Love Letter Lunacy


Obligatory Disclaimer: Elf needs food badly! And Nintendo owns everything 'cept this fic!
Author's Notes: Here's chapter two! Thanks to everyone who reviewed chapter one!  ^_^



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"You're kidding!"

"I kid you not!"

"You're joking!"

"I joke you not!"

"Okay, stop talking like that."

"Sorry." Fox McCloud allowed a hangdog look to crawl across his face. "But seriously, Falco, I am not lying! Princess Zelda wrote me a love letter!"

The proud and indigo colored Falco Lombardi sneered at his fellow pilot and folded his arms across his chest, disbelievingly. "Zelda, a Princess from a faraway land known as Hyrule, as fair as a summer sky and as pure as the winter snow, with more suitors than you can shake a stick at… Wrote a letter for you, Fox?" Slowly, Fox nodded. "HAH! Don't make me laugh!"

The two were traipsing through the hallways of the Super Smash Hotel, hoping to chance upon the princess in question. After Fox had discovered an anonymous and extremely amorous letter at the bottom of his laundry basket, which Zelda had prepared for him, he was absolutely certain that she had written it. The evidence was all there. He had even shown him the letter itself but Falco didn't believe it, claiming it was a fake or, at the very least, a letter intended for someone else. Why couldn't his accomplice have faith in him?

"I'm telling you Falco, she wrote the letter for me!"

"I doubt it. For crying out loud, you sing 80s songs in the shower."

"…That was low."

Falco smirked, pleased at himself for lowering Fox's self-esteem just a notch---it was a bit of a hobby of his. "Face it Fox, it's not like she decided to just get up and say, 'I'm going to give him a love letter from me and not sign it! I hope he reads it!'"

Grudgingly, Fox turned a corner and headed down various flights of stairs with his so-called feathered friend at his side. Both of the pilots were completely unaware that the anonymous love letter had slipped out from its confinement in Fox's pocket and landed exactly in front of someone else's room door as they passed.

A few minutes and friendly arguments later, Fox and Falco had received permission from HAL security to enter the females' hotel to visit Zelda. Fortunately, they caught her just as she was exiting her room. A tennis bag was draped over her shoulder and she was dressed in a cute tennis skirt and shirt set.

"Oh, hey Zelda!" Fox called out to her to halt her. "Um… Where are you going?"

Falco couldn't refrain from smacking Fox upside his furred head. "She's going to weed a garden… What do you think!?"

Zelda chuckled at the two pilots' antics. "What can I help you with? More laundry, perhaps?"

"Um, no," a nervous Fox began twiddling his gloved fingers, "you see… I found something in the basket… Actually, it was at the very bottom of it, like if it were well-hidden or if you *wanted* me to find it in that pile of clothes…"

Zelda did not know where this was leading her. She arched a perplexed and blonde eyebrow.

"Well… Um." Fox couldn't take it anymore. He finally let it all out. "I found it! Okay Zelda! I friggin' FOUND IT. I FOUND IT, DAMMIT, I FOUND IT!!!"

"…Fox, what are you talking about?"

"The letter. I found it."

"…Huh?"

"You know, the love letter?"

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're referring to."

Fox was growing helpless. "You know! The love letter!" He clasped his hands together near his heart and looked away with dreamy eyes, reciting lines from the poem that was included in the letter. "Unlinked with hope that thou wouldst free your heart from a dark slavery."

Zelda shook her head, apologetically. "Sorry. I have no idea what you're talking about, Fox…" She gave him an uneasy look before turning on the heel of her tennis shoes to walk away.

"Wait, wait!" Fox called out. Zelda paused. "I have the letter with me!"

As the blonde princess stood and waited, the renard searched for the letter on his person like a chicken with its head cut off. He patted himself profusely around his pelvic area that garnered many an eyebrow raise from Zelda. However, she, as always, remained tight-lipped and calmly waited for Fox to present this letter he accused her of writing.

Falco glanced to a panic-stricken Fox, bemused. He leaned closer to him and whispered: "Did you lose something?"

"Shut up, you! I had it in my back pocket!"

"Is it there, then?"

Fox sighed. "No…"

Zelda shrugged and went about her way, leaving Falco alone to console a heart-broken Fox who laid in a fetal position on the floor of the hallway.

"There there, Fox," the falcon said in between snickers, "I'm sure Zelda will remember she wrote it and come back and declare her unbending love for you."

"…Falco?"

"Yeah, Fox?"

"I hope you die a painful and slow death."

"Love you too."

Powerful sunlight combined with booming voices echoing throughout the hallways just outside of the hotel room caused the Hylian known the world over as simply Link to stir in his peaceful sleep. He groaned and tossed and turned in his bed. He soon realized, however, that he could not return to his slumber. He lazily sat up in his bed and did nothing but stare around the currently unoccupied room with lazy blue eyes.

I know I'm supposed to do something today…

Link let that thought settle in for a while before the unmistakable voice of Falco Lombardi woke him up completely. He heard him say: "I'm going to give him a love letter from me and not sign it! I hope he reads it!"

What?

At first, Link wanted to ignore that notion. But as time went on, he kept on thinking of what Falco could have possibly meant by that. Curiosity got the better of him and he soon found himself opening the door to his hotel room and peering down to find a letter on the "Welcome!" door mat.

Falco… Wrote me this?

The chimichangas he had for dinner the previous night suddenly wanted to leap out of his system via his mouth. He fought the urge to vomit and read the letter instead.

When he finished reading the last line of the letter, Link released an extremely high-pitched, blood-curdling scream that echoed through his room, outside of it and down the halls, and probably reaching as far as the nearest town, which was miles away.

Outside, a few pedestrians wondered what the Hell was going on… 

Two pedestrians in particular were Kirby, the cute pink hero from Popstar, and Roy, the young and handsome swordsman. Both were in the middle of a negotiation when they heard what sounded like someone screaming bloody murder. Roy had enough errands of his own to do and he thanked his luck when he came across Kirby; perhaps the little marshmallowy hero could help ease his burden.

"So all I'm asking you to do is to get this list of Donkey Kong's weaknesses," Roy explained, "it's for Zelda's match today. I had promised to get it for her but I completely forgot it up in my hotel room."

"Oh, I'll go get it for you and give it to her, then."

"Thanks Kirby. It's Room 473."

"You share rooms with Link and Marth, right?"

Roy nodded and Kirby went on his merry ol' way. Within moments, thanks to the miracle of speedy elevators, Kirby was on the fourth floor of the males' hotel.

He was nearly trampled upon by Link who ran down the hallway in complete battle dress; even his sword and shield were drawn! The Hylian shouted out at the top of his lungs: "YOU'LL NEVER GET ME!!!! THIS I VOW!!!"

Kirby wondered what the Hell was going on.

He shrugged and, after noticing the door to room 473 was left open by Link the rampaging maniac, made his way in.

"Hm. Roy said he wanted me to get a list…?" Kirby asked himself. Not knowing where to look, he simply glanced around, thinking that Roy would have probably left it out or something---otherwise, he or Link would have told him exactly where it was. Right?

To get a better view of things, Kirby climbed on top of a chair. Aha! His big eyes spotted a folded sheet of paper on top of one of the three desks. That must be it!

With that, Kirby grabbed the letter and headed back outside. His next destination was the tennis court. Along the way, Kirby spotted the small form of Ness, one of the best friends he had made during his time at this Super Smash Brothers tournament. Ness had about three Little League baseball bats in hand.

"Hi Ness! What're the bats for?"

"Oh hey Kirby! Me, Young Link, Popo, and a few others are having a quick ball game. We need an extra player. Wanna join?"

Kirby smiled happily and waved his little hands in the air. "Do I ever!"

Before he could forget about his initial task at hand, one half of the Ice Climbers, Nana, just happened to be strolling by Kirby and Ness. She seemed to be heading in the direction of the females' hotel. That gave Kirby an idea.

"Hey Nana! Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure Kirby," the girl said, "what's up?"

"Can you deliver this letter to Zelda? She's at the tennis courts now," the pink puff handed Nana the letter. "Tell her it's from Roy."

Nana blinked but took the letter. "Hm. Alrighty then."

"Thank you, Nana!"

"A letter for me?"

"That's what I think it is," Nana said politely. "I didn't read it, though."

"Who is it from?"

"It's from Roy."

Zelda hummed thoughtfully as she took the letter from the ice climber-turned-delivery girl. Seeing that her job was done, Nana trotted away from Zelda's personal court, leaving the princess to read the letter in private.

The size of Zelda's deep blue eyes quadrupled.

"ROY IS HOT FOR MY BODY!?!?"

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A/N: ^^; And the chaos continues on…
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