Invasion of the Hormones
Epic Four
Written by Cartman's Girl and Invader Poe

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Chapter Five

Zim stopped walking, realising who they were about to walk past. He returned Poe's glare since today wasn't especially his best day after all, having to deal with a hormone-induced clone spawn, and now possibly would have to put up with his 'son's 'Girlfriends' family. He coughed and started walking again, ignoring the looks Poe was dishing out to him. Enid didn't really seem to notice Poe's grip on her tightening since she was more upset now then to realise what was going on. Poe was too mad to try and retain any maturity, and gently handed Enid off to Cten,

"How DARE you," He snarled at Zim in a tone far angrier than any the Invader had probably heard coming from the Reject before. He strode towards the other Irken and his half-human spawn, Zib blinking up and cowering slightly - not only was Poe still bigger than both him AND his Mom, he still remembered how scary the Reject had been when he was little, and now Zib had just stuck his tongue down the throat of Poe's daughter.

"How DARE you insult MY daughter after YOUR freakish spawn got his claws on her!" He stood to block Zim's path, looming over them dangerously. Cten knew that when Poe got mad, it's the best thing not to get involved. She'd learnt this through the years of being with him, but still this time he might hurt Zib, not only Zim. And She didn't need her daughter being upset at her mate for inflicting pain on her possible boyfriend. Zim stopped walking and just glared back up at Poe, if he was afraid, he sure wasn't showing it.

"Oh, so it's perfectly all right for YOUR spawn to push herself onto MY spawn!? Am I supposed to allow this because she's a Reject and let her off!? Well that's not about to happen that's for sure!" Zim marched up to Poe, the two now looking at each other eye to eye, you could just imagine the lightning sparking between the two. "I don't want that rat NEAR my spawn ever again, do you hear me!?"

"She is NOT a REJECT!" Poe snarled, his hand darting out and grabbing Zim by the collar, lifting the short Invader off his feet and bringing him to eye-level, "And in case you haven't noticed, your…" He glanced over at Zib, baring his teeth, "accident is the male, I can only imagine who was pushing themselves onto who!" Well, like most Dad's Poe had the unerring belief that his daughter was nothing short of a perfect, innocent princess. "If that HYBRID ever comes NEAR Enid again, I will personally rip out BOTH of your ID pods, do YOU hear me?" He growled, jerking Zim around roughly. Zib looked slightly hurt as Poe called him names, but being related to his Father he could more than take insults without really being affected. He glanced over at Cten helplessly.  Cten looked back at Zib, then at Enid who was now wiping her eyes. She walked up to Zim and Poe, who were now in a glaring contest, Zim still suspended in the air, and Poe twitched, still glaring at Zim as Cten approached him,

"Poe, put Zim down now. I don't want our daughter any more upset today then she already is, and seeing you or hearing you threaten to hurt Zib or Zim isn't going to help. " She said rather gently in a calming manner. Poe seemed to backdown a smidgen as she spoke, his viscious snarl turning into a frown, Zim looked at her, frowning.

"Keep out of this, Cten! Zim is highly capable of putting up with-" he was cut off by Cten, who sounded rather.. un-Cten like.

"SHUT UP ZIM!" Zim blinked and looked somewhat... frightened (?!) of her and shut up. She looked to Poe – who had blinked and flinched as she had yelled, and spoke in her normal tone again. "Now Poe."

"I… see your point," he mumbled, arm-muscles tensing as he prepared to throw Zim down, but his good sense kicked in at the last moment and he set Zim down, albeit not too gently. Zib let out a relieved sigh - sure, he was use to seeing Zim and Dib go at it, but Poe was a good deal more threatening than Dib (even with gardening gloves on).

Poe was still glaring at Zim, and if looks could kill, Zim'd be toast. He turned his attention over to Zib as Cten asked the last question, and Zib flinched, reaching up and scratching the back of his head. He looked back and forth, from his Mom, to Poe, to Cten, and finally over at Enid, frowning when he saw her tear-streaked face.

"Um…" His antennae perked as he got an idea, then sighed, looking at the ground, "Um… yeah… Enid and I snuck out of Dad's house when he and Mom started fighting, and I guess, um… I guess…" He glanced back at Enid, then back at the adult Irkens, "…I guess… I got a little carried away." Poe took a deep breath, restraining himself from attacking the hybrid on the spot. Enid looked shocked slightly, Cten, seeing Poe's reaction took his hand into hers to calm him down. Zim on the other hand, glared at Zib.

"And I still blame your Dad for it."

"Why's that, Zim?" Cten looked over at him,

"Because of Dib's inferior human genetics! Zib's got a reaction thingie happening in his pants and it seems to always happen when your… daughter is around." he was about to say 'Reject' again, but once again, realised it might end up with him without an ID Pack and flat as a pancake. Zib stared at the ground, still scratching the back of his head. It'd been hard fighting back his Zimmy side to allow him to do something so, well… unselfish. He looked over at Enid and grinned slightly, sheepishly. Poe lowered his hackles, so to speak, taking another deep breath.

"I guess that means we'll just have to keep them seperated," he mumbled.

"What?!" Enid spoke up now, causing everyone present to look at her. "No!" Poe frowned slightly. He wasn't good at denying his daughter something, but he shook his head firmly,

"That's the way it has to be, Enid, until Zim's…" He bit his lip slightly, "…son learns to control himself." Zib frowned as well; that's now how things were suppose to work out, but at least Enid wasn't in trouble.

"B-But how do you know that'd work?!" Enid was getting upset again, but Zim answered this one.

"The longer time he's away from you the better! Least we won't have to worry about these 'hormones' or his pant problem until we know it's gone." he snapped back.

"I don't want to be seperated from Zib! You don't understand!" Cten intervened here, going back to Enid.

"Enid, please. Last thing we want is to start something up again…"

"Or something like this happening again." Zim snorted in Zib's direction, a feat seeing he had no nose to snort from. Poe folded his arms and sighed again, but used a combonation of his tallness and parental authority to the best of his abilities, speaking firmly,

"It's for the best, En. We don't even know how Zib's… physiology… differs, or what side effects it might have." Zib frowned sadly, murmuring,

"Sorry for causing so much trouble…" Enid looked to Zib, but then looked at Poe. She frowned, which wasn't a thing she usually did to her Father – heck she didn't even do it when she was young!

"I hate you. " With that she turned and stormed up to the house, swung the door open and slammed it shut after them. Cten blinked, not really sure what just happened here, looking from Zib to Poe, then Zim.

"Huh." Zim scoffed. Poe blinked in surprise and started to say something in his defense, when the door slammed. He stood there, staring blankly and looking a combonation of guilty and hurt, his shoulders slumping.

"Enid, wai-" Zib, too, was cut off by the door, and he started to resemble Poe, emotion-wise, at least. He sighed and hung his head, taking off his glasses and rubbing them off with his coat, just to keep himself busy. Zim then looked to Zib, arms folded.

"Now that this has been finished for today, I'm going HOME." he gave a quick nod to both Poe and Cten, before turning on his heels and walking off. Cten wasn't sure what to do now, go after her daughter or at least talk things over with Poe, and Zib was still there, for now at least. Zib gave a small wave and hurried off after his Mom, being one of the last people Enid's parents probably wanted to see right now. Poe didn't even seem to notice; he just stared at the pavement blankly, looking, well, devestated. Cten watched Zib leave, then walked up to Poe.

"Poe…?"

"I knew I wasn't cut out for this parent thing," he mumbled, folding one arm and leaning his elbow on it, his chin in his palm.

"Don't talk like that." she replied, "I'm sure all parents go through something like this, at some point or another." Cten shrugged slightly as she said this. She'd seen lots of TV shows about family togetherness, and every now and then a child would say something like Enid did, and somtimes worse, to parents.

"But she said she hated me…" Well, now we know where Enid got her level of self confidence. It probably stung him in particular, though; being Rejected by one's species was enough, he didn't need it from his own family.

"Well, look at it from her perspective. Zib, is obviously someone she cares a lot for." she took his hand again, stroking it with her other hand. "And then she's told she can't be near him again, and she doesn't know for how long. How'd you feel if someone did it to you?" Poe glanced over at her out of the corner of his eye, then turned to face her slowly,

"I guess I can see your point… But I mean, he's half human… Who knows what kind of things he'd do?" He shook his head slightly, "That and I can't really say I approve of his parents…" he muttered.

"Well she's been able to put up with it since the day she hatched, but now…" a hint of worry could be heard in Cten's voice, glancing at the house. "…who knows what he's capable of… Poe I want our daughter to be happy, but also protected. But, I guess right now we'll have to stick what we're doing."

"I do too. It's not easy for me to hurt her like that…" He trailed off, thinking, "Maybe… Maybe they could see each other as long as they had a chapperone?" He looked up slightly.

"That might work." Cten replied, looking back at him. "But now, either we let her calm down for a while, or go talk to her."

"Maybe we should talk to her. I don't want her to think I did that to hurt her." He glanced at the house, at the upstairs room that belonged to Enid, "I'm just not sure if she'll want to see me."

"Look, how about I go talk to her first. Then I'll ask if you can talk to her, how's that?" Cten picked up the scissors and hedge clippers. He nodded slightly.

"Alright…" He retrieved his own scissors and went back to trimming the bushes, just to keep himself occupied. Cten looked up at the house, took her gloves off and was soon enough at Enid's door to her bedroom. Like Zim, you have to remember Cten is shorter then her own spawn now, since Enid seems to have gotten Poe's height, so talking to Enid was always somewhat tricky for her, but now she was upset! She took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Enid? Enid, it's me." Enid was on her bed, back to her door, hugging a pillow and glaring out her window into space. She didn't respond to Cten, recognizing her voice and not blowing her off like she would her Father, but she didn't make any move to acknowledge her either - seemed she was in one of those cold, silent sulks her Father'd get into every so often. Horray for teenagers, huh? Back outside, Cten sighed.

"Horray for teenagers and genetics..." she thought. "Enid look, I just wanted you to know that when you do want to talk at all, I'm here for you. All right?" Enid flattened her antennae - she'd thrown off her wig in a fit of disgust, and contacts too - and looked over her shoulder at the door slightly, then back out the window, hugging onto her pillow tightly,

"I thought Daddy wanted me to be happy…" she mumbled, probably just loud enough for her Mom to hear.

"Honey, he does want you to be happy, but he also cares about you." Cten replied from her side of the door.

"But--" She cut off slightly, letting out what sounded like a strangled sob. "If he cares, why doesn't he try to understand?" She said in a quiet tone, probably too muffled and choaked up for Cten to make out well. Cten got a pained expresion on her face, putting her hand onto the door.

"Enid, can I please come in…?"

"Alright…" She buried her face into her pillow, her antennae sagging to her sides limply, the curl at the tips only hinted at now. The door opened and Cten entered the room, closing it behind her. She walked up to Enid and sat on the bed besides her. Not saying anything yet, she was usually better at letting Enid start first, since this was her 'problem'. Enid was silent for a while, her midnight-blue eyes brimming with tears as she stared out the window. She finally sighed and relented, letting her defenses drop with an unrelated comment; she closed her eyes halfways and said,

"You know… he lied, Zib did… I was the one.." She cringed slightly and squeezed her pillow, "I was the one that came onto him…"

"Ah." Cten said quietly, then looked down at her and gently put her hand to her daughter's shoulder. "I can see why you like him then, he cares about you." She nodded slightly, looking down at her bed.

"I don't even know what happened to me back there… I wondered… I wondered why I gave him that… reaction thing, and he said I was pretty…" Her cheeks tinted, "I said he was cute, and things went from there…" She sighed heavily into her pillow, glancing over at her Mom, "I can see why Zib's, eh, Mom would disapprove, he doesn't seem to have a nice bone in his body, but I thought Daddy would understand."

"Well, Zib's Mother never cared for anyone who was below him, stance wise." Cten stroaked Enid's head gently, "So, he never got along with your Father. But your Father is very protective of you, and last thing he wants is you hurt, physically or mentally."

"But… I'm not a smeet anymore," she scowled slightly, maybe down and out the window at Poe, who was still busying himself with the shrubbery, "He still treats me like one though…"

"It's funny isn't it?" Cten glanced out the window as well, "He doesn't look like the caring type, but if anything ever happened to you, well I wouldn't like to be in his way, that's for sure." she looked down at Enid, "So what do you want him to do, let you do whatever you want?" her daughter sighed slightly.

"Well… I guess he can't do that… but I'm almost an adult!" Well, that was probably stretching the truth, since she was only about the Irken equivillent to 16 or so, but you know teenagers. "I can't even see what's so bad about being around Zib… I mean, what could he do anyway?"

"Well, your Father may never have had 'hormones', but he's had instincts like that. I should know." Cten laughed slightly, brushing her wig with her hand, which was now off since she was inside. "But boys do get… rather excited about things like that." Enid made a slight face; the last thing any kid wants to imagine is their parents being like that.

"Zib isn't the most threatening thing though. I mean… he's cute, but he's kinda…" She lowered one eyelid as she sought for the right word, "…scrawny."

"Well yes, look at his parents! You can't exactly call Zim or Dib 'big' can you?" Cten smiled, "But when they hit the right note, so to speak, you'd be surprised what they can do." A small smile threatened at the corner of Enid's mouth, and she looked down at the pillow and shrugged.

"I guess you're right… he was starting to get kinda… y'know…" She blushed and gulped slightly, "When his parents walked out in us…"

"I thought as much, you have no idea what you smelt like when you came back young lady." Cten crossed her arms, smirking at herdaughter. "So you know what I mean?" Enid winced and squeezed her eyes shut, a fierce blush flaring up. Afterall, part of that scent was from her, and not just on her.

"Y-yeah… but… still. Does this mean… I can't see Zib at all?" She looked over at her Mom, "He's the only Irken… er… whatever my age around here…"

"Well, your Father and I believe you might be able to at least meet now nad again as long as you have someone with you. To make sure nothing… funny starts up." Enid rubbed at her cheek a bit, the blush till there, but she perked her antennae,

"Really?" She broke out into a smile and hugged onto Cten, "Thanks, Mom…" Cten smiled and hugged her back,

"Aw you're welcome honey… like I said, your Father and I can't stand seeing you upset…" she then pulled back slightly, looking at her. "Now, do you think your Dad could come talk to you? He's bashing himself out there." A look of slight guilt crossed her face, and she looked down at her lap, nodding slightly.

Poe, meanwhile, was muttering to himself while attacking the bushes, probably imagining it to be Zim or Zib or even himself, who knew, casting a glance up at the room in the forefront of the house every so often. Then, as he was about to start destroying the bush again, Cten arrived at the door.

"Poe, she's ready to talk to you now."

"Huh?" Poe blinked out of his destructive trance and stood up, looking over at her, "She in her room?" He set down the scissors and peeled off his grubby gloves. Cten nodded,

"Yup, she's all ready." Poe nodded slightly and took a deep breath, heading into the house. Eventually he knocked on the door of Enid's room, and spoke in such a quiet, wary tone he almost seemed out of character,

"En?"

"Come in…" Enid said faintly from the other side of the door. By now she was sat on her bed, facing the door, still holding her pillow. He opened the door slowly and stepped in, taking off his wig and holding it and looking down at it.

"Look, En, I'm sorry  I reacted the way I did out there…"

"S'ok," she muttered, looking down at the pillow in her arms. "Mom explained pretty much why you… you know, reacted like you did." He nodded slightly, looking up. He couldn't help but smile a bit as they both stared down at their respective objects in a nearly identical fashion, and his footsteps approached her, before he sat down on the bed beside her, but still gave her some space.

"Still. I should've been more mature and… adult-like. I guess… I guess you don't have to be totally restricted from seeing Zib." He said, with some difficulty. She had looked up at him as he approached her, she fiddled with the pillow's zipper with her spiked ring.

"I wouldn't have liked not being able to see him…" she blushed faintly, "He is the only other Irken… well, he's kinda Ikren anway, around here my age…" she cleared her throat, smirking slightly. "But it's okay Daddy… I'm sorry I said I hated you."

"It's alright." He smiled down at her, putting his claws on her shoulder, "Cten said that kids say stuff like that to their parents all the time… I'm just worried about being a good parent, since I don't have any experience to draw from… I never really knew my own Dad." Enid looked at his claws, then up at his face smiling more now.

"Aw, you've done good Daddy…" He grinned slightly,

"I'm glad then." He took out his contacts with his free hand, "You're a pretty good daughter, too, even if you are growing up a bit too fast to me."

"Heh… you want me to be little all over again?" she smiled broadly, showing her semi-sharp teeth off.

"Well, maybe not really little…" He made a slight face, remembering the joy of changing diapers, "But you know what I mean." He pulled her into a hug, "No matter how old you may get, you'll always be my little Girl, En."

"And you'll always be my Daddy." she hugged him back warmly. "Sure, we might bicker but I think that's part of being a family."

"I'm happy to hear that," He smiled, "Yeah, I guess so. It's kind of strange for us Irkens to have a family at all - I guess maybe Earth's rubbing off on us."

"Darn Earthlings." Enid grinned, "But, even if I had to choose parents, I'd still choose you 'n Mom."

"Well, that's good, because you're stuck with us," He teased slightly, then sighed. "The thing with Zib… well, I don't know about Zim. He's not nearly as... flexible as your Mother and I are."

"Oh come on Daddy, you could so make him do anything." Enid looked at him, "I mean, what you did out there before…" she then sighed slightly, "Still, I guess hurting him won't do anything as Mom said." He chuckled quietly,

"En, that was wrong of me and you know it. Zib's as much his son as you're my daughter. And besides, he did help save your Mom's life once. We'll just have to see."

"He did?" He nodded slightly,

"I guess Cten never told you about it.." He looked up at the ceiling, "Long, long ago, I had a SIR unit like Beka or Gir, but it wasn't… functioning properly, to say the least. Gor thought I was his slave, instead of vice versa…" Enid tilted her head to the side, Poe was right, she hadn't heard this story before.

"He was, shall we say, controlling, and… well, abusive. One day, when your Mother and I were still just friends, she offered to let me move into her base with her to get away from him. He took offense to this, and destroyed her old base… We relocated to our current one, and he returned, while I was at home. We got into an argument, and he had this horrible spike-woven whip…" Poe shuddered slightly. He was always going to remember that.

"He was about to strike me with it when Cten jumped in front of me and took the blow for me…" He sounded a bit wistful, still having trouble believing what she did do this day, "She was, technically, dead, and the fixer machines in our own base couldn't heal her properly, so Zim lent us his, and they managed to revive her." Enid listened quietly as her Dad told the story, her eyes widening at certain points like the spike-woven whip and her Mother 'dying' back then. She looked rather dismayed as he finished off.

"…whoa…" she said, glancing at the door. "I never knew that… she really did that?"

"Yeah," He said with admiration, "It's no wonder Zim thinks she's a Solider, huh? She might be small but she managed to diffuse that whole situation on the pavement with her voice and touch alone." He smiled warmly as he gushed, then shook his head, "She still has the scars on her back from where they had to stitch her back up and reattach her pod."

"Gee… and Zib's Mom helped despite he got injured trying to help you?" she looked up at him, "That doesn't sound like him at all."

"Yeah… Well, Zim is far fonder of Cten than me, namely because he thinks she's his underling, sent here to help him conquer Earth. That, and she's not a foot and a half taller than him."

"Height is a big thing with him… mustn't be easy having Zib who's taller then him." she giggled slightly.

"I think most everyone is taller than him, even Cten by a hair or so maybe. So I guess he can't be blamed. Height is a big thing with most normal Irkens, that's why their leaders are called the Tallest, afterall…"

"Ohh…" she glanced up at the ceiling. "Me and Zib talk about how Irk must be like sometimes… since we've never been there."

"You're not missing much, En," He wrinkled the place his nose would be, "It's even more polluted and industrialized than Earth, and, well, Zim's a pretty good representative of the normal Irken species. Of course, my experience on it was less than positive…"

"Euw, then maybe I don't wanna see." Enid wrinkled the place where her nose would be, probably a habit she got from Poe or just mimicking him for now.

"It's probably not so bad if you're an upper class Irken, but being a Reject was, well, not fun, to say the least." Poe shook his head slightly, "Still haunts me to this day, as you can see, with how Zim treats me… Ironic, really, considering his own son is so odd-looking he wouldn't have even been Rejected, just flat-out destroyed most likely." Enid's eyes widened somewhat.

"Uhh… would I have been… a, a Reject, Daddy?" Poe frowned, looking down at Enid,

"I'm really not sure, sweetheart.." He pet one of her antennae softly to comfort her, "I personally think you look fine, but who knows what standards they use. I'm not even sure what ultimately got me Rejected."

"Oh…" she leaned into him, hugging him again. "…now I'm glad I live here." He smiled and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, holding her close,

"I am too, En. Irk is no place for anyone to grow up… Earth has its problems, and being an alien will only bring on more for you, but I think ultimately it's a much nicer place."

"Much nicer." She agreed.

Zib watched Zim pace back and forth in the living room from his place on the couch. Now, in the past he'd been happy to go along with whatever his Mom said, but he was a teenager now, one that was half Zim, nonetheless.

"I don't get it, Mom, what was so bad about what I did with Enid?" He finally asked, "I mean, we were just kissing…"

"Just kissing?!" Zim turned around sharply, glaring at Zib with his fists clenched. "Kissing is another means of transmitting germs from bodies!! And there was a lot more then just kissing happening there!" Zim pointed to Zib's hair/antennae. "She was stroking… them!"

"What's wrong with that? It felt nice," He said bluntly, obviously not understanding any Irken sociological stigmas attached to antennae-fondling. Zim looked flabber-ghasted for a moment, then waved his hands in front of his own face, almost scratching himself while making painy noises.

"That's not the POINT!" Zib covered his mouth to conceal a snicker,

"You forget I'm half human, anyway. I can probably handle any germs thrown at me, alien or terrestrial." He took a sip of a box drink he'd managed to find, probably looking and sounding disturbingly like his Father.

"No no NO." Zim marched up to him, managing to glare down since Zib was sitting down. "Touching other Irken antennae is… is… just wrong!" he blurted out. He'd hate to admit he'd never had his antennae fondled, since it was something he'd always wanted. From a female, course. "It shouldn't happen unless there's… something else happening which you WERE and something like that happening means a lot!"

"What kind of something else?" Zib raised his eyelid, looking up at his Mom from over his drink.

"…something Irkens never get involved in!" Zim snapped back.

"They don't? I've seen Ms. Cten and Poe kiss occasionally."

"Believe me, if they were on Irk they'd both be in very big trouble for doing what they've done." Zim replied, folding his arms, then muttering about something Zib couldn't quite hear while looking away.

"But why? What's so bad about being affectionate? Humans do it all the time." Zib took another sip and perked his antennae to try and pick up what Zim mumbled, "What was that, Mom?"

"Nothing!" Zim said quickly, could that be a slight tint on his face? "Irkens just don't lower ourselves to that stuff!" Zib quirked his eyelid,

"If you say so. But Irken laws would only half apply to me, wouldn't they?"

"Not while in my base." Zim snarled back, obviously he didn't want Zib hearing his mutterings. Zib raised his eyelid at Zim's sudden defensiveness and shook his head tightly.

"What are you so uptight about, Mom?" He snorted slightly, a feat for him as well since he had no nose either, "Enid and I wouldn't have even had to go outside if you and Dad hadn't started fighting."

"Oh don't throw that in my face!" Zim clenched his fists while glaring daggers at his 'son'. "You've grown up knowing your Father and I get into arguements over anything and we're not about to stop now just because you got a jolt in your pants!" Zib glared back and put down his box drink, squeezing it in his gloved fist,

"Well, don't blame me if I prefer interacting with the opposite gender," he sassed. Hoo, man, he was asking for it. You could possibly imagine the bomb going off inside Zim's head now. Yes, he wanted to have some affection in his life, but that was crossing the line there. Hinting that he has a 'thing' for Dib. He pointed at Zib's face, snarling and you could imagine if he could, his teeth would have become sharper.

"YOU GET TO YOUR ROOM RIGHT NOW YOU STINK WORM!!" Zib stood up, glaring down at Zim,

"Oh, I'll go to my room alright." He said ominously with a smirk and started off towards the elevator. Dun dun dun.. Zim stood there, glaring at Zib as he walked away. By the way he moved his hands, looked like he wanted to choke off Zib's air supply, but then let out a grunt and let his arms hang by his sides. The way Zib was snickering to himself as he into the kitchen and towards the door to the elevator couldn't help. What was he up to?

[To be continued again!]