Xin Ru Si Hui (A Heart Reduced To Ashes)
Chapter Eight
What if Max had been in love with Zack as well as Logan during Blah Blah Woof Woof? Who would she have chosen? What would have happened?
Jondy watched as Zack swept Max off her feet, she heard her baby sister whisper to him that she loved him and heard Zack tell Max that he loved her back. She watched as they shared a long passionate kiss, and turned her head, as tears sprung into her eyes once more. Zack hadn't even noticed her. And now he was leading Max down to the streets. Even Max hadn't said goodbye.
And now I'm alone again
No where to turn, no one to go to
Without a home, without a friend
Without a face to say hello to
And now the night is here
And I can make believe he's here
What Max didn't know, could never know, was that Jondy loved Zack too. She loved him, but he hadn't loved her. 'Because he loves Max. And there's nothing that I can do about it. I can't stop them being happy. I don't want to stop them. I couldn't even tell Max that she was not alone, that I loved him too. She'll never know that when I said we were alike, that I wasn't just talking about us having the same bikes, I meant that we both had the same thoughts, and loved the same man. Talk about sibling rivalry.'
Sometimes I walk alone at night when every body else is sleeping
I think of him and then I'm happy with the company I'm keeping
The city goes to bed
And I can live inside my head
'I wish I knew what it was that makes me so attracted to Zack. I wish I knew why I can't let him go. There are so many questions that I have that I need answered. And there's no one that I can go to to ask. Because none of them understand me as well as Maxie, or even Zack, did. And I can't go to them. No. I can't ever tell them anything about what I feel. They can't know. It would ruin them.'
On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone I walk with him till morning
Without him I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me
Jondy pulled out the mobile phone that she kept with her at all times. She rang the number that she knew off by heart. It ran three times, before Zack's voice cut in.
"Hey Zack, I fixed the problem, and I'm leaving now. You won't be able to come looking for me either. I don't want you to. You won't have to. I need you to tell Maxie something for me, ok big brother? I need you to tell her that I love her so much and I am so sorry that I have to leave so soon after finding her again."
In the rain the pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me forever and forever
"I need you to tell her that I'm sorry for not finding her sooner. And you have to look after her for me. You have to protect her from everything, because you're the CO and you're in love with our baby sister. You have to tell her where the others are, all of them. Blue Lady knows that she will need to find as many of her brothers and sisters as possible."
And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say there's a way for us
"You have to let her see as many of the others as possible. You have to get her away from here, because she has too many bad memories of this place. And you have to stay with her forever and ever. Promise me that, Zack, promise. She loves you, and I know you love her. And if you ever let go of each other, then you're lives will be awful until you hook up again. I love you Zack, and I love you too Maxie. And if you're the one who is listening to this Maxie, then hear this: I know how you felt, and I know what was going through your head. I love you baby sister. Good-bye."
I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone, the river's just a river
Without him the world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers
With those last words Jondy hung up the phone and placed it back in her pocket. She stood up and looked at the pale moon hanging above her head and sighed.
Under her breath, Jondy murmured, "While the weight of the curtain closing crushes your heart, the inertia of loneliness tears you apart."
It was the perfect quote for what she felt now. So with one last look at the moon, she walked to the edge and threw herself off.
I love him
But everyday I'm learning
All my life I've only been pretending
Without me his world will go on turning
A world that's full of happiness that I have
Never known
I love him, I love him
I love him, but only on my own
--Les Miserables
~~
THE END
Chapter Eight
What if Max had been in love with Zack as well as Logan during Blah Blah Woof Woof? Who would she have chosen? What would have happened?
Jondy watched as Zack swept Max off her feet, she heard her baby sister whisper to him that she loved him and heard Zack tell Max that he loved her back. She watched as they shared a long passionate kiss, and turned her head, as tears sprung into her eyes once more. Zack hadn't even noticed her. And now he was leading Max down to the streets. Even Max hadn't said goodbye.
And now I'm alone again
No where to turn, no one to go to
Without a home, without a friend
Without a face to say hello to
And now the night is here
And I can make believe he's here
What Max didn't know, could never know, was that Jondy loved Zack too. She loved him, but he hadn't loved her. 'Because he loves Max. And there's nothing that I can do about it. I can't stop them being happy. I don't want to stop them. I couldn't even tell Max that she was not alone, that I loved him too. She'll never know that when I said we were alike, that I wasn't just talking about us having the same bikes, I meant that we both had the same thoughts, and loved the same man. Talk about sibling rivalry.'
Sometimes I walk alone at night when every body else is sleeping
I think of him and then I'm happy with the company I'm keeping
The city goes to bed
And I can live inside my head
'I wish I knew what it was that makes me so attracted to Zack. I wish I knew why I can't let him go. There are so many questions that I have that I need answered. And there's no one that I can go to to ask. Because none of them understand me as well as Maxie, or even Zack, did. And I can't go to them. No. I can't ever tell them anything about what I feel. They can't know. It would ruin them.'
On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone I walk with him till morning
Without him I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me
Jondy pulled out the mobile phone that she kept with her at all times. She rang the number that she knew off by heart. It ran three times, before Zack's voice cut in.
"Hey Zack, I fixed the problem, and I'm leaving now. You won't be able to come looking for me either. I don't want you to. You won't have to. I need you to tell Maxie something for me, ok big brother? I need you to tell her that I love her so much and I am so sorry that I have to leave so soon after finding her again."
In the rain the pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me forever and forever
"I need you to tell her that I'm sorry for not finding her sooner. And you have to look after her for me. You have to protect her from everything, because you're the CO and you're in love with our baby sister. You have to tell her where the others are, all of them. Blue Lady knows that she will need to find as many of her brothers and sisters as possible."
And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say there's a way for us
"You have to let her see as many of the others as possible. You have to get her away from here, because she has too many bad memories of this place. And you have to stay with her forever and ever. Promise me that, Zack, promise. She loves you, and I know you love her. And if you ever let go of each other, then you're lives will be awful until you hook up again. I love you Zack, and I love you too Maxie. And if you're the one who is listening to this Maxie, then hear this: I know how you felt, and I know what was going through your head. I love you baby sister. Good-bye."
I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone, the river's just a river
Without him the world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers
With those last words Jondy hung up the phone and placed it back in her pocket. She stood up and looked at the pale moon hanging above her head and sighed.
Under her breath, Jondy murmured, "While the weight of the curtain closing crushes your heart, the inertia of loneliness tears you apart."
It was the perfect quote for what she felt now. So with one last look at the moon, she walked to the edge and threw herself off.
I love him
But everyday I'm learning
All my life I've only been pretending
Without me his world will go on turning
A world that's full of happiness that I have
Never known
I love him, I love him
I love him, but only on my own
--Les Miserables
~~
THE END