Here's the 4th chapter out of 5. If you must have happy endings, you should probably turn back now. Anyway, I know it's been awhile, but this musical stuff is hard. And I am extremely guilty of starting more than 1 fic at a time. I'll work hard to get the last chapter out soon, so this will be out of the way and I can concentrate on my other fics, mainly Hidden in the Sky. Enjoy Chapter 4!
Chapter 4
When we met light was shed
Thoughts free flow you said you've got
Something, deep inside of you
A wind chime voice sounds
Sway of your hips round rings true
It goes deep inside of you
These secret garden beams
Changed my life so it seems
The fall breeze blows outside
I don't break stride
My thoughts are warm
And they go deep inside of you
The clock on the radio showed the time of the night, and kept track of how long he had been watching her sleep. The highway was abandoned, and he couldn't help but glance her way every few seconds. She was beautiful, no doubt about it. She was curled up in the passenger seat, Joey's coat draped over her for a blanket, with her head resting against the window, and Joey couldn't help but wonder how she stayed asleep with the constant bumps and turns of the highway they were traveling.
Friends say I've changed I don't listen
Cause I live to be
Deep inside of you
Slide of…
Joey changed the radio station. It wasn't the type of song he wanted to hear at the moment. He wasn't sure where he and Rachel were. She didn't seem to want to tell him anything, and he didn't know if that was good or bad. He tried his best to read her feelings, but he never could. He wasn't that close to her yet. She wouldn't let him be.
He turned his attention back to mother, and all the obstacles he was going to face in the next few days. The funeral, taking care of his sisters, the millions of things he would have to take care of during the next few days. He hoped Rach would stay with him for the next few days, but knew that she probably couldn't. She had a job, and a life of her own to take care of, she didn't have the time to waste a few days with him…
He sighed, somehow, once again, his thoughts had drifted back to her.
Love sure was tricky.
He took a deep breath, and fought back the tears that were threatening his eyes, as Rachel looked on through a half open eyelid.
*******
Ross Gellar had never woken up happier. Lying there, in the comforts of his arms, was the woman he was sure was the love of his life. His eyes fell over her body, and a smile crossed over his face. He could watch her sleeping for hours on end, mesmerized by beauty, dazzled by the peaceful motion of her chest moving in and out. Last night had been amazing. They both admitted they were in love, and agreed not to let anyone, or anything, stand in their way.
Ross smiled as her eyes started to flutter, and she slowly escaped her night of sleeping. Once awake, she noticed him staring down at her, and she returned the smile. She had never felt as safe as she did when he held her like he was, and if she had her way, she would never leave. "Good morning." She smiled up at him, not surprised that he was up before her. She knew how much he enjoyed watching her sleep. "How long have you been up?"
"Not long." He ran a finger gently across her cheek, pushing an astray piece of blonde hair back behind her ear. "You know I'm the happiest man in the world right now."
She just smiled, she knew the feeling. "And why are you so happy?"
"I'm lying in bed with the perfect woman." He began placing a series of kisses along her cheek and neck, knowing that his fun was about to end, because she had to work.
"Ross…" She squirmed a little and let out a slight moan, and then a giggle. "I have to work."
"No you don't. The perfect woman doesn't have to work." He smiled and continued his antics, hoping desperately that she would change her mind about going to work.
"Well then that's not me you're talking about. So, who is this perfect woman?" She smiled, and pushed him off of her. She really needed to get ready to work. Not only did she have several clients, but she also had a shift at the coffeehouse.
"This perfect woman? Wow…she's amazing…" Ross sighed and gazed back at her.
She don't care about my car, and she don't care about my money
And that's real good cause I don't got a lot to spend
But if I did, it wouldn't mean nothin'
She likes me for me!
Not because I look like Tyson Beckford
With the charm of Robert Redford oozing out my ears
But what she sees
Are my faults and indecision's
My insecure conditions
And the tears upon the pillow that I shed
Ross stood up on the bed, and began jumping around, his feet just narrowly missing her every time he bounced, causing her to break out laughing as she watched him hopping and singing in his undergarments.
She don't care about my big screen
Or my collection of DVD's
Things like that just never mattered much to her
Plus she don't watch too much TV
Ross jumped off the bed, landing on the wooden floor of his uncarpeted bedroom. He reached his hands down for Phoebe's, trying to pull her out of the bed, but she didn't seem to want to move.
And she don't care that I can fly her
To places she ain't never been
But if she really wants to go I think deep down she knows that
All she has to say is when
He finally pulled her off the bed, spinning her around in a fake little dance, twirling the last remnants of sleep from their bodies.
She likes me for me
Not because I hang with Leonardo
Or that guy who played in 'Fargo'
I think his name is Steve
She's the one for me
And I just can't live without her
My arms belong around her
And I'm so glad I found her once again…
They danced their way into the living room. Smiling and laughing and singing. Enjoying the great feeling that accompanies being in love.
Until Phoebe had to work.
************
Nic paced back in forth in the living room, anxiously awaiting Chandler. She wasn't sure what she was going to tell him. It didn't take her long to figure out what Monica had assumed, and she felt absolutely horrible for it. She should have figured out what was happening sooner, but it wasn't until after she left that she noticed how bad everything she said must have sounded to Monica.
Finally, Chandler emerged from his bedroom, looking hungover as ever. His hair was a mess, his eyes were squinted, and his clothes were wrinkled from an obvious night of tossing and turning alone in their bedroom. "Chandler!" The sudden voice made Chandler jump, and then hold his aching head in pain.
"Ah! No yelling."
"Your wife came by here this morning." That caught his attention. He instantly wondered how she knew he had a wife. He wasn't expecting Monica home until later that day, so he instantly considered her being home early as good news, and a smile crossed his face.
"Where is she now?"
"I think she may have gotten the idea that we slept together last night. She left pretty mad early this morning." His smile fell. What had happened while he was asleep? His mind began counting down all the places she could possibly be, Central Perk, Ross', her parents…or maybe she was just over at Joey and Rachel's place.
"What happened? What did you say to her?" Chandler was already looking for his shoes and coat, not caring that he was in his pajamas. He was going to find his wife, and he was going to fix their problems once and for all.
"She just came in this morning, and started asking questions. I didn't say that we slept together, I just think she assumed it from some of the things I said. I didn't know she was your wife Chandler, I'm sorry, you just never mentioned you were married." Nic sank down in a chair at the kitchen table. She truly felt horrible for what had happened, she didn't want to be the cause of anyone's fights. "I'm sorry. I guess I should get ready for work." She didn't meet his gaze and she walked into the guest bedroom and shut the door behind her.
Chandler ran a hand through his hair as he debated what to do, but he already knew the answer. He had to find Monica, and he had to fix his marriage.
After throwing on the shoes and coat he had grabbed, he took his keys and headed out the door of the apartment they shared.
*****
Rachel and Joey had finally arrived at his parent's house, not surprised to fine the whole Tribbiani clan already packed inside. The two of them made their way from relative to relative, talking and grieving together, before moving on to the next family member. Joey was glad Rachel stuck by his side, he needed that someone to lean on. And he also knew Rach was glad he was there with her, because she would be devoured if left alone in a room full of Tribiannis she didn't know. They worked so fast that she could get impregnated while Joey went to the restroom.
After two long hours of hugs and reminiscing, it was time for Joey to meet with the funeral director, the part of the day he had been dreading since he heard the news. He understood that his Mom was gone, and that she wasn't coming back, but he knew he wasn't ready to pick out her casket, or what dress she would wear, or how her arms should be crossed…
But Joey also knew that no one else could do it. It had to be him, he had to be the strong one for everybody, and he was feeling that weight growing on his shoulders as the time of the meeting drew closer and closer. Joey walked into the living room of his old house, Rachel by his side, and waited for that dreaded knock on the door. They sat in silence waiting, Rachel knew no words were going to comfort him at that moment, so she did all she could by being there next to him. Then the knock finally came.
Rachel got up and opened the door, greeting the man and introducing him to Joey. After the formalities, she excused herself to the kitchen, giving Joey the privacy he would need to make all the difficult decisions that faced him.
As she entered the kitchen, she was surprised to find only want Tribbiani in the room, Joey's father. "Hey Mr. Trib."
"Hey Rachel." He eating a sandwich, staring out the window. She knew it killed him that Joey was taking care of everything. He wanted to be the man of the house, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to accept the fact that his wife was dead. Their marriage was no where close to perfect, but he did love his wife. She was his soulmate. And he had lost her.
"You're going to be fine. It's always hard at first." Rachel commented as she took a seat at the table beside him, popping the top on her diet coke.
"I know. It's just hard. No one here to lean on…That's why I'm happy for Joey, he's got you there to lean on."
"Well, Mr. Trib, Joey and me don't have a bond quite as strong as you and Mrs. Trib did." Rachel leaned back in her chair. She wanted to cheer him up, but all he seemed to want to do was depress her, and force her to think about things she didn't want to.
"Not yet. But I've seen the way my son looks at you. And I've definitely heard how well he speaks of you." He laughed a little, he didn't believe for a second that this girl didn't know how much his son loved her. The Joey he knew was never very good at hiding his feelings. "You're definitely his favorite Rachel."
Rachel sighed and looked away. She didn't want this trip to be about her and Joey, but everywhere she went the topic seemed to come up. "He's my favorite too."
********
Phoebe was too busy hearing the recount of last night's events from Nic to care at all about the waiting customers. Monica and Chandler were her friends, and she loved them dearly, so any hardship they felt, she felt too. She knew how in they love were, and fully expected everything to be okay in the end. It always was. It worked for her and Ross.
Ross…she would be getting home to him in a few hours. She knew they weren't going to go anywhere special to eat or to see a movie…they would do what they enjoyed more than anything else…lay around inside and hold each other. And after hearing the problems everyone was having in their love lives, she was only happier to have finally gotten things worked out and settled with Ross.
She glanced at the clock. Only a few more hours…
Only a few more hours till heaven on earth…
**********
The cab slammed to a halt in front of the familiar restaurant, and Chandler Bing simply threw a fifty dollar bill to the driver before quickly exiting the car. He had searched for her for hours, and this was the only place left. He hadn't planned what he was going to say yet, but he was hoping it would come to him soon, because he was sure she was inside the doors in front of him.
He pushed the doors open and walked into the restaurant, walking passed the waiter up front and heading right towards the kitchen, where he knew she would be. As he pushed the swinging metal door open, he was surprised to see that she indeed wasn't there. He ran a hand through his hair, unsure of what to do next, when a voice was heard behind him. "She's outside."
He didn't turn to see who it was, he simply headed for the back door of the restaurant, and walked outside, immediately spotting his wife leaning against the side of the building, faded tear streaks obvious on her face.
"Monica?" He took a step towards her, his hand instinctively reaching out to grab her and pull her close, but she took a step away from him. Her eyes never left the ground below her, and her hands were stuffed deep in the pockets of her white chef's top. "Mon, nothing happened with that girl. She's the new coffeehouse manager, she only stayed the night because she worked late and she lives far away. She stayed in the guest room."
He took a step closer, and again she took a step away. "Mon, look at me. You know I'm telling you the truth."
"I know." She still didn't look at him. Her voice was shaky, and her hands seemed to be trembling.
"Monica…you have to tell me what the problem is. I can't fix what I don't know is broken. I love you…now just help me understand what your feeling."
Monica took even another step away from her husband, before finally having the courage to look him in the eye.
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, Confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling, I can't seem
To find myself again, my walls are closin' in
Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced it's just too much pressure to take
I've felt this way before, so insecure
Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall, Confusing what is real
Discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting, Reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting, How I can't seem
To find myself again, my walls are closin' in
Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced it's just too much pressure to take
I've felt this way before, so insecure…
Before she could continue, Chandler shouting her name, "Monica!" interrupted her. She pulled her gaze away from his, and stared up at the sky, looking at anything but Chandler. "Mon, you've gotta be more simple than this. Just spell it out for me, and answer my question. Why do I feel like you don't love me anymore?"
"Because I'm not sure that I do Chandler."
Everything in his world seemed to stop. The clouds stopped moving in the sky, the leaves on the trees no longer blew in the wind, and Chandler's heart had seemed to stop beating. He didn't know how he managed to get out his next word…"What?"
"I'm sorry Chandler. I really am. But I just don't think you're what I want anymore."
He could feel his whole body begin to tremble. He felt like he would be physically sick. His whole world had just come crashing down. The love of his life, the one person he lived for, his wife and his best friend, was in the middle of kicking him out of her life. And all the sudden he had forgotten how to breathe. "Mon…" he managed to choke out, "what are you talking about? You're my wife, we're in love. You can't just fall out of love in a matter of days."
"Then how come I did?"
Chandler's world started to darken, and before he knew it, he fainted, landed hard on the concrete alley below them.
**********
The cab pulled up in front of Ross' apartment building, and she paid the driver. It had been a fairly long day, and she was ready for a nice relaxing evening. Nic had helped relieve some of the work load, but the story she told about Monica and Chandler weighed on Phoebe's mind throughout the day. She had been getting bad feelings about them for awhile, and she got the horrible sense that something awful was on the horizon for them.
She tried to push it all from her mind as she worked her way towards Ross' apartment. She found herself spending so much time there lately, she was beginning to wonder what need she had for her apartment. As she pushed opened the familiar front door, her breath was taken away. The lights inside the apartment were down low, and hundreds of candles lit the apartment. Everywhere she looked she saw candles and pictures. Pictures of her, of him, of their friends, of their life together.
She took a few steps inside, and slowly closed the door behind her. Her eyes ran over a few pictures by the door. The first was of her when she was pregnant with the triplets, she was standing in between Frank and Alice, smiling wide. The next was of Ross and her, taken in the park one day they had all went out together. Ross was pointing upwards, obviously explaining something to her.
"Hey." She turned her head towards the voice. It was Ross, dressed in a simple white T-shirt and jeans. "It's quite a history we all have. The memories have all been great. I wouldn't trade in the last ten years for anything." He took a step towards her and glanced over the pictures we had been looking at. "But, the truth is Pheebs, I'm just as excited about the next ten years as I am happy about the last ten, because I want to spend the next ten with you. Only you."
He smiled, "So I set this all up, to remind you how great our lives have been, but also to tell you that our future can be even better, if you and I are together. And that's all I want Phoebe. Look at me," he motioned down at his lack of proper attire, "No suit, no tie, no hair gel." He smiled as she laughed a little. "It's just me. And that's the perfect picture. Just me." His left hand moved to brush a stray piece of hair off of her cheek. "Just you." He brought his right hand to her stomach, and gently placed it over her pregnant belly. "And just her. Life can be perfect. I promise you."
When the visions around you
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surrounds you
Are secrets and lies,
I'll be your strength, I'll give you hope
Keepin' your faith when it's gone
The one you should call, has been standing here
All along
And I will take you in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through,
This I Promise You
This I Promise You
He took her hand and led her farther into the apartment, slowly glancing over every picture they passed, the memories and recollections instantly coming back to them both.
I've loved you forever
And a lifetimes before
And I promise you never
Will you hurt anymore
I give you my word, I give you my heart
This is a battle we've won
Ending this bout, forever has now
Begun
Just close your eyes each loving day
And know this feeling won't go away
Till the day my life is through
This I Promise You
This I Promise You
Finally, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her body against his, bringing their eyes together.
Over and over I fall
When I hear you call
Without you, in my life baby
I just wouldn't believe it at all
Phoebe felt his hands move on her back, and watched in curiosity as he pulled his right arm out from behind her waist, revealing a small black velvet box.
And I will take you in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through,
This I Promise You
Just close your eyes each loving day
And know this feeling won't go away
Every word I say is true
This I Promise You
Every word I say is true
This I Promise You
"Phoebe Buffay…will you marry me?"
**********
It had been hours since the funeral director left, and Rachel still hadn't found Joey. His dad told her he took off right after he left, saying he needed to be alone for awhile. Rachel glanced over Joey's childhood neighborhood from her place alone on his front porch. She took a step on one of the stairs, and breathed in the cool crisp night air. She was slightly frustrated. Since talking to his father, all she wanted to do was see Joey, but now, he had disappeared on her.
She was startled by one of his sister's walking onto the porch. "Hey…" Rachel didn't finish the phrase, when it occurred to her she didn't know which one it was. "Have you seen Joey?"
"Yeah, I ran into him earlier. He said he was going up to the hill." It was the tough sister. As she got closer, Rachel could make out her leather jacket, and the edge of her voice only added to the image.
Rachel wasn't sure how to carry on a conversation with her, or if she should even try. "Um, where exactly is this hill?" Rachel stood up and brushed out the wrinkles in her slacks. She was tired of waiting for him to come to her, so she would go to him.
"End of the street, take a right up the alley, straight down it you'll find the hill, and Joey." She winked and walked inside the house. Rachel smiled, she seemed pretty friendly for someone who shot her husband.
Rachel walked off the porch and followed the girl's direction to where Joey was supposed to be. She smiled to herself as she walked down the street, taking in the bicycles that sat in the yards, the basketball goals in the driveways, the grills next to all the houses…Joey must have loved his childhood. It was the perfect place to raise children. Even ten of them.
As she approached the end of the alley, she saw his silhouette on the top of the hill. Carefully, she worked her way up the grassy slant, not wanting to fall or trip. She reached the top, out of breath, and smiled over at Joey, who smiled back. "Geeze Rach, I thought you were never going to get up that hill."
She gasped in fake anger, "You saw me struggling and you didn't help me? Joey Tribbiani I am shocked and appalled at your behavior." She smiled and sat down next to him on the blanket. She saw a picnic basket on the other side of him and laughed, "Having a picnic by yourself?"
He glanced to see what she was talking about, and smirked when he realized it. "Well I thought I might get hungry. And could you imagine how cranky I would be if I was depressed and hungry at the same time?"
She smiled, "See, I knew something was off when you were gone for hours and you didn't come back for food." She leaned back on her elbows, only then realizing how beautiful the view was. The hill looked over a small, wave-less lake. The moonlight shot a bright line down the middle of lake, and the glow from fishermen's lanterns could be seen all around the edges of it.
He sighed, "Sorry about leaving you like that. I just had to get out of there. It was all getting to be too much…" He scratched the back of his head. "Sometimes you just have to be alone. That's the only way to really clear your head."
"It's ok Joey. But…I have to tell you that…sitting at your house, waiting for you…it got me thinking." She took a deep breath and forced herself to look him in the eyes. "I was sitting there, by myself, waiting for you to come home. And all I wanted to do was talk to you, and just be beside you…but you weren't there. And it hit me. I could spend the rest of my life feeling that same way. Because sooner or later Joey, you're going to find someone else, and you're going to fall in love, and they're going to become the most important person in your life. And I'll be at home, sitting, waiting, and hating myself, because it'll all be my fault.
"I don't want to lose you Joey. But it's not just that. It isn't me not wanting you to be with someone else…It's just me, wanting you to be with me. I know, that I've broken your heart more than once recently Joey and I am sorry. But I've been scared. The last time I fell in love with a friend was with Ross, and you were there to see how that ended…And you and me Joey…this bond, this connection…it's so much bigger than that was…I don't know if I could handle losing that.
"But now I know that I don't want to spend the rest of my life knowing that we never tried. I don't want to spend the rest of my life content that I played it safe. I don't want to spent the rest my life without you, and I definitely do not want to spend the rest of my life angry at myself for not telling you how thankful I am that you loved me."
"Rach…" She shook her head to quiet him, and slowly leaned forward, letting her quivering lips embrace his, steadying her.
She had her eyes closed as tight as they would get, afraid that if she opened them he wouldn't be there anymore. But when she did, he was there, and he was smiling. She ran a hand through her hair. "Joey…"
It's hard for me, to say the things,
I wanna say sometimes
There's no one here, but you and me
And a broken old street light
Lock the doors, leave the world outside
All I've got, to give to you
Are these five words tonight
Thank You, For Loving Me
For being my eyes, when I couldn't see
For parting my lips, when I couldn't breathe
Thank You, For Loving Me
Thank You, For Loving Me
His lips found hers again, as his hands found her waist, pulling her against him. As they parted, Joey brought a finger to her lips, keeping her silent. He gently lowered her down onto the blanket.
I never knew, I had a dream
Until that dream that was you
And when I look, into your eyes
The sky's a different blue
Cross my heart, I wear no disguise
And if I tried, you'd make believe
That you believed my lies
Thank You, For Loving Me
For being my eyes, when I couldn't see
For parting my lips, when I couldn't breathe
Thank You, For Loving Me
His body fell gently over hers, his eyes never breaking their gaze. They were both lost in the moment, lost in each other. Even though they were outside, the rest of the world was shut out, and it was just the two of them, and their song.
You pick me up when I fall down
You ring the bell before they count me out
If I was drowning you would part the sea
And use your love to rescue me
Rachel smiled as Joey removed his shirt. Things were finally right in their lives. They had been together before…but in their minds, tonight was the first time.
Lock the door, leave the world outside
All I've got, to give to you
Are these five words tonight
Thank You For Loving Me…
*********
One Month Later
The annoying sound of his alarm clock pulled Chandler Bing from his sleep. It took him a few swipes to hit the off bottom, and he let out a relieved groan once he did. He got out of his bed and walked towards his shower. He only had 3 towels now, and he only had them because Phoebe had left them there when she moved in with Ross.
It had been a long month, full of moving boxes and dealing with awkward situations. Rachel and Joey were still living together, and now Phoebe and Ross were too, which opened up Phoebe's apartment for Chandler. He moved into it once Monica dropped the big D word. Divorce.
Chandler Bing sighed as he thought about his ex-wife, still wondering what went wrong. She had written "irreconcilable differences" on the divorce papers, but he didn't know what those differences were.
Chandler shrugged off the thought and started getting ready for work.
His life sucked. And he didn't know why.
To Be Continued…
The final chapter of the musical will be out soon. However, it won't be the end of this story, just the musical part. This series (my episodes + the musical) will be concluded in one more story, which will be released once this and Hidden in the Sky are finished. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and I hope you all leave a review or drop me a line at ExiledSarcasm@aol.com . Updates will be soon! And if you haven't already, check out Hidden in the Sky, which is posted here on FF.net!
Songs used in Chapter 4:
Deep Inside of You ~ Third Eye Blind
Hey Leonardo ~ Blessid Union of Souls
Crawling ~ Linkin Park
This I Promise You ~ Nsync
Thank You For Loving Me ~ Bon Jovi