been walking for 20 minutes!"
"Well it feels like hours," Pippin pouted.
"Awwww, oody boody," Frodo said.
But after a real two hours, they plopped down & went to sleep. Frodo woke up with a tree root digging into his back. He whined & muttered to himself about his beloved feather beds, then said all happy, "Wake up, hobbits! It's a beautiful morning!"
Pippin woke up. His hair was frightening- it was a wreck. "What's beautiful about it?" he grumbled. "I was havin' a nice dream that it was me & Diamond-oops."
"Keep going, little cuz," Frodo smirked. Pippin's mouth closed with an audiable SNAP.
"Saaa-aam," Frodo sang. "Where's the water?"
Sam mumbled in his sleep. "Oh, water? It's by the stream.."
"Thankyou," Frodo grinned.
"..Rosie."
Frodo and Pippin stared at the sleeping Sam as he finished his sentence. Then Frodo yelled, "I AIN'T NO ROSIE!" Which of course woke Sam up in nothing flat. "Huh? Wha? Hubbawha?" Sam said.
"Oyy.." Pippin moaned, grabbing his head.
So they FINALLY got their water & food and set off again. Pippin started whining when-gasp!-they heard a horse a-coming! So Frodo said, "Let's hide." SaM & pippin said, "Whyy?" Frodo said, "'Cause if it's Gandalf, we can jump out saying OOGABOOGABOOGA! Now hide!" So Sam & Pippin ran off, but Frodo ended up hiding somewhere else.
Clip clop. The horse came up. Frodo suddenly had the urge to wrap the Hamster around his finger. He drew It out of his pocket.
"Sniff sniff." It drew closer. The thing above was sniffing. Frodo saw it.. it had a black horse, & it itself looked.. Sorta like a Grim Reaper wannabe. But it was really very frightening.
"Sniff, sniff," it kept sniffing. "Drat, I NEED somethin' for my sinuses!" It finally rode away.
The hobbits crawled out of their hiding places. "What WAS that?" Pippin asked.
_*_*_-*_*_*_*__*
So what about this "Black Rider"? It turns out there are eight more, Nine in all. Earlier this was the scene at their place, called Minas Morgul, in Mordor. Sorry, but they are not giving out house number & zip code. Anyway...
Number One, the Witch King, was poring over a map. "Shire.. Shire.. Where in Middle-earth is this place?!" Number One screeched.
The other eight ran up. "What're you all doing here?" Number One asked.
"Sauron says we ALL have to go," grinned Number Five.
"No fair!" whined Number One. "Besides, I can't find this Shire place."
Number Three shook his head. "It's not Shire, it's Shire-Baggins! You heard what the ugly little bugger we tortured earlier said!"
"I wasn't there," Number One pouted. "What was the torture?"
"Watching Britney Spears music videos," Number Six grinned evilly.
"Ooh, that one ALWAYS works! And I missed it!" Number One sighed. "Oh well. OK, do any of you Smartie Nazgul"-he glared at Number Three-"know where this Shire-Baggins place is?"
The other eight shrugged. "We could always ask around," Number Nine said.
Number One glared at him. "And look stupid? No way, Hon," he said. "That might get me demoted." The other eight rolled their eyes. "Come ON, we'll ALL get demoted just sitting around here!" Number Seven whined.
So they set off. But they DID end up asking around, but in a creepy way 'cause they like to freak people out. Anyway, back to our hobbits!
_*_*_*_*_*_(
Frodo had told Sammie and Pip about the Rider and Pippin said, "Your talk of sniffing Riders with invisible noses has unsettled me." "Good, you need a good creeping out," Frodo smirked.
Then-gasp!-another Rider came up, and they hid. "Sniff. Sniff. Durn nose," it said. Then, there was singing. The Rider ran off.
"Those are the High Elves!" Frodo gasped.
"Are they speaking the name of Elbereth?" Sam asked.
"No," Frodo said.
"Then how do ya know they're High Elves?"
"Just 'cause. Come on, let's say hi!"
So they jumped out of the bushes and said, "Hi, High Elves!" That freaked 'em out a bit. Aaaanywayy, Gildor, this Elf guy, said, "Hi, midge-I mean, Hobbits!" Grin; grin. "Wanna stay the night with us?"
"Yea!" The hobbits yeaed. So they had a yummy dindin and-zzzz-a g'night's sleep. Frodo bugged Gildor about the Riders, and gave him confuzzling advice. Frodo shrugged at the end and said, "Um, OK, whatevah. G'night."
Gildor shrugged too. "G'night, ya weird li'l hobbit," he muttered.
*_*_*_*_*_*
The next morn, the Elves were gone, but they left food for the hobbits. Sam and Frodo ate, and Pippin already had earlier, and was running around singing like he was in The Sound of Music or something. Finally, they set off again. They skipped going to The Golden Perch, making Pip veeeeeeerrrrrryy sad. ;_; So they took a shortcut. They were almost to open land and Pip and Sam were singing when they heard a wailing cry.
They were creeped out. "There were words in that cry, though I dunno what ones. No beast or bird in the Shire calls like that," Frodo said.
"I heard the words," Sam said. "'Sale at Macy's!'"
They kept walking and came out to open land. OH NO! GASP! ANYTHING can see 'em now! Then they saw a farmhouse type place. "Oh, Farmer Maggot's place! Me an' Merry know 'im!" Pip said happily, But Frodo stopped short and whined, "Ohhhhhh nooooooooo!!! ANOTHER trouble!"
"Hubbawha? Wassa matter with ol' Maggot?" Pippin asked, cocking his head.
"Um, I used to steal 'shrooms (mushrooms) from him," Frodo said sheepishly.
"GASP!" (Pip & Sam.)
"And he got his dogs to chase me off."
"GASP!" (Sam & Pip.)
"And he told them to.. uh, I forget, I think, make me pay the next time I trespassed on his place."
"GASP!" (do I really need to tell you who says it?)
Pip finally said, "Well, just come on. Everything'll be OK." So they went to Farmer Maggot's.
The dogs came running out. Frodo went "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Grip, Fang, uhh.. You! Other dog! Heel!" Farmer Maggot called.
"Hey, Farmer Maggot! What's up?" Pippin said.
"The sky, young hobbit. Hey, it's Peregrin Took! How ya doin', eh?"
"I'm OK. This is, um, Sam Gamgee & Frodo Baggins," Pip said, and Frodo was sure he would be meat in two seconds. But he wasn't. Doi doi.
Farmer Maggot said, "Aw, heck, come on in! And, oh, I 'member you, Baggins. But not 'cause the 'shrooms. Some funny character came by askin' fer you. But I told 'im off before I called me dogs. Come on in fer supper."
So the hobbits came in to eat dindin with the Maggots. Ugh. Heck of a last name, ne? Anyways, then they set off for Crickhollow..
TBC
*When we last left our hobbit pals, Frodo, Sam & Pippin were on their way to Crickhollow. Just to clarify, I am skipping between the book & the movie as to what shows up in this paradoy. Confuzzling, ne? *
"We've been walking for hoooooooooooooouuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrsssssss," Pippin whined. "Can't we rest?"
"No!" Frodo said. "And besides, we haven't been walking for hours, we've only been walking for 20 minutes!"
"Well it feels like hours," Pippin pouted.
"Awwww, oody boody," Frodo said.
But after a real two hours, they plopped down & went to sleep. Frodo woke up with a tree root digging into his back. He whined & muttered to himself about his beloved feather beds, then said all happy, "Wake up, hobbits! It's a beautiful morning!"
Pippin woke up. His hair was frightening- it was a wreck. "What's beautiful about it?" he grumbled. "I was havin' a nice dream that it was me & Diamond-oops."
"Keep going, little cuz," Frodo smirked. Pippin's mouth closed with an audiable SNAP.
"Saaa-aam," Frodo sang. "Where's the water?"
Sam mumbled in his sleep. "Oh, water? It's by the stream.."
"Thankyou," Frodo grinned.
"..Rosie."
Frodo and Pippin stared at the sleeping Sam as he finished his sentence. Then Frodo yelled, "I AIN'T NO ROSIE!" Which of course woke Sam up in nothing flat. "Huh? Wha? Hubbawha?" Sam said.
"Oyy.." Pippin moaned, grabbing his head.
So they FINALLY got their water & food and set off again. Pippin started whining when-gasp!-they heard a horse a-coming! So Frodo said, "Let's hide." SaM & pippin said, "Whyy?" Frodo said, "'Cause if it's Gandalf, we can jump out saying OOGABOOGABOOGA! Now hide!" So Sam & Pippin ran off, but Frodo ended up hiding somewhere else.
Clip clop. The horse came up. Frodo suddenly had the urge to wrap the Hamster around his finger. He drew It out of his pocket.
"Sniff sniff." It drew closer. The thing above was sniffing. Frodo saw it.. it had a black horse, & it itself looked.. Sorta like a Grim Reaper wannabe. But it was really very frightening.
"Sniff, sniff," it kept sniffing. "Drat, I NEED somethin' for my sinuses!" It finally rode away.
The hobbits crawled out of their hiding places. "What WAS that?" Pippin asked.
_*_*_-*_*_*_*__*
So what about this "Black Rider"? It turns out there are eight more, Nine in all. Earlier this was the scene at their place, called Minas Morgul, in Mordor. Sorry, but they are not giving out house number & zip code. Anyway...
Number One, the Witch King, was poring over a map. "Shire.. Shire.. Where in Middle-earth is this place?!" Number One screeched.
The other eight ran up. "What're you all doing here?" Number One asked.
"Sauron says we ALL have to go," grinned Number Five.
"No fair!" whined Number One. "Besides, I can't find this Shire place."
Number Three shook his head. "It's not Shire, it's Shire-Baggins! You heard what the ugly little bugger we tortured earlier said!"
"I wasn't there," Number One pouted. "What was the torture?"
"Watching Britney Spears music videos," Number Six grinned evilly.
"Ooh, that one ALWAYS works! And I missed it!" Number One sighed. "Oh well. OK, do any of you Smartie Nazgul"-he glared at Number Three-"know where this Shire-Baggins place is?"
The other eight shrugged. "We could always ask around," Number Nine said.
Number One glared at him. "And look stupid? No way, Hon," he said. "That might get me demoted." The other eight rolled their eyes. "Come ON, we'll ALL get demoted just sitting around here!" Number Seven whined.
So they set off. But they DID end up asking around, but in a creepy way 'cause they like to freak people out. Anyway, back to our hobbits!
_*_*_*_*_*_(
Frodo had told Sammie and Pip about the Rider and Pippin said, "Your talk of sniffing Riders with invisible noses has unsettled me." "Good, you need a good creeping out," Frodo smirked.
Then-gasp!-another Rider came up, and they hid. "Sniff. Sniff. Durn nose," it said. Then, there was singing. The Rider ran off.
"Those are the High Elves!" Frodo gasped.
"Are they speaking the name of Elbereth?" Sam asked.
"No," Frodo said.
"Then how do ya know they're High Elves?"
"Just 'cause. Come on, let's say hi!"
So they jumped out of the bushes and said, "Hi, High Elves!" That freaked 'em out a bit. Aaaanywayy, Gildor, this Elf guy, said, "Hi, midge-I mean, Hobbits!" Grin; grin. "Wanna stay the night with us?"
"Yea!" The hobbits yeaed. So they had a yummy dindin and-zzzz-a g'night's sleep. Frodo bugged Gildor about the Riders, and gave him confuzzling advice. Frodo shrugged at the end and said, "Um, OK, whatevah. G'night."
Gildor shrugged too. "G'night, ya weird li'l hobbit," he muttered.
*_*_*_*_*_*
The next morn, the Elves were gone, but they left food for the hobbits. Sam and Frodo ate, and Pippin already had earlier, and was running around singing like he was in The Sound of Music or something. Finally, they set off again. They skipped going to The Golden Perch, making Pip veeeeeeerrrrrryy sad. ;_; So they took a shortcut. They were almost to open land and Pip and Sam were singing when they heard a wailing cry.
They were creeped out. "There were words in that cry, though I dunno what ones. No beast or bird in the Shire calls like that," Frodo said.
"I heard the words," Sam said. "'Sale at Macy's!'"
They kept walking and came out to open land. OH NO! GASP! ANYTHING can see 'em now! Then they saw a farmhouse type place. "Oh, Farmer Maggot's place! Me an' Merry know 'im!" Pip said happily, But Frodo stopped short and whined, "Ohhhhhh nooooooooo!!! ANOTHER trouble!"
"Hubbawha? Wassa matter with ol' Maggot?" Pippin asked, cocking his head.
"Um, I used to steal 'shrooms (mushrooms) from him," Frodo said sheepishly.
"GASP!" (Pip & Sam.)
"And he got his dogs to chase me off."
"GASP!" (Sam & Pip.)
"And he told them to.. uh, I forget, I think, make me pay the next time I trespassed on his place."
"GASP!" (do I really need to tell you who says it?)
Pip finally said, "Well, just come on. Everything'll be OK." So they went to Farmer Maggot's.
The dogs came running out. Frodo went "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Grip, Fang, uhh.. You! Other dog! Heel!" Farmer Maggot called.
"Hey, Farmer Maggot! What's up?" Pippin said.
"The sky, young hobbit. Hey, it's Peregrin Took! How ya doin', eh?"
"I'm OK. This is, um, Sam Gamgee & Frodo Baggins," Pip said, and Frodo was sure he would be meat in two seconds. But he wasn't. Doi doi.
Farmer Maggot said, "Aw, heck, come on in! And, oh, I 'member you, Baggins. But not 'cause the 'shrooms. Some funny character came by askin' fer you. But I told 'im off before I called me dogs. Come on in fer supper."
So the hobbits came in to eat dindin with the Maggots. Ugh. Heck of a last name, ne? Anyways, then they set off for Crickhollow..
TBC