Xin Ru Si Hui (A Heart Reduced To Ashes)
Chapter 1
What if Max had been in love with Zack as well as Logan during Blah Blah Woof Woof? Who would she have chosen? What would have happened?
Max sat at the window, staring out into the rain. 'God I hate it when it rains sometimes.' And now was one of those times. 'I shouldn't have let him go. I do love him. I just don't know how much. Maybe he was right and I do love Zack. But that doesn't mean that I don't love Logan. I just don't know who I should choose. I mean Zack knows everything about my past, because he's been there. He knows what I've been through because he was there by my side. But I've always thought of him as being my big brother. I just don't know what I feel for Zack. I love him, yes. But is it the kind of love Logan was talking about?
'And Logan. He's been there through some of my worst seizures, he helped me bust out of jail. He is the one who helped me find Zack and Hannah. I have helped him in return. We are partners. I just want to know if we are more than that. I don't know what it is that I feel for Logan either. I'm just so confused.'
Hearing Zack moving around in the kitchen, Max got up from the window and went to sit on the couch. She looked up at the doorway to see Zack just about to walk through it. He must have sensed that she was watching her because he looked up at her, and caught her eyes. For a moment she thought that she had seen something there, but when she looked again it was gone, replaced with that solid barrier that Zack always seemed to have up. She heard a clink and looked down at his hands. He carried a bottle of wine and two glasses.
Walking over, Zack sat down opposite her and placed the bottle and glasses on the table between them.
"I thought that you'd want to get moving. Bang over the border into Canada before dawn." Max commented
"We've got a secure nights lodging's. Might as well take advantage of it."
He replied as he poured the wine into the two glasses. Once finished, he picked one up and handed it to Max.
Taking it off him, her fingers gently brushed against his, sending sparks up her arm. Startled, she looked up into his eyes once more. This time she could see so much more, and he didn't try to hide it. She could she hatred, fear, anger, even love in those eyes, and it scared her. She had never seen so many intense feelings in anyone's eyes, let alone Zack's. She looked away, frightened by what she had seen.
"Here's to you finally doing the right thing and getting out of Seattle." He toasted.
"Right."
"I remember the morning of the escape getting into Cheyenne about 7:00 A.M. The streets were just starting to fill with people. Not soldiers or doctors just regular people on their way to work. It scared the hell out of me. As far as I was concerned, they were all the enemy and I was completely outnumbered."
"I know how you feel." Max remembered her first morning all by herself in a large crowded marketplace. It had been horrifying.
"I climbed onto the roof of an office building in downtown to lay low just as the sun was coming up. It was my first morning as a free man. The whole world looked different."
"It was like it was in colour all of a sudden."
"I know I've been hard on you, Max but I'm just trying to keep you safe."
"I know."
Then Zack reached over and swept a piece of hair of her face. About to take his hand away, Max reached up and grabbed it, holding it in her own hand. It felt so warm and safe, that she wanted to keep it there forever. Zack smiled at her, one of his rare, too quick for camera smiles. She wished he would smile more. Logan smiled all the time, but Logan was gone now, she might never see him again.
Zack must have known some how that she was thinking of Logan, because he asked, "You're going to miss him aren't you?"
"You think that's stupid."
"No. A part of me want's the same things - friends.a place where I belong.someone to care about."
Max's heart caught as she heard those words. He wanted someone to care about. Could that someone be her? She had to be certain.
"I thought it was all a sentimental lie."
"Even I have my moments of weakness."
"Oh. Like what?"
Lifting her hand up, he gently kissed the back of it, sending shivers up her spine. "Like you Maxie. I find myself thinking of you all the time. When I sleep, I dream about you. I just can't get you out of my head. And seeing you with Logan, that's just like being back at Manticore."
"Really, Zack?"
"Would I lie to you Maxie?"
"No, but."
"Look, don't worry about it baby sister. Just stay here for awhile. I'll be back soon." He dropped her hand, got up and began walking toward the door.
"Where are you going Zack?" she asked, jumping up to stop him.
"I said I'll be back soon Max. I want you to stay here, please. Do it for me?"
"Why should I?"
"Because I'm you're CO. More importantly because I am you're big brother. Please?" He begged.
"Alright. But you better be back soon or I will kick your ass, you got that?'
"Sure Maxie."
Sorry for taking so long to post. I had it ready but couldn't get my Internet to work. Hope that you like it.
Please review or else I won't know whether you want me to keep going, or if you absolutely hate it.
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Chapter 1
What if Max had been in love with Zack as well as Logan during Blah Blah Woof Woof? Who would she have chosen? What would have happened?
Max sat at the window, staring out into the rain. 'God I hate it when it rains sometimes.' And now was one of those times. 'I shouldn't have let him go. I do love him. I just don't know how much. Maybe he was right and I do love Zack. But that doesn't mean that I don't love Logan. I just don't know who I should choose. I mean Zack knows everything about my past, because he's been there. He knows what I've been through because he was there by my side. But I've always thought of him as being my big brother. I just don't know what I feel for Zack. I love him, yes. But is it the kind of love Logan was talking about?
'And Logan. He's been there through some of my worst seizures, he helped me bust out of jail. He is the one who helped me find Zack and Hannah. I have helped him in return. We are partners. I just want to know if we are more than that. I don't know what it is that I feel for Logan either. I'm just so confused.'
Hearing Zack moving around in the kitchen, Max got up from the window and went to sit on the couch. She looked up at the doorway to see Zack just about to walk through it. He must have sensed that she was watching her because he looked up at her, and caught her eyes. For a moment she thought that she had seen something there, but when she looked again it was gone, replaced with that solid barrier that Zack always seemed to have up. She heard a clink and looked down at his hands. He carried a bottle of wine and two glasses.
Walking over, Zack sat down opposite her and placed the bottle and glasses on the table between them.
"I thought that you'd want to get moving. Bang over the border into Canada before dawn." Max commented
"We've got a secure nights lodging's. Might as well take advantage of it."
He replied as he poured the wine into the two glasses. Once finished, he picked one up and handed it to Max.
Taking it off him, her fingers gently brushed against his, sending sparks up her arm. Startled, she looked up into his eyes once more. This time she could see so much more, and he didn't try to hide it. She could she hatred, fear, anger, even love in those eyes, and it scared her. She had never seen so many intense feelings in anyone's eyes, let alone Zack's. She looked away, frightened by what she had seen.
"Here's to you finally doing the right thing and getting out of Seattle." He toasted.
"Right."
"I remember the morning of the escape getting into Cheyenne about 7:00 A.M. The streets were just starting to fill with people. Not soldiers or doctors just regular people on their way to work. It scared the hell out of me. As far as I was concerned, they were all the enemy and I was completely outnumbered."
"I know how you feel." Max remembered her first morning all by herself in a large crowded marketplace. It had been horrifying.
"I climbed onto the roof of an office building in downtown to lay low just as the sun was coming up. It was my first morning as a free man. The whole world looked different."
"It was like it was in colour all of a sudden."
"I know I've been hard on you, Max but I'm just trying to keep you safe."
"I know."
Then Zack reached over and swept a piece of hair of her face. About to take his hand away, Max reached up and grabbed it, holding it in her own hand. It felt so warm and safe, that she wanted to keep it there forever. Zack smiled at her, one of his rare, too quick for camera smiles. She wished he would smile more. Logan smiled all the time, but Logan was gone now, she might never see him again.
Zack must have known some how that she was thinking of Logan, because he asked, "You're going to miss him aren't you?"
"You think that's stupid."
"No. A part of me want's the same things - friends.a place where I belong.someone to care about."
Max's heart caught as she heard those words. He wanted someone to care about. Could that someone be her? She had to be certain.
"I thought it was all a sentimental lie."
"Even I have my moments of weakness."
"Oh. Like what?"
Lifting her hand up, he gently kissed the back of it, sending shivers up her spine. "Like you Maxie. I find myself thinking of you all the time. When I sleep, I dream about you. I just can't get you out of my head. And seeing you with Logan, that's just like being back at Manticore."
"Really, Zack?"
"Would I lie to you Maxie?"
"No, but."
"Look, don't worry about it baby sister. Just stay here for awhile. I'll be back soon." He dropped her hand, got up and began walking toward the door.
"Where are you going Zack?" she asked, jumping up to stop him.
"I said I'll be back soon Max. I want you to stay here, please. Do it for me?"
"Why should I?"
"Because I'm you're CO. More importantly because I am you're big brother. Please?" He begged.
"Alright. But you better be back soon or I will kick your ass, you got that?'
"Sure Maxie."
Sorry for taking so long to post. I had it ready but couldn't get my Internet to work. Hope that you like it.
Please review or else I won't know whether you want me to keep going, or if you absolutely hate it.
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