Invasion of the Hormones
Epic Four
Written by Cartman's Girl and Invader Poe

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Chapter Seven

Now we've seen what these three are up for, why not we take a gander back down at Earth and see what the two teenagers and robot is up to? Well, it seems Gir's presance had sort of ruined the, er, mood. So Zib and Enid were sitting underneath a tree in a park, Zib looking somewhat disgruntled and squirmy. He looked up at the sky, blinking and narrowing his eyes, sheilding them with his hand to peer at something in the distance, namely the Patrol vehical launching.

"Hey, look, a meteroite," He pointed at the sky.

"OooOOOooo..." Gir's eye cams brightened as he saw the 'meterotie', while he was sat on Enid's lap like a little kid, which he's the equivalent of, pretty much. Enid looked somewhat confused,

"Aren't meteroites meant to be flying down, not up?" she asked, as she saw it vanish into the sky. Zib blinked and adjusted his glasses,

"..that they are." He stood up, watching it disappear, then looked down at where it had first ascended from, blinking a few more times, "It looks like it came from my house, too.."

"Maybe it's your Mom going out to blow some steam off?" Enid brushed her large bang out of her eyes, looking back up where it had vanished. Gir waved up at the sky.

"Bye baby!!"

"Maybe, but he doesn't usually go off Earth unless it's for something really important.." He frowned skeptically, starting to get worried. "Maybe we should check it out."

"Think we-" she was cut off by a beeping sound from behind them, the sound getting closer and closer. Then, causing Enid and possibly Zib to scream a small figure leapt out from the tree landing in front of them. Oh wait, it's just Beka in her disguise again. And she spoke pretty quickly so it was hard to work out what exactly she was saying, but the way she was waving her arms about it didn't look good. Zib yelped at least, backing up into Enid, then relaxing when he saw who it was.

"Slow down, Beka, we can't understand a word you're saying!" Beka stopped, re-cooperated and started again.

"I am ever so glad I found you, because a Patroller came to our base, and took Ma'am and Mr. Poe! I was cleaning the Voot Cruiser when the computer alerted the base, then I heard a banging sound and by the time I got to the door, it had already left. After I scanned the base, Ma'am and Sir. Poe were both gone." Enid blinked a few times, then her eyes widened.

"..please tell me you're kidding Beka..."

"Miss, I would not 'kid' about this."

"A patroller?" Zib looked worried, his antennae/hair drooping back, "Mom was on a ranting spree a few years ago about he was going to get a patroller to get rid of them, but I never thought it was serious.. And even so, why would it take off from his base?" He shrank into his coat slightly.

"Your base will probably know, if he's not there." Beka replied. Gir, by now was off Enid and walking around picking up acorns and stuffing them into his cheeks.

"Come on Zib, we have to find out now." Enid got to her feet quickly. Zib nodded and grabbed onto her wrist almost reflectively, running in the direction of his home, soon passing the blacked-out base that'd previously been residence to Poe and Cten, with burn patterns in the grass from the ship, and the broken door. Enid glanced at the house as they passed it, now looking very worried. Beka was pulling GIR along by the hand, similar to how Zib was leading Enid but Gir was allowing himself to be dragged more or less. Eventually they arrived at Zim's base, the same burn patterns in the grass, but this base still had light and was fully functional.

"Hi base!!" Gir screeched.

"Um, hello Gir..." the computer replied. Zib winched when he saw the scorch marks,

"Computer, is Mo-er, Zim here?"

"Zim was arrested 15 minutes and 32 seconds ago by Patroller number 4938 and taken to Judgementia for the following crimes.." Zib paled noticably. The computer rambled on a long list of crimes Zim had done, and finally finished.

"...and mouthing off at the Patroller."

"Oo dat's bad." Gir said. Zib looked rather shaken, he'd never been without his Mom for an extended period of time, though he'd just taken off with the intention of running away.

"...our parents are gone?" he said in an uncharictaristically small voice.

"Affirmative. Scaners shown presence of Maid Cten and Reject Poe in same Patrol Vehical."

"And... w-what's going to happen when they get to Judgementia...?" Enid looked like she was too spooked to ask.

"They shall be judged in front of the Mighty Control Brains, there, their memories will be played out depicting any crimes they have commited and then they'd be either (A) Let go with a warning (B) Rejected, or (C) Killed on the spot through the deletion of their paks." Zib winced.

"Knowing our parents and my understanding of Irken law, I don't think A's going to be a very viable option.."

"B-but what crimes have.. have my Mom done?" Enid could hardly believe that her own Mother would do something illegal.

"Reproducing with a Reject is a high offence in Irken Law." the computer replied. "...eep."

"Well.. what can we do?" The computer made a "Iunno" sound, then continued calmly,

"..and in response to the loss of the owner of this base, it will undergo an EMERGENCY SELF DESTRUCT to ensure Irken security."

"..what?!"

"Sorry, I'm programmed to do such a thing if my owner is either killed, arrested or any other mean and nasty stuff happens. Buuutttt.... since I like you kids I'll let you grab what you need and when you leave then I'll blow up." Gir squealed and ran off in some direction, possibly to 'his room' where he'll get possibly his piggie or something like that.

"But, all the lab equipment, Mom's experiments --"

"..sorry, can't let you take anything that would let the natives learn about incredibly superior Irken technology."

"You can't just blow up, I'm sure Mom and Poe and Cten will find some way back!" Zib looked desperate, it wasn't that he really had much in the way of stuff, but this was his home.

"I'm very sorry, but not even a base-regenerator can be taken to make a new base, for that could be easily stollen. Possibly by that Dib fella, as usual.." the computer grumbled something. "So I suggest you grab what you can Zib, and you Enid get to your base before it blows up as well."

"...my home will blow up too?!"

"Hey, it's a base too and it's owner is gone. Don't see why not."

"Wait, the power at Enid's base was disabled. None of the computer systems, and therefore the self-destruct system, should activate.." Zib pondered, then sighed and shook his head, running into the house into his room, probably to get his skool stuff, some clothes and whatever other meager possessions he had, stuffing them into a duffle bag he had conveinent. Along the way, he picked up Gir by the antennae,

"Come on, Gir, this place is gonna explode - and NO, it won't be fun," he grumbled, anticipating the robot's reaction.

"Awww." Gir grabbed a photo as they passed through the hallway, one of the 'family' - sans Dib of course. They eventually made it to the lounge room again, Gir now sniffling while holding onto the photo.

"Bye bye baaseeee..." he whimpered. Zib took a look around the room and frowned, then quickly ran out of the house,

"Come on, Enid, we don't have a whole lot of time." In fact, the 1-minute count down started as soon as he crossed the threshold out of the base. Enid followed after him, Beka trailing behind her. By the time they were down the road, the base was engulfed in an explosion big enough to just blow up the base. Smoke bellowed from where the weird looking base once stood, and a few pieces of metal landed in the street. Even the cables that were attached to the other houses were now gone. Zib yelped and skidded into a dive on the street, covering his head as the contained explosion lit up the sky, a piece of debris landing and impaling the street a few feet away from his head. He blinked his eyes open when the sound faded, the lights in the neighborhood starting to come on as people woke up to investigate. Enid had already crouched over, hands over her head and a gnome hat landed near by - rolling a few times before coming to a stop. Gir picked it up and placed it on his head.

"I'm a gnome monkey!" and yes, Gir was now in his disguise as he started doing a little dance. Beka looked to Zib and Enid,

"I believe we should get to our base now Miss, and see what.. what we can do." Zib climbed to his feet and brushed off his coat, some of the people looking down at them from their bedroom windows suspiciously,

"..I second that motion," He muttered, flinching away from the stares and taking Enid's wrist again. They eventually made their way back to the darkened, orange base. "I could possibly try to fix the power system, but that would start the self-destruction sequence.."

"Yeah... I say we... uh, possibly get human electricity running through so at least we can see where we're going and just not have access to the labs..." Enid glanced at the burnt grass. "I'm sure Mom wasn't happy about him landing on her flower bed either way..." she muttered to herself. Beka could only shake her head.

"All this mes..."

"We'd have to pay for the electricity, though." Zib looked at the wires which had embedded into the neighboring buildings, which were rendered useless, "And we can't replicate money any more.."

"...we could get some after Skool jobs you know. They're always looking for jobs!" Enid had her ID Pak hold out what looked like a torch, and shone it around the blackened base.

"But.. That also means we can't replicate food, anymore. I think we'd need full time jobs, En.." He looked up at the house with a mild look of horror.

"Great... we're turning into adult humans already." she groaned.

"Which means we'll have to drop out of skool.." He ran his claws through his hair and slumped, then tried to be optimistic, "Well, maybe we shouldn't do anything just yet, maybe we can stay with my Dad until.." He frowned, reluctant to say the words, "until we know our parents aren't coming back.."

"Okay... but I don't want to wake up on an operating table with my guts on the floor! If I do I'm not going to talk to you again, understand?" Enid crossed her arms.

"Same for me!" Beka spoke up. "But replace guts with gears."

"Don't worry." Zib glanced down at the duffle bag, then unzipped it, pulling out a laser he'd managed to grab from the base, "If he tries anything, I'll.." He scowled, trailing off.

"Should we go see Mr. Dib then?" Beka tilted her head to the side.

"Yeah." Enid said, walking to the table and picking up a photo frame, similar to the one Gir had grabbed but of course, this one was of her family. "...slark I miss them already and today I spent most of it mad at Daddy..." she muttered. Zib frowned, glanced around and put his claws on Enid's shoulder,

"I'm.. I'm sure they're not gone for good.. In fact, I'm sure they'll be back within.. weeks!" He forced a grin, trying to sound hopeful. Enid sighed, hugging the photo but kept quiet. Beka walked to the door, well walking over the fallen down door.

"Come along then Miss, it's not safe for you to be here now." with that, the little cat clad robot walked out, Gir following her. Zib slumped a little, then removed the hand from her shoulder, placing his arm around the back of her waist and leading her out.

They started toward Dib's house, Zib knocking on the door; luckily, Dib answered instead of Gaz. He eyed the group and their general demeanor..

"Alright, who died?" With that word, Enid just burst into tears pathetically, covering her eyes with one hand while clutching the photo frame in the other. Beka frowned, her eyes flashed red and gave Dib a kick in the leg.

"Bad!" she snapped.

"Ow!" Dib glared down at Beka. Zib scowled at his Dad and squeezed Enid with one arm, holding the duffle bag with all his belongings in it,

"Mom and Enid's parents have been arrested by the Irken authorities." Dib stared at him blankly, the words not sinking into his big head, "..Me and Enid are the only two remaining alien life forms on this planet, Dad." Zib finished bluntly.

"And me and Gir are the only two remaining robots on this planet." Beka said, putting her paws behind her back. Gir giggled, the gnome hat still on his head.

"Base went BOOM!" he screeched.

"Wait a minute.. so you're saying.. Zim is gone?! Er, and the others." Dib still wasn't sure how to react, with joy, relief, or worry that Zim might be replaced with a more, er, competant Invader.

"Gone.. but.. they.. MIGHT return," Zib glanced over at Enid, saying the latter more to her than Dib. Enid just wiped at her eyes with her arm sleeve, still sniffling.

"Don't worry human, they're arrested. I take you know what arrested means?" Beka, now the only one here to really protect her Mistress' daughter now had a right to be protective of Enid, despite Zib being there.

"Yeah, yeah," Dib rolled his eyes and leaned down to rub his shin, "So what'd Zim do to get arrested?" he said, inquiring for purely scientific purposes, but the look on his face was one of someone hunting for gossip, or blackmail, or whatnot. Zib bristled slightly,

"Don't you care about anything else, Dad?! Like maybe where Enid and I are going to LIVE now?"

"That's the reason we came here! We thought you'd be at least be a little like a parent and look after your spawn... clone, thing!" Beka piped up, glaring at him since he was leaning down.

"I wanna live with a pig!" Gir announced happily.

"No pig Gir, only big head boy there." Beka said, jutting a paw in Dib's direction.

"Oooo!"

"I'm not about to give room and board to a couple of evil ali-" Dib froze, thinking of something as he stood up straight, "Wait a minute, so you mean your parents and all your equipment and.. defenses are gone?" He wondered, a slightly.. evil look crossing his face. Beka gave of a vicious growl as she saw the look on his face, the growl sounding similar to that of a large carnivourus feline. Gir giggled and meowed in responce. Dib yelped at Beka's snarling, and the look on Zib's face wasn't much better,

"Listen, Dad, my brain is half.. like your brain so don't think I don't know what you're thinking!"

"What? I was merely going to suggest I help you, er, go to the authorities like most misplaced children.." He said innocently.

"...you don't even want to help us..." Enid muttered more to herself, then snarled and what with her having semi-sharp teeth like her Fathers it must have helped in the evil factor. "You're a disgrace to human beings everywhere and if I were more like my Father and cared less about how it would affect Zib I'd rip your head off."

"Head lolly pop!" Gir mumbled to Beka. Beka scoffed. Zib's eyelid twitched, Dib's assinity bringing out his, er, Zimmish side, and he stalked forward, unforunately still shorter than Dib, reaching into his duffle bag and yanking out the laser.

"Listen, human filth, I have half a mind to cook you from the inside out with this!" Dib blinked at the outburst, looking rather surprised, Zib never having snapped at him before.

"Now are you going to pull your pants up and at least act like a Father or will you be over thrown by us right here and now?" Enid asked, one eye now twitching. In the background, Gaz walks past sipping a juice box. She stops and watches the group for a while, then sits down, amused by what's happening.

"Fine, fine!" Dib waved his hands in self defence, glaring through his fingers at Zib, "Look, I don't even know where I'd keep two teenage alien spawns some robots! Even my Dad's bound to notice something sooner or later." Zib frowned, seeing his logic, then shook his head,

"Can't you at least.. help us.. somehow?"

"Liar Dib. You know we have that spare room where Mom used to do all her personal stuff." Gaz's voice could be heard from across the room. Heck she loved seeing her brother in such turmoil and stuff. Beka narrowed an eye, then blinked normally as Gir walked in past Dib, well technically under Dib going through his legs and sat on the sofa.

"That's Mom's room, I'm not lending it out to some alien scum!" He glared over his shoulder at Gaz. Zib tensed, muttering,

"I'm your-"

"Oh don't you START," Dib turned his glare back to Dib, "I had NOTHING to do with your creation intentionally!" He started forward, and Zib blinked and shrank back from the taller, ranting human, "As far as I'm concerned you're just another one of Zim's experiments. You should be lucky I haven't destroyed or captured you yet with one of my ingenious plans!" Zib seemed disarmed by the words, his frown becoming one of sad shock, and Dib continued to advance, forcing Zib back over the threshold, "I'm not going to help you, your Girlfriend, or your pet robots, so just scram!" He slammed the door in Zib, Enid and Dib's face, and it opened again a moment later, throwing Gir at them and shutting loudly. GIR cheered as he was thrown through the door, beeping as he landed hard on the cement outside. Beka looked down at Gir, then up at Zib and Enid.

"Now I know why Mr. Zim always wanted to get rid of him." The little robot claimed simply, nodding almost sadly. Enid snarled at the door, then looked over at Zib.

"…you okay Zib?" obviously having something like that said to your face isn't the nicest thing to hear. Zib just stared at the door blankly, slumped, the laser dangling limply from his claws. His hair-antennae were drooped to the side, and the poor guy looked just pathetic. Enid wrapped her arms around him and hugged him, closing her eyes.

"Come on Zib, we don't need him." she whispered. Zib looked down at the ground slowly,

"But.. he is my.. was my.. Dad.." He mumbled, more to himself, scrunching up slightly when Enid hugged him. Dib stormed away from the door on the other side, obviously in a mood about something. Gaz watched him storm past her, one eye semi-open but it didn't look particularly happy. Sure she didn't really have much of a purpose in her 'nephews' life, but still seeing that wasn't pleasing. She walked after Dib, and said loud enough for him to hear as she turned off towards the stairs starting her game again.

"And you rant about Dad being a lousey Father." Dib waved his hand at her dismissively.

"Family and friends only get in the way of research," he said, obviously becoming an embittered version of his Father over the years. Gaz stopped walking when she heard Dib say that, then turned back at him with... what is that, a shocked and somewhat sad expression? I believe it is! She blinks, then frowns.

"Holy dookie Dad, when did you find a way to reverse your age and feed the same garbage you gave Mom to them?" Dib snorted and walked up to the kitchen counter, turning his back to Gaz and tinkering with some Chupacabra trap he had,

"Don't you have a game to be playing, or something?"

"Yes, I guess I could be doing that. I've waisted enough breath on you already." Gaz walked past him, sniffing slightly as she went. "Hm, even smells like Dad." with that she was out the room. Outside, Zib let out a soft, but uneven sigh, and he almost look like he might cry.  Enid let go of him then took his free hand.

"Come on.. we'll find someone.. I hope." she then lead him away from the house, Beka leading Gir along after them. Zib allowed himself to be led along, his sad face scrunching into a scowl,

"Stupid.. stupid human. I guess Mom had good reason to hate him.." He sniffled slightly, rubbing the place his nose would be with his gloved wrist, then looking up. "I guess we can always stay at your place for the night at least.." Beka hopped ahead to walk in front of the two,

"I'm able to generate some power Miss, so seeing won't be that much of a problem." she claimed, her tail swaying from side to side. Zib looked down at Beka, then glanced at Gir,

"I'd say Gir could assist, but.. well, Gir is Gir." He sighed and shook his head, suddenly feeling and looking very drained, "I don't even care about our electricity situation right now, I just want to sleep."

"Yeah me too..." she then glanced upwards at the starry sky. "...I just hope they're okay... wherever they are." she mumbled to herself. Zib followed her gaze and nodded,

"I miss Mom.." he muttered to himself. Zim wasn't much of a parent, but he was a far better one than Dib, at least.

"I'm sure he's missing you too Zib. He should. I know I would." she replied, looking back at the ground. Zib smiled slightly over at her,

"Yeah, well, I'd miss you too." He nudged her side lightly.

"Glad we agree then." she grinned back slightly, then nudged him back. Zib kept his eyes on her as they walked, and without much warning or warrenting, he moved closer to her and slid his arm around her lower waist - maybe for comfort, though whether to give, recieve, or both was anyone's guess. Enid blinked in some surprise, then smiled at him as she wrapped her arm around his lower waist too.

"As long as we're together Zib, I think things'll turn out okay." she murmered.

"Yeah.." Zib smiled warmly at her, his antennae perking a bit, and the mushy mood was shattered by a loud, obnoxious,

"AAAAAAAAAWWW!" from Gir. Zib winced, then muttered to Enid,

"I think I'm going to have to install a mute button on him.." She giggled in responce, heck she needed a laugh in a moment like this. And something told her they'd be by themselves for a long time.

[The End]