Identity Crisis
Chapter 7: A Dream Is Still Just A Dream
By Minako-chan
--------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. *sigh*
A.N.: Hello all! It's me again! I've finally written this
part (by hand). Thanks to everyone who's written me and
those who've read the fic! I hope you'd like this part...
hopefully it'll be concluded soon^_^;; For now it's still
moving at the same pace...e-mail me at cupid_teacup@hotmail.com
Arigato!
--------------------------------------------------------------
Usagi awoke to bright sunlight entering her room through the
gaps between her curtains. A smile was on her lips but she
never noticed.
"You look well today, Usagi." Luna walked into the room
slowly after waiting outside the door for an hour.
"What?" Usagi stretched and rubbed her eyes, which were no
longer red and puffy.
"You're smiling, and last night you looked like it was the
end of the world." Luna said, amused at Usagi's lack of
memory.
Luna's words brought Usagi back to reality and reminded her
the events that had taken place during the past few days and
emotions that had collapsed onto Usagi's heart. She let out
a soft gasp and brought her hand to her mouth.
"Don't tell me you already forgot, baka." Luna chuckled at
Usagi's shocked expression, then her tone softened. "Usagi,
I'm glad that you're fine again. The girls and I have been
very worried."
Usagi looked around the room desperately, then at the window.
The window was closed. Odd, she thought, I thought I'd left
it open. She ducked underneath the covers and her hands ran
over the soft bed sheet, searching for any trace of rose
petals. There was none. Luna watched her with amusement in
her eyes.
Breathing heavily, Usagi sat up in bed and closed her eyes,
inhaling deeply. Was it just her or was the scent of roses
still lingering in the air?
"Luna?" She breathed.
"Yes?" Luna raised an eyebrow. (A.N. Okay it's an imaginary
brow, okay? I suppose it's hard for a cat to raise an eyebrow...
but sheesh, cats in RL don't talk anyway^_~)
"Did...did someone come into my room last night?" Usagi
trembled slightly and crossed her fingers. She did not know
whether she wished Mamoru and Tuxedo Kamen were there or
not.
"No, I didn't hear anything at all. And you know I'm not a
heavy sleeper." Luna replied, puzzled. "Why do you ask?"
"It's just that...I-I smell roses. I thought maybe someone
brought them in for me..." Her voice trailed off as she
looked at the closed window.
Luna tilted her head and stifled a chuckle. "You're being
silly, Usagi, if anyone had brought in roses, you would at
least see them right now."
"But I---" Usagi protested.
"I think," Luna interrupted, "you've been thinking about
Tuxedo Kamen way too much. You were just dreaming, Usagi."
"Dreaming..." Usagi whispered. She could only nod. How
would Tuxedo Kamen know her real identity? How did Mamoru
get in her room? She rubbed her temples and closed her eyes.
But it had felt so real...
She brought her trembling fingers to her lips and shivered,
and definitely not from disgust.
Her lips still tingled.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Mamoru awoke almost at noon when the sun poured its light to
fill the darkness of his room. A smile was playing on his
lips. His eyes widened when he saw the time on his alarm
clock. Half a day was gone, and normally he would have
accomplished much by this hour.
He walked into the bathroom, slightly dazed from his newly-
found knowledge and feelings that had developed and surfaced
overtime.
Would she get it now? That the two men whom she claimed to
love were one and the same? Just like her and her alter ego?
And even though she might think it was all a dream, would
she still begin to suspect that he and Tuxedo Kamen shared
the same qualities - both physically and emotionally? He
looked into the mirror before splashing his face with cold
water.
He prayed that she would not dismiss the possibility and
move on. He prayed that she, too, would be ecstatic at the
idea of him being the masked hero, like how he felt when he
first found out about her identity. But one question still
remained...
Would she feel disappointed if and when she found out?
When the question arose in his mind once more, doubts returned.
The previous night he had had so much confidence. He was so
sure that when she put two and two together, they would live
happily ever after. He had been so occupied with sorting out
his own feelings that he had failed to think about how she
would feel.
He left the cold water running from the tap as he stared at
his own reflection.
--------------------------------------------------------------
A very tired Minako dragged a reluctant Usagi into the arcade.
"C'mon, Usagi-chan! What's wrong with you? I thought you love
this place!" Minako wailed as she continued to tug on Usagi's
sleeve.
"Only because I thought I love someone..." Usagi mumbled but
Minako was being too loud wailing that she had missed Usagi's
reply.
The bell above their heads announced their arrival as Minako
threw a radiant smile at Motoki as a greeting. A dark head
raised to acknowledge their presence and Usagi almost winced
seeing him.
He was about to drink his coffee, but the mug never reached
his lips. Usagi watched him as memories of their previous
encounters played in her mind. They gazed into each other's
eyes across the room for merely a few seconds, but the
gaze was so intense that it sent Usagi looking away and
Mamoru to put down his untouched drink abruptly. No one
seemed to have noticed except for the all-knowing Minako,
who nodded and smiled to herself.
How her heart ached at the sight of him. The messy hair
fell over the eyes that spoke more than a thousand words
to her when she entered the arcade. She could feel his
pain and loneliness and a raw emotion that made her look
the other way.
His heart leapt when he saw her coming in. For a moment,
hope soared when she looked at him with curious eyes.
Had she figured it out? Was she going to tell him how
she felt? Was she going to tell him that she loved
everything about Chiba Mamoru? But the minute he saw
her sleeve being tugged by her friend and the minute
she looked away, disappointment returned. Maybe she does
not even want to dwell on the possibility that he and
the hero are one man, he thought sadly.
As Minako dragged Usagi into a nearby booth, Usagi stole
a glance at Mamoru and blinked back tears. He had turned
away after looking at her, and was now fumbling in his
pockets for change to pay for his unfinished drink.
'Oh Mamoru...Mamo-chan...could you ever forgive me?' She
thought as she watched him leave. He paused at the door
and turned around to look at her again. She gasped and
quickly looked away. The pain in his eyes was overbearing.
He turned back and slipped out of the arcade.
Minako watched, amused. Usagi could never hide her
feelings, and they always showed in her eyes clearly when
her eyes fell upon Mamoru.
"Usagi-chan, the girls and I are very worried about you.
We've talked to Luna and frankly, they all thought I should
be the one to talk to you." Minako buffed her nails and
chuckled. "Since it -is- my department after all, ne?"
Usagi's eyes grew large.
Minako giggled. "I'll take that as a 'yes'. Usagi,"
her tone grew serious, "even a blind man can see what's
going on. It's not hard to figure out that you're in
love. We're worried about why you're so sad when love is
supposed to bring you the greatest joy."
Usagi stayed silent and nodded. She could not stop
thinking about the 'dream'. When Luna left the room, Usagi
had thought about the possibility of Mamoru being Tuxedo
Kamen. But how would he feel if he found out she was Sailor
Moon? He would be disappointed for sure, knowing that she
was nothing but a klutz who could barely pass school. With
that, she dismissed the idea. Besides, Mamoru couldn't
possibly be Tuxedo Kamen...or could he?
"Usagi-chan?" Minako waved a delicate hand in front of
Usagi's face.
When Usagi snapped out of her thoughts, a knowing, yet
sympathetic smile spread on Minako's lips.
"Remember that, Usagi-chan, love is supposed to bring joy."
She reached across the table and touched Usagi's hand lightly.
"Not if you feel love for two people." Usagi whispered as
tears welled up in her clouded eyes.
"What?" Minako was first shocked, but her expression became
one of understanding. "From what Luna's said and what we've
noticed, one of them has got to be Tuxedo Kamen."
Usagi blinked and a tear rolled down her cheek.
"And I have a good idea of who the other man might be..."
Minako grinned when Usagi turned pale with her mouth open.
"Mamoru-baka." Minako whispered and almost laugh had she not
seen the pain in Usagi's eyes.
"How...how did you know?" Usagi whispered back.
"Never question the Goddess of Love." Minako tossed her hair
and smiled. "The way you look at him tells me everything. And
may I add - he feels the same way about you too, am I right?"
Minako received a sob as an answer.
"Usagi-chan," Minako said softly, "I know this is hard for
you, to feel so strongly for two people. I know you are afraid
to hurt either one of them...but do you realize that you're
hurting yourself? You're not betraying either men by loving
them both. I understand that you want to love only one person
and give your heart to him completely, but you have to know
one thing."
Minako took a deep breath and paused. Usagi waited eagerly.
"Who do you love more?" Minako whispered.
At the sound of the question, Usagi could not help but
remember Mamoru asking her the very same thing. For a brief
moment, Minako's face was replaced by Mamoru's, and like the
answer that she had given Mamoru, she stayed silent and let
her tears fall, as Minako wrapped an arm around her.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Stay tuned for Chapter 8 (untitled as of this moment)
--------------------------------------------------------------
A.N.: Woohoo! Finally another part out^_~! I hope you've
enjoyed reading it. A small note to Arty: I do NOT always
make Usagi and Mamoru break up in my fics *giggles* All
fics, minus the original What Exactly Are We epilogue,
end happily! *humph* so there! Anyways, special thanks
to Usagi-chan, Bunny, Arty, Lelu, and everyone else who's
written me. You know who you are! And I'm grateful^_^
Please e-mail me at cupid_teacup@hotmail.com
Arigato!
Chapter 7: A Dream Is Still Just A Dream
By Minako-chan
--------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. *sigh*
A.N.: Hello all! It's me again! I've finally written this
part (by hand). Thanks to everyone who's written me and
those who've read the fic! I hope you'd like this part...
hopefully it'll be concluded soon^_^;; For now it's still
moving at the same pace...e-mail me at cupid_teacup@hotmail.com
Arigato!
--------------------------------------------------------------
Usagi awoke to bright sunlight entering her room through the
gaps between her curtains. A smile was on her lips but she
never noticed.
"You look well today, Usagi." Luna walked into the room
slowly after waiting outside the door for an hour.
"What?" Usagi stretched and rubbed her eyes, which were no
longer red and puffy.
"You're smiling, and last night you looked like it was the
end of the world." Luna said, amused at Usagi's lack of
memory.
Luna's words brought Usagi back to reality and reminded her
the events that had taken place during the past few days and
emotions that had collapsed onto Usagi's heart. She let out
a soft gasp and brought her hand to her mouth.
"Don't tell me you already forgot, baka." Luna chuckled at
Usagi's shocked expression, then her tone softened. "Usagi,
I'm glad that you're fine again. The girls and I have been
very worried."
Usagi looked around the room desperately, then at the window.
The window was closed. Odd, she thought, I thought I'd left
it open. She ducked underneath the covers and her hands ran
over the soft bed sheet, searching for any trace of rose
petals. There was none. Luna watched her with amusement in
her eyes.
Breathing heavily, Usagi sat up in bed and closed her eyes,
inhaling deeply. Was it just her or was the scent of roses
still lingering in the air?
"Luna?" She breathed.
"Yes?" Luna raised an eyebrow. (A.N. Okay it's an imaginary
brow, okay? I suppose it's hard for a cat to raise an eyebrow...
but sheesh, cats in RL don't talk anyway^_~)
"Did...did someone come into my room last night?" Usagi
trembled slightly and crossed her fingers. She did not know
whether she wished Mamoru and Tuxedo Kamen were there or
not.
"No, I didn't hear anything at all. And you know I'm not a
heavy sleeper." Luna replied, puzzled. "Why do you ask?"
"It's just that...I-I smell roses. I thought maybe someone
brought them in for me..." Her voice trailed off as she
looked at the closed window.
Luna tilted her head and stifled a chuckle. "You're being
silly, Usagi, if anyone had brought in roses, you would at
least see them right now."
"But I---" Usagi protested.
"I think," Luna interrupted, "you've been thinking about
Tuxedo Kamen way too much. You were just dreaming, Usagi."
"Dreaming..." Usagi whispered. She could only nod. How
would Tuxedo Kamen know her real identity? How did Mamoru
get in her room? She rubbed her temples and closed her eyes.
But it had felt so real...
She brought her trembling fingers to her lips and shivered,
and definitely not from disgust.
Her lips still tingled.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Mamoru awoke almost at noon when the sun poured its light to
fill the darkness of his room. A smile was playing on his
lips. His eyes widened when he saw the time on his alarm
clock. Half a day was gone, and normally he would have
accomplished much by this hour.
He walked into the bathroom, slightly dazed from his newly-
found knowledge and feelings that had developed and surfaced
overtime.
Would she get it now? That the two men whom she claimed to
love were one and the same? Just like her and her alter ego?
And even though she might think it was all a dream, would
she still begin to suspect that he and Tuxedo Kamen shared
the same qualities - both physically and emotionally? He
looked into the mirror before splashing his face with cold
water.
He prayed that she would not dismiss the possibility and
move on. He prayed that she, too, would be ecstatic at the
idea of him being the masked hero, like how he felt when he
first found out about her identity. But one question still
remained...
Would she feel disappointed if and when she found out?
When the question arose in his mind once more, doubts returned.
The previous night he had had so much confidence. He was so
sure that when she put two and two together, they would live
happily ever after. He had been so occupied with sorting out
his own feelings that he had failed to think about how she
would feel.
He left the cold water running from the tap as he stared at
his own reflection.
--------------------------------------------------------------
A very tired Minako dragged a reluctant Usagi into the arcade.
"C'mon, Usagi-chan! What's wrong with you? I thought you love
this place!" Minako wailed as she continued to tug on Usagi's
sleeve.
"Only because I thought I love someone..." Usagi mumbled but
Minako was being too loud wailing that she had missed Usagi's
reply.
The bell above their heads announced their arrival as Minako
threw a radiant smile at Motoki as a greeting. A dark head
raised to acknowledge their presence and Usagi almost winced
seeing him.
He was about to drink his coffee, but the mug never reached
his lips. Usagi watched him as memories of their previous
encounters played in her mind. They gazed into each other's
eyes across the room for merely a few seconds, but the
gaze was so intense that it sent Usagi looking away and
Mamoru to put down his untouched drink abruptly. No one
seemed to have noticed except for the all-knowing Minako,
who nodded and smiled to herself.
How her heart ached at the sight of him. The messy hair
fell over the eyes that spoke more than a thousand words
to her when she entered the arcade. She could feel his
pain and loneliness and a raw emotion that made her look
the other way.
His heart leapt when he saw her coming in. For a moment,
hope soared when she looked at him with curious eyes.
Had she figured it out? Was she going to tell him how
she felt? Was she going to tell him that she loved
everything about Chiba Mamoru? But the minute he saw
her sleeve being tugged by her friend and the minute
she looked away, disappointment returned. Maybe she does
not even want to dwell on the possibility that he and
the hero are one man, he thought sadly.
As Minako dragged Usagi into a nearby booth, Usagi stole
a glance at Mamoru and blinked back tears. He had turned
away after looking at her, and was now fumbling in his
pockets for change to pay for his unfinished drink.
'Oh Mamoru...Mamo-chan...could you ever forgive me?' She
thought as she watched him leave. He paused at the door
and turned around to look at her again. She gasped and
quickly looked away. The pain in his eyes was overbearing.
He turned back and slipped out of the arcade.
Minako watched, amused. Usagi could never hide her
feelings, and they always showed in her eyes clearly when
her eyes fell upon Mamoru.
"Usagi-chan, the girls and I are very worried about you.
We've talked to Luna and frankly, they all thought I should
be the one to talk to you." Minako buffed her nails and
chuckled. "Since it -is- my department after all, ne?"
Usagi's eyes grew large.
Minako giggled. "I'll take that as a 'yes'. Usagi,"
her tone grew serious, "even a blind man can see what's
going on. It's not hard to figure out that you're in
love. We're worried about why you're so sad when love is
supposed to bring you the greatest joy."
Usagi stayed silent and nodded. She could not stop
thinking about the 'dream'. When Luna left the room, Usagi
had thought about the possibility of Mamoru being Tuxedo
Kamen. But how would he feel if he found out she was Sailor
Moon? He would be disappointed for sure, knowing that she
was nothing but a klutz who could barely pass school. With
that, she dismissed the idea. Besides, Mamoru couldn't
possibly be Tuxedo Kamen...or could he?
"Usagi-chan?" Minako waved a delicate hand in front of
Usagi's face.
When Usagi snapped out of her thoughts, a knowing, yet
sympathetic smile spread on Minako's lips.
"Remember that, Usagi-chan, love is supposed to bring joy."
She reached across the table and touched Usagi's hand lightly.
"Not if you feel love for two people." Usagi whispered as
tears welled up in her clouded eyes.
"What?" Minako was first shocked, but her expression became
one of understanding. "From what Luna's said and what we've
noticed, one of them has got to be Tuxedo Kamen."
Usagi blinked and a tear rolled down her cheek.
"And I have a good idea of who the other man might be..."
Minako grinned when Usagi turned pale with her mouth open.
"Mamoru-baka." Minako whispered and almost laugh had she not
seen the pain in Usagi's eyes.
"How...how did you know?" Usagi whispered back.
"Never question the Goddess of Love." Minako tossed her hair
and smiled. "The way you look at him tells me everything. And
may I add - he feels the same way about you too, am I right?"
Minako received a sob as an answer.
"Usagi-chan," Minako said softly, "I know this is hard for
you, to feel so strongly for two people. I know you are afraid
to hurt either one of them...but do you realize that you're
hurting yourself? You're not betraying either men by loving
them both. I understand that you want to love only one person
and give your heart to him completely, but you have to know
one thing."
Minako took a deep breath and paused. Usagi waited eagerly.
"Who do you love more?" Minako whispered.
At the sound of the question, Usagi could not help but
remember Mamoru asking her the very same thing. For a brief
moment, Minako's face was replaced by Mamoru's, and like the
answer that she had given Mamoru, she stayed silent and let
her tears fall, as Minako wrapped an arm around her.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Stay tuned for Chapter 8 (untitled as of this moment)
--------------------------------------------------------------
A.N.: Woohoo! Finally another part out^_~! I hope you've
enjoyed reading it. A small note to Arty: I do NOT always
make Usagi and Mamoru break up in my fics *giggles* All
fics, minus the original What Exactly Are We epilogue,
end happily! *humph* so there! Anyways, special thanks
to Usagi-chan, Bunny, Arty, Lelu, and everyone else who's
written me. You know who you are! And I'm grateful^_^
Please e-mail me at cupid_teacup@hotmail.com
Arigato!