Miss You
Series: The Written Word
Author: dword Rating: G
(sequel to Return to Sender)
Spoilers: Tabula Rasa
Disclaimer: Joss, UPN, Fox, Mutant Enemy, etc own all, I own nothing (even my car belongs to the bank) I'm just borrowing...
Dedication: To Tammy for watching Buffy (and getting hooked) just cuz she liked my fic. To all the BG Nuts. To ??? who told me not to dedicate to her anymore ;p
Distribution: To Gabi, Dee, theLIST. Anyone else just let me know.
Dear Giles,
Anya and I just wanted to let you know that what you wrote, your praise and encouragement, meant a lot. The words were great but the man would have been better. I know how you don't do PDA's, but consider yourself hugged. Anya wants you to know that she is really going to try that patience thing (her words).
I took your advice and sat down with Anya. We discussed my 'jittery' feelings towards the wedding. Seems she has 'jittery' feelings too. That's why she was pushing so hard. We are going to slow down and not rush the marriage part of our relationship. We know we love each other. Now we are going to get comfortable with the idea of spending the rest of our lives together, and all that entails before we jump right to it.
Okay, enough about us. We really wanted to ask you about some disturbing signals we picked up on in your letters. Even though you said you would come back to walk Anya down the aisle we both got the idea that you were saying goodbye. The way you asked us to protect and care for Buffy and Dawn had a very final ring to it. Like you are never coming back. Please tell me I'm wrong. Anya and I will do our best to watch over them but when you come right down to it, we are not what they need. We aren't you. Just like with me you have been more of a father to Dawn than her * real * one. And well, I may have loved Buffy as long (or maybe longer) as you but I can never love her so completely and so unselfishly as you have. You have loved her without judgement, unconditionally, and wholeheartedly. It may have started out as a Slayer/Watcher thing but it is so much more. That is why I don't understand why you said you * had * to leave. She needs you Giles. She is trying so hard to be the person you said she could be, the person you said you want her to be - to make you proud. But she is missing something, like there is an emptiness inside her.There is something missing from all of our lives Giles. You.
We all really miss you.
Love,
Xander
*-*-*-*-*-*
Dear Giles,
I don't know what you said to Willow in your letter, but for the first time in a long time I am optimistic about her future. A few days after I received your letter she called me. We met and spent a long time talking. Really talking. She admitted that she had a problem and wanted to do something about it. She asked for my help and the help of the others. She apologized, sincerely, not just because that was what she thought I wanted to hear. We aren't back together but that possibility now truly exists. We would like to try therapy and I was wondering if you could recommend someone that understands our situation (you know... magic, vampires, demons, etc). We would prefer to talk to you but since you are gone we will settle for someone you suggest.
We miss you and love you.
Tara
*-*-*-*-*-*
Dear Giles,
Wow! Thank you! I never really understood how much you cared for us. I mean, I knew that you cared but I thought it was mostly because we were Buffy's friends. But now I see that we as individuals meant a lot to you. I am overwhelmed by the amount of trust and caring you give to me by allowing me to see your journals By opening yourself to me you have gifted me with a strength and understanding I didn't have before. Reading about your struggles and your pain has opened my eyes enough to recognize that path you feared I was treading.
The use of Dark Magic is an addiction. I see that now. I have talked to Tara. I have been completely honest with her for the first time in a long time. Next I'm going to talk to Xander and Buffy. With everyone's help, I am sure I can learn to control this. And when it gets tough, I'll imagine your sweet encouraging smile (although the real thing would be better). I am sorry I behaved so badly. I'll do better and make you proud.
Love,
Willow
*-*-*-*-*-*
Giles!!!
I can't believe that you wrote that! * Peanut * Geez, how old was I when you started calling me that? LIKE 9!!! Just because I ate myself sick on those darn marshmallow peanuts when you took me to the circus the first time Dad forgot my birthday. Sheesh! Giles I'm not a kid anymore!!! Well okay, maybe you can call me Peanut. Just you. And try not to call me that in front of anyone. I love you Giles and that is still one of the best days I ever had. Just you and me and the circus, you not being reserved guy, being silly for me to make up for my buttheaded Dad...
Oops. Buffy just got home. I'm gonna give her your letter. I'll be back later to finish this...
*********
What did you write her? She cried the whole time she read it. First she got this big old smile on her face and she just sat there tracing her fingers over your handwriting. Then finally she started to read and started to cry. When she was done she just went up to her room. She wouldn't talk to me. Oh God, she playing that song again. She plays it all the time. Do you know this one?
* All at once
*I finally took a moment and I'm realizing that
*You're not coming back
*And it finally hit me all at once
*All at once
*I started counting teardrops and at least a million fell
*My eyes began to swell
*And all my dreams were shattered all at once
*Ever since I met you
*You're the only love I've known
*And I can't forget you
*Though I must face it on my own
*All at once I'm drifting on a lonely sea
*Wishing you'd come back to me
*And that's all that matters now
*All at once I'm drifting on a lonely sea
*Holding on to memories
*And it hurts me more than you know
*So much more than it shows
*All at once
Oh man, Giles, writing the words out for you... I finally get it. I know why she cries, I know cuz I want to join her. You're never coming home are you? Why? How could you? What did we do that was so horrible that you never want to see us again, that you would leave your slayer Watcherless?
Do the others know? I don't understand. I thought you were different. I thought you loved me. And I really thought you loved her. WHY???
Dawn Summers
END
Series: The Written Word
Author: dword Rating: G
(sequel to Return to Sender)
Spoilers: Tabula Rasa
Disclaimer: Joss, UPN, Fox, Mutant Enemy, etc own all, I own nothing (even my car belongs to the bank) I'm just borrowing...
Dedication: To Tammy for watching Buffy (and getting hooked) just cuz she liked my fic. To all the BG Nuts. To ??? who told me not to dedicate to her anymore ;p
Distribution: To Gabi, Dee, theLIST. Anyone else just let me know.
Dear Giles,
Anya and I just wanted to let you know that what you wrote, your praise and encouragement, meant a lot. The words were great but the man would have been better. I know how you don't do PDA's, but consider yourself hugged. Anya wants you to know that she is really going to try that patience thing (her words).
I took your advice and sat down with Anya. We discussed my 'jittery' feelings towards the wedding. Seems she has 'jittery' feelings too. That's why she was pushing so hard. We are going to slow down and not rush the marriage part of our relationship. We know we love each other. Now we are going to get comfortable with the idea of spending the rest of our lives together, and all that entails before we jump right to it.
Okay, enough about us. We really wanted to ask you about some disturbing signals we picked up on in your letters. Even though you said you would come back to walk Anya down the aisle we both got the idea that you were saying goodbye. The way you asked us to protect and care for Buffy and Dawn had a very final ring to it. Like you are never coming back. Please tell me I'm wrong. Anya and I will do our best to watch over them but when you come right down to it, we are not what they need. We aren't you. Just like with me you have been more of a father to Dawn than her * real * one. And well, I may have loved Buffy as long (or maybe longer) as you but I can never love her so completely and so unselfishly as you have. You have loved her without judgement, unconditionally, and wholeheartedly. It may have started out as a Slayer/Watcher thing but it is so much more. That is why I don't understand why you said you * had * to leave. She needs you Giles. She is trying so hard to be the person you said she could be, the person you said you want her to be - to make you proud. But she is missing something, like there is an emptiness inside her.There is something missing from all of our lives Giles. You.
We all really miss you.
Love,
Xander
*-*-*-*-*-*
Dear Giles,
I don't know what you said to Willow in your letter, but for the first time in a long time I am optimistic about her future. A few days after I received your letter she called me. We met and spent a long time talking. Really talking. She admitted that she had a problem and wanted to do something about it. She asked for my help and the help of the others. She apologized, sincerely, not just because that was what she thought I wanted to hear. We aren't back together but that possibility now truly exists. We would like to try therapy and I was wondering if you could recommend someone that understands our situation (you know... magic, vampires, demons, etc). We would prefer to talk to you but since you are gone we will settle for someone you suggest.
We miss you and love you.
Tara
*-*-*-*-*-*
Dear Giles,
Wow! Thank you! I never really understood how much you cared for us. I mean, I knew that you cared but I thought it was mostly because we were Buffy's friends. But now I see that we as individuals meant a lot to you. I am overwhelmed by the amount of trust and caring you give to me by allowing me to see your journals By opening yourself to me you have gifted me with a strength and understanding I didn't have before. Reading about your struggles and your pain has opened my eyes enough to recognize that path you feared I was treading.
The use of Dark Magic is an addiction. I see that now. I have talked to Tara. I have been completely honest with her for the first time in a long time. Next I'm going to talk to Xander and Buffy. With everyone's help, I am sure I can learn to control this. And when it gets tough, I'll imagine your sweet encouraging smile (although the real thing would be better). I am sorry I behaved so badly. I'll do better and make you proud.
Love,
Willow
*-*-*-*-*-*
Giles!!!
I can't believe that you wrote that! * Peanut * Geez, how old was I when you started calling me that? LIKE 9!!! Just because I ate myself sick on those darn marshmallow peanuts when you took me to the circus the first time Dad forgot my birthday. Sheesh! Giles I'm not a kid anymore!!! Well okay, maybe you can call me Peanut. Just you. And try not to call me that in front of anyone. I love you Giles and that is still one of the best days I ever had. Just you and me and the circus, you not being reserved guy, being silly for me to make up for my buttheaded Dad...
Oops. Buffy just got home. I'm gonna give her your letter. I'll be back later to finish this...
*********
What did you write her? She cried the whole time she read it. First she got this big old smile on her face and she just sat there tracing her fingers over your handwriting. Then finally she started to read and started to cry. When she was done she just went up to her room. She wouldn't talk to me. Oh God, she playing that song again. She plays it all the time. Do you know this one?
* All at once
*I finally took a moment and I'm realizing that
*You're not coming back
*And it finally hit me all at once
*All at once
*I started counting teardrops and at least a million fell
*My eyes began to swell
*And all my dreams were shattered all at once
*Ever since I met you
*You're the only love I've known
*And I can't forget you
*Though I must face it on my own
*All at once I'm drifting on a lonely sea
*Wishing you'd come back to me
*And that's all that matters now
*All at once I'm drifting on a lonely sea
*Holding on to memories
*And it hurts me more than you know
*So much more than it shows
*All at once
Oh man, Giles, writing the words out for you... I finally get it. I know why she cries, I know cuz I want to join her. You're never coming home are you? Why? How could you? What did we do that was so horrible that you never want to see us again, that you would leave your slayer Watcherless?
Do the others know? I don't understand. I thought you were different. I thought you loved me. And I really thought you loved her. WHY???
Dawn Summers
END