Invasion of the Hormones
Epic Four
Written by Cartman's Girl and Invader Poe

~*~

Chapter Six

Well, let's just say sending one's disgruntled teenage spawn into the same room as one's vehicle might not be such a good idea. Gir, all this time, had been curled up on Zib's bed, the blankets wrapped tightly around him as he dreamed about piggies wearing taco hats and eating taquitoes with a fairy princess, didn't even stir as the cupboard doorway slid open and Zib entered the room. Zib threw himself down on the bed with a bounce, probably bouncing the poor SIR right off. He laid on his stomach, glaring at his bed's head board for a while, before looking over at the still, shadowed form of the Voot Cruiser resting in the middle of the room.

"Stink worm eh? I should show him what a stink worm I can be," he grumbled to himself, but his Dibbish side kept him from acting on anything just yet. The robot clanged on the ground, jolting him out of his stupor.

"Aw... GodMother go coffees!" he sat up and rubbed his metal cranium, before seeing the boots of Zib hanging above him. "MiniMaster!" Gir screeched, seemed he never did get out of habit calling Zib that, even if now he towered over both him and his Master. The little SIR climbed up onto the bed. "Wassa up?"

"Eh? Oh, hi, Gir," Zib mumbled, having not even noticed the little robot, "Mom's just being extra.. eh.. anal retentive lately." He smirked to himself, "I think being picked up by that Reject set him off."

"Anal...?" Gr's eyecams telescoped at the word, then tilted his head to the side. "Aw, did Master have Poe kick his anal again?" not knowing what anal meant, Gir was now going to use the word whenever possible, cause it sounded funny. That just made Zib snicker harder,

"You could say that. Or he would have, if Ms. Cten didn't have him on a leash. Man, Poe looked about ready to kill him.. 'Course, Mom looked about ready to kill me a few seconds ago."

"I like leashes!" the little robot said simply. Zib quirked his eyelid at Gir, then shook his head. He rolled onto his back and stretched his arms out - even if the little robot didn't make any sense, he was someone Zib could rant at with little reprocussion, making him almost like an odd pet instead of a sibling nowadays.

"Mom's been especially irritable lately, even before this whole pants thing started." GIR watched Zib roll onto his back, and mimicked him, rolling onto his own back and stretched his arms out too.

"Doesn't Master like pants?"

"Not when there are active things in them, I guess. I think I'm starting to like Dad better," he muttered, displacing his glasses and rubbing his eyes with his claws, "Mom's just so.. ranty."

"Master likes rants, uh huh." Gir nodded his head, then gave a small sigh. "So whatta ya do MiniMaster? Run away and become a monkey slinging piggie hats?" His eyes widened at the suggestion and he sat up in bed suddenly,

"That's IT, Gir!" He looked towards the round window at the front of the house, "Maybe disappearing for a while will teach him appreciate Zib," he seethed quietly and clenched his fists. The robot sat up as Zib did, then his antennae perked up.

"Can I come??"

"Eh, if you want to I suppose." Zib slid out of bed and started towards the window, "Mom isn't exactly nice to you most of the time either." He unfolded one of his spider legs and tapped at the window with the tip, adjusting his glasses and scrutinizing it. "Mom probably has a security system, but I doubt it's programmed to detect people moving out of the base.."

"Yay!" Gir lept off the bed and hurried up besides Zib, making his legs grow so he could look out the window as well. As he did he put his hands to the window sill, and it seemed as he did, it triggered something. The window then vanished from sight, leaving the gaping hole in the wall. How convienient! Zib blinked and quickly retracted his mechanical leg,

"Good job, Gir," he said in slight astonishment, then straightened up, "Time is of the essance! We must make our break before Mom notices us missing and uses the computer to try and locate us," He leaned his hands on the threshold of the window, sticking his head out into the air, wind blowing throug his antennae-hair. Two of his legs unfolded and gripped the sides of the opening, "Just climb up onto my back or something, we don't need your jets leaving a contrail for Mom to follow."

"Okie dokie!" Gir leapt up and clung to Zib's upper back, hanging onto his jacket collar, squeezing his eyecams narrow, as if squinting. "321Liftoff!" Zib's back spider-legs lifted him through the opening with the help of his real arms, and he looked back and forth to make sure there were no witnesses. He started to race down the side of the house on his mechanical limbs, before leaping off just around the juncture of the attict and first story, propelling him over the range of the lawn gnomes and landing him in the middle of the street. He skittered to keep his balance, swaying slightly and looking back at the house with a triumphent grin, before looking around,

"Hm, now, where to go.."

"Krazy Taco?" the little robot asked, grinning wildly feeling like he was in the middle of a breakout movie. Zib regained his footing and folded his legs up, sticking out his flat, magenta tongue,

"Ugh, no. Years of living with you has given me a healthy dislike of Mexican food," His eyes wandered in a certain direction, namely the direction of Poe and Cten's house, and he grinned, "Hm, I wonder.."

"I like birds." Gir said randomly as he held on for his little robot CPU Chip.

"We're not eating any birds, either, Gir," Zib muttered, before starting off in the direction of the base in question. Once he got there, he looked around suspiciously, jumping over the fence. He raised himself up onto his spider legs again, before raising Gir with the two front-mounted limbs, hopefully to the window on the second story.

"Can you see what's going on in Enid's room?"

"Kay!" the litle robot leapt up and landed on Zib's head, probably causing a massive headahce. Zib bit his tongue to hold back a yelp when Gir landed on his head, as the robot peered up into the room, which was Enid's room luckily. Since it was by now, a little bit dark her light was on, and she was inside. Polishing her antennae rings with some shiney stuff. "I see sheeee..." Gir whispered quietly.

"Is Cten or, more importantly, Poe around?" He knew he would be dead in so many ways if the Reject caught him, and his Mom wouldn't be too keen on defending him either.

"Hmmm.... nope!" Gir grabbed onto Zib's antennae to steady himself. "She's allll alone...." he then stood up, waving in the window and screeched out. "HI ENID!!" Inside, Enid blinked and looked to her right, where she sees Gir waving frantically while clinging onto some familiar hair-antennae.

"...what the?"

"GIR! SHUT UP!" Gir was quickly yanked out of sight, while the twin scythes turned, presumably down to glare at Gir, "Do you want her Dad to find us and eat us alive, or whatever he does with those fangs of his?!"

"Yes!" the little robot giggled as the window was slid open.

"Well I don't!" Zib scowled, before he realized the shaft of light opening up onto his face. He looked up at Enid and grinned sheepishly. "Oh, um, hey, Enid. Nice... uh, evening for a walk, huh?" He suddenly felt silly confronted with the idea of telling her he ran away from home to see her.

"Zib, what are you doing here?" Enid smiled somewhat, leaning on the window pane as Gir continued to wave at her from Zib's grip. Zib stuffed Gir behind his back, looking around innocently,

"Um.. nothing, just out for a stroll and I thought I might.. see how you were doing."

"Oh. Well that's nice... I see you survived your Mom." she said, motioning that he had no sores or bruises of any sorts.

"Yeah," he muttered, "Actually, I was, um.. trying to get away from him. Let's just say I'm not his favourite person right now," He rolled his eyes, "But then, I don't seem to be at the top of anyone's list right now, since I got this stupid.. thingee in my pants."

"Well you know you're on my favourites list." Enid smiled, leant forward and flicked at the long strand of hair that hung down between his eyes. "Not your fault your parents were of different species." Zib broke out into a grin, almost struck with a giggle fit when she flicked his hair, but managed to retain a modicum of dignity,

"Aw, thanks. Mom gave me a lecture about how two Irkens being all.. affectionate is wrong and nasty, but he didn't bother to really explain why," He shook his head, "I suppose he thinks everyone should act like him and Dad."

"Well, from what I heard from Daddy; Irk isn't exactly the happiest place in the universe." she glanced at Gir who all this time had been trying to wiggle out of Zib's grip. "Still, you have to be your own spawn, clone... thingie." Zib tried desperately to restrain the squirmy SIR, but needless to say his, well, shall we say less than adequate arms weren't much match for Irken-engineered technology.

"Um.. can I come in?" Zib asked quickly, "You know, before someone wonders where the yellow-green kid got the alien technology growing out of his back and the robot to boot." He glared down at Gir, who never had bothered to put on his doggy disguise.

"Uhm...." Enid glanced at her door. She knew her parents were somewhere in the labs below, and they'd be down there for some time doing their usual things they did down there. Sure she wasn't 100% sure what they were doing, she didn't want to know either. "Sure, come on." she got out of the way to allow Zib to enter.

"Thanks," he said quickly, hauling himself through the window and refolding his legs a bit too fast as he did; this resulted in him loosing his balance and tumbling out onto Enid bed, Gir along for the ride.

"Wheee!" Gir bounced off the bed and landed in a pile of clothes on the floor, and began amusing himelf by pulling articles of clothing onto his head.

"Erm... " she took Zib's hand to help him up off her bed. "You better not stay long though... Daddy still isn't quite keen on the two of us being together without a chaperone."

"Well, what he doesn't know won't hurt, eh?" Zib managed to right himself and brushed himself off with his free hand, rather enjoying where his other one was right now, "I guess I won't stay too long, just until Mom notices me missing or we hear someone coming up the steps."

"Or his screaming from here." Enid grinned, sitting down besides him on the bed. "But still, your Mom's not that bad. Daddy told me how thanks to him, my Mom was fixed when she was 'dead'."

"Huh? Oh, I guess not. Yeah, he's ranted about that in the past after he's had a brush with Poe.. Saying how they should be more thankful and were forever indebted to him or whatever his usual drivel is." He grunted, looking dull and mildly disgruntled.

"Knew he'd use it some how like that..." Enid sighed sadly. "Seems our families will never really get along, no matter what happens."

"Mom can't get along with anyone, and Dad.. well, Dad'd probably turn us all into the authorities if the chance ever came." He sounded slightly upset, but being your average guarded teenage male tried to make it come off as anger.

"Hmm..." Enid's antennae lowered somewhat, her rings jingling slightly.

"Wha, what's the matter?" He looked up at the sound of her jingling.

"Nothing." Enid replied quietly, looking down at her blue boots, reasling one was un-laced.

"Aw, something's the matter," He reached over and lifted up one of her drooping antennae with the back of his hand, "Your antennae are usually more.. perky-like." She giggled slightly as her antennae was picked up, then shoved him with one of her hands.

"Oh please.." she laughed.

"C'mon, tell Zib!" He scooted closer and nudged her in the side, grinning one of his goofy-charming grins.

"It was nothing!" she giggled, leaning away from him, her antennae perked up again.

"Yes it was!" He prodded her again and edged closer, suddenly in a playful mood reminicent of when they were younger - but nowadays, of course, it progress into something entirely different. Ahem.

"You're silly!" Enid laughed, but realising she was now at the corner of her bed she did what she used to do, back when they were younger. She surprised/attacked him by leaping forward, pinning him down on the bed by the wrists, and now she was sat on his stomach. "Hah, I still got it." she smirked, antennae curling up. Zib yelped and was easily pinned, his glasses gone askew - she hadn't done that in a while and it took him by surprise.

"It's not fair," He scowled up at her, "Why do you have to be bigger than me?" He squirmed beneath her uselessly.

"Blame my genetics." she grinned back at him, her antennae loosening to their normal boingy/thick selves again.

"Yeah, well," He watched an antennae fall down dangerously close nearby, "You forget I have the ingenuity of an Invader!" And with that he lifted his head and bit the tip of the antennae, pulling on it gently with a toothy grin.

"AH!" Enid pulled back, letting his wrists go, falling down off his stomach onto some other... erm, lower part. Ahem! "Cheat!"

"It's not cheating if-" He said muffedly from around her antennae, cut off suddenly as his eyes widened, "If it was within range.." he almost whimpered, his voice suddenly a few pitches higher.

"...what?" she then glanced down, realising where she was. Least to say, she blushed very deeply now, her antennae straight, almost similar looking to Poe's. Almost. "....oh." she squeaked. Zib coughed and squirmed again, which *really* didn't help. He started to look slightly flustered and cross-eyed, letting her antennae go with his teeth and holding on with his lips, the faintest hints of - ahem - activity starting up down… there. Enid's eyes widened suddenly, now similar to Zib's eyes as she felt that activity start up. She bit her lower lip and began to at least get off, since in all honesty last thing she wanted was possibly one of her parents walking in on them in this situation. Even if she had no idea why is sparked her it wasn't the best way to be. Zib let her antennae fall out of his mouth and looked down,

"Ohslark," he muttered quickly, sitting up and turning red, sitting up and hunching over as to conceal his, well, you know. "S-sorry.."

"My fault, my fault." she spluttered, rubbing the tip of her own antennae, the red blush still across her face.

"Not your fault you're so pretty," He looked up and said with a slightly drunken grin, obviously his hormones starting to kick into gear again. Enid just looked back at him blankly, then at the door.

"Thanks... but Zib, look we can't... try anything like that here." Gir's snores could be heard from the pile of clothes by now, murmering about lollipops and paint now. He leaned forward a bit, tilting his head,

"So let's go somewhere else?" He proposed, his glasses still hanging off one side of his face.

"...okay." Enid hadn't been out of the house with Zib in ages, even before the 'event' that day had taken place. She leaned forward and pulled her wig, contacts rolled up in it, out from under her bed and pulled them on. Zib blinked a bit dumbly, he hadn't been expecting her to go along that easily, but he grinned anyway. He glanced over at the sleeping Gir, and stood up - with some difficulty - and picked him up by a leg.

"Hmm, where do we -oof, go," he pondered to himself, still in a semi-dazed state as he stumbled over some clothing. Enid smirked, before helping him up and holding Gir by the arm.

"Just a walk somewhere, that'd be nice..." Zib made an affirmative sound before unfolding his spider-legs again and pulling himself to the edge of the window. He looked back at her and held out his hand, fixing his glasses with the other. She placed her hand in his, the little robot under her arm. And with that, he took a deep breath and leapt out the window, pulling her with him. His spider legs landed first, stabbing into the ground and leaving the teenagers suspended and bobbing several feet off the ground. Gir, now awake giggled as he clung to Enid's back.

"Wheee!" he declared, Enid shushing him quickly.

"Quiet Gir, I'll give you a taco if you're quiet!" Gir's eyes brightened, but he nodded quickly. Zib glared at the robot,

"Do we really have to take him along?" he muttered, landing on his feet and refolding his legs, starting out the yard and down the side walk, towards their favourite hang-out, the park.

"Aw but he's so cute." Enid gushed, huggling Gir in her arms. Gir grinned happily at the huggling, since he rarely got any of it.

"Bah, cuteness!" Zib made a show of sounding disgusted and dismissive, but he found himself grinning despite himself. They marched off towards the park, while a light in the sky easily mistaken for a plane slowly got larger and closer, just out of view of the two teenage alien-spawn as it headed towards their base, landing in the yard with a solid THUD and setting off a few car alarms, revealing itself to be an Irken patrol vehical, larger than a Voot Cruiser. Inside the base, Cten who had been down in her lab all this time, heard the noise.

"Irken Patrol Vehical in vacinity." the computer voice alerted. Her antennae straightened, and she got to her feet and shook Poe, who was fast asleep besides her in a seat.

"Poe, Poe!" she hissed quietly, afraid that the Patroller would have super hearing chips or something.

"Ssgnah?" Poe murmured, then blinked and sat up, "What's the matter-" He blinked, antennae perking at the noise. Soon enough, a solid knock was heard on the door in the house level.

"...we have visitors." she muttered quietly. She pressed a button on her main computer panal, and the image of who was at the door flicked onto the monitor. A very tall, very mean looking Irken stood at the door. "...oh slark." Cten muttered. The patroller, whom we shall call Patroller for the sake of clarity, was in one of those tall-collar thingees, and had a nasty looking electrical staff.

"Would Maid Cten and the Reject step out of the building at once, please," a mechanized voice requested in a tone of forced politeness. Poe looked especially pale, "Or we will be forced to use.. erm.. force."

"Great." she said darkly, and got to her feet. Being a maid, she was taught to obey such orders from taller beings, in higher ranking other then height.

"Wait, Cten, maybe we could use the elevator to the attic and take the Voot Cruiser--"

"Alright, we'll do this the HARD way," the voice sounded again, and there was a cracking sound as the Patroller stabbed the door with his staff and sent out an EMP charge, disabling the house's power system, the lights in the lab dying.

"...I think we can't now." Cten's voice sounded from the darkness, then Poe felt her grab his hand. "C'mon Poe, we gotta do what he says." by now the sounds of the heavy foot steps were sounding as Patroller was making his way down to the lab. Poe nodded gravely, though she probably couldn't see, squeezing her hand. He was doing his best not to panic, having a flood of memories rushing through his head, trying to think clearly. Light suddenly flooded into the room as the patroller's staff burnt a square-shaped hole in the ceiling, the metal dropping to the floor with a loud, clattering clank, and he lowered himself down into the hole with hover-thingees much like the Tallests', but not nearly as cool of course. He held up a pair of metallic round circles, and started towards them. Cten sighed sadly and bowed her head to the Patroller, not really sure what's about to happen but holds one hand out, if they were cuffs like on Earth. Poe shook his head quietly and put his hand on her arm, lowering it before the Patroller had the chance to think it was an agressive gesture. He tossed the circles into the air, and they flew up to the two Irkens and latched around their waists, pinning their arms to the side,

"Any attempt at escape, and I can use these Restraining Rings to electrocute you in any number of ways!" Patroller growled, then waved his staff, "Not to mention using this. Now, come on." They didn't have any choice in the matter, the rings levitating them up after the patroller, though the ceiling, and into the back of the vehical, which wasn't much more than a barren metal room with a few cameras mounted here and there. The sounds of the vehical taking off could be heard, and soon enough they were moving, but in no more than a few minutes the vehical landed again, this time at Zim's base, loud enough to rouse him from whatever he was doing. He sat up on the couch, one antennae quirked in confusion at the noise.

"Huh?" he muttered, half asleep. He got off the couch and was about to open the door when the Patroller opened the door first, much to Zim's surprise. "What's going on here?" seems the days events has caused him to forget about the message he had with the Tallest those years ago. The patroller vehical was turned around, the bars in the back allowing Zim to see Poe and Cten looking rather miserable in the corner.

"The aberrants have been detained, as you requested," The Patroller snickered, reaching behind his back for another Ring, not that Zim could see that.

"...oh I see!" Zim glanced over at the vehical and smirked somewhat, folding his arms. "Very good job soilder! I'll contact the Tallest and tell them of your work. Not exactly the quickest in the galaxy but still, very good!" he grinned up at the Patroller, oblivious to the fact what the Patroller had in store for him.

"I'm afraid we have one more to collect." And before Zim knew what happened, he found a ring jammed down around his waist, easily pinning his scrawny little arms.

"What the?! What are you doing?! Unring Zim immedietely!!" Zim screeched, trying to pull his scrawny arms out of the ring.

"You, Zim, have been detained for the following charges.. Destruction of property, returning to Irk while under Exhile, repeatedly harassing the Tallest.." He went on and on, "..and your presence has been 'requested' at Judgementia with the other two."

"...but I am ZIM! I'm on a secret mission for the Tallest!! You liar! You're just jealous of my amazingness aren't you?? Admit it!" gee, Zim didn't know when to keep his trap shut. From inside the vehical, Cten smirked as she heard Zim rant on for a while, then a buzzing sound mixed with Zim's screech of pain. The door was then slammed open and Zim was thrown into the room, before it slammed shut again. Note the smoke raising from Zim's body.

"Well well, look who we got here." Cten smirked. Poe just remained stoic, probably the only one that had any idea what being arrested was like, leaning against the wall. Pretty soon, the ground became a pattern of colourful squares as they entered the atmosphere, and then, they could see Earth itself through the translucent, bar-laced door on the back of the vehical. Zim soon came too, just in time to see Earth vanish into the darkness. He frowned, then shot an accusing look at Poe and Cten.

"You two did this, didn't you? You couldn't just allow yourselves to be carted off to Judgementia to be judged and have your Paks deleted! You had to bring me along didn't you?! Admit it!!" Cten sighed, leaning against the wall.

"Oh sure Zim, we managed to talk the Patroller into arresting you too..." she said, sarcasm dripping from her words.

"A-HAH! You admit-Wait that was sarcasm wasn't it?"

"Oh yeah." Poe shook his head slowly.

"I'm just worried about Enid.." he shuffled around, ignoring Zim, "I've been arrested before, but never off-planet, and never with anyone to leave behind.."

"That's right...! Zib is now left at the hands of your spawn thingee!" Zim glanced to the window, but he couldn't hover since he didn't have the controls, so he didn't see much. "Great, just great... and Dib probably won't notice anything's different for months! Zib might be starved by then! ...he might have to eat Gir!" Cten shook her head, wondering if the jolt had caused any more bad things to happen to Zim's brain.

"I'm sure Zib and Enid will be fine... they've got Gir and Beka still..."

"You never gave him instructions on what to happen in case you disappear?" Poe looked at Zim skeptically, then froze, remembering something, "..let's not mention them again, shall we?" His eyes wandered to the camera.

"Mention who again?" Zim looked lost now, wondering what the Reject was talking about, and to who. Poe grit his teeth, and reached out with his foot, carving in the floor of the patrol car and hoping the Patroller couldn't read English, 'SPAWN, THEY'LL GO BACK FOR THEM'. He then motioned to the camera, 'THEY CAN HEAR US'. Zim tilted his head to the side to read Poe's writing, his antennae twitching. He grunted and just gave a quick nod. Cten looked outside of the patrol vehicle again, to see what looked like the planet Pluto dash past. Poe's claw was starting to crack from clawing up the hard Irken metal, which was probably enough to make the Patroller suspicious, if he was even paying attention. He seemed to be alone, and probably had to concentrate on, er, driving.

"I wonder if they'll take me to the trial or execute me on spot," he grunted. Not like Rejects got Trials that often, afterall.

"I'd say execution on the spot." Zim nodded in agreement, only to be kicked in the shin by Cten since he was close enough. "OW! Hey!" he snapped at her.

"I'd say that fate would be the more pleasent of the two, Zim." He looked over at the Invader, "Do you have any idea what they do to Irkens when they're on trial? They'll replay your memories to find all the crimes you've committed, and then you either get execution, torture, or.." Poe's mouth curled into a smirk, "..Rejection." Zim narrowed an eye at Poe, but sniffed the air indignatly.

"Huh. I'm such a fine Invader they'd probably award me for being so wonderful! You on the other hand..." Zim made the sound of 'slice' sound with his mouth then a 'thud' sound.

"Great... just great..." Cten muttered to herself.

"I bet you're only a milimetre above the height for Rejection due to shortness, Zim." Poe glared at him and hunched over, looming over Zim even when sitting down, "Maybe less." Zim made a small squeak sound and tried to roll away from Poe.

"Poe, Zim, stop it." Cten grunted from her seat. "I don't want this trip to be filled with testosterone competitions over who can spook who out most about what's going to happen to us."

"He started it." Zim mumbled.

"I don't care who started it." Cten snapped back.

"That's because I've been there." Poe leaned back into place, seeming satisified with Zim's squeaking. He glanced back at the cameras, eyelid twitching. Cten made a snarling sound but then kept quiet, and probably will remain quiet for the remainder of the entire journey.

[To be continued!]